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Dark Queen vs Nerissa
DQvsN
Season 4, Episode 8
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Air date June 18, 2015
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Dark Queen vs Nerissa is a What-if Death Battle

Description

Battletoads vs W.I.T.C.H.! Which of these lovely evil ladies will reign as queen?

Interlude

Boomstick: Women will want power to do everything they wish.

Wiz: And these two unpopular magic wielding ladies are no exception.

Boomstick: Well, at least they are both hot, like the Dark Queen, arch enemy of the Battletoads...

Wiz: ...and Nerissa, one of the enemies of W.I.T.C.H.

Boomstick: And to make things exciting, these hot babes will bring their best warriors to the battlefield.

Wiz: As well as they will do their own fighting.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Dark Queen

Wiz: The Dark Queen is a malevolent villain who has been a thorn to the side of the Battletoads since day one.

Boomstick: But at least she is hotter than my ex-wife.

Wiz: But since she is going to have an army in this fight, it is no wonder that her most likely infantry is going to be none other than...

Boomstick: Hell-Scary Rats and Fat-Ass Pigs!

Wiz: Well, the pigs are referred to as the Psyko Pigs, as for the rats, they vary between Swat Rats, Scammies, Frazzles, and Wrenchies.

Boomstick: And when those don't do the job right, that hot bitch brings in the big boys like her trusting General Slaughter, a hot-tempered muscular cattle man thing who can run his foes over making matadors look like such cowards; She also has in her army, Karnath, a big hungry snake monster that can eat toads for breakfast.

Wiz: There is also Big Blag, a sleezy fat rat who can change size a put the stomp on his foes, and even Robo-Manus, a hybrid cyborg who has guns from his mouth and hands to fire at his foes.

Boomstick: Damn, I wish I could do that myself. In the mean time, while there are times when her men are defeated, she doesn't give in that easy when she does her own fighting.

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick; even though the arcade says that she is 6 feet tall, when the toads conront her, her is much taller than the toads, possibly twice as tall; which is possibly done by magic, which enables her to teleport around, and even spin around at fast speeds to create a dark tornado to attack the Battletoads with.

Boomstick: And she does that with out getting a chance to throw up, man that is one hot chic.

Wiz: Anyways, she also uses her staff to unleash exploding skulls with certain proportions, and she also has some pyrokinetic abilities to throw fireballs at her foes and turn into a moving fire portal to appear for her next shooting of fireballs. But even with all that power in her, she was never any close to trying to take over the universe due to the Battletoads stopping her again and again.

Boomstick: But at least she has a certain feat in the Battletoads cartoon, and that's the fact that she was able to overwhelm Zitz and Pimple, she would have done the same to Rash if he wasn't busy with General Slaughter.

Rash: (to the viewers) Works every time!

Wiz: Despite her weakness and feat alike, she will do whatever it takes to defeat the Battletoads and rule the galaxy.

Dark Queen: Very well, you've won this battle, toads; But the war is just beginning. (then she disappears through a portal)

Nerissa

Boomstick: Nerissa is the villain with the looks of Demi Moore who appeared in W.I.T.C.H. as one of the main villains.

Wiz: She was once the holder of the Heart of Kandrakar, but was later confiscated from it due to her corruption of power, which is later given to her fellow member, Cassidy. Then tragedy struck in which she turned on her fellow members and unintentionally killed Cassidy.

Boomstick: Well, better than Cassidy then the hot stuff herself.

Wiz: You don't know what she looks like after 40 years, do you, Boomstick?

Boomstick: What the Hell are you talking about Wiz?

Wiz: This. (shows the haggard version of Nerissa)

Boomstick: Holy Shit! Get that face out of my sight!

Wiz: Don't worry, Boomstick; She got her youth back.

Boomstick: Good, that I can prefer.

Wiz: And that's despite the fact that she has a son named Caleb, who is the trusted ally and companion of W.I.T.C.H.

Boomstick: Wow, even better, she is a MILF!

Wiz: Anyway, we are getting off topic, now for she doesn't usually have her own infantry.

Boomstick: But for this Death Battle to make things fair, We will use her only four soldiers.

Wiz: They are known as the Knights of Destruction; such as Shagon the Hate, assumingly the most powerful of the Knights who can fly and shoots lasers.

Boomstick: Like a Boss!

Wiz: There is also Khor the Destroyer, a feral beast man who feeds on anger. Plus, Ember the Pain, the girl who uses her pyrokinetic powers to burn her foes. And of course, there is Tridart the Despair, the warrior who can freeze opponents in their tracks.

Boomstick: Well, even though it's not much of an army on Nerissa's behalf, at least this Demi Moore ripoff hottie herself is no pushover, because she happens to be a guardian of Quintessence.

Wiz: Quintessence is a type of powerful energy that brings together the four elements between Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water; it can also allow the user to use flight, superhuman strength, speed, agility, teleportation, telepathy and even use electricity on foes.

Boomstick: Now that is an awful lot of power.

Wiz: Nerissa just might be the most cunning of all the villains in W.I.T.C.H.

Nerissa: One by one, the worlds will fall. One by One, they *will* give me their hearts, until all of Earth, with all its technology, will have no choice but to acknowledge Nerissa as its queen!

Intermission

IntermissionDQvsN

Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight

The Dark Queen prepares her army for a brand new attack on the Battletoads, until she hears a teleportation sound coming to her dimension, which is revealed to be Nerissa and her Knights of Destruction.

Dark Queen: Who the hell are you?

Nerissa: The name is Nerissa, and I am here to take over all of the worlds, including this one.

Dark Queen: Ha, you think you can conquer my world that easy? You must be joking.

Nerissa: You sealed your fate, fool.

Dark Queen: How dare you insult your queen!

FIGHT!

(Cue Dark Queen's theme from the NES Battletoads video game)

Dark Queen: Beast Police, arrest her!

Nerissa: Knights of Destruction, destroy them!

The Army of Psyko pigs and various rats collide with the Knights of Cerebus, causing them all to be overwhelmed by Khor eating one of the Psyko Pigs like a ham, leaving Shagon, Ember, and Tridart to freeze, burn, and crush everyone else with ease.

Dark Queen: Slaughter, Magnus, Blag, Karnath; Don't just stand there, do something!

Slaughter: Right away, your majesty!

The four beasts charge at the Knights of Destructuion; Slaughter goes after Ember and tries to run her over but misses.

Ember: Time to make hamburger out of you, bully!

Ember roasts Slaughter until he was nothing but an unliving, charred skeleton. Karnath. Karnath tries to put the bite on Tridart, but Tridart bloacks his mouth.

Tridart: Even the sneakiest snake gets brittled with the cold.

Tridart uses his ice breath on Karnath who then freezes to a statue.

Tridart: Brittle, and likely to snap!

He then punches Karnath's head off as he says the last word. Blag and Khor wrestle each other, until Blag tosses Khor to the ground and tries to flatten him, but Khor dodges in time, pounces on Blag and scrathces his back thoroughly enough until Blag exploded like a volcano of Blood. As for Shagon and Robo-Magnus, they where colliding, Robo-Magnus fires his shots but Shagon dodges them all by flying around, and he finally gives enough force to destroy Magnus with his own lasers and destroy him.

Nerissa: Looks like the one who will be victorious is me. Knights of Destruction, seize her!

Dark Queen: Don't think I'll give in that easily, fools.

(Cue Level 7 theme song from "Battletoads and Double Dragon: Ultimate Team")

Dark Queen spins as fast as she can and turns into a tornado and sucks Ember in to extinguish her with enough speed on her spinning. Shagon tries to shoot lasers at the Dark Queen, but she teleports in time to appear behind him and use her staff unleash an explosive skull on his head with success, decapitating him. Then Khor and Tridart charge at the Dark Queen but were not fast enough to dodge the fireballs thus incinerating Khor and melting Tridart. Then the Dark Queen turns to Nerissa.

Dark Queen: There is only room for one queen, and that's me, bitch!

Nerissa: We shall see about that.

The Dark Queen turns into a tornado yet again, but Nerissa pulls off a trick up her sleeve.

Nerissa: Water, Fire, Earth, Air, Quintessence!

Nerissa gets her powers ready and flies into the tornado to fight the Dark queen by hitting her. Causing the Dark Queen to lose focus and trip, Nerissa places her hands between the Dark Queen's head and shocks her big time by giving off enough electricity to cancel out the brain cells, thus killing the Dark Queen.

Nerissa: Looks like I'm queen now.

K.O.!

Results

Boomstick: Looks like the MILF wins.

Wiz: While the Dark Queen was able to surpass Nerissa on army numbers, that wasn't enough to stop the Knights of Destruction.

Boomstick: Not to mention that they had similar problems with the Battletoads and lost.

Wiz: That was even before the Dark Queen turn the tables on the Knights. Then it came to the showdown between the 2 dark Femme Fetales.

Boomstick: And lucky for Nerissa, her powers saved her own ass while dealing damage to the Dark Queen's sexy ass.

Wiz: That's right, and while not all her powers were used, she was more than capable of putting the Dark Queen for good with the slightest of ease.

Boomstick: In the End, Nerissa gave the Dark Queen a shocking defeat.

WinnerNerissa
Wiz: The Winner is Nerissa.

Trivia

  • This is Maxevil's forty-eighth Death Battle.