Audrey II vs Petey Piranha is ZackAttackX's second Death Battle.
Description[]
Little Shop of Horrors vs Mario Bros.! A battle between two plants with killer instincts!
Interlude[]
(*Cues Jim Johnson - Invader*)
Boomstick: I keep telling you, Wiz. It's only a matter of time before the plants take over!
Wiz: Especially if they have these two carnivorous cuttings on their side.
Boomstick: The Audrey II, the mean, green mother from outer space.
Wiz: And Petey Piranha, the Striker Cup champion.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Audrey II[]
(Cues Little Shop of Horrors (Piano Accompaniment) - Da Doo)
Wiz: In the run-down town of Skid Row, there was a small flower shop named Mushnik's Skid Row Florists, owned by the greedy Mr. Mushnik.
Boomstick: As you could probably image, business was anything but brisk and one day, he decided it was time for the old shop to bite the dust.
Wiz: Until the young, botanical genius Seymour Krelborn saved the day by… putting a flytrap in the window. But this particular plant had never been seen before, and was beamed to Earth during a total eclipse of the sun. Seymour bought the plant from an old Chinese salesman for $1.95 and dubbed it the Audrey II…
Boomstick… and it became a bloodthirsty monster with evil intentions! This is what happens when you don’t spend your money wisely, kids!
(Cues Feed Me (Git It) Karaoke)
Wiz: Yeah. Turns out the only way that the Audrey II could only grow was by ingesting the blood of humans, and somehow, he convinced Seymour to get him enough to grow strong enough to conquer the world.
Boomstick: You know, for some overgrown garden accessory, this thing is actually pretty scary, and definitely capable of killing things. Its vines are strong enough to smash entire buildings into oblivion. He can eat through people faster than my ex-wife ate through my wallet, and is a master of manipulation. He can also control any sort of plant life he chooses.
Wiz: Along with all his destructive capability is his insane defence. For a plant, he can take a whole lot of punishment. He can take gunshots like they are nothing – not even the U.S Army could defeat him.
Boomstick: He is also tough enough to send himself through buildings made of solid brick.
Wiz: Unfortunately, Audrey II’s greatest weakness is his lack of speed and variety. He is practically immobile, though he has been shown to use his vines to help him get around faster. He also has a glaring weakness to electricity, which eventually became his downfall in the theatrical ending.
Boomstick: Despite this, if you cross the mean green mother from outer space, you better get the hell outta there! Also, we keep referring to it as a “he”, but it calls itself a “mother”. Which is it?
Wiz: Does it matter?
Boomstick: Guess not.
Seymour: Look, you’re a plant. An inanimate object.
Audrey II: Does this look inanimate to you, punk? If I can talk and I can move, who’s to say I can’t do anything I want?
Petey Piranha[]
(Cues Stormship Stadium - Mario Strikers Charged Music Extended)
Boomstick: Now HERE is Sunflora’s ugly cousin!
Wiz: Not much is known about the history of Petey Piranha, but we do know that he is a follower of King Bowser and there is a good chance he is the king of the piranha plants.
Boomstick: One thing’s for certain, he is no slouch when it comes to battle. He is definitely one of the most physically strong characters in the Mario universe, earning the Power typing in Mario Strikers. He can send guys like Donkey Kong, Wario and Bowser tumbling by shaking his head and he can create shockwaves simply by jumping, much like Wiz’s mother.
Wiz: Hey!
(Cues Battlerock Galaxy - Main Track - Super Mario Galaxy Music Extended)
Boomstick: Moving on, he has also shown that he is pretty durable. He can take hits from the Mario Bros. He tanked electricity, bombs, shells and loads more shit.
Wiz: He has shown to be quite good in the speed department. He is definitely not among the fastest in his verse, far from it, but he can keep up with the Mario Bros and has the reaction time needed to hit a Fastball. He can also flap his leaves and hover temporarily.
Boomstick: Wait, this thing can fly?
Wiz: For a while, yes.
Boomstick: Well then…
(Cues World 5 Map - New Super Mario Bros. Wii Music Extended)
Wiz: Some of Petey’s offensive techniques include his Tweester technique, where he creates a tornado larger than himself and hurls it at his foe. The toxic goop he can fire from his mouth can summon enemies, such as smaller piranha plants. He can even spit Goombas out of his mouth.
Boomstick: He can also spit out huge dollops of mud with his Mud Slinger, which spreads mud across the ground to lower an opponent’s speed. He also has his Mega Strike, where he is lifted into the air by a huge flower where he can spit out projectiles at his foe. Jesus, how can you stop this guy?
Wiz: Well, you see, Petey is… not very bright. He is very clumsy and if he gets too filled up, he will simply topple over and struggle to get back up. Which opens up another weakness of his – his bellybutton.
Boomstick: Also, as a plant, he has weaknesses to fire and ice. But despite this, Petey is definitely one plant you don’t want to have in your garden!
Petey does his home intro from Mario Strikers Charged Football
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Fight[]
Location: Mushnik and Son's Skid Row Florists.
Things were not well with Audrey II. Ever since that new plant came in, his spotlight had been slowly taken away. His victims had become fewer and fewer and he was getting REALLY hungry! He glanced over at the bulb sitting in the opposite corner of the room. The sound of high heels pattering against the concrete outside caught his attention. He stayed still as Audrey re-entered the shop, having forgotten her coat. Finally, fresh meat! he thought to himself, slowly extending a vine to grab her when her back was turned. Suddenly, Petey emerged from his bulb and opened his jaws wide. Before Audrey could even comprehend what was going on, Petey's jaw snatched her up. Audrey II slammed his vines on the floor.
(Cues Rival Match VS King Boo - Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games Music Extended)
"Oh you gotta be taking the piss!" he screamed. "First my spotlight, then my food! I've had enough of this!" Petey readied himself, as did Audrey II.
FIGHT!
Audrey II shot out a vine at Petey, who wobbled out of the way. The vine smashed through a pillar, causing a part of the roof to cave in, trapping Seymour downstairs. Petey threw up some mud at Twoey, which covered the plant's face. "Really?" Twoey said, shaking the mud off of him. He wrapped his vine around a pillar and swung at Petey with it. The pillar smacked Petey through the wall of the shop, sending him tumbling into the streets. Petey picked himself up and roared at Audrey II, sending shockwaves Twoey's way. Audrey II braced itself, but didn't realise that the building had started to collapse around him. He quickly shot his vines out into the streets and anchored them into the ground, the he flung himself forward and away from the crumbling florists, tackling Petey in the process.
(Cues Undertale - Megalovania Remix)
As Petey tumbled to the ground, Audrey II landed on top of him, crushing his stomach with his plant pot. He then used wrapped two of his vines around Petey's neck and started to choke him. Petey struggled for air, grabbing at the vines around his neck. Audrey II was not making it easy by constantly jumping up and down on Petey's chest, but eventually, he found a way to escape by sinking his teeth into Audrey II's vines, causing him to loosen his grip. He then shook his head violently to knock Twoey off of him.
Audrey II recovered and sprouted small Audrey IIs around him. They all started to attack Petey, biting his arms and legs. Like before, he shook them off and regurgitated more mud to bury them under, slowing them down while he went for the real Audrey II. He swung his arm and sent a small twister Twoey's way, who used his vines to latch onto the roof of a nearby building, helping him swing away. The twister destroyed the rest of the florists, and Twoey landed safely behind Petey and shot a vine towards Petey. This time, Petey grabbed the vine in his mouth and chewed it off.
(Cues Vs. Boss - Super Mario Sunshine Music Extended)
Twoey screamed in agony and shot another vine at Petey, which suffered the same fate. Petey then took the time to create a large twister with his hand, and launched it Twoey's way. Now out of tricks, Audrey II was caught in the twister and took a huge amount of damage. Petey then fired some toxic goop into Twoey's mouth, and smaller Piranha Plants started to kill him from the inside.
"Son of a bit-" he began before being ripped apart by the Piranha Plants inside him.
(Music stops)
K.O!
- Petey performs his limbo celebration from Mario Strikers Charged Football.
- Audrey II's remains are carried away in the wind.
Results[]
(Cues HQ Album: Petey Piranha's Theme - Mario Strikers Charged Football)
Boomstick: Eww... of all the ways to go...
Wiz: Audrey II may have had the edge in terms of physical strength and intellect, but Petey pulled ahead in every other category. Petey’s speed and manoeuvrability helped him keep his distance and he had more options in terms of close and long ranged combat.
Boomstick: And of course Petey held the edge when it comes to experience. Sure, he’s never been able to best the main protagonist like Twoey, but it’s fair to say that Mario is a much more dangerous opponent than Seymour.
Wiz: Sure, Petey has many more exploitable weaknesses, but he holds the advantage in unpredictability. Twoey’s offense is relatively straightforward compared to Petey’s.
Boomstick: Well, visions of this battle are forever planted in my brain.
Wiz: The winner is Petey Piranha.
