April O'Neil vs Ulala
Season 4, Episode 29
Vital statistics
Air date February 5, 2016
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Bane vs Captain America (crossover with Big the cat 10) Simba vs The Beast (second crossover with LionKeybladeWielder)

April O'Neil vs Ulala is a What-if Death Battle.


Nickelodeon vs Sega! Which of these two reporters is deadly enough to earn the top story?


Wiz: Reporters are the many people who get the scoop to see what is going on.

Boomstick: And these two lovely ladies are no exception. April O'Neil, the news reporter of Channel 6...

Wiz: ...and Ulala, the news reporter of Space Channel 5.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'M Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

April O'Neil

Wiz: April O'Neil is a common ally to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, though her occupation is usually various depending on the comics, movies, and even the three cartoons around the world of the TMNT, such as a news reporter in the movies and first cartoon, an assistant to Baxter Stockman in the comics and the terrible 4Kids show, and even the version from the Modern version of the Ninja Turtles from Nickelodeon.

Boomstick: And while we put in as much shit load of tactics on her as possible, the design that we will be using for this fight is the hot and sexy one from the first classic cartoon, which in my opinion, is the best Ninja Turtle cartoon of all, with the modern Nick show as my second best.

Wiz: Anyway, we all know that April O' Neil is the Damsel in Distress like Lois Lane and Mary Jane Watson, but there is more to her than meets the eye.

Boomstick: And we are not talking about her looks, her boobs, her vagina, and even her ass.

Wiz: She has taken some certain training with the turtles under the occasional instructions of even Splinter that she can also wield the Katana, just like Leonardo.

Boomstick: She also wields the Ninja Star, known as the shuriken, even though she has little use of it, these small metallic stars can hit their opponents when thrown before they get a chance to see what hit them.

Wiz: Alongside those two ninja weapons, she also wields the Tessen, an iron fan that was made to beat people with to stun them, or even be used to reflect projectiles, and to throw at foes as a projectile.

Boomstick: Now that is a fan that I can use to do more than try to keep myself and my beers cool. Well, despite being all that, she is still your typical average Damsel in Distress waiting to be rescued by our favorite heroes in a half shell every now and then.

Wiz: But she has accomplished certain in various forms, like in the 2012 Nickelodeon version, she once took on Karai in her first ninja fight and one, even though it was when Karai let her guard down when she learned about April losing her mother. And in the 2014 reboot movie, also from Nick, she used her foot to insert Leonardo's katana to slit through Shredder while the two and the turtles were on top of a tall building.

Boomstick: So it pays not to underestimate hot red heads like miss April O'Neil.

April O'Neil: I get yelled at, I get scooped on my story, I nearly got fired, all because of those turtles.


Wiz: The year was 2489, When Ulala was 12 years old, she was rescued by a professional reporter from Space Channel 5, and to show her gratefulness, she dreamed of being Space Channel 5's next reporter.

Boomstick: 10 Years later, she gets her dream come true, and goes on a mission on the mysterious invasion of the Morolians, a bunch of aliens who are like the hybrids of stereos and the Rabbids.

Wiz: Ulala is quite the dancer when she fights, so her dances are nothing to be toyed at.

Boomstick: And what can be better than just dancing? Dancing with laser pisotls, that's what! with her two pistols, she can shoot her opponents to turn them into oblivion while being in rhythm. Do you know any woman who can be as badass as her? Oh wait, there is, which is sexy her on and off rival, Pudding of Space Channel 42, they are occasionally rivals, that they even have a shred off with electric guitars.

Wiz: And she has bested her and other rival reporter, Jaguar on occasions, though they redeem themselves to help her deal with Mr. Blank and Purge and save the galaxy. Not to mention the fact that she also starred with Sonic and certain other Sega characters in racing and tennis.

Boomstick: And a more perfect reason she puts the Oooh-Lah-Lah in... well, Ulala!

Wiz: If you say so, Boomstick.

Ulala: Spa-a-a-a-a-a-ace Channel 5!



Wiz: All right, the Combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!


It was nighttime in New York City, and we see the Channel 6 News studio, and inside we see April O’Neil talking with Irma.

Irma: Oh, come on April, admit it, you must at least have a crush on one of the turtles.

April: Irma, if I have to tell you once, I have to tell you a million times, I am only friends with the turtles.

Irma: Oh, even if Bestiality doesn’t suit you, at least you can still tell me who your number one turtle crush is.

April: Ugh, I don’t know why you always drag me into this kind of situation all the…

Just then, Burne Thompson comes into the room interrupting the conversation.

Burne: April, we got ourselves a news flash, there was a ship landing somewhere in the woods part of New York; I want you to locate it, find the operator, and interview the survivor from what they were doing in space to how it feels to arrive in our world.

April: Huh, and you thought you didn’t believe in aliens, Mr. Thompson.

Burne: Well, it did change since that Shredder character, that one robotic wrestler with a talking alien brain its stomach, two punk zoo animals, and most importantly those darn turtles have been around, anyway, can you handle that story, or should I have Vernon cover it?

Vernon: (in fear) Me? Look, as much as I want to best April, I think we should let her do this one after all. Maybe there will be safer story for me to cover?

April: Very well Mr. Thompson, I will go and do this story for you.

Burne: Good, and I hope those turtles will not make mischief on the way to steal that ship.

Irma: Speaking of which, when you get back April, we are still going to continue our conversation.

April then takes the van to the woods where the ship landed. Among arriving there, she sees an alien that looks like an anthropomorphic stereo with rabbit ears, which is revealed to be a Morolian.

April: Holy Scoop, that is one interesting creature, I just have to call the guys and…

But before she could get started, she is spotted by the Morolian and is zapped by it, causing April to uncontrollably dance.

April: Hey, what’s going on? I’m dancing, but why am I dancing?

Just then, another ship comes by and softly lands, and the pilot of the ship reveals herself to be a human woman with pink hair in pigtails wearing a white top, white skirt, white boots, and white gloves. Her name is Ulala, and she pulls out her space piston, aims it at April, who is in the process of shaking her booty in rhythm, and shoots it to make April stop dancing and revert back to normal stance.

Ulala: There you go, good Earth citizen, I’m sure no harm was…

April then interrupts the moment by charging at the Morolian and slicing it in half with her katana.

Ulala: …done?

Then Ulala crossed her eyes.

Ulala: Hey, what was that all about?

April: I won’t let you and your armies of creatures do more damage, we shall settle this now.

Ulala: Fine, but let’s do it in rhythm.

April: Very well.

They both get to their positions.


April starts off by shooting a three Shurikens at Ulala in four beat time. Ulala then uses her pistons to disintegrate the Shurikens, also in four beat time. Then Ulala shoots five shots, also in four beat time, and April dodges them all, Ninja style, and also in four beat time. And as April and Ulala were taking turns firing, countering and dodging attacks, April decides then to let Ulala shoot her, then she took out her Tessen, then she opens it to reflect the shot back at Ulala, hitting the gun off of her hand and suffering the pain of the shot, then April closes her Tessen and tosses at Ulala, hitting her in the forehead. And she charges at Ulala with her katana at the ready, but it wasn’t long after Ulala recovered to pull out her guitar and blocked the attack by using her guitar as a sword. Then the two collide in a swordfight in a weird way, in which they block each other’s attacks and parrying each other’s attacks, and dodging them as well.

April: And I thought guitars were meant for playing music with.

Ulala: They are, but they can also be useful weapons if one uses them right.

Then all of the sudden, Ulala knocks the Katana out of April’s Hand, making it fly until it got stuck in the tree, then April tries to use the Tessen again, but Ulala knocks it out of her hand as well to the point where the Tessen was smashed into pieces.

April: Oh great, now would be a good time to call the turtles for back-up here.

But before she was about to reach into her pocket, Ulala uses her guitar to make April land down.

Ulala: Nobody does that to my friends and gets away with it.

She then pulls out her pistol and fires it at April, hitting her in the cleavage thus killing her.

Ulala: Well, looks like this fight over.

She then turns to see the dead Morolian.

Ulala: (sighs is depression) And unfortunately, so is the Morolian. This is Ulala with tragic news. It turns that one of the runaway Morolians is found, but unfortunately, an earth citizen killed this creature and tried to head to me next, so I put up a fight with her the best I could, and in the end, I turned out victorious, but it won’t bring this Morolian back to life, so I will play with my guitar with this song that this along with his kind like listening to all while in the process of putting a close to this story, so tune it to Space Channel 5 for more story coverage.

Ulala then starts playing her sad tune with her guitar.



Boomstick: No, the voluptiuous reporter is gone.

Wiz: April may have some experience as a ninja, but it was not enough to put away Ulala.

Boomstick: And not to mention that Ulala's electric guitar served as a weapon to block the Katanas.

Wiz: But in the end, it was only a matter of time until one of them survived.

Boomstick: Looks like April has signed off her lat news report, permanently.


Wiz: The Winner is Ulala.


  • This is Maxevil's Sixty-ninth episode.

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