Bionicat VS Cyborg Kuro-chan is a What-If? episode of Death Battle by Vrokorta . It pits Bionicat from the flash game Paw Paw Miaw, against Kuro from Cyborg Kuro-chan.
Description[]
Battle of Obscure Robot Cat Warriors!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Everybody loves cats, & robots. Naturally, humanity decided to merge the two together.
Boomstick: And it turned out awesome! Except that a lot of people miss out on some of these epic creations.
Sphere Robot: Like Bionicat, the robot cat martial artist.
Vrokorta: And Kuro, the cyborg cat warrior. Together, the four of us will analyze these combatants' weapons, armor & skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
Bionicat[]
Boomstick: You wanna know what Bionicat is? He's a flash game character, but not just any flash game character, a SIMPLE flash game character.
Wiz: What Boom is trying to say is that Bionicat is a very one-dimensional character. Just like every other character in... Paw, Paw, Miaw? What kind of name is that? Anyways, no character in this game has any personality or backstory, they exist for the sole purpose of beating the crap out of each other.
Sphere Robot: And they're not bad at it. Bionicat can punch, kick, uppercut, shoulder ram, & even shoot fireballs!
Boomstick: Wha!? FIREBALLS!?! How!? Why?!
Vrokorta: Perhaps he's channeling his ki.
Boomstick: Oh, yeah, that's it. From now, these guys have ki manipulation.
Wiz: Boom, he was obviously joking.
Boomstick: Sorry, can't hear you over the ki manipulating cat martial artists.
Wiz: *Sigh*
Sphere Robot: Anyways, Vrokorta, let's tell the viewers about the calculations you made.
Vrokorta: Of course. Now, one enemy Bionicat can fight is a human looking cat called C-rex. Assuming C-rex has an average human height of 1.65m, that would make Bionicat 1.2m tall.
Sphere Robot: With this size calc made, Vrokorta was able to calculate Bionicat's mass in the most unnecessarily complicated way possible.
Vrokorta: Heh, yeah. Let this be a lesson to me. Anyways, using Bionicat's height, I calculated the volume of his head, torso, arms, & legs, then added it all together to find the volume for his whole body, which was 0.06m^3. Another character in this game is a cat called Steelo. Judging by the name, I'm guessing he's partially, if not completely made of steel. If he's made of steel, I think it's safe to assume that Bionicat is also made of steel. The density of steel is 8,050kg/m^3, which gives Bionicat a total weight of 483kg.
Sphere Robot: Not only that, but Bionicat is strong enough to uppercut his opponents into the air, & since Paw Paw Miaw is one of those fighting games where a character can fight themselves, that means Bionicat can lift his own 483kg body into the air with just his fist.
Boomstick: Dang, not bad for a one-dimensional flash game character.
Sphere Robot: And we're not done yet.
Wiz: Correct. Since Bionicat is, well, a cat, it's not unnatural to say he can run as fast as one. This would give Bionicat speed equal to 50kph. Combined with his 483kg weight, the kinetic energy of Bionicat performing a full-body charge would be equivalent to over 40,000 joules of energy.
Boomstick: Not bad cat, not bad.
Vrokorta: Bionicat also has decent stamina, being able to fight his way through 10 cats just as strong & skilled as he is. However, for a character as simple as Bionicat, even he has a weakness.
Boomstic: Yeah, remember how we said he's good at martial arts & ki fireballs?
Wiz: Regular fireballs.
Boomstick: Ki. Anyways, that's literally all Bionicat can do. He's severely limited in the options he has for battle. And his fireballs, the only thing giving him any variety in this fight, can only be used once he's gathered energy from beating on his foe. But when your tough enough to cheese a fight against a human sized cat by uppercutting him into a corner, you're definitely not to be messed with.
Vrokorta: Boom, that's just a game mechanic resulting from bad game design.
Boomstick: Whatever.
*Bionicat KOs C-rex by trapping him at the edge of the stage with uppercuts*
Kuro[]
Wiz: Kuro was once a normal stray cat, living on his own in the city. A short encounter with poachers led him to live with other strays in the area, where he spent most of his childhood.
Boomstick: He lived a pretty normal life by stray cat standards, fighting other cats, escaping danger, having a war with crows, blowing up the city. Wait, did I say normal? I meant absurd.
Vrokorta: After a dangerous encounter with other cats, & some conflicting emotions that led to Kuro clawing out his best friend's eye, he ended up abandoning the strays, & got adopted by an old couple, who's names remain unknown to this day.
Sphere Robot: The story didn't end there though. You see, this couple wasn't just old, they were rich too, which led to quite a lot of robbers visiting their house for "personal gain". Luckily, that couple had a defense in place, Kuro, who's apparently strong enough to single-handedly take out armed robbers.
Wiz: Yep, Kuro's a surprisingly strong cat who makes for a very effective house guard. He became well known throughout town for his actions, which only drew more unwanted attention.
Boomstick: Enter Dr. Go, an engineer that looks more like an egg than Eggman. Anyways, this guy wants to conquer the world cause the world mistreated him. Honestly, I'm not against this. Literally everyone's a jerk to Dr. Go, even his old robot companion, THAT HE MADE! Anyways, Dr. Go's plan was to create an army of weaponized cyborg cats that'd help him conquer the planet, & Kuro was going to be his ultimate soldier.
Sphere Robot: Dr. Go found Kuro, & tried to capture him, right when he was about to admit his love to Pooly the poodle.
Boomstick: Wait, a poodle? Why's a cat... in love with a poodle?
Vrokorta: Because anime. So, by inadvertently taking advantage of Kuro's love, Dr. Go was able to capture Kuro, & turn him into a cyborg. One might think this was mission success, but it was anything but.
Wiz: Kuro may've been transformed, but he maintained his original mindset, & immediately rebelled against the doctor before escaping.
Boomstick: Not before pwning the doctor's whole army, stealing a minigun, destroying his entire laboratory, & blowing him up with his own missile, which is just bad***.
Sphere Robot: After escaping, Kuro stole & disemboweled a cat plushie so he could wear it's skin & cover up all of his metal parts.
Vrokorta: After a big chase scene & a few other antics, Kuro made his way back home, where he continued to live his life like normal... or at least tried to.
Wiz: Yeah, from then on, Kuro's daily life has been anything but normal, with antics that range from kidnappings, alien invasions, demonic possession, challenging the military, & stopping a boy genius from nuking the city. Kuro can never really catch a break.
Boomstick: But this cat is well equipped to handle anything that comes his way. Like we mentioned earlier, he's got a handheld minigun that serves as his signature weapon. He can use it to fill his opponent with holes, or just blow'em to kingdom come! He's also got a sword, axe, missile launchers, flamethrower, studded club, machine guns, laser gun, tesla gun, electric knuckles, electric bow & arrow, drill, weaponized jet that attaches to his legs, jetpack, tank, & a watch that summons his various weapons, all of which he uses with great skill.
Sphere Robot: Even without his weapons, Kuro's not bad at hand-to-hand combat, & it helps that he can resist extreme temperatures as high as 3000 degrees C, or low as 0 degrees C. He's also pretty good at dodging.
Vrokorta: Speaking of dodging, Kuro is very fast. He can react to missiles, dodge gunfire & electricity, & should be faster than his owners.
Boomstick: ... you mean the old people? How fast could they possibly be?
Vrokorta: Well, they were once shrunk down to less than 2cm tall, but were still fast enough to outrun a speeding bus, which should be capable of achieving speeds around 100mph. If they're that fast when tiny, then they're regular sized selves should be capable of achieving Mach 12 speeds.
Boomstick: That's... really impressive for a random old couple.
Vrokorta: Indeed.
Wiz: On top of his speed, Kuro has amazing strength, having the capability to overpower characters that've survived giant explosions, blow up entire city blocks, destroy buildings & bridges, lift a train, & slice apart a giant submarine.
Sphere Robot: Not to mention his intelligence. Besides being highly skilled in weapons & combat, Kuro's also good at making strategies & working with machinery.
Boomstick: And the best part of it all, this isn't even his final form.
Wiz: Didn't we use that joke before?
Vrokorta: I dunno, I can't remember.
Boomstick: When Kuro gets crazy angry, he transforms into Wild Kuro, a stronger & more aggressive form that... uhh... has all the same abilities as the original actually.
Vrokorta: This form used to be completely uncontrollable, but seems to be under control as of episode 63, where he actually teams up with an ally to beat a common enemy, which would imply that he at least has more control than he used to.
Sphere Robot: Even with all these impressive feats & abilities, Kuro's far from perfect. As a cyborg, Kuro runs on fuel, & if he runs out, he'll grow extremely tired & weak. On top of that, his metal body can rust & stiffen if it's exposed to too much seawater. His body can even be magnetized, which'll be a huge exploit for anyone who has a magnet or something. He also has a tendency to lose his weapons in some way or another, which limits his options in battle. Even when he doesn't lose his weapons, he only has so much ammo to use before running out & having to switch to another weapon. There was also a time when he couldn't use his minigun cause it was full of water.
Vrokorta: Even so, these faults have hardly stopped Kuro from being the strongest cat, & he's certainly not one to back down from a fight.
*Kuro runs through a group of robot dogs, taking them out with his machine guns*
Intermission[]
Vrokorta: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's, uhh, tell everyone who wins.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battlllllllle!!!
Death Battle[]
Kuro is seen lazily napping on the porch of his house. He felt perfectly relaxed, until he heard a crash somewhere far off. Kuro half-opened his eyes & pulled himself off the ground.
Kuro: What's going on now?
He heard another crash & decided to find out what it was. He wandered through the city, following the noise, until he came across a completely wrecked city block.
Kuro: Gwah!
The walls of buildings had been smashed, cars were crushed, rubble littered the ground, & the bodies of injured cats lay strewn all about. Standing amongst it all, on the other end of the block, was Bionicat.
Kuro: Hey! Who are you, & what did you do!?
Bionicat turned around & looked at Kuro. He then pointed at the cyborg before punching his fist into his palm.
Kuro: You want a fight huh?
Kuro stood up on his hind legs, pulled his minigun out of a hatch in his chest, & pointed it at Bionicat.
Kuro: You're gonna get a lot more than that for what you did.
FIGHT!
Kuro immediately began firing a barrage of bullets at Bionicat, who ran to the right to avoid the shots. The robot continued to run up the side of a building before jumping off & kicking Kuro in the head.
Kuro: Gah!
He hit the ground, but quickly pulled himself back up. He aimed his minigun at Bionicat's feet & started firing. The robot cat leapt into the air, but so did Kuro, who punched the robot right back to the ground before firing at him again. Bionicat hit the ground, but managed to roll out of the way of the bullets before shooting a fireball that knocked Kuro out of the sky. Before his opponent could land, Bionicat ran up & uppercut Kuro back into the air.
Kuro: Gyaaah!
Bionicat continued to deliver uppercuts to Kuro, juggling him in the air & keeping him from doing anything. Eventually, Kuro managed to reach into his chest hatch & pull out a green axe, which he swung into Bionicat's head. The robot cat recoiled, allowing Kuro to land on the ground & pull out his sword. With one big swing, Kuro slammed Bionicat into the air with his sword.
Kuro: Let's see how you like it!
Whilst his opponent was airborne, Kuro shot him with his minigun, causing him to remain in the air. The cyborg eventually stopped, letting Bionicat fall, only to knock him back into the air with his sword & continue shooting at him. When Kuro stopped to hit him with his sword again, Bionicat pulled the green axe out of his head, & used it to counter Kuro's strike. The two traded blows with their weapons until Kuro grabbed the axe & took it back, now fighting Bionicat with both weapons. Eventually the robot cat delivered a solid punch to Kuro's face, knocking the cyborg off of his feet. Bionicat ran up to Kuro & started delivering consecutive punches to the cyborg's face. Suddenly, Kuro's tail split open, revealing a missile.
Kuro: Graaaah!
The missile was fired from his tail, hitting Bionicat & blowing him away. The robot landed on his feet, but Kuro immediately ran up to him, his right hand equipped with a drill. He jabbed the drill into Bionicat's head, & started drilling, sending sparks & steel specks flying everywhere. Bionicat started to spaz out, & his eyes heavily glitched. Eventually, the robot cat grabbed Kuro by the tail & threw him off before charging up a large fireball & launching it at the cyborg, creating a fiery explosion that sent scraps of fur flying in every direction. Bionicat looked into the scorching flames he'd made, wondering if anything of his opponent remained. He saw something stir, then saw Kuro stand up, all his skin burnt off, revealing his metallic body.
Kuro: You really expected that to work didn't you?
Kuro pulled out two machine guns & started firing at Bionicat, filling him with holes. He then pulled out his club & knocked the robot into the air. He jumped after them as he pulled out his electric gauntlets & delivered a flurry of punches that created explosions of electricity on impact. Bionicat continued to spaz as Kuro kicked him into the ground & fired a barrage of missiles at the robot.
Kuro landed on the ground, which was now littered with steel pieces. He looked into the smoke of his explosions to see if anything remained of his opponent. The smoke cleared, & all that could be seen was a smoldering hunk of metal.
K.O.!
Results[]
Boomstick: Well, that was contrary to the polls.
Vrokorta: Yeah, but it was pretty obvious.
Wiz: Indeed, Kuro took pretty much every advantage in this fight.
Sphere Robot: For starters, Kuro had an obvious arsenal advantage, wielding all sorts of weapons & firearms while Bionicat only had martial arts & fireballs.
Boomstick: Not to mention speed. The best speed Bionicat has comes from assuming he's as fast as a real cat, which is 50kph. Kuro could dodge bullets, missiles, & electricity, which put him at 14,418kph, 288x faster than Bionicat!
Wiz: Kuro also takes experience & intelligence by a long-shot. He's fought opponents varying from other robot cats, demons, mutant dogs, & aliens. Heck, Bionicat is an inferior version of one of Kuro's more common enemies. Remember the robot cats Kuro pwned right after becoming a cyborg? Those guys are just like Bionicat, but smaller, more weaponized, & stronger since they survived a 31 ton explosion. He's also smart enough to work with machinery, wield all of the aforementioned weapons, & strategize against enemies.
Sphere Robot: Bionicat was bigger & heavier, but Kuro's had no trouble fighting bigger opponents in the past, whether they're slightly bigger, or greatly bigger. Not to mention weight hardly plays a part in this. Bionicat may be strong enough to send almost half a tonne of steel flying with one punch, but Kuro could lift a train, & has strength comparable to a guy that pulled a nearly 3000 tonne vehicle back together, that's 6000x stronger than Bionicat.
Boomstick: But what about strength & durability? Could Kuro top Bionicat's 40,000 Joules?
Vrokorta: The answer to that is yes, 100x over, yes. The thing is, 40,000 Joules isn't all that impressive. In the tiering system, it'd only make you Wall level. Kuro on the other hand, could blow up city blocks, overpower very durable characters, collapse buildings, & survive a steel castle being blown up, which would require 400 Tons of tnt. That's 45 MILLION times stronger than Bionicat!
Sphere Robot: Not to mention that Bionicat's fireballs, the only thing giving him any variety in this fight, could be resisted by Kuro, who's resisted heats equivalent to 3000 degrees Celsius.
Wiz: You can't even argue that Bionicat has superior hand-to-hand combat because Kuro is skilled in that area as well. He had to do something before he was a cyborg after all.
Boomstick: But what about Kuro's weaknesses?
Vrokorta: Well, while it is possible for Kuro to run out of fuel, this doesn't happen often. Even when it does, Kuro usually finds a way to refuel himself anyways. If he's ever to lose his weapons or run out of ammo, he can just switch to another, or resort to melee combat, nothing that'll prove too difficult for him. And it's unlikely that Bionicat will force Kuro into a magnet or body of water to weaken him, so Bionicat had no way to take advantage of Kuro's weaknesses.
Sphere Robot: Kuro didn't even need his tank or Wild form to win this fight.
Boomstick: I guess the cyborg cat's out of the bag.
Wiz: The winner is-
Boomstick: What's the matter Bionicat? Steel cat got your tongue?
Wiz: That wasn't even clever. The winner is Kuro.
Advantages/Disadvantages[]
Bionicat[]
+Superior melee combat skill
-Fireballs were negated by Kuro's heat resistance
--Almost no variety in moveset
--FAR weaker
--MUCH slower
-Less intelligent
--FAR less experienced
Kuro[]
++FAR stronger & more durable
++FAR faster
+Better fighter
+Smarter
++More & better experience
++FAR more versatile
+Heat resistance negated Bionicat's fireballs
-Inferior melee combat
-Could run out of fuel if the fight dragged on long enough
-Limited ammo
Next Time[]
Bowser Jr. is seen walking through Crisis City, when a metal spike was tossed in his direction. He turned around to see Silver the Hedgehog flying over him.
Previous: Blast(Epic Boss Fighter) vs Godzilla
Trivia[]
- Bionicat would fit REALLY well in the Cyborg Kuro-chan universe. He's got the right proportions, fits the theme, all he's missing is a compelling backstory & motivation.