Star Wars vs The Legend of Zelda. Which all powerful dark lord of technology and magic will destroy the other?
Wiz: In almost all of fiction, there's a big bad villain that the heroes must stop.
Boomstick: Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith.
Wiz: And Ganondorf, the King of Evil.
Wiz: Darth Vader, one of the most famous villains of all time, and also used to be a whiny bitch. But anyway, Vader comes equipped with a crimson red Lightsaber, which is able to basically cut through anything, and can also throw it like a boomerang. His other weapon is the Force, an omnipresent "force" in the galaxy, and considering Vader's high midi-chlorian count, he's a master with it.
Boomstick: Please don't talk about that Prequel bullshit!
Wiz: With the Force, Vader can telekinetically throw, lift, choke, create force fields, read his opponent's mind, buff his stats, or even destroy their lungs with Force Kill or telekinetically crush them with Force Crush.
Boomstick: Vader was strong enough to destroy an AT-AT, was able to defeat many powerful Jedi masters like Luke or Obi-Wan, and even survived a dip in lava.
Wiz: However, Vader is weak to electricity, and can't use Force Lightning.
Vader: The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
Wiz: Ganondorf is the almighty Prince of Thieves and constant bane to Link and Zelda, constantly trying to take over Hyrule. Ganondorf is extremely well adapt with magic, being able to throw electricity balls that can be deflected. Ganondorf can also fly, teleport, use simple dark magic, and he even has a moveset from Smash Bros: Wizard's Foot, Flame Choke, Dark Dive and Warlock Punch.
Boomstick: I don't like sand. It's course and rou...
Wiz: Shut up! Moving on, Ganondorf also carries around some swords like the Sage Sword, twin katanas, the Swords of Demise, and the Trident of Power, which acts like a boomerang. Ganondorf can also transform into a monster named Beast Ganon, who can summon bats and fire electricity as well as fly and teleport.
Boomstick: Ganondorf survived an entire castle falling on him as well as being impaled, knocked Zelda out cold with a slap, and even beat Link in an alternate timeline.
Wiz: However, Ganondorf is arrogant, slow, and can only be killed by Holy Weapons. However, since the Holy Weapons thing is an obvious NLF, we are not going to include it in this fight.
Ganon: No! Not into the pit! It burns!
In Ganondorf's dark castle, the King of Evil watched from above as his minions were combatting Storm Troopers. Just as he was gonna join the battle, a red light appeared from behind him, which catches Ganon's attention.
Vader: I shall crush you and your army with the power of the Force!
Ganon: Your "Force" is nothing compared to my magic!
Ganondorf charges at Vader, but Vader easily Force Pushes him backwards, causing Ganon to stumble. Enraged, Ganondorf performs the Wizard's Foot, slamming into Vader and knocking the Sith Lord backwards. Ganondorf then fires a few electricity balls at Vader, who deflects them back at Ganon, who avoids them. Vader tossed his Lightsaber at Ganon, instantly slashing Ganon's chest.
Vader: Your power is nothing compared to the Dark Side!
Vader then lifts various objects with the Force and throws them at Ganon, who destroys them with energy blasts and pulls out the Swords of Demise and rushes at Vader. Ganon swings them both at Vader, who easily destroys them with his Lightsaber and begins to Force Choke Ganon, causing the King of Evil to hold his neck in pain.
Vader: I find your lack of power disturbing.
Ganon shoots a blast of magic in Vader's face, knocking Vader backwards. Ganondorf rushes up to Vader and performs the Dark Dive, electrocuting Vader. Ganondorf then charges up a Warlock Punch and performs it, but Vader activates a Force Field to protect him. Ganon tries to do another one, but Vader slashes his arm off immediately.
Vader: I've had enough of your games!
Suddenly, Ganondorf transforms into Beast Ganon and summons fire bats to attack Vader. Vader sends them flying away with the Force and Force Pushes Ganon backwards. Ganon starts flying and shoots an electricity blast at Vader, who redirects it with his Lightsaber, electrocuting the pig monster. Vader then uses the Force and slams Ganon into the floor, creating a giant crater instantly.
Ganon tries to get up, but Vader slashes both of his arms off instantly, causing Ganon to scream in pain.
Vader: It appears you underestimated the power of the Dark Side.
Vader then uses the Force to crush Ganon's organs, causing the monsterous pig to bleed everywhere.
Darth Vader steals the Triforce of Power from Ganon.
Ganon's forces are forced(heh) to surrender.
Wiz: This battle was pretty close, with Ganon taking the physical strength and versatility advantages, but while Ganon is a strong foe, he had no way to counter the Force, thus making it hard for him to kill Vader, who's one of the strongest Force users. Also, Ganon's projectiles could easily be redirected with the Force, and Ganon's swords could easily be destroyed by the Lightsaber, which severely weakened Ganon.
Boomstick: Poor Ganon, he must've felt crushed after being Forced to lose.
Wiz: The winner is Darth Vader.