Romn: Heavy Hitters! Which one will be victorious? Honestly, I'm rooting for DK.
Zombie: Then I'm rooting for Ralph. Here's a little note Romn, I never liked you.
Romn: Good one! It's April Fools, you know!
Zombie: It's not a joke.
Zombie: All right, we have Donkey Kong, one of Nintendo's Princess stealer.
Romn: And Wreck It Ralph, the heavy hitter from Disney's Wreck It Ralph!
Zombie: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win in a DEATH BATTLE!
Romn: If you know about this gorilla, you don't want to steal from his banana hoard. A daily game for him is fighting crocodiles by punching them to death or crushing them with crates.
Zombie: DK is so powerful with one punch he sent the moon out of orbit, and heck, could even shake the Earth with his bare hands!
Romn: His giant punch can send his enemies blasting into the horizon, most likely killing them. This ape has some impressive feats, like how he can unleash a flurry of blows so fast, he ignites the hydrogen in the air, creating explosions! But then again, he's a pretty big idiot.
Zombie: He was convinced that a pirate crocodile was a crocodile by just singing and dancing, leaving DK to join along with him! If the pirate crocodile meant harm, I don't think we would see DK anymore to this day. Another idiotic thing he did was one time, he and Diddy were making a killing selling frozen coconuts and could've had all the bananas they ever wanted, but the simple task of just cracking coconuts open all day was too strenuous for the big ape, so he sold the business for a couple measly bananas. I mean, come on DK!
Romn: Bananas are like the only motivator for DK, and if anyone messes with his Banana Pile, well, we should say our good byes now.
Zombie: He's agile enough to dodge arrows on a narrow ledge, and tough enough to survive point blank explosions, multiple times!
Romn: This means that he can survive punches from Wreck It Ralph, leaving this fight to go down in history. Speaking of history, what did you get on you're History Class Test, Zombie?
Zombie: Uhhhh..... I don't want to talk about it.
Zombie: Wait, really?
Romn: Yeah, I already snuck into you're room and looked at the paper. You got 19/45, Zombie! Hey, that's better then me! I got 39/45, cya!
*Romn walks away*
Zombie: I hate him.
Donkey Kong: Ok, little buddy, as part of your hero training, you've got to stand guard tonight over my bananas... I'll relieve you at midnight, so try and stay awake until then!"
Romn: Born from the game Fix It Felix Jr, Wreck It Ralph was the bad guy he didn't want to be. I mean, being a bad guy is cool, but he felt unappreciated for what he does. Instead, Fix It Felix gets all the glory.
Zombie: And Ralph has every right to be mad. He lives in a pile of bricks while all the rest of the characters live in a huge building.
Romn: So Ralph decided to tell them when a huge anniversary was held at the building. Everyone got scared when he went inside, and he got mad when none of them said he'll be liked. He squished the cake and was kicked out of the building.
Zombie: So he went out to find a medal in Hero's Duty, a shooting game. The objective of the game was to kill giant monsters and get to the top of a building. So when Ralph played and lost, and everyone went outside the game, Ralph climbed the building to get the medal.
Romn: And he did! For like 20 seconds before stepping on an egg that sent several monsters out of their eggs and attack Ralph. Ralph retreated to an Escape Pod.... Except one of the monsters was in the pod.
Zombie: Ralph flew into the game Sugar Rush while fighting the Pod, and ended up in a puddle of Slime! The monster died, Ralph lost his medal, and a tiny girl took the medal from Ralph! Ralph tried to snatch it from her, but she had glitch abilities to take it away from him. He crashed into a pile of slime and looked like a monster.
Romn: Ralph ran to Vanellope, the girl, and found out she was using the medal to race. In order to race, you had to have a medal. And she had one! So she was allowed in the race, but everyone got mad and scared. And that's when Ralph came in! He had so much candy all over him that he looked like a monster! So he tried to get the girl, but failed again. And then the donut cops tazed him!
Zombie: Ralph ended up with King Candy, noticing he was not from the game. Little did Ralph know that King Candy himself was a Video Game villain named Turbo, who turned into a villain after no one played his game anymore. This made Turbo so mad that he decided to travel through games to be noticed.
Romn: After starting to care more for Vanellope, Ralph got mad and with one punch, he smashed a jawbreaker in half. Heck, even when a normal sized Jawbreaker is used you can't break it in your mouth without breaking your teeth. But this jawbreaker Ralph smashed was 10x the size of a normal Jawbreaker.
Zombie: Ralph let Vanellope race in the contest, and told her if she didn't win he would be extremely mad. She ended up coming face-to-face with King Candy, who ended up glitching into his true form. Turbo. Everyone was frightened by the sight, and 10 seconds later giant bugs are flying out of the ground! Ralph could destroy a single bug with just one punch, meaning he is extremely strong. Not as strong as the Hulk, of course.
Romn: And when Vanellope raced, giant bugs started flying at them. Like, millions of them. Ralph must have punched at least 200 of them, and one punch meant them crashing into the ground. And those Cy-Bugs were made of metal, meaning Wreck It Ralph smashed metal into the ground without stopping.
Zombie: Woah, talk about strong! Anyways, Ralph ended up blowing up a Coca Cola Mountain, creating a ray that attracted Turbo, leaving him to get incinerated in the ray. Ralph lived a happy life in his game, appreciated for what he did best. Punch!
Ralph: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me. Because if that little kid likes me, how bad can it be?
Zombie: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate, once and for all.
Romn: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!
The night shown bright in the night as Donkey Kong raced at King K. Rool. DK landed a successful punch into Rool's face, causing the king to slam into the ground and drop Diddy Kong from his hands. Diddy Kong raced at DK and lunged into DK's open hands. A moment of silence happened before DK realized what he was doing. DK turned to Rool and landed his Giant Punch, blasting Rool into the sky.
Donkey and Diddy Kong reached their goal. The Banana Hoard! Except for one thing. A muscular man was eating the Bananas.
Donkey Kong's ears steamed and his face reddened. Donkey Kong charged at the lumberjack-looking man, slamming his fist into Ralph's gut. The video game character landed safely on the ground and barred his fists.
Ralph: What's your problem? I guess their is no choice but to wreck you!
The 2 muscular characters got in their battle stances and prepared for a deadly battle.
The 2 exchanged heavy blows, knocking one another backwards from the impact. Donkey Kong was the first to pull himself together, reaching Ralph in no time. Starting the combo with a simple punch, DK landed an Axe Kick into Ralph's side before landed a deadly uppercut into Ralph's shin. This sent Ralph barricading into a building, causing debris to fall onto Ralph. DK rushed at Ralph, but Ralph blasted the debris off of him before DK could reach him. Ralph charged a heavy punch before landing it into DK, sending the ape tumbling into the ground. DK thought fast; he grabbed his Coconut Shooter and started shooting rounds at Ralph. Ralph was hit in the face several times by several Coconuts, angering Ralph. Ralph started to charge towards DK, but he was hit hard in the head by a Coconut. Birds formed around his head as his vision started to get blurry. DK cracked his knuckles before racing at Ralph, slamming his fist into Ralph's face, grabbing his leg and slammed Ralph into the ground. DK this as his chance to step on Ralph's hand, making Ralph scream in pain. Blood formed around Ralph's arm as he gasped for breath. DK charged a deadly kick before landing it into Ralph, blasting the video game character into a boulder.
DK roars in victory before walking off...... Before getting slammed in the face by Ralph's hand. DK is sent crashing into a tree, grabs it, and chucks it at Ralph. Ralph smashes the tree in half with his hand before lunging at DK. DK was ready though. As he pulled his fist back ready to punch, Ralph's fist was nearly at his face. DK landed a deadly punch into Ralph's gut while Ralph smashed his fist into DK's face. It took seconds before a crater formed and an explosion was caused.
DK pulled himself up out of the crater, blood staining his fur. His hand was missing and an ear was gone. He looked like a Gorilla Zombie. As he did so, Ralph pulled himself out of the crater as well. But Ralph was worse looking. Ralph's hair was stained with blood and several rocks were stuck in his head. His neck was purple and his clothes were drenched in sweat.
(Cue: I Burn - RWBY)
Ralph didn't hesitate; he lunged at DK and punched him with his remaining strength. Ralph landed the blow straight into DK's face, causing DK to crash into a Coconut Tree. A coconut dropped onto the ground nearby him, revealing a white coconut. DK knew what it was! A Crystal Coconut! DK quickly cracked open the Coconut and drank. He was now invincible. DK laughed in power as Ralph dropped to the ground, his power drained from the punch. He was too weak to fight. DK cracked his knuckles before punching Ralph multiple times in the face. Sounds from Ralph's head was a unique sound; a sound of a skeleton cracking. After at least 80 punches, DK charged a heavy punch and landed it into Ralph's face. DK waited for something to happen, but nothing happened. Ralph slowly picked himself up, grabbing his head in pain. He lunged at DK, but it was his head that stopped him. The head exploded in thin air, splashing blood all over the screen. The punch from DK had exploded him. No more Ralph.
- Ralph's game shut down, resulting in everyone dying.
- Donkey Kong ended up getting a Metal Arm and continued to eat his bananas.
Romn: Yeah.... That was a pretty brutal death..... Not as brutal as Hulk vs Doomsday of course, but yeah.....
Zombie: Surprisingly, this wasn't really a close fight. Donkey Kong is strong enough to punch a moon out of orbit, meaning he punched 3000 megatons of force. That's so much better then Ralph could do, even if he trained his whole life.
Romn: Heck, Donkey Kong could even survive without an arm, either he could replace it or just live with it. And when I mean survive it, I mean he can survive it. Because he survived point-blank explosions, that means he wouldn't really, you know, get hurt.
Zombie: Because of that he could not really get harmed by Ralph's punches, survive the explosion and continue the fight, and yeah.
Romn: There wasn't really anything Ralph had to beat Donkey Kong, besides like throwing him into Lava or something, but that would never happen.
Zombie: We have to give Ralph SOME Credit. I mean, he does punch buildings every day of his life, punch a mountain so hard it forms a ray, and beats of at least 200 Metal Bugs without stopping. He is smarter then DK, but that's really all Ralph has to offer.
Romn: But then again, Donkey Kong could do that as well. Even better, though. Sooner or Later, Ralph met his maker.... Where he got WRECKED.Zombie: The Winner is Donkey Kong.