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Eren Jaeger vs. King Kong

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Description

East vs West! Eren may be one of the strongest giant slayers in fiction, but will King Kong be too much?

Interlude

Wiz: The monster, a large creature bent on destroying everything around it.

Boomstick: Like King Kong, the ruler of Skull Island.

Wiz: But sometimes, a brave hero will stand up, and fight the monster with everything he's got, like Eren Jaeger, 5th Rank Grad of the Survey Corps.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Eren Jaeger

King Kong

Cues King Kong Main Theme(1933)

Wiz: The year was 1933, and a director named Carl Denham and his crew traveled to Skull Island to film a movie, with the leading lady Ann Darow.

Boomstick: A career choice she would be regretting soon because Skull Island just so happened to have a bunch of natives that kidnapped her and tried to sacrifice her. To what you may ask? Weighing in at 60 tons and standing 15 meters tall, the ruler of Skull Island, slayer of giant fucking dinosaurs, King Kong

King Kong lets out a roar

Wiz: King Kong is far stronger than your average ape. He can lift a V-Rex with one arm, which weighs about 30 tons.

Boomstick: Or just climb buildings while carrying hot chicks! Which happened after Carl, like a dumbass, brought the giant dino killing ape back to New York City to show off. Seriously, what did you think would happen?!

Wiz: To be fair, it was the 1930s, during the Great Depression, so if you had the power to bring back something like that, wouldn't you?

Boomstick: Fair enough, but still you think you'd put him in a cage or something.

Wiz: Good luck with keeping him in there, as Kong is strong enough to smash through entire buildings, and destroyed a large bridge with only a few punches.

Boomstick: His signature attack is called the Jaw Breaker, where he takes the jaws of a bitch little dino and pulls it apart with all his might.

King Kong uses his Jaw Breaker on a giant dinosaur, killing it.

Boomstick: Jesus that's terrifying.

Wiz: He can cover several hundred yards in a few seconds by sprinting, is smarter than the average ape via semi-sentience, and tanked some shots from Lewis and Browning rifles.

Boomstick: He cant last forever against those machine guns as those are what eventually took him out. But even then, its hard to take town the legendary King Kong

King Kong climbs up the Empire State building and roars

Death Battle

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Eren King Kong Set


A nice day inside of Wall Sina, as the legendary Titan Slayer, Eren Jaeger walks through town on his day off.

Eren: Nice to take a day off sometimes...why do I feel like I just jinxed something...

Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a fist making contact with a face was heard. Then again. And again, until there was a large, hulking figure looking over the wall. It wasn't like any Titan Eren had ever seen. He was bigger, and...hairier. Eren grappled up to the top of a building, and saw that several normal Titans were lying dead with snapped jaws.

At this point the square was panicking. Eren drew his swords as King Kong let out a roar, and smashed down the wall.

Eren Jaeger prepared for the fight of his life.

FIGHT!

Results

Description

Attack On Titan vs King Kong! A Titan Slayer is going to fight the hardest Titan he will ever fight! Will Eren slay Kong or will Goliath succeed for once?

Eren Jaeger vs King Kong
Eren Jaeger VS King Kong
Season 2, Episode N/A
Vital statistics
Air date N/A
Written by Blippeeddeeblah
Directed by Blippeeddeeblah
Episode guide
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Dio vs Loki Scyther vs Levi Ackerman (Season 2)

Interlude

(cues* Invader - Jim Johnston*)

Wiz: In a world of giants bent on eating humans, two heroes stand out to protect mankind.

Boomstick: Well sort of actually, but not really.....

Wiz: Like King Kong, the Last Great Ape of Skull Island

Boomstick: And Eren Jaeger, the Rogue Titan.

Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Eren Jaeger

Credit to Para for analysis

Wiz: The year was 844, and the child Eren Jaeger found another child, Mikasa Ackerman, being sold by human traffickers. Eren and Mikasa killed these men, and then Mikasa was accepted into Eren's family.

Boomstick: And then Eren, Mikasa, and their androgynous friend Armin sorta hung out inside the Wall Maria, that is, until- *Colossal Titan is shown* HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?!

Wiz: That is the Colossal Titan, and it tore down the Wall Maria and led a bunch of titans into the city to devour a lot of humans, including Eren's mother, whom he watched die.

Boomstick: This really is 'Battle of the woobies'.

Wiz: Eren then decided that he would kill all titans, and he along with Mikasa and Armin joined the Scouting Legion to kill titans. Eren at first was having trouble, but it didn't take long for him to become one of the greatest members of the team. Until one day, he and his squad-mates were out on a mission and many of them got killed. Armin almost died too, but then-

Boomstick: Chomp! Eren got eaten.

Wiz: It seemed like Eren was done for, but then Mikasa was saved by a random titan when another titan got the better of her. It was soon revealed that this titan was none other than Eren himself.

Boomstick: Basically, he learned how to transform into one of those ugly abominations. He became known as: a Titan Shifter. Say, Wiz, if he wants to kill all titans, why doesn't he just kill himself?

Wiz: You can't kill all titans when you're dead, right? Anyway, just like any member of the Scouting Legion, Eren possesses 3D Gear, which are sort of like spring-loaded boxes with grappling hooks in them. At first, Eren had trouble using it, but he became very proficient with it in due time.

Boomstick: He also has two swords with him, which he uses to kill titans with. These swords are, well, regular swords. But remember the titan thing?

Wiz: Eren's true power comes in the form of a titan. To go into his titan form, he must inflict significant pain on himself, usually a kind that involves drawing blood. He then becomes a 15-meter tall titan, which is above-average size.

Boomstick: As a titan, man oh man is he a wrecking ball of destruction. He can kill titans in single hits, tear down huge walls, throw huge objects, and that's not even the half of it! But in return, he sacrificed having a penis. Seriously, his should be huge!

Wiz: Ugh. Anyway, Eren's titan mode also has other things involved with it. It has its own healing factor, so if any part of it is to be destroyed then it can always regenerate it. As such, it is near-invincible everywhere except for the back of its neck.

Boomstick: Yeah, one solid hit there and Eren's just a regular guy again. But the other advantage Eren has is that he's smarter than most titans. He doesn't exactly use much strategy, but his mindset is a lot less simple than just "attack attack eat human attack attack where's my penis".

Wiz: Stop with the whole penis thing! Ugh, moving on, the very best part about Eren is his Berserker Titan mode. During this, he lights himself on fire. This fire is hot enough to melt steel quickly, and is very difficult to get past.

Boomstick: Yep, you don't call a firefighter to take that one out.

Wiz: However, at the end of the day, Eren is hardly perfect. While the Berseker mode may seem invincible, it's actually very far from it. A strike to the neck is all it takes to take it out, and moreover Eren isn't really that smart, just smarter than most titans. And while he's capable with the 3D Gear and swords, it's not doing him much justice against stronger foes. But the Berserker Titan may just be all he needs to win.

Boomstick: SIED IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER *pronouncing it Jay-ger* JAEGER!

Wiz: It's actually pronounced "Yay-ger".

Eren: What is the point if those with the means and power do not fight?

King Kong

Credit to Elephant for analysis

Boomstick: A Long time ago a man kind hell bent on adventure stumbled upon an island shrouded in mystery

Wiz: It was on this island they found a legendary creature thats very name sends chill into the citizens of the big apple

Boomstick: Kong the king of skull island and new York this legendary a has accomplished some pretty incredible stuff!

Wiz: A full-grown adult male Kong is an equal match for a V. rex, the largest V. rexes would have presented quite a challenge.

Boomstick: Kong can lift one off the ground due to his brute strength, being able to lift much more than his own weight. King Kong himself was able to fight off three V. rexes, but he was an exceptional specimen. The Kong had the advantage of intelligence and grasping hands, and could use primitive tools (clubs and rocks) to batter a V. rex into leaving. Grappling, rending, and biting were also part of a Kong's combat repertoire

Wiz: Kong can break chrome steel, withstand ordinary gun fire, and climb across almost anything, and it took the combind might of six air planes to kill him

Boomstick: O KONG MY KONG YOU WILL BE SORELY MISSED!

King Kong roars

DEATH BATTLE!

It was a normal day in a city... until King Kong comes in out of nowhere and attacks it. There was only 1 person, 1 who could ever defeat THAT thing. His name was.....

Eren.

Eren walked straight up to the beast and climbed up on a ladder to the top of the building. King Kong, noticing this, cracks his fists.

FIGHT!

Eren runs straight towards King Kong, and slices at him with his swords.King Kong roars and grabs Eren, and tosses him FAR off. Eren uses the 3d gear to go back to the top of the building. King Kong leaps up and slams his fists at Eren. Kong takes his fists off the ground, only to see he definetly missed.

King Kong roars in anger. Eren then jumps towards Kong and slashes at him with one of his swords. King Kong then kicks Eren, sending him flying. Eren runs straight towards Kong and slashes him in the back, causing him to roar in pain. King Kong shakes off the attack and looks for Eren, who was on his back.

King Kong, who was just infuriated now, tossed a building and threw it at Eren, who was now standing before him. King Kong sees that the building is about to hit, when.....

---

He saw a Titan pick up the building and throw it back at him. King Kong dodges it, but was baffled to see HIM turn into THAT.Titan Eren punches Kong in the face, and Kong responds by kicking him into a building. Titan Eren got up.

Titan Eren slashes at King Kong in the heart, causing him to bleed out and roar. He was now ANGRY.

He ran up to Titan Eren and threw him through several buldings through the city. King Kong, thinking he was dead, noticed fire behind him...

That Titan was there, AGAIN, but now covered in flames. King Kong punches straight for it, but causes himself to burn to ashes instead.

K.O.!

Results

Boomstick: HOLY!

Wiz: While King Kong could easily defeat Eren when he wasnt Titan or Beserk, the second Eren did turn into those forms, King Kong was toast.

Boomstick: Eren easily defeats Titans bigger than Kong like The Colossal Titan, so why couldnt he kill Kong?

Wiz: King Kong is also pretty dumb, and he had no idea how to get Eren to turn back. And since Eren easily outsmarts Titans, he could easily outsmart Kong.

Boomstick: "But Wiz and Boomstick, didnt King Kong defeat Godzilla"?

Wiz: Well, the only reason why Kong won that one was because he was the more popular character at the time.

Boomstick: King Kong is no king anymore.

Wiz: The Winner is Eren Jeager

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