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Deadpool vs. Deathstroke

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Deadpool vs. Deathstroke
  • Nkstjoa
  • Pichu95
  • BMHKain
Season 1, Episode 3
Vital statistics
Air date December 8, 2014
Written by Nkstjoa
Directed by Nkstjoa
Episode guide
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Vergil vs. Sesshōmaru Jin Kazama vs. Kasumi

A wish came true... A dream became a reality...

This is an actual Death Battle. Check out the Death Battle Wiki's page for it here.

Deadpool vs. Deathstroke is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.

Description

Marvel VS DC! The Merc with a Mouth battles the very assassin who inspired him! Can Deathstroke's expertise and reflexes counteract Deadpool's insanity and healing factor?

Interlude

Wiz: These two masked mercenaries are masters of their craft...

Boomstick: But only one Wilson will be leaving with a pay check. Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth.

Wiz: And Deathstroke the Terminator.

Boomstick: 'Oh, but Thanos made Deadpool immortal, so he can't die...'

Wiz: To ensure this battle ends in a decisive death, we will be lifting Thanos' curse.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Deadpool

Wiz: Wade Wilson, if that even is his real name, was once a regular human mercenary. He was an efficient trained killer, but soon discovered that a killer was living inside of his body: cancer. In an effort to cure himself, he left the woman he loved and joined the Weapon X program, who promised him that they could cure it.

Boomstick: Turns out it was kind of a trick and they instead used Wade in an attempt to replicate the healing factor of Weapon X, better known as Wolverine. Things didn’t quite go according to plan and the healing factor bonded with his cancer cells, leaving him horribly disfigured.

Wiz: Considered a failure, the Weapon X program rejected him and sent him to the Hospice, where failed superhuman subjects were treated. But as it turns out, the subjects there were experimented on by Dr. Killebrew and Ajax, his sadistic assistant. There, the subjects placed bets on how long each patient would live; a deadpool.

Boomstick: I get it!

Wiz: Wade was subjected to countless torturous experiments and soon formed a relationship with Death… yes, THE Death.

Boomstick: Soon afterward, he began taunting Ajax, who decided to return the favor by lobotomizing Deadpool’s only friend Worm and tearing out Wade’s heart.

Wiz: But his thirst for vengeance activated his healing factor and after killing Ajax, he escaped and became a mercenary once again, donning the red and black costume as Deadpool.

Boomstick: Umm... so where do the jokes and fourth-wall breaking come in?

Wiz: Deadpool uses his humor to repress his nightmares of the past, and he eventually became aware of his existence as a fictional character.

Boomstick: He carries an awesome arsenal of weaponry. Up close, he slices and dices with his twin katana, stabby-stabs with his twin sai, and even crushes his enemies with twin hammers. STOP!!! HAMMER TIME!!!

Wiz: He proficient in many traps and thrown weapons, including frag and flashbang grenades, bear traps, and landmines.

Boomstick: And don’t you forget his firearms: pistols, submachine guns, shotguns… and pulse rifles, which make people go BOOM!!!

Wiz: As if his above-average speed wasn’t enough, he can quickly get right in his enemy’s face, out of harm’s way, or anywhere in between with his teleporter belt.

Boomstick: And if he ever needs any more weapons or ammo, he just reaches into his magic satchel, which houses all of his weapons.

Wiz: His artificial healing factor can heal wounds and injuries in mere seconds, and offers great resistance to drugs and chemicals.

Boomstick: Man, Wade has both Unlimited Ammo and regenerating health. Like Wolverine before him, Deadpool is nearly impossible to kill.

Wiz: Keyword: nearly. While Deadpool does have a greater healing factor than Wolverine, he does not have any immunities to any methods that are capable of doing him in, such as drowning, destroying every single one of his cells, and decapitating him and keeping his head from his body.

Boomstick: Even so, his healing factor is insane; he’s regrown organs and limbs, can survive decapitation, and after the Hulk liquefied his upper body, his bloody mess of a torso and head got back together. Oh, and he's survived a nuclear explosion or two.

Wiz: And perhaps Deadpool’s greatest weapons of all is his own insanity. His random changes in mood, conversations with voices in his head, and lack of any restraint towards the fourth wall can make him incredibly unpredictable to both enemy and ally. Often times, he doesn’t even know what he’s going to do next. He's proven to be so unpredictable that even Taskmaster, who has photographic reflexes, could not predict his next move.

Boomstick: And his mental state is so bad that even Professor freakin’ X can’t read this guy’s mind!

Wiz: Right. He’s immune to mind-reading by psychics, mind control by outside sources, and even Ghost Rider’s Penance Stare.

Boomstick: Nicolas Cage has nothin’ on him!

Wiz: Riiight… however, Deadpool’s insanity also can work against him. He often gets so wrapped up in his own goofy antics that he can often overlook key factors in battle. And while nearly impossible to kill, he isn’t unstoppable and has been brought down before.

Boomstick: But still, you’d need a guide in order to figure out how to kill this guy. Wade “Deadpool” Wilson is one of comic’s deadliest mercenaries. He’s taken on many deadly assignments and while he hasn’t always gotten his pay check, he always survives to tell the tale. And he's even killed the entire Marvel universe by himself!

Wiz: No, no! That's not even close to canon!

Deathstroke

Boomstick: Man, what a Deadpool rip-off. Was DC even trying to hide it? Somebody get Marvel on the phone.

Wiz: No, Boomstick. In fact, Deathstroke came first, 10 years before him. Deadpool was created as a parody of Deathstroke, hence their real names being near-identical.

Boomstick: Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. I’ll have to remember that from now on.

Wiz: *sighs* Serving in the US Army at age 16, Slade Wilson quickly rose through the ranks to achieve the rank of Major. it was then that he caught the attention of Captain Adeline Kane, who was impressed with his skills and adaptibility to modern conventions warfare.

Boomstick: So naturally, she decided to privately train him in guerilla warfare... and then fell in love with him.

Wiz: In less than a year, he had mastered every form of combat presented to him and was soon promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.

Boomstick: Now that sounds like a guy that you don't want to mess with.

Wiz: And that was him before he volunteered for a medical experiment. While it was designed to make soldiers resistant to truth serums, it instead put him into a coma.

Boomstick: And when he woke up, he found that his brain capacity and body were boosted to near-superhuman levels. So when he tried to re-enlisted, what did the army do? That's right, they rejected him, because who would want a guy like that on their side?

Wiz: Unable to serve his country, Slade became a world famous safari hunter, who was secretly the world's deadliest assassin. After a rival mercenary slashed his son Joseph's throat and Aveline shot his right eye, he truly became Deathstroke the Terminator.

Boomstick: So why doesn't he look like Arnie underneath that mask?

Wiz: No, not that Terminator!

Boomstick: Slade has wielded a large arsenal of bladed weapons over the years, including knives and even twin katana, but his best has to be his promethium sword.

Wiz: From afar, he can fire upon enemies with pistols, submachine guns, and his sniper rifle, which is equipped with a grenade launcher and automatic fire. And to get the drop on enemies or escape from sight, he carries multiple stun grenades. Then there's his other preferred weapon, the power staff.

Boomstick: Ooh, is it a magical staff?

Wiz: No. Aside from being composed of promethium, it is more than just a short-range weapon. It's capable of firing energy blasts from both ends...

Boomstick: And bullets!

Wiz: His armor is composed of kevlar and promethium.

Boomstick: And why do we keep bringing up Promethium?

Wiz: Promethium is a near-indestructible metal invented by Steve Dayton, the multimillion dollar head of Dayton Industries and superhero Mento.

Boomstick: Mento: The Freshmaker.

Wiz: It is created through the combination of the metal titanium and the chemical element vanadium, though there is an even greater form that can absorb nearly limitless amounts of energy; volatile promethium.

Boomstick: Only problem is that it's pretty dangerous since it can mutate people.

Wiz: Deathstroke's sword, staff, and armor contain volatile promethium, but thanks to his healing factor, he is able to utilize them without any negative side effects.

Boomstick: Wait, I thought we already talked about the merc with a healing factor.

Wiz: The medical experiment offers Deathstroke a greater healing factor than an ordinary human, allowing him to quickly recover from gunshots, stabs, and broken bones, and slowing his aging.

Boomstick: Not to mention he was even impaled in the chest and it didn't even slow him down.

Wiz: His other benefits include being strong enough to lift 2,000 lbs and twist steel with his bare hands, fast enough to run at 30 mph and dodge point-blank gunfire, and enhanced hearing, vison, and sense of smell. Odd for an experiment made for stimulating the adrenal gland.

Boomstick: But his greatest weapon of all is his brain, which Deathstroke can use 90% of, 9 times more than the average human. Man, it sure sucks only being able to use 10% of my brain. Say, why doesn't Deathstroke have omnipotent powers like that Lucy chick?

Wiz: FALSE! While this has long been one of Deathstroke's greatest attributes, this urban myth about the human brain has long since been debunked. If humans only used 10% of their brain, they simply could not survive. But despite all that, you're absolutely right Boomstick. Deathstroke's brain is a marvel, able to process information and react far faster than an ordinary human.

Boomstick: Are you sure he's not a Terminator?

Wiz: His sense of time is so near-perfect that he's even calculated the Flash's speed.

Boomstick: Damn! Now that's what I call quick-thinking! But in case Deathstroke is outmatched, he has the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card: a multi-million dollar flash bomb designed to disable the entire Justice League... and even Superman!

Wiz: But it only lasts long enough to guarantee his escape. Like Batman, his greatest accomplishments have been through not just his strength, speed, and reflexes, but through his calculations. Roy Harper, Green Arrow's own sidekick, once referred to Deathstroke as the best tactitian on the planet.

Boomstick: On his own, Deathstroke has single-handedly held his own against some of DC comics' biggest players, such as Batman, as well as its most renowned teams, such as the Teen Titans.

Wiz: In fact, in Identity Crisis, Deathstroke defeated every member of the Justice League... minus, Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman... all without back-up or assistance. And in the X-Men/Teen Titans crossover, Deathstroke defeated Colossus and even fought Wolverine...

Boomstick: ...To a standstill!

Wiz: But as perfect as Deathstroke sounds, he's lost his fair share of battles over the years, and as durable as he is, even he has his limits. Suffering enough pain, especially in his right eye, can put him into a blind rage-filled state, where all of his tactical strategy is thrown out the window.

Boomstick: But good luck trying to aim for that tiny spot on the black half of his mask all while he's planning out how to pick you apart. Deathstroke ain't no joke!

Deathstroke: I am the thing that keeps you up at night: the evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest. 

Fight

Nkstjoa

Deadpool jumps onto a rooftop.

Deadpool: Aww, nothing like another lovely night in a generic city. It’s probably New York, but then what city doesn’t look like it nowadays?

Deadpool walks over to an opening and looks down, seeing that it’s an abandoned smelting factory.

Deadpool: Well lookie here; an abandoned steel mill. Guess the place hasn’t been the same since those two Terminator’s back in ‘91.

Suddenly, Deadpool sees Deathstroke walking inside on one of the platforms.

Deadpool: Hey! There’s that copycat of me!

Deadpool grabs onto his katana’s hilt, preparing to unsheathe it.

Deadpool: I’ll show him!

Deadpool jumps into the opening, his katana in both of his hands. Deathstroke suddenly stops and turns to see Deadpool coming downward. Deathstroke quickly rolls out of the way, avoiding Deadpool’s attack.

Deathstroke: Not fast enough.

Deadpool: Oh yeah?

Deadpool gets up and stands in a heroic pose.

Deadpool: Ha ha! Stroke’s on you! I was totally planning on you dodging that!

Deathstroke: And what do you have planned now?

Deadpool: Plan B... which I’m making up as I go!

Deathstroke gets into a fighting position.

Deathstroke: Are we doing this or what?

Deadpool: Let us duel to the death like gentlemen!

Deadpool gets into a gentleman boxer pose.

FIGHT!

Deathstroke and Deadpool trade unarmed blows, but both are unable to deliver any serious blows against the other; Deathstroke’s discipline stops Deadpool from getting in any strikes, but Deadpool’s unorthodox fighting prevents Deathstroke from doing the same. Eventually, Deadpool gets into a crane kick stance, waiting for Deathstroke to act.

Deadpool: Don’t even try it! It’s totally unblockable! At least that’s what that old guy told me!

Deathstroke takes out two pistols and points them at Deadpool.

Deadpool: You called my bluff.

Deadpool pulls out two pistols of his own and the two fire at each other while also evading the others’ shots. Deathstroke then gets up close and draws his promethium sword while Deadpool takes aim. He successfully knocks away Deadpool’s handguns, but Deadpool then draws his twin katana and the two clash. After a while, Deadpool knocks Deathstroke back, then lunges toward him with both blades, roaring in a war-cry fashion. Deathstroke turns around and crouches last-second, stopping Deadpool with a surprise stab from his sword.

Deadpool: Hey, that was pretty co...

Deathstroke quickly draws and fires his pistol, shooting Deadpool point-blank. He then gets up, taking his sword out of the supposedly fallen Deadpool before firing two more rounds into his head for good measure. Deathstroke turns around and begins to walk away.

Deathstroke: So much for immortal...

Out of the blue, Deadpool teleports out of sight. Deathstroke hears this and is immediately on the defensive.

Deadpool: Hey Sladie!

Deathstroke turns toward the source of the sound and sees Deadpool falling towards him, armed with sais. With no time to dodge, Deathstroke puts his hands up, managing to stop Deadpool from delivering a fatal blow. However, he is still stabbed in the shoulders by both sais.

Deadpool: Try these on for sais!

Deathstroke kicks Deadpool off of him, but Deadpool is immediately on the offensive afterward, swinging his sais wildly. Though a few slashes are landed, Deathstroke eventually catches one of the sais, punches Deadpool in the stomach, then grabs one of the sais and plunges it into Deadpool’s scalp. The other sai he grabs afterward and slices Deadpool’s throat before stabbing it into his neck and kicking him off of the platform.

Shortly afterward, Deadpool begins teleporting around Deathstroke rapidly, making funny faces and poses while doing so.

Deadpool: TELEPORT FRENZY!!!

Deadpool draws his dual katana and begins a teleporting frenzy, attacking Deathstroke from random directions. Though Deathstroke manages to block most of the attacks, a few slashes hit him.

Deathstroke: Right about...

Deathstroke predicts Deadpool’s next move correctly and stands back.

Deathstroke: Here!

He then swings his promethium sword hard, knocking down both Deadpool’s katana. Suddenly, time slows down and the camera shifts close to Deadpool as he gets into a shoryuken position.

Deadpool: You swung when you should’ve turtled!

Deadpool then jumps upward with an uppercut to Deathstroke’s jaw.

Deadpool: SHORYUKEN!!!

Deathstroke falls over the railing to the next level of the factory. There, he lands right onto a switch, activating and breaking it. The entire factory turns on, churning out liquid metal into the vats below.

Deadpool: You break it, you buy it. And aww crap, I left my sai in there. Oh well...

Deadpool teleports once again.

Deadpool: On with the cutting!

Deadpool goes on another teleporting frenzy, but this time, Deathstroke is more focused. During a few of the strikes, he notices Deadpool’s belt flowing with energy and plans out his next move. Deadpool teleports next to Deathstroke, swinging both katana in the same direction, but Deathstroke ducks and stabs Deadpool somewhere in his lower body.

Deadpool: Hey! That was a low blow! I’ll show you!

Deadpool teleports with his twin katana drawn to strike, but as it turns out, he only teleported a few feet back in the air, and soon lands crotch-first onto a rail.

Deadpool: I can heal body parts... but that always hurts like hell.

Deathstroke: Thanks for the tip.

Deadpool: Damn it...

After falling down, he sees that Deathstroke had stabbed him through his teleporter belt with a knife.

Deadpool: I hope the warranty covers this.

Deathstroke approaches, armed with submachine guns behind his back, when Deadpool draws submachine guns of his own. Both anticipate it and jump back.

Deadpool: Are we related or what?

Deathstroke: Don’t flatter yourself.

Deathstroke and Deadpool charge towards each other and jump, each swinging one of their submachine guns towards the other’s in an attempt to throw off their aim. Both land to the ground, each pointing their submachine guns at the other.

Deadpool: You’re out.

Deadpool pulls the trigger and fires off rounds while Deathstroke rolls out of the way, then draws another knife to stab the seemingly vulnerable Deadpool. Deadpool lies on the ground in a seductive pose with twin shotguns. Deathstroke barely avoids both blasts and is shot on the side before moving towards cover.

Deadpool: Where ya goin’, Sweetheart?

Deathstroke takes out his rifle and begins firing multiple rounds at Deadpool, who keeps moving towards him. Deadpool fires two more shotgun blasts and Deathstroke ducks.

Deadpool: What do ya think this is, cover-based shooter? You can’t see behind the wall when you’re crouched, silly.

Deadpool raises his shotguns once again, then sees Deathstroke fire his grenade launcher attachment straight at him, nearly obliterating the weapons and knocking back Deadpool. Deathstroke comes back out with his rifle in hand and looks down at Deadpool, who is lying on the ground.

Deadpool: Pineapple surprise!

Deadpool rolls on the ground while throwing multiple flashbang grenades near him. Deathstroke can’t possibly flee from that many flashbang grenades and is caught in the impact. Deadpool is fairly dazed as well, but quickly recovers.

Deadpool: Oops. Meant to use the frags. Anywho...

He reaches into his satchel. Deathstroke has barely began to recover when he sees Deadpool wielding two large hammers.

Deadpool: Batter up!

He swings both at Deathstroke, knocking the rifle out of his hands and off of the platform. Deathstroke takes out his promethium sword, but after a few swings, it too is knocked out of his hands onto the ground. Then a heavy swing of the hammer hits his side, then another hits his shoulder, forcing Deathstroke to his knees. Deadpool seperates both hammers, preparing for an epic finish.

Deadpool: Curtains for you, Slade.

Deadpool swings both hammers toward each other, intending to collide them with each other. To his surprise, Deathstroke stops both of them with his bare hands. Behind his mask, Deathstroke is growling and enraged. He pushes Deadpool back and walks toward him. Deadpool quickly swings one of his hammers, which Deathstroke catches with one of his hands. The other hand claws into Deadpool’s hand before ripping the hammer out of his grip. With the hammer in his hands, Deathstroke runs toward Deadpool with all his fury. The two have a hammer duel before Deathstroke throws it right toward Deadpool before falling into a crouching position. Deadpool is struck and is forced to the ground, but then gets back up.

Deadpool: Don’t know what that was about, but I’ll take it.

Deadpool takes out a grenade and places it on the ground, preparing to hit it with one of his hammers like a golf club.

Deadpool: FORE!!!

Deadpool swings it and Deathstroke takes out his staff, knocking the grenade away as it explodes behind him.

Deadpool: *wolf whistles*

Deathstroke runs toward Deadpool who begins chucking grenades. Deathstroke knocks them all away, the last towards Deadpool, who barely ducks out of the way. He looks down and sees multiple landmines on the ground and he quickly fires energy from the staff, detonating them. He then sees a small line of bear traps and throws a stun grenade, which sets them all off. Deadpool quickly draws his hammers and swings them at Deathstroke, who blocks them with his staff. He then steadily disarms Deadpool of his hammers before Deadpool kicks Deathstroke away and pulls out his katana. The two clash and Deathstroke attempts firing an energy blast across the ground, but Deadpool hops over it.

Deadpool: That staff ain’t nothin’!

Deathstroke then fires a bullet from the staff, which strikes Deadpool in the head.

Deadpool: Point taken.

Deadpool is then swiftly disarmed of his melee weapons once again and falls to the ground.

Deathstroke: I think we both know surrender is off the table at this point.

Deadpool: That’s it! The mittens are off! Time for some real fire power!

Deadpool reaches into his satchel and pulls out his pulse rifles.

Deadpool: Say your prayers, Staffmaster.

Deadpool fires off two shots, which Deathstroke ducks under, both of which hit platforms in the far distance, utterly decimating them. Deathstroke is on the run, avoiding their fire and heading towards cover. Deathstroke sees one of Deadpool’s hammers and throws it toward him. Deadpool fires his pulse rifle, obliterating it instantly.

Deadpool: Hammer 2! No! Look at what you made me do!

Deathstroke takes cover and begins prepping his super bomb.

Deadpool: IT’S NO USE!!!

Deadpool comes guns-blazing toward the cover as he fires at it, causing it to explode as Deathstroke jumps into the air.

Outcome #1

Deadpool sees Deathstroke jumping into the air and quickly fires at his staff. The destruction of the staff sends its shrapnel toward Deathstroke, who throws the super bomb. It misses its mark thanks to the sudden pain of a piece of shrapnel to his right eye, and the super bomb goes over the platform into another vat of liquid metal.

Deadpool: I bet that was expensive.

Once again enraged, Deathstroke grabs his promethium sword and kicks the other hammer toward Deadpool. The hammer strikes Deadpool’s ankle, grounding him as he tries to get another shot on Deathstroke. Deathstroke covers the distance before he can and slashes Deathstroke, making him drop his pulse rifles. Deadpool quickly grabs onto his katana, but Deathstroke goes on a slashing frenzy, slashing Deadpool multiple times. Deadpool goes around Deathstroke and manages to stab him with his katana, but Deathstroke doesn’t notice it, and then stabs Deadpool with his promethium sword. He begins lifting Deadpool up with it when Deadpool notices that Deathstroke’s back is facing toward the vat of liquid metal.

Deadpool: You know what they say...

Deadpool forces himself to the ground, then jumps forward, getting stabbed with the sword further and knocking Deathstroke off his feet. The both of them fall off of the platform towards the vat of liquid metal below.

Deadpool: Some like it hot!

Both Deadpool and Deathstroke fall straight into the molten liquid. After a few seconds, Deadpool emerges from the molten metal, practically a skeleton.

Deadpool: Whoee! That was a hot bath! Well it was nice meeting you, but I’ve gotta go. Now don’t you go making any moves on Death, you hear?

K.O.!

Deadpool walks through the steel mill, the scenery perfectly censoring him while Deathstroke’s mask slowly melts in the furnace.

Outcome #2

Deathstroke throws the super bomb and it goes off in Deadpool’s face. Disoriented and practically blinded by it, Deadpool begins looking around sporadically.

Deadpool: Where are you, Deathjoke?!

Deadpool begins firing his pulse rifles in random directions.

Deadpool: Are you over here? Or over there? Or here? Or there? Here? There?

Deathstroke runs toward Deadpool armed with his promethium sword, dodging pulse rifle fire along the way. He jumps up into the air and just as Deadpool finally takes aim at Deathstroke, he slashes Deadpool’s neck, causing his pulse rifle blasts to barely miss him.

Deadpool: You call that a decapitation? My head's still attached.

Deathstroke acts quickly, tearing the pulse rifles from Deadpool’s fingers, stepping back, and firing them toward Deadpool. The result is his entire upper and lower body exploding with his arms and legs flying off the platform and Deadpool’s head flying upward into the air over Deathstroke, who catches it with one hand.

Deadpool: Well you can’t possibly hope to kill me.

Deathstroke walks over toward the edge of the platform.

Deadpool: As long as I still have my head...

Deathstroke then looks down at the vat of molten metal below.

Deadpool: Shouldn’t have said that.

Deathstroke dangles Deadpool’s head over the edge of the platform.

Deadpool: I know we said some things and I might’ve stabbed you a couple of times, but I know that we can make things work out between us.

Deathstroke: You’re dreaming.

He then throws Deadpool’s head downward with all his might as he screams. Deadpool’s head splashes into the molten metal and a few seconds later, it emerges, nearly skeletal in appearance.

Deadpool: Before I go, I just want to thank all of my fans, my good buddy Cable, my darling Death, as well as Takahaka101 for voicing me, and of course...

Eventually, Deadpool begins speaking gibberish as his head melts down entirely. Deathstroke looks down to ensure the kill, then turns and walks away.

K.O.!

Deathstroke grabs the magic satchel and places it onto his back while a small pool of blood in the molten metal that resembles Deadpool’s symbol slowly melts down.

Who would you be rooting for?
 
116
 
42
 

The poll was created at 05:54 on August 16, 2014, and so far 158 people voted.

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