|Danny Phantom vs Jake Long|
|Season ?, Episode ??|
Nickolodeon vs Disney! Which teen hero has what it takes!?!? Ghost or Dragon!?!? Can Danny go for the win, or will the American Dragon up the ante!?!?
Wiz: Adolescence. An awkward point in someone's life where a child becomes more exposed to the adult world.
Boomstick: Puberty man. Some get zits and grow hair in weird places, others get tails, wings and cool ghost powers! What? You didn't get superpowers when you were a teen?
Wiz: Danny Phantom. Half-boy, Half ghost.
Boomstick: And Jake Long, the American Dragon! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their strengths, feats and weaknesses to see who would win a Death Battle.....
(Cue: Nicktoons Unite: Going Ghost)
Wiz: As a fourteen year old student, all Danny Fenton wanted was a normal, successful life. Get good grades in school, ask his crush on a date, and earn the respect of most of his peers.
Boomstick: Buuuut Danny was constantly bullied by the school jock, sucked at learning, and his only friends were a goth and a computer geek.
Wiz: His ghost hunter parents didn't exactly help his reputation.
Boomstick: I don't see what's to complain about there. I wish MY parents were Ghost Busters with cool tech! Who the hell pays them anyway? Sign me up!
Wiz: Problem for whoever funded them was that no one really believed in ghosts because... there were no ghosts around. These spirits were located in an alternate reality called the Ghost Zone.
Boomstick: Aw man, and I was really looking forward to what hell looked like!
Wiz: Well you still might, not all of the ghosts in the Ghost Zone are disembodied spirits as they are representations of older time periods and different types of people, including wardens, bounty hunters and... box enthusiasts.
Box Ghost: I am the Box Ghost! Beware!
Boomstick: Why is that surprising? I know a wet Kleenex ghost who comes to my place every other...
Wiz: Anyways, Danny's parents built a portal to travel into this reality and discover this vast world of scientific possibilities, but after one test run thought it didn't work and gave up.
Boomstick: But like most teenage superhero origin stories, Danny just couldn't let it go and decides to walk in and he accidentally touches the ONE thing that should kill him.. but doesn't. Well ok it KINDA killed him.
(Cue: Danny Phantom Theme)
Wiz: Danny's DNA was fused with ectoplasm, a substance comprised of spiritual energy formed by mediums in a trance state. As a result he had the ability to transform into a ghost himself with the inverted colors of his hair and the suit he wore inside. While he was afraid to use these newfound powers at first, the now active portal allowed the ghosts to exit the Ghost Zone whenever they pleased. While hiding his true identity from everyone but his two friends, Danny decided that he would protect the residents of Amity Park as the superhero, Danny Phantom.
Danny: I'm going ghost!
Boomstick: What kind of secret identity is that? If he's so worried about his parents and classmates finding out that he's a ghost, then why is his superhero name his actual f***ing name? That's like if Batman was called Bruceman, or BatWayne!
Wiz: Bad naming aside, Danny gained a number of superhuman abilities thanks to his exposure to the Ghost Zone. When he transforms he can use his ectoplasmic DNA to form large shields that can deflect projectiles, repulse enemies, amplify his strength, and produce powerful energy blasts that produce thermal and explosive results powerful enough to melt metal. He typically shoots this from his fingertips, palms of his hands...
Boomstick: And his ass! No seriously, he can shoot it out of his ass. Anyways Danny's a total beast in ghost mode, as he can lift between 10-30 tons, fly over 100 miles per hour, and has enhanced durability, reflexes, a healing factor, and can manipulate his body in a number of ways to avoid attacks or look weirder than Mr. Fantastic in bed my ex-wife. He can dodge powerful punches and also take em too, and if one Danny wasn't enough, he can also briefly duplicate himself.
Wiz: Though he has yet to master that ability and can usually only do it for a couple of seconds. But he has more than speed and body manipulation to avoid attacks. He can also turn his body invisible to the human eye and become intangible, which allows him to walk through walls, disappear, and fly off to wherever he needs to be. He can also possess any nearby person or animal in a technique called overshadowing, allowing them to do his bidding like hurting or humiliating themself.
Boomstick: And for some reason it could also allow him to go inside video games and possess his own avatar. Imagine what it's like torturing those damn Sims firsthand!
Wiz: ...this intangibility is Danny's preferred way of dodging powerful attacks, but he can only do it for so long, and his invisibility can be compromised against infrared vision.
Boomstick: Oh, and because the writers didn't think he had ENOUGH cool moves, they decide to give him ice powers. Because you know, that's the first thing you think of when it comes to ghosts! He can encase enemies in ice, build cold shields to protect him from fire attacks, and it acts as his Spider Sense if ghosts are nearby.
Wiz: While Danny has had access to a number of his father's ghostly weapons, the only one he uses on a consistent basis is the Fenton Thermos.
Boomstick: Rather than storing one hell of a clam chowder, this lunchbox accessory is used to trap ghosts for Danny to take back to the Ghost Zone. Once they get caught there's no escaping it, but Danny can be just as likely to get sucked in if he's not careful or his opponent knows what to do with it.
Wiz: But these attacks pale in comparison to his ultimate technique, the Ghostly Wail. (cue demonstration clip) This allows him to emit a Sonic Scream devastating enough to knockout ghosts and humans, shatter glass, eardrums, and a shield large enough to cover a whole city.
Boomstick: Sure let's rip off Black Canary while we're at it too!
Wiz: But it does come at the cost of weakening him for the rest of the fight and he'll mainly use this as a last resort.
(Cue: Danny Phantom Unused intro)
Boomstick: Well original or not, Danny's accomplished a number of impressive feats, including outflying a space shuttle, surviving atmospheric re-entry, freezing a giant plant monster that took over the whole city, and defeating a number of impressive ghosts, including decorated bounty hunters, skilled overlords with bad haircuts, giant pissed off dragons, and a future, evil version of himself. And no, that's not the only time paradox on this show...
Wiz: For being sixteen and self-taught, Danny's a very skilled fighter and tactician, but can get occasionally get overconfident and underestimate what his enemies are capable of. He's weak to his parents' ecto-ranium weapons that neutralizes his energy. Even if these don't appear in a fight, should Danny be overpowered by another foe or use up too much of his energy, he turns back into a powerless human and has to wait a short time before he can go ghost again, providing his opponent a good opportunity to end him.
Boomstick: But hey, if he can save the planet from a giant asteroid, and survive fights with ghost knights, reality warpers, and his ex-girlfriend, then you should watch your back, dead or alive!
Danny: Hey! Giant, green, and gruesome! Guess who's back and better than ever!
(Cue: Dragon Road White World)
Wiz: Long ago, humans and magical creatures co-existed in peace for centuries. But as time went on, the humans conquered lands for themselves and grew in power, severing their relationship with the beings of the magical world.
Boomstick: I learned this in history once, I think those magical creatures were called... Native Americans!
Wiz: (Sigh...) Anyways these creatures consisting of mermaids, vampires, unicorns, basically anything you see kids wearing on Halloween.
Boomstick: Does that include Native Americans?
Wiz: The council of the Magical World designated the most powerful beings to be their protectors, dragons. Not only for their supreme physical prowess, but their ability to blend into the human world as they can shapeshift between human and dragon form. Centuries later in modern day New York a new protector came into the world, and his name was Jake Long.
Boomstick: Who's probably the whitest Asian American kid you've ever seen.
Jake: NYC what? How ya doin', my name's Jake and I'm in the hulla, volcanos hot and Jakey-jake's coola and that's the way you hubba hunna Hulla.
Wiz: Jake was the grandson of Luong Lao Shi, the Chinese Dragon, and comes from a long line of dragon heritage along with his sister, his mom on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. At age 13 Jake fully developed the ability to transform into a red beast and was destined to become the American Dragon. While he focused on protecting the magical beings of New York, he would eventually have to use his abilities to protect those of the entire country.
Boomstick: Wait a sec, so if the dragons are each assigned to protect a whole country and sometimes interfere with human issues that affect the magic world... then where the hell Korea's dragon at?
Wiz:... she's teaching economics at Jake's school and training his younger sister.
Boomstick: Well I guess as long as Kim Jong Un isn't shoving a nuke up a leprechaun's ass, then she's got NOTHING to worry about her home...
Wiz: Ahem, Jake's grandfather and talking dog, Fu, began training him to master his powers while he hid his secret identity from everyone but his friends and family... except his dad.
Boomstick: Yeah, no matter what reaction you see from him when you tell your dad he was in bed with a dragon's little girl, it's bound to be a LITTLE fucked up...
Wiz: However, most of the time Jake found the responsibility too much to bear as he'd rather go skating with his friends and try and ask out his crush Rose. Who is actually a part of a clan determined to kill every dragon, evil girlfriends just come with the whole teen hero schtick I guess. Jake's had to deal with both magical and human beings that threatened the existence of living beings, forcing him to transform into a dragon in the ideal situations.
Jake: Dragon Up!
Boomstick: While in this form, Jake can fly at superhuman speeds, lift between 5-25 tons, break through concrete and steel, and can use parts you'd normally not find on your average guy, like fangs, a large tail, wings, and sharp, sweet claws. Not only can they make some great cuts on the enemy, but if they're not used to it than more points to Jake for unpredictability.
Wiz: Jake is highly durable and nearly fireproof, sustaining a number of injuries no human could survive. He can also breath fire or project fireballs himself for long distance attacks. He can amplify his abilities in both forms by calling out the body part of the dragon he needs.
Jake: Ear of the Dragon!
Wiz: With these enhanced body parts, he has superhuman hearing, agility, reflexes, and possesses infared vision.
Boomstick: If he needs a good distraction he can project his personal chi to create a doppelganger. While this sounds great for multitasking and distractions, Jake doesn't really use it that much since it decreases his power with every clone he does.
Wiz: Taking on foes in the real world and magical community, Jake's beaten a number of notable foes, he won a wrestling tournament against a giant, can lift multiple magical creatures and mine carts with ease, is able to fly across whole cities in a quick time, fought Stitch to a draw, stopped the Huntsclan, and helped defeat the most powerful dragon in the realm, the Dark Dragon.
Boomstick: If that wasn't impressive enough, he can apparently damage ghosts that would otherwise be immune to human contact as he took on a whole gang of Civil War baddies. But despite all the magical asses he's kicked, he's extremely cocky, stubborn, and most times tries to find an easy way out, and is likely to taunt before coming up with a plan.
Wiz: Also, Jake has a few physical weak spots in odd places. He is said to have a soft underbelly, and a clean strike onto his left ear can kill him.
Boomstick: So a strike to the left ear is like a kick to the balls?
Wiz: If that kick is strong enough to kill you, then yes. Regardless, Jake shows no sign of slowing down to fulfill his duty of protecting his country... as long as he gets good grades.
Jake: Awww man!
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLE!
(Cue: MvC3 Metro City Theme)
In a large city at night, Jake Long is seen skateboarding on the street.
Jake: Aw man, nothing to do around here, that freak Gramps sent me here to find STILL hasn't showed up yet...
Elsewhere, Danny Fenton is seen walking and then notices his watch.
Danny: Shoot! If I miss my curfew again I'll be lucky to even leave the house at this point! Wait, what am I doing WALKING home? Going ghost!
He transforms into Danny Phantom and starts flying high in the air at high speeds. From a far distance, Jake notices the black and white spectre in the sky.
Jake: Finally! Time for a midnight smack. Dragon up!
In a burst of flame, Jake transforms into the American Dragon and speeds towards Danny, he launches a large fireball at him.
Danny: Is it me or is the city suddenly 50 degrees warm... WOAH!
Danny barely avoids the flameball and notices a little fire on his hair, which he simply pinches his hair to extinguish. Jake then flies in front of him.
Jake: Sorry, but only room for one manly, awesome superpowered gun show in the sky!
Danny: Well seeing you I don't see how I'm breaking that... wait a second. Ghost senses aren't going off. That means... you're real?
Jake: The one and only baby, I'm the American Dragon!
Danny: Let's see, egotistical, unwilling to share, bad haircut, could stand to lose a few pounds, honestly I'm seeing the American more than the Dragon.
Jake: Oh real funny My Chemical Romance! I've heard reports of you causing all sorts of trouble for the town, and I'm here to end it. It's kind of my jam.
Danny: Being a pain in my see through butt is more of your jam. Out of my way Dragon Dork. If you won't move, (eyes glow green) I'll make you.(cue: Daily Bugle Marvel vs Capcom 3)Jake: Watch it ghost geek! Time to get busted!
Danny charges towards Jake with a ecto charged punch, but Jake dodges the attack and knocks Danny into a building by swinging his tail around, and then kicks Danny when he's cornered.
Danny: Not bad for a rookie, reptile. But you can't hit something you can't see!
Danny goes invisible and phases out of Jake's foot. Jake backs up to see where his opponent went to, but Danny goes visible and punches Jake in the back of the head, when Jake turns around, Danny's gone and gets kicked in the back. He then feels something grab his tail that tosses him into the ground near a park. Jake gets up and readjusts his footing.
Jake: You're not bailing that quick! Eye of the Dragon!
Jake's eyes glow red and he sees Danny coming right at him.
Danny experiences Deja vu as Jake hits him with his tail again, then gets Danny in a combo with his claws and tosses him back a couple yards.
Danny: Crap, he can see me?
Jake: Hey Casper, catch this!
Jake then blows a large fireball at Danny, which emits a large explosion when it contacts him. Jake turns around, thinking his opponent's now a pile of dust.
Jake: Seriously? I come all the way out here and that's the fight he gives? What a load of-
Jake then gets hit in the wings with a fireball and is knocked a few yards forward. He gets up and sees that a glowing, green shield is surrounding Danny that disappears once he sees Jake on the ground.
Danny: Superheroing 101, never announce your attack.
Danny then shoots an ice beam from his hands onto Jake's wings, freezing the two together and preventing Jake from flying.
Danny: For that, you're grounded!
Jake: Ugh, can't fly...wait. Sorry, could I get a demonstration again? I'm a bad student!
Jake then blows 5 separate fireballs at Danny. Danny sighs as he deflects them again, expecting them to hit Jake, but Jake ducks down and allows the fireballs to hit his wings. The fire melts the ice and Jake is able to flap his wings again. Danny then slaps his palm into his forehead.
Danny: Duh! Fire beats ice! Even a seven year old playing Pokemon knows that!
Jake then flies up.
Jake: Think one of me is bad enough? Get ready for some Double Dragon!
(cue: MvC3 Hsien Ko theme) Jake concentrates his chi and creates a second American Dragon to his side.
Danny: Pfft, please, like you're the only one who can do that.
Danny struggles a little bit more, but in two seconds a second version of him appears right beside him. The two Phantoms grab hold of one Jake and start dragging the dragon down, but the second Jake grabs one of the Dannys and rips him from his clone, headbutts him, claws him, and then tosses him towards the ground. The Danny then disappears and reunites with the original, still holding onto the Jake clone, who knocks Danny upward to be thrown towards Jake with his mouth wide open, but Danny phases right on time as Jake tries to bite him.
Danny: Ok, I'll give him that he's at least better than me in THAT department. But he felt weaker to me than he did before. Maybe he put some of his power in that clone. In that case...
Danny then flies below the two dragons, but then upwards right into one of them. The dragon clone's eyes start glowing green as Danny successfully possessed him.
Danny: Well that's it! Took down that loser with one bite!
Jake: Aw man, I told you we wouldn't eat him! We don't do that! But, at least he's finally gone. Gimme 5!
Danny starts going for a high five with Jake, but instead slashes on Jake's chest and punches him a few feet forward.
Danny: Down low and too slow Lizard Lips!
Jake: What the? How did you? That's an invasion of privacy weirdo!
Danny: Want me out of your greasy, sluggish body? You're going to have to beat me out of it!
Jake charges forward at full speed, and starts landing a flurry of punches, slashes, and bites on this imposter to the point where he's bloody and beaten to a pulp. He keeps punching his clone's face.
Jake: Get. Out. Of. My. HEAD!
With one final punch, the clone is silenced. Jake starts heavily breathing. (music stops)
Jake: Pounded, not a good look for me.
Danny: You sure about that? Anything over your regular face is an improvement.
Jake looks right behind him in shock to see Danny casually floating without any exhaustion.
Danny: Got out right before you laid the first punch. Stop hitting yourself man!
Jake reabsorbs the clone and feels weaker after a lot of self inflicted pain.
Jake: Not... cool... bro...
Danny: You want cool? I'll show you cool! (cue start of Legendary Battle Emperor Mundus again)
Jake charges up his breath to release a large fireball, but Danny karate chops him in the neck causing Jake to choke on his own fire. Danny then grabs hold of Jake's wings and charges up his ecto energy and punches through Jake's two wings, causing Jake to roar out in pain. Danny then charges up and releases an iceball powerful enough to freeze Jake's entire body.
Danny: You really like hearing the sound of your own voice, don't you? Well, can't blame you if you don't like mine.
Danny then stands back and releases the Ghostly Wail. It breaks the glass off of nearby buildings and shatters the ice sculpture that was formerly Jake Long into dozens of ice shards. Danny then transforms back into his human form.
Danny: Sorry kid, but I'm on a deadline, I didn't want this fight to drag on.
Danny smiles and awkwardly looks around to silence, then looks down and frowns.
Danny: I'll just show myself out now...
In the post battle scene, Jake's ghost emits out of his shattered, frozen corpse, but Danny notices it while walking away and uses the Fenton Thermos to trap Jake's spirit in a tiny cylinder, then continues his walk back home.
(Cue: Danny Phantom Outro)
Boomstick: Anyone in the mood for dragon cocktails?
Wiz: Jake may have been able to rival Danny in strength, endurance, and his infared vision does allow him to see Danny when he's invisible, but he didn't have a way to counter most of Danny's wide variety of ghost powers. Danny's speed, body manipulation, and intangibility gave him plenty of ways to avoid Jake's attacks and his shields, ice powers, and Ghostly Wail provided with opportunities to bring even more pain back.
Boomstick: Jake also didn't possess any of the Fenton ghost equipment to do some major damage to Danny, and even if he did stumble across the Fenton Thermos, he wouldn't know what it does or how to use it. Jake's fast, but he doesn't have a speed feat that tops Danny outflying a possessed space shuttle.
Wiz: Space shuttles can reach speeds over 17000 miles per hour. Even if we were to lowball it to account for acceleration, he still flew hundreds, possibly thousands of miles per hour, which Jake has yet to demonstrate.
Boomstick: Danny's also slightly older than Jake, has more experience and intelligence despite having no Master Splinter, and the only other thing Jake beats Danny in is being overly cocky and underestimating his opponents. But wait, doesn't Jake have the ability to beat transparent ghosts?
Wiz: The ghosts Jake fought were that of the Magical Realm and could not be hit by human hands, but since Jake himself is a magical being, he had the ability to do so. Danny on the other hand was created through a lab accident, and it's not safe to assume he possesses the same properties of the ghosts Jake fought. Besides, the ghosts only had one power of Danny's and Jake only beat them using the episode's plot mcguffin. The ghost dragon Danny fought had nearly all of Jake's powers and the most Danny had to use to beat it was either his fists or a fishing rod. With his insane ghost powers, experience, and intelligence, Danny's the easy choice in this matchup.
Boomstick: Jake didn't stand a ghost of a chance.
Wiz: The winner is Danny Phantom.