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Big the Cat vs Patrick Star
BTCvsPS
Season 4, Episode 35
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Air date March 9, 2016
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Mickey Mouse vs Kermit the Frog Hercule Satan vs Homer Simpson
  • Maxevil
  • Shrek-it Ralph

Big the Cat vs Patrick Star is a What-If? Death Battle.

Description

Sega vs Nickelodeon! Which of these two dimwit talking fighters is deadlier?

Interlude

Boomstick: Idiots, the world can be filled with them.

Wiz: Like you, Boomstick, as well as these 2 dunderheaded fighters here today.

Boomstick: Big the Cat, the most hated of the Sonic characters...

Wiz: ...and Patrick Star, the best friend of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Big the Cat

Boomstick: Oh my God, must we talk about him?

Wiz: Yes, Boomstick.

Boomstick: Ugh, fine. Well Big the Cat is this ripoff of Disney's Pete but is all purple.

Wiz: He enjoys fishing for various fish alongside his amphibian friend, Froggy, until Chaos, who was released from the Master Emerald by the notorious Dr. Eggman, tries to steal the yellow Chaos Emerald from under Big's nose, but fails and loses his tail to Froggy in the progress.

Boomstick: Yeah, and then we get the rest in which he becomes the Sonic franchise's very own Waldo of "Where's Waldo?" by making numerous cameos in each Sonic game.

Wiz: Because of the size of his furry body, Big possesses superhuman strength and durability, and despite his slow running speed that easily surpasses the slowness of Vector the Crocodile's slow running speed, Big was more than capable of keeping up with Amy Rose, who is also capable of keeping up with Sonic, the fastest Hedgehog of all.

Boomstick: And much like other Sonic characters, he can do the Homing attack and the Spin Jump, but he has some interesting unique attacks, like his Body Press, and most of his attacks relying on his fishing rod, like Lure Attack, in which he can whack his foes at close range, or at in a distance can be able to his Rod's lure and hit opponents from far away.

Wiz: Speaking of which, he can also use the Big Fishing Technique in which he tosses his Rod's lure around causing his foes to be damaged into submission. And he can use his lure for the Lure Whip in which he trips his foes and possibly stunning them if given the chance.

Boomstick: He also has an umbrella that can give him not only whacking abilities, but can double as a shield, and triple as a way to the descend slowly despite his obese weight.

Wiz: Big is also as much of an idiot as he is obese, so dumb in fact, that his stupidity surpasses that of Knuckles, but it isn't always a bad thing, in which it makes him immune to being under hypnotic situations; also despite his low intelligence and that he was living in the jungle his whole life, Big somewhat knows how to operate machinery like Tails' Tornado 2 and his own variation of Dr. Eggman's Egg Mobile in walking fighter mode.

Boomstick: Now this is one fat cat who is so confusing, he makes Stimpy feel much more better on his own lack of intelligence.

Big: Froggy?... Uh oh. No hold on there, come back, please! Gimme my friend back, I'm beggin' ya! Please!

Patrick Star

Wiz: Everyone's favorite SpongeBob character, Patrick Star, was born as the second child of Margie and Herb Star.

Boomstick: Wait, who is Patrick's sibling?

Wiz: He has an abusive older sister named Sam. Anyway, He later met SpongeBob where the two became best friends. In his adulthood, he manages to rent a rock house to eventually own it, and well, you guys know where this is going.

Boomstick: Right, well on to hisweapons, power, and such. We all know Patrick is quite the strong guy, as on time, he lifted up an entire road over his head when looking for SpongeBob, also he can regenerate any lost particles of his body like a lizard, and is quite skilled at partial karate.

Wiz: He can also do the Starfish cartwheel, which is more than capable to reflect any projectiles if given the chance.

Boomstick: Now he also has two superhero forms, the first being his ego as the Elastic Waistband, in which it grants him elastic powers like Elastic Man.

Patrick: I can finally touch my toes. (stretches his feet over his head and plant his feet in his palms)

Wiz: And the most famous one of his two superhero egos is of course the ridiculously named, Mr. Superawesomeness, a man-sized super-powered starfish with enhanced Strength and Speed, and the oddly unique ability to control the minds of ice cream cones.

Boomstick: Now that is just getting weirder and weirder by the minute. Shit, I wish I would have that power of controling beer cans the way ice creams were done by Rick, er I Mean, Patrick.

Patrick: MY NAME'S NOT RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!

Wiz: Like many of the SpongeBob characters that live in the water (unlike Sandy Cheeks), his weakness is if he stayed in the surface world for too long, he will more than likely to dehydrate and die, unless he is in his famous hero ego.

Boomstick: And as we all know, he is very much a dimwit, he calls pencils writing sticks, and lots of other dumb things. He also is a big baby towards spiders.

Wiz: Best known as arachnophobia.

Patrick: AHHHH! SPIDERS! (lifts up his rock home and repeatedly hits SpongeBob over the head many times while being in his sleep)

Boomstick: And I can't blame him for the whiff of lady's perfume.

(Patrick runs through a Perfume Department with a gas mask on, only for a hand to grab the mask, remove it, and spray perfume in Patrick's face)

Wiz: But did that stop him from accomplishing anything? Absolutely not, as he has won an award for doing absolutely nothing longer than anyone else.

Boomstick: Wow, I wish can get an award like that, anyhow, he also managed to be a better driver than his best friend SpongeBob; also he has survived near death experiences many different times, including one where he fell off an edge that nearly killed him, but instead caused him to lose a piece of head...

(Patrick falls off a cliff screaming, thud sound and Patrick is okay with his top head removed)

Boomstick: ...Twice.

Wiz: And with that durability, he can be just as stupid enough to take on anything that can be thrown at him if given the chance.

Patrick: Firmly grasp it in your hand. (puts net on Squidward's wrapped hand and it falls off, Patrick picks it up) Firmly grasp it. (puts net on Squidward's hand again, it falls off again, Patrick picks it up again) FIRMLY GRASP IT! (Pierces thorugh Squidward's hand with the stick part of the neck, Squidward muffles in pain) That oughta do it.

Intermission

IntermissionBTCvsPS

Wiz: All right, the Combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight

(Cue Big the Cat’s theme from Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s cut)

At a beach, we see Big the Cat and his best amphibian friend, Froggy, doing their usual fishing. Big then decides to put a bit of cheese on the lure of his rod and tries to fish again, until suddenly, he feels a big tug coming from his rod.

Big: Something’s biting!

(Cue the reel it in music from Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s cut)

Big then reels in as quick as he can to make sure his latest catch does not try to get away. And then all of the sudden coming out of the waters is a tubby pink starfish in green shorts with purple flowers on them who was finishing up on the cheese in the lure, his name is Patrick Star.

Patrick: Cheesy.

Patrick sees Big, and then he sees Froggy.

Patrick: (Frightened) Spiders! Spiders! Spiders!

Patrick finds a rock lifts up and repeatedly squishes Froggy with it, because he thought Froggy was a spider. This made Big, who helplessly watched the situation happen, scream in terror. After Patrick is done squishing and killing Froggy, he sighs in relief, but then notices Big getting angry at him for killing Froggy to the point of getting his fishing rod out and getting to his fighting pose, this caused Patrick to get to his pose as well.

(Cue the E-100 series boss theme from Sonic Adventure)

FIGHT!

Big uses his lure to wrap Patrick around the leg and pull him closer to him to deliver a punch, and via the way of a yo-yo, he proceeds to do it a couple of times until Patrick literally uses his cone-shaped head and aims it below Big’s groins causing Big to get on his knees in pain.

Big: Ow!

Then, Patrick tries to give Big a series of punches, but Big is feeling relaxed forgetting about the groin situation, while thinking Patrick is giving Big a massage.

Big: I feel numb.

But Patrick starts to get tired and is feeling dry a bit. This was because of the sun out in present.

(Cue the Grass Skirt Chase theme from SpongeBob SquarePants)

Patrick: (coughs and sputters) WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?

He then tries to head back to the ocean to get his hydration back and succeeds, Big gets up on to his feet after recovering from the hit and then jumps up into the air and decides to come on down to Patrick with a body press, and hits Patrick and currently floating on top of the water where Patrick was standing. But much to Big’s surprise, Patrick comes out to the surface lifting Big over his head and tossing him back to the shore. Big was surprised about all this, but decides to use another body press on Patrick, but Patrick dives into the water, and when Big was in mid-air, Patrick resurfaced as he is dressed as the Elastic Waistband. And when Big comes on down again, Patrick stretches both his arms under Big before he lands on the arms causing them to stretch, and like a typical stone from a slingshot, Big was launched out and fired back on the shore causing the certain sections of the beach scenery to be shaken and palm trees to drop bouncing coconuts, with five of them bouncing off of Big one at a time. Patrick then arrives out of the water to fight Big again, he then stretches his arms to deliver stretchy punches to Big many times as possible until Big Blocks it with his rod, then twirls the hands up a bit like spaghetti noodles and starts to spin Patrick around some, trying to make him lose the suit.

French Narrator from SpongeBob: Three Weeks Later.

(Cue the theme song of Goo-Ladiators from SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants!)

Big is still twirling Patrick around, until the suit comes off of Patrick causing Patrick to land in the ocean again. Patrick gets up recovering as much as possible until he gains his balance again. And just in the nick of time because Big’s lure was coming straight towards him, which is when Patrick reflects it with his Starfish flip. The lure is then coming straight back at Big and hits him in the eye, thus making it looked being poked. Big then decides to jump in the Egg-Walker, and starts to fire everything the machine has to offer on hitting Patrick with, But Patrick uses his Starfish spin again to block them back while he is in the water. And when the projectiles were coming to Big, he counters them with more of his own missiles, then he charges up for a powerful blast to hurt Patrick with, but when Patrick sees this, he decides to pull out a pen and a magic book page gets ready to write something in the piece of paper in his hand, but at the same time, Big fires his machine at Patrick, and just when it looks like Big has disintegrated Patrick, it turns out Patrick has turned himself into his most powerful superhero ego, Mr. Superawesomeness. And he uses his powers to summon millions of ice creams all aiming to Big, who was shocked but tries to fire more missiles at Patrick, but are easily counter whit many ice cream cones that are coming to the purple cat, until one of the ice cream cones hits a self-destruct button on the egg walker, but Big was stuck in the machine, he couldn’t get out in time causing the machine to explode into pieces, and killing Big, all that was left of the fat cat himself was falling pieces of his purple fur, which Patrick decides to collect using his jellyfish net and store them in the pockets of his shorts, and most of them in his shorts as well.

Patrick: (looking at us) I love being purple!

He resumes collecting more falling pieces of purple fur from his deceased opponent that is still falling all over.

K.O.!


Results

(Cue the SpongeBob ending theme)

Boomstick: Yeah, way to go on skinning that Big fat pussy-cat, Patrick! I hope we can hear he is in hell now where he belongs.

Wiz: Big was able to surpass Patrick at Strength and durability at first glance, but the fat starfish himself had plenty of tricks up his sleeve to help him last long with him.

Boomstick: And thanks to his ego, Mr. Superawesomeness, the odds were even now since Pat's strength and durability were increased.

Wiz: And thanks to oddly millions of controlled ice cream cones by his side, he was able to overpower Big's own weaponry and destroy them at all costs.

Boomstick: That dumb fat cat was sure iced and creamed overall.

WinnerPatrick

Wiz: The winner is Patrick Star.

Trivia

  • This is Maxevil's seventy fifth Death Battle.