Bugs Bunny vs Godzilla is a What-If? Death Battle written by Christian Higdon
Warner Bros vs Toho! America fights Japan once more as two well-known, overpowered, and easily recognizable icons fight it out.
Wiz: Fiction has a lot of characters, whether they be skeletons with bones and laser blasting skulls, heroes who wield a key as a sword, or a gun-toting secret agent. They can be in only one of two regions. Either the funny and mischevous American side, or the dark and crafty Japanese side.
Boomstick: And these two rose up to the top and proved that anything can be good enough if enough effort and love is put into it. But which overpowered and well-known hero would take the crown? Bugs Bunny, the carrot munching wabbit of the Looney Tunes.
Wiz: And Godzilla, the King of all Monsters. Now, to make this fair, we will NOT be using Word of God, where Godzilla can kill Yog-Sothoth. If we did, Bugs Bunny would get hoplessly smashed.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'M BOOMSTICK!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their armours, weapons, and suits to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Wiz: The forest, a peaceful land to go when you want to go hiking, camping, or hunting if you so please. But, those who do want to go hunting in the woods always risk the chance of running into a certain cartoon rabbit...
Boomstick: His name is Bugs Bunny, and if you run into him, you can consider your hunting career over!
Wiz: Nobody knows where this mysterious rabbit came from, but when he sets his mind to something, he will go to the most bizarre lengths to drive his challenger looney, all while having as much fun as possible, resulting in crazy, and wacky shenanigans, which almost always results in Bugs Bunny humiliating his challengers.
Boomstick: Bugs has been through a lot of s**t in his days. He's fought in World War 2, he's saved Earth dozens of times, and once he even teamed up with Garfield, Michelangelo, Alvin and The Chipmunks, Those DuckTales kids, The Muppet Babies, Winnie The Pooh, Slimer, The Smurfs, and ... ALF for some reason, all to get this one kid off drugs! Like, holy s**t! If I knew all I had to do to meet my childhood icons was smoke a joint I'd have started years ago!
Wiz: Probably not the message Bugs was trying to get across Boomstick.
Boomstick: Jocelyn, fetch me my bong! I'm gonna get Bugs Bunny over here so he can personally tell us about all of his adventures! It's gonna be the best Death Battle ever!
Wiz: You're an idiot Boomstick.
Boomstick: Alright fine, no bongs at work I get it. Anyways, despite how scrawny and small this fella is, he packs a serious punch!
Wiz: Bugs has proven himself strong enough to twist a double barrel shot gun with his bear hands, effortlessly bending metal, and that's just one of his lesser feats. Bugs can send people flying with his kicks, he can create a shock wave by slamming a guitar on the ground, and he once even grabbed a large robot triceratops by the tail and swung it down upon Daffy Duck. The robot itself seemed to be twice as big as Bugs himself, so for him to easily lift and toss it, it would require a lot of muscle.
Boomstick: Also let's not forget that this bunny loves to dig around underground. He's always digging through miles upon miles of rock and dirt, and sometimes even concrete and bricks, using nothing but his two hands. Jesus, how does this dude not have bleeding fingers like all the time?
Wiz: Perhaps Bugs Bunny's gloves help him on that front, as the gloves also seem to not only be unaffected by a gun shot, but it can also repel the shot back into the gun, and cause the gun to back fire. It's completely illogical, and while I'd love to bring logic into this, it's just not going to happen. After all, this is a cartoon we're talking about.
Boomstick: Anyways, the stuff this rabbit survives ranges from impressive to F**KING LUDICROUS! One moment he's tanking shotgun blasts to the head, the next? He's surviving the explosion of a moon!
Wiz: Well, not the whole moon, just enough to leave it as a crescent moon. Still, this is insanely impressive considering it didn't even leave so much as a scratch on the ol' hare. Aside from that explosion he has slugged through many other explosions at close range, and he once even survived being flung from Marvin the Martian's space ship all the way to another planet, and he was no worse to wear.
Boomstick: Not to mention that this rabbit has even gotten up close and personal with the sun! Wiz, math that!
Wiz: The Sun is about 5,778 K, so for Bugs Bunny to even get close to it, he'd have to be feeling heats of that range. However he didn't burn at all! Which means it's likely he can survive even greater heats.
Boomstick: If the sun can't even cool him down, then why the hell does he stroll around in the snow bare a** naked!?
Wiz: This is a cartoon, remember, Boomstick? No logic.
Boomstick: Oh yeah, well speaking of no logic Bugs Bunny is apparently fast enough to outrun a f**king laser! How the f**k can someone even do that!?
Wiz: This could've just been an act of toon force, which we'll get to shortly. Regardless Bugs Bunny is still inhumanly fast. He can burrow around the world at amazing speeds, dodge gunfire on a daily basis, and even throw a baseball, run to the other end, and catch it. He once even used his speed to win a whole baseball game all by himself, playing as every member of his team.
Boomstick: Wait, wait, wait. If Bugs could do that, then in Space Jam why the heck didn't he just win the basketball tournament by himself!? He didn't need Michael Jordan!
Wiz: If he did that, then he wouldn't be able to sell us his merchandise.
Boomstick: Oh I guess I get it. As a cartoon character Bugs Bunny can control the very laws of physics! He can pull s**t out of nowhere, he can stretch his f**king hands, he can talk underwater and in space, he can saw off countries with a standard saw, he can walk on walls, throw gravity defying baseballs, and even invade your f**king dreams! Seriously!? I can't even escape this guy when I'm asleep!?
Wiz: Yep, good look getting rid of this guy, and good luck trying to get the drop on him. He knows when he's being watched due to some innate sense of danger. Also, despite not wearing pants he has pockets...
Boomstick: What did he do? Cut a hole in his fur or something?
Wiz: Considering how wacky Bugs is I wouldn't be surprised if that was the truth. Anyways Bugs can also hide in peoples clothes despite them wearing it, he can hop into his computer to enter cyber space, he can take people to realities where they never existed to show them how important they are ala It's a Wonderful Life, and he has even shown himself to be capable of firing lightning, under the role of Jove.
Boomstick: How the f**k did that happen!?
Wiz: The magic of cartoons, Boomstick, the magic of cartoons.
Boomstick: More like the magic of being high off your a**. Well anyways as we mentioned a little bit ago, Bugs can burrow underground to get himself wherever he wants. He can go to places fast, and somehow it can take him to places like the f**king moon! Although he usually isn't that good at directing where he wants to travel. He always somehow misses that left turn at Albuquerque.
Wiz: Also see those ears? Well they're not just for hearing. They act as a pair of eyes on their own, and he can even use them to fly if need be. These ears also act like arms, able to catch things that are about to hit Bugs before they can actually land a blow.
Boomstick: If Bugs gets fed up with the animator at hand, he could actually break their art supplies, and if he really wanted he could escape into the real world, and manipulate the cartoon for himself, becoming an animator all on his own. Hell, he can even change the f**king script if he wanted to! And if he's about to come to a gruesome end, he can just end the film!
Wiz: There is a saying. "Animators don't draw Bugs, they draw pictures OF Bugs"
Boomstick: If there is one thing you could say about Bugs, it's that he's very clever.
Wiz: Just like me, Bugs prefers to use his brain in combat over his brawn. He's been outwitting people since he was a baby, and he's an expert at it. Bugs always stays a step ahead of his enemies and has shown excellence at rigging up traps, and making people's weapons backfire on themselves. He's proven himself to be educated in all manner of categories, and he's even shown to be able to rewire robots and turn them against their very masters.
Boomstick: He's also very manipulative, usually tricking people into charging into him like a bull, and has had a tendency to make his victims act like a complete moron. Also while his whole "Duck Season, Rabbit Season" bit seems like it could only work on a dumba**, it actually has worked on intelligent superheros, like f**king BATMAN! That's right, the ol' Dark Knight himself fell for that trick and he payed the price of a blast to the face.
Wiz: Bugs is no slouch in the fighting department either. He's a skilled swordsman and marksman, having grace and accuracy. He even has shown himself to be very adept at wrestling as well.
Boomstick: Also this Bunny has some magic to! By saying s**t like Abracadabra, and Hocus Pocus, he can turn people into whatever the hell it is that he wants. Although he doesn't have a complete grip on these magical abilities, and is kind of sloppy with it. But then there's his form Super Rabbit. He's pretty much untouchable in this state, and nothing seems to harm him all that much. He's also probably as fast as Stupor Duck, which is Daffy Duck's alter ego. This form is so fast that he can fly around the planet and go back in time! Kind of like a combination of his time machine and his Roadrunner Vitamins.
Wiz: He even has a bomb capable of one-shotting the extremely powerful, Validus, whose power could either be star level, solar system level, or universe level. We're not sure which since, well, he haven't ever had to cover Validus before.
Boomstick: I wonder, has Superman ever confronted Bugs about stealing his whole costume? I feel like Superman should call his Super Lawyers, and sue for using his likeness.
Wiz: Even if he did my best guess would be that the judge would turn out to be Bugs, wearing a beard. But even Bugs has his own weaknesses. We touched on this before but, Bugs has quite a temper. Whenever faced with someone who is just as, if not more skilled then he is, he'll start to loose his focus and his intelligence will suffer for that. Not only that but Bugs isn't really a fighter, he's a schemer. He likes to think ahead and plan out tricks to deceive people, which can cause trouble if he has to come face to face with an opponent he can't predict, and won't know for certain will fall for his traps.
Boomstick: Also when it comes to outsmarting people, let's be honest, Bugs has been dealing with complete morons his whole life. We're talkin' about people who can't tell a rabbit from a duck, people who dance off cliffs, and people who don't look up to notice they're about to fire their own weapon into their face! Not helping here is that Bugs is actually kind of cocky, usually laughing and calling his opponent a maroon before he's even gotten rid of them!
Wiz: Also, while Bugs is great at dishing out insanity upon his victims, he isn't very good at getting a taste of his own medicine, and has been driven insane by enemies he couldn't handle. Also, he's been known to fall for attractive rabbits even if they're obvious fakes, and he cannot resist a good carrot, even falling into traps for them.
Boomstick: It's like a f**king addiction! He can also be mind controlled, and it's speculated that a good ol' decapitation could do Bugs in, since he dreads the thought of it, and cringes upon seeing it happen to Daffy, who was killed by decapitation.
Wiz: Yeesh, that's pretty dark for Looney Tunes huh?
Bugs Bunny: Well, like the man says, "Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive." Hehehehe.
Wiz: The two nuclear bombs dropped on Japan in 1944 were one of the most destructive even that ever happened on the country.
Boomstick: But little they knew, this was just the beginning, the creation of a monster. The one born form the Nuclear Warfare, Godzilla!
Wiz: Godzilla is a huge reptilian creature, weighing up to 90,000 tons and being over 100 meters high.
Boomstick: That guy is a powerhouse, he is much stronger than his already insane size would normally allows him to have. He can easily lift and throw being bigger than him.
Wiz: His immense bulk lets him destroy building in his way very easily or defeats giant monsters even bigger than himself.
Boomstick: His durability is also ridiculous! His whole body is able to regenerate lost tissues form injuries, he is immune to any modern weaponry and he is able to even survive a meteor blast to the face!
Wiz: Godzilla is a radioactive creature, thus it will leaves everything it walks to contaminated. This is due to the fact that he actually feeds off radioactivity.
Boomstick: This quite nuclear side to him also gives him access to a NUCLEAR LASER BEAM!
Wiz:...Actually Godzilla concentrate so much nuclear energy that it comes out as a nuclear breathe so strong, it will melt everything in its way and can even makes him flies!
'Boomstick:...I almost forgot about that one...b'ut he's got much more than a beam. He is able to emits a short-range shockwaves to shocks opponent to close to him, or even metal bends with Magnetic Powers!
Wiz: He is able to survive in outer space, at the bottom of the sea and is able to destroy a miniature black hole.
Boomstick: He has multiple powerful forms! Such as Super Godzilla, which multiplies every aspect of him by 2000X+.
Wiz: His Burning form has the Super Red Spiral Ray as his default weapon, and when he explodes it is as powerful as the Big Bang.
Boomstick: Finally, he can unlock his Keizer form at will, this form has absolutely infinite, multiversal power and has the f**king Hyper Spiral Ray!
Wiz: Not to mention he has soul manipulating capabilities, extreme offensive telepathy, kinetic powers and-
Boomstick: And the ability to f**king cause suicide by his mere presence!
Wiz: Despite that, he's not invincible.
Boomstick: Even with all of these strength, Godzilla still suffers from being quite clumsy and being quite slow due to his size.
Wiz: Even so, Godzilla has managed to go through most of the hardship brought to him, and he has kept the title of King of the Monsters for 50 years!
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENHUTNHKRNKKRJNHBKORMGHMRMK
Japan, 11:05 AM
It was a good day in Tokyo. Girls walking around, boys getting attractions, and the trees flowing around as usual. Nothing could go wrong, except for one major thing. In the distance, in the vastness of the water, some spines came up rising. A beast of insane power then rose up from the tides. Godzilla had arrived. He came into Tokyo to wreak more havoc, and then, everyone started to panic.
People were screaming in fear, and running as far as their legs could carry them. "Hey, hey, why's everyone runnin? Was it somethin i said?" A certain someone said. He was tall, had long ears, had grey fur, and had two buck teeth pointing out. This was Bugs Bunny. Bugs then looked up and saw the cause of the panic. Godzilla and Bugs then locked eyes, with Goji's eyes showing bloodlust, and Bugs' eyes showing innocence. "What's up, do-" was all he could say before the king stepped on him.
(Cue ~ Brandon Yates - Crash and Burn)
Bugs Bunny looked as flat as a pancake. "Of course, you realize, this means war." He quipped. Godzilla then saw Bugs reinflate like a balloon, and decided to end him off. The wabbit, realizing this, decided to ruin Godzilla's day. He jumped up to where the kaiju could clearly observe him. Somehow, Bugs had enough strength to punt Godzilla into the next building. Godzilla, angered by this charged at Bugs.
Bugs made the first move and slapped Godzilla on the nose. Nothing happened, though, as Godzilla then shook him off. Bugs Bunny fell down onto the floor, and was barely hurt. Godzilla then charged at Bugs, but somehow, the wabbit lifted his foot over, and tipped Godzilla over onto the floor. Taking advantage of this, Bugs then started to toss bombs. These were anything but normal bombs though. They were ACME bombs. Once they blew up, Godzilla was launched into the sky. He fell, but then used his Atomic Breath on Bugs. Not only did it burn him, but it helped Godzilla fly.
Bugs was charred, his eyes in a wide expression. He held up a sign saying "Roast Wabbit 4 Free or Bust!" As he put away the sign, Bugs then shook his head, and healed his wounds. He grabbed two carrots, and then threw them like javelines. Both of them hit the king dead on in the chest. Somehow, the carrots stabbed through his skin, causing him to bleed out. Godzilla ripped out the carrot, and let his regeneration do it's work.
Bugs Bunny then jumped as high as Gojira, and then jumped on his head. He started pummeling the kaiju's head with a hammer, but Godzilla felt nothing, and shook Bugs off his head again, before blasting Bugs out of the air with his Atomic Breath. Well, he would've if Bugs hadn't pulled out a mirror. The mirror deflected the Atomic Breath right back at Godzilla's face, and it tumbled him backwards. He slipped on a resteraunt and toppled over.
(Cue ~ Epic Music - Dues Ex Machina)
Bugs Bunny then decided he was done playing the small game. For some odd and crazy reason, he managed to grow in size. He grew and grew until he was as big as his monster opponent. When Godzilla got back up, he saw Bugs Bunny, but he was different. He was far taller, far stronger, and far faster. Bugs Bunny had become a monster, though his appearance didn't change. "Time to play with the big boys." Bugs smartly muttered. Godzilla instantly got up and then, in a burst of light, changed his look. His skin was purple, his spikes were sharper, his eyes were filled with hate, and his entire physical appearance severely changed. This was Super Godzilla.
Both Bugs Bunny and Super Godzilla charged, but while Super Godzilla went to bite him on the neck, Bugs went up and personal and punched Super Godzilla straight in the face. "POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSA!" Bugs shouted. The super-powered kaiju was barely phased, and then whacked Bugs around with his tail, shooting a ray out of it every time he got a hit in. Needless to say, it hurt a lot. Bugs then stopped the tail before it could hit him again, and started swinging Super Godzilla by the tail, sort of like Super Mario 64. He tossed the king like a ragdoll, and when he came back down, Bugs punted him across the entire state.
(Cue ~ Two Steps from Hell - Moving Mountains at 0:34)
Super Godzilla got up, and then transformed once more. He looked like his normal appearance, but had far more power. He had infinite power, omnipotence if you will, and was ready to end Bugs off. This was Keizer Godzilla. Bugs then shrinked back to his normal size. He then ate a carrot, but this wasn't an ordinary carrot. He transformed into a being of immense power. He donned a cape, red and blue clothes, and could fly. This was the Super Rabbit. "Your days of terrorizing the world are over, doc!" He said.
(Cue ~ One Punch Man OST - Main Theme)
Super Rabbit then grabbed Keizer Godzilla by the neck, but he wasn't hurt. So the hero did the only thing he could think of (or at least the only thing he wanted to do). He started flying up into space, with Keizer Godzilla trying to kill him by repeatedly shooting his Hyper Spiral Ray. The bad news, though, was that that only launched them both further. Super Rabbit then punched Keizer Godzilla into Mars. Closer he went to Mars, until...
The red planet was destroyed. Before Keizer Godzilla could reach to the end of the universe though, something erased his arm. Then his leg, then his tail. Soon enough, only his head remained. Keizer Godzilla then roared out in defiance and rage one last time, before his head was erased. Godzilla as a whole was erased from existence.
Then it showed a piece of paper revealing the battlefield of space drawn on it. Soon, Bugs was shown with a pencil. He had one last thing to say. "Hehe, ain't i a stinker?"
Boomstick: Dear Christian Higdon, why is it that ALL OF YOUR FIGHTS ARE TOO MUCH QUALITY!?
Wiz: Indeed. While Godzilla was a tad bit stronger, and had more forms, that's all he had going for him. Bugs had him outdone everywhere.
Boomstick: In strength, Bugs may have fought in World War 2, but Godzilla has taken out Olympian Gods before, and he had far more forms, like Super Godzilla and Keizer Godzilla. Sadly, like Wiz said though, the wabbit had him outdone. In speed, Bugs Bunny is able to catch up with Roadrunner, who can run so fast, he can run through a painting of a cave hole like an actual cave.
Wiz: In durability, Godzilla can take a black hole, but Bugs can take far more, like say THE HEAT OF THE SUN! That's far more deadly. If that doesn't convince you, one dead star is actually a supernova. Far above a black hole.
Boomstick: That's not to mention the insane amount of toonforce Bugs has over Godzilla. Intelligence was a no-brainer as well. Bugs Bunny easily out-wits Godzilla in any way. I don't really need to explain why. So, while Godzilla had the advantages in strength and forms, Bugs Bunny had speed, durability, toonforce, and intelligence. Godzilla's chances of victory really spaced out.
Wiz: The winner is Bugs Bunny.
Advantages and Disadvantages
Next Time and Disclaimer
Christian: NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE! Actually, before i show you, i just have to say something. So, i'm a Godzilla fan like some who could be reading this. In fact, he's my #1 Favorite Fictional Character! So, why did i make him lose?
Well, besides not using the Word of God feats. Well, I had to push that bias aside. Look, i love Godzilla, and if this entire website was like SUPER POWER BEAT DOWN, i would've had Godzilla win. But don't worry. The King of Monsters will return someday, maybe even sooner than you think. In fact, i already have his next opponent planned. So, now, next up is....
The Lords of Darkness need to talk.