Description[]
Disney villains. Vile, cold-hearted foes for the heroes to face. Which one of these foes would triumph in a battle?
Interlude[]
Wiz: "We all remember Disney as the source of our childhood favorites, and even more animated classics to this day."
Boomstick: "And we all seem to forget just how FUCKIN' SCARY their bad guys can be!"
Wiz: "Indeed. Today we've brought together the worst of the worst to even gain the approval of the legendary mouse himself. Jafar, the sultan's adviser."
Boomstick: "Maleficent the Mistress of all Evil'
Wiz: "Ursula, the sea witch."
Boomstick: "And Dr. Facilier, the Shadow Man. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick."
Wiz: "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle."
Jafar[]
Wiz: If you don’t know who he is, Jafar is the treacherous advisor of the Sultan of Agrabah.
Boomstick: I know I wouldn’t hire him! Why would he hire him?
Wiz: Apparently, despite being an “excellent judge of character”, the Sultan is quite dim-witted.
Boomstick: He also does have some amazing powers!
Wiz: At the start of the movie, he was only an alchemist, however when he gained possession of the Genie’s lamp, he became the most powerful sorcerer in the world and later became a Genie, binding him to a lamp too.
(Jafar laughs)
Boomstick: That’s a freaky laugh!
Wiz: We will not be using his genie form for this battle though.
Boomstick: He still does have some amazing powers though.
Wiz: Yes, he can control the bodies of his foes and transform them too.
Boomstick: He turned Abu into a toy and shrunk Rajah down to a kitten.
Wiz: He can also conjure a giant hourglass to trap and suffocate his enemies.
Boomstick: He can also summon swords.
Wiz:He also has fire breath like a dragon.
Boomstick: He sent a tower to the ends of the earth with a swing of his staff!
Wiz: Yes, Boomstick. He also tore Carpet to shreds.
Boomstick: Anyway, how did that carpet even exist. Can I fly one, Wiz?
Wiz: I may not be a sorcerer, but I do have on-
Boomstick: (takes carpet) Whoopee! (flies far away)
Wiz: He can also turn himself into a giant snake and can squeeze his enemies to death or poison them. He is also immune to fire.
Boomstick: (comes back) That was great! (carpet keeps flying)Wait! Aaaaaaaah Wiz, help me!
Wiz: Boomstick, you need to-
Boomstick: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Wiz: Listen to me! You need to-
Boomstick: Now I’m going to the ends of the earth!
Wiz: The Earth is a sphere. Anyways, stop fooling around. Just steer it back here!
Boomstick: (screaming)
Wiz: Time to pilot it myself. (pulls out remote)
(the carpet steers back)
Boomstick: Thanks, Wiz! Hey, can I get a beer?
Wiz: After the fight.
Boomstick: But I’m so thirsty and scared!
Wiz: Shut up. (places duct tape on Boomstick’s mouth)
Boomstick: (trying to speak)
Wiz: Anyway, despite his flaws, Jafar is not someone you want to mess with or anger.
(Prince Ali Reprise plays)
Maleficent[]
Boomstick:Maleficent is an evil sorceress who apparently has “all the powers of Hell” and is very powerful.
Wiz: In her movie, she starts out by cursing Princess Aurora to die on her 16th birthday because she was not invited to her christening.
Boomstick: She then sends her EXTREMELY incompetent minions to look for Aurora for 16 years...and they looked for a baby the whole time. Talk about incompetent.
Wiz: Then she gets very angry at them and sends lightning at her minions.
Boomstick: She might have won if her minions looked for a growing child instead. Have some common sense, guys.
Wiz: I actually agree with that, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Then she battles Prince Philip with a dragon form. Wait, she also imprisons him for a REALLY long time...or so she intended. All that for not being invited to a party? And isn’t it the parents’ fault that she wasn’t invited?
Wiz: Maleficent has been shown to be very petty though. And anyway, the christening was hosted for Aurora.
Boomstick: I guess so. Anyway, let’s get to her abilities!
Wiz: She can send out lightning bolts from her staff and can even create lightning storms.
Boomstick: How do magical staffs work though?
Wiz: Well, I’ve done some research and-
Boomstick: Let’s just get to the fight! No time for research now!
Wiz: She can also teleport silently or with green flames.
Boomstick: That will help me GET MY BEER NOW, even if it’s at the store!
Wiz: Have some patience, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Hey, we’re still doing research!
Wiz: That’s needed for the fight.
Boomstick: Okay, Wiz.
Wiz: Well then, she can also create a forest of thorns too.
Boomstick: Don’t forget her more important abilities!
Wiz: The previous abilities were important.
Boomstick: Sheesh, Wiz, just stop to cool down and relax.
Wiz: You’ll have a hard time relaxing with Maleficent’s dragon form.
Boomstick: Yeah, things are getting REALLY hot in here.
Wiz: Her fire breath can break stone.
Boomstick: So can her lightning!
Wiz: She can also summon a big forest of thorns to block or hurt her enemies.
Boomstick: Those thorns sure look prickly.
Wiz: She does have weaknesses though.
Boomstick: A magic sword did one shot her though.
Wiz: Yes, and she is vulnerable to light magic.
Boomstick: And that’s probably it.
Ursula[]
Wiz: Ursula is a sea witch who was exiled from Atlantica by King Triton.
Boomstick: She was practicing dark magic illegally.
Wiz: And then, Triton’s daughter Ariel came in to her lair years later.
Boomstick: She made a bad deal with her, I’ll say.
Wiz: Yes Boomstick, she did make a bad deal and lost her voice.
Boomstick: And then Ariel became a human and had to kiss Prince Eric in three days or else she would become a polyp.
(Poor Unfortunate Souls instrumental plays)
Wiz: Then, Ariel reaches the surface world and after many attempts, Eric wanted to kiss her.
Boomstick:Then, Ursula transforms herself into a woman named Vanessa to seduce Eric and stop Ariel from kissing him.
Wiz:However, Ariel’s seagull friend, Scuttle, if I’m right, found out about the ruse and warned the animals about it.
Boomstick: Then, the animals interrupt the wedding to save Ariel, but it’s too late. Using Ariel’s possible polyp transformation as a bargaining chip for King Triton,she turned King Triton into a polyp by making him sign his name on the contract instead and stole his trident.
Wiz:Pretty clever, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Thanks Wiz, now can I get the beer?
Wiz: After the fight.
Boomstick: Okay, that’s fine. I guess.
Wiz: Anyway, with the Trident, she could control the oceans and she gained a host of other abilities.
Boomstick: She has super strength and can push Ariel onto a rock in the alternate ending of the film.
Wiz: Her tentacles can drag foes down into the sea or spin them around to do damage to the opponents, but only in the sea.
Boomstick: Enough of that, let’s get to her magic powers!
Wiz: She can make whirlpools in the ocean and raise sunken ships.
Boomstick: She’d make a mighty’ fine treasure hunter.
Wiz: Yes, and she can also fire lightning from the Trident.
Boomstick: But raising sunken ships was also her downfall.
Wiz: Yes, it seems that Ursula needs to work on her peripheral vision.
Boomstick: Couldn’t she take an eye test? Or get glasses?
Wiz: Do you know that paper crumbles in the ocean? And glasses don’t work there?
Boomstick: How did she make the contract though?
Wiz: Maybe with seaweed? Or magic?
Boomstick: Anyway, despite her weaknesses, Ursula is a tough foe to beat!
Dr. Facilier[]
Wiz: Doctor Facilier is a bokor or witch doctor who wants to become rich and rule New Orleans.
Boomstick: But for this, he had to enlist the help of foreign prince Naveen and his valet Lawrence.
Wiz: His first appearance was when he made hair grow all over a man’s body.
Boomstick: However, his biggest scheme was to turn Prince Naveen into a frog and change Lawrence’s appearance to match Naveen’s.
Wiz: He wanted to do this to get rid of the “fat cats who didn’t give him a sideways glance” and for plentiful wealth.
Boomstick: However, Naveen escaped and Facilier had to make another deal with his “friends on the other side” to get a squad of shadow demons to recapture Naveen.
Wiz: He almost succeeded in his plot but the wedding of Lawrence (disguised as Naveen) to Charlotte was crashed by Tiana and her friends.
Boomstick: He reversed the frog spell on Tiana and tried to get the talisman back, but Tiana broke it.
Wiz: The talisman’s destruction caused the “friends on the other side” to claim Facilier for his unpaid debt.
Boomstick: Anyway, on to his powers and abilities!
Wiz: As a side note, the shadow creatures are not used except for Facilier’s living shadow.
Boomstick: A living shadow? That’s cool! And scary.
Wiz: Yes Boomstick. Anyway, Facilier uses a strange pink powder to cast spells. It has been shown to make hair grow all over a man’s body, reverse a frog spell, and make a replica of Tiana’s dream restaurant. However, the restaurant replica may have just been an illusion.
Boomstick: Facilier can see a person’s past by using his deck of tarot cards. He can also turn people into frogs, as shown by Naveen. But he does have a weakness, though.
Wiz: Facilier can cast fire spells to light torches, make illusions and transformations, but to access his full voodoo potential, a deal must be made first and he cannot conjure anything for himself.
Boomstick: However, with his manipulation skills, powerful voodoo magic, and sleight of hand, Facilier may stand a chance in this battle.
(Friends on the Other Side plays)
Battle[]
Wiz: Now that our combatants are set,
Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Wiz: Royale.
Pre-Fight[]
On a dark night, the sorceress Maleficent was going through a forest, looking for an ancient mystical artifact. What she did not know was that Jafar, Ursula, and Dr. Facilier were searching for it too. They all arrived to a crystal.
Maleficent: It’s mine!
Jafar: No, it’s mine!
Ursula: It’s mine!
Dr. Facilier: It’s mine!
The four villains keep on arguing until Facilier has a solution.
Dr. Facilier: Why don’t we all fight for it! The winner gets the crystal!
Jafar, Maleficent, and Ursula: I agree!
The villains get into their fighting stances as the battle begins.
Fight![]
Ursula sends a blast at Maleficent, doing some damage. Meanwhile, Jafar sends a beam at Facilier.
Jafar: Bow before me!
Facilier: You have a troubled past, Jafar. I’ll help you.
Jafar summons a ring of swords around Facilier.
Jafar: I’m more powerful than you. Get the point?
Meanwhile, Maleficent recovers and sends a lightning bolt at Ursula, injuring her. She then summons a forest of thorns impaling Ursula. Ursula uses lightning to set them on fire and moves forward.
Ursula: I will be the victor!
Maleficent: Not if I can help it!
Both of them get in a struggle with their lightning bolts.
Meanwhile, Jafar breathes fire at Facilier.
Jafar: I’m just getting warmed up!
Facilier: Fight me yourself, snake!
Jafar: Perhaps you’ll like to see how snake-like I can be!
Jafar becomes a Giant Snake and traps Facilier. Facilier stabs Jafar a few times with a conjured sword, but Jafar destroys his talisman, causing the “friends on the other side” to claim Facilier.
Friends: Are you ready!
Facilier: No! No! There’s a lot more to do!
Friends: Are you ready!
Facilier: I’m not ready! There’s more in my plot! I’ll kill them!
The voodoo spirits claim Facilier.
K.O[]
Meanwhile, Ursula overpowers Maleficent and attacks Jafar, sending lightning at Jafar, who dodges it. Jafar impales Ursula with swords.
Ursula: You poor unfortunate soul.
Jafar: You’re the unfortunate one.
Jafar sends red lightning at Ursula, controlling her. Ursula uses the trident to resist, but Jafar turns her into a cat, then Ursula changes into her normal form again. Jafar, however traps her in an hourglass. She breaks out, but she is sent flying to Maleficent, who battles her again.
Maleficent: You poor simple fool, thinking you could defeat me, the Mistress of all Evil!
Ursula: We’ll see who’s the real fool.
Ursula becomes giant and slams Maleficent down and tries to strangle her, but Maleficent becomes a giant dragon. Ursula gets in a few hits with lightning at the dragon, but fire is sent at Ursula, who uses water magic to resist. She sends water at the dragon, but she suddenly notices Jafar, who has sent a beam at her, controlling her. The trident is knocked out of her hands as she is sent flying to the dragon.
Jafar: Let’s not DRAGon, shall we? Hahahaha!
Ursula is burned to death by Maleficent.
K.O.[]
Maleficent turns back into a human as she and Jafar face each other, ready for the fight. Jafar attacks first, sending red lightning at Maleficent, who counters with her own electricity. Jafar breathes fire at Maleficent, who sends lightning at Jafar. Maleficent summons thorns around Jafar.
Jafar: I got hurt there!
Maleficent: Watch your back.
Jafar breathes fire, causing the thorns to burn as Maleficent changes into a dragon.
Maleficent: Now you shall deal with me and ALL THE POWERS OF HELL!
Jafar: Perhaps you’d like to see how snake-like I can be!
Jafar, as a snake, then wraps himself around Maleficent, squeezing her. She then sends fire at him, knocking him back, but Jafar bites her with venomous fangs.
Maleficent: You were a fool to challenge me!
She sends fire at him, knocking him towards the thorns and injuring him. Jafar then changes into a human again.
Jafar: Goodbye, Maleficent.
He then traps her in an hourglass. Then, it is surrounded with red lightning and sent to the ends of the earth, killing Maleficent. Jafar laughs.
K.O[]
Jafar: Now the crystal is mine.
Results[]
Boomstick: That was brutal!
Wiz: Now, some of you may be surprised, but let’s explain the events of this battle.
Boomstick: Facilier was the first to go out, as he requires manipulation to use the full extent of his voodoo, and as he said, he “can’t conjure a thing for himself”.
Wiz: His magic was also very limited in use.
Boomstick: The next out was Ursula, as she mostly relied on water, while the others had fire to counter the water.
Wiz: She also relies on the trident to do particularly impressive magic, and her giant size can be countered by Maleficent’s dragon and Jafar’s snake form.
Boomstick: And then it was down to Maleficent vs. Jafar!
Wiz: Jafar took this because of his superior magic and varied abilities, while the only advantage Maleficent had over him was that her dragon form was better than Jafar’s snake.
Boomstick: Jafar could conjure many objects that could harm Maleficent or trap her, and could use his magic to move or transform her too.
Wiz: Even if Maleficent’s dragon could harm Jafar, he could poison Maleficent with his snake form.
Boomstick: The winner is Jafar.
Next Time on DEATH BATTLE[]
Jerry steps in after a fight with Tom.
The Roadrunner runs in front of Jerry.