|Bad Box Art Mega Man vs. Captain N! Mega Man|
|Season N/A (BonBooker) / Bonus (Nkstjoa), Episode N/A (BonBooker) / 3 (Nkstjoa)|
|Written by||BonBooker & Nkstjoa|
|N/A (BonBooker) / Cruch VS Cyborg E. (Nkstjoa)||N/A (BonBooker) / Yamcha vs Kazuma Kuwabara (Nkstjoa)|
Bad Box Art Mega Man
(*cues Mega Man - Ending*)
Wiz: The year was 1987. The very first Mega Man game was close to release...
Boomstick: When one of the people working on it finally realized, "Guys, we don't even have a cover", and so they plucked some random artist to make it for them.
Wiz: Having so little time to complete it and without having seen Mega Man or any material for it, the cover art that came out of it had nothing to do with the final game.
Boomstick: Where was this middle-aged man wearing a jumpsuit and a crooked helmet wielding a blaster pistol in the original game? Do I have to unlock him or something?
Wiz: It seemed this Mega Man who starred on the worst video game cover art of all time would never get his chance... until 25 years passed...
Boomstick: In 2012, where he returned older and with a beer belly in Street Fighter X Tekken. Just in time before the end of the Mayan Calendar.
Wiz: With what little info there is to go off him, what we do know is that this Bad Box Art Mega Man is a digger, an individual who scours underground ruins for resources, ancient technologies, and treasures on Terra... or Earth thousands of years in the future.
Boomstick: Wait, how does this guy from the original Mega Man cover art time jump past the X and Zero series' straight into Legends?
Wiz: Beats me. Under orders by his demanding partner Roll, he went on a quest to find the mysterious box Pandora, which had crash-landed into Antarctica... and also, the Street Fighter and Tekken fighters exist in this same world and are also after it.
Boomstick: So now he's not in Legends? Seriously, what timeline or world is he from?
Wiz: It helps not to think too hard about it. Anyway, despite being short, overweight and actually aging 25 years from his box art debut, this Mega Man is surprisingly athletic and can hold his own in a street fight.
Boomstick: He has everything from a sliding kick to a upward kick with both legs... which is kind of useless on the ground unless the opponent's right in his face, but also isn't too bad for stopping an aerial strike.
Wiz: But just about all of his versatility comes from his "Mega Buster", which is an all-purpose futuristic handgun. It can fire a single pellet for a fast attack or to counter projectiles.
Boomstick: As well as the Ice Slasher, which only freezes the foe for, like, not even a second, but it also travels slow enough to give some foes trouble jumping to him.
Wiz: When in mid-air, he can fire the Thunder Beam...
Boomstick: Like a huge beam of thunder?!
Wiz: It's actually three small electrical currents that travel through the air, moving straight above, below, and in front of Mega Man. However, this move only works if he jumps straight up.
Boomstick: And I don't know if this is the glove or the buster, but he also has a shoryuken.
Wiz: The Mega Upper, which can strike hard enough to lift foes and Mega Man himself off the ground. Finally, he can charge his mega buster for a more powerful pellet. At its apex, it becomes the Mega Cannon, a blast so strong it takes Mega Man a brief moment to recover upon firing it.
Boomstick: With all that's been said, you'd think as a joke character that this Mega Man is a weakling, but he's a very capable fighter. I mean just look at his two throws: a sumo toss... and just PICKING THEM UP WITH ONE HAND OVER HIS SHOULDER!
Wiz: In real life, the strongman Louis Cyr held the record for the heaviest weight lifted with one hand at 273 pounds, as well as lifting a large rock onto his shoulder which weighed at minimum 467 pounds. Considering the ease of which Mega Man can lift up opponents over his shoulder with a single hand, this could mean that he is capable of similar feats.
Wiz: However, while this Mega Man did manage to not end up bottom-tier in Street Fighter X Tekken, he also has some of the lowest health out of the entirety of the cast...
Boomstick: Below Akuma, matching Pac-Man in a wooden mech suit, and just above two cats... and Cole MacGrath, funny enough. Also, he gets frightened pretty easily and can really start to panic when backed into a corner. But I gotta say, there's just something so endearing about how dedicated this guy really is.
Wiz: As far as other Mega Men go, this one's got more punch than his appearance and mannerisms would lead you to believe.
Bad Box Art Mega Man runs through the Jurassic Era Research Facility while short of breath when a giant foot stomps on the ground. Pac-Man, piloting his Mokujin suit, continues stepping forward as Mega Man begins to get nervous.
Bad Box Art Mega Man: Who's there...?
He backs up, only to fall over onto his back.
Bad Box Art Mega Man: ...Whoa!
He begins slowly crawling away while looking over at Pac-Man, trying to hide his nervousness behind a smile.
Bad Box Art Mega Man: *nervously chuckles* Hello there friend! Can I ug... help you?
Captain N! Mega Man
(*cues Mega Man X7 - VS Boss*)
|Nkstjoa's Fanon Death Battles|