Had Nothing Better To Do, So We Became Heroes.
Saitama vs. Iron Man is a What-If? Death Battle. It features Saitama from One Punch Man and Iron Man from Marvel Comics.
Description[]
Cocky and brash, these two heroes for fun are the best at what they do and spread their experience to other heroes. But which "man" will emerge victorious: the One Punch Man or the Iron Man?
Intro[]
Wiz: Heroes. They fly across the sky with the goal to protect and serve, the symbols of peace and purification. Although, humans can become one too through hard work and dedication.
Boomstick: But these two kinda threw all that sappy shit to the side, thought the whole hero thing was cool, and decided to be one.
Wiz: Saitama, the lazy hero who kills monsters in one punch.
Boomstick: And Iron Man, the billionare turned Avenger. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...a Death Battle.
Saitama[]
Wiz: Anime has no shortage of powerful and iconic heroes. Goku, Natsu Dragneel, and Ryūko Matoi are just a few that come to mind. But few, rather if any, are what this man is.
Vaccine Man: Who are you?
Saitama: Someone who is a hero for fun.
Boomstick: But before he was everyone's favorite bald man, he was just Saitama, last name not important. A normal kid who wanted to make the world a better place in every way he can...too bad no one told him the world sucks. I learned that several times, buddy. Damn gas going up...
Wiz: As he was only fifteen years old, Saitama grew up beat up by numerous bullies and it didn't help he lived in City Z, which is home to giants, car monsters, pig monsters, cyborg gorillas...what.
Boomstick: In a city filled with monsters like these, there was a Hero's Association, a place where heroes gathered to take on the powerful threats. But some are awful, I mean, Golden Ball? What kind of dumbass name is that? What does he threw a ball on a string around?
Wiz: Actually, he has bullets in the shape of balls that he fires with a slingshot.
Boomstick: But wh-
Wiz: It's anime, don't question it. Anyways, as time went on, Saitama simply gave up. He quit his dream becoming a hero and simply accepted that he was a nobody.
Boomstick: Fast forward ten years later, Saitama was now a man who had given up on life. He didn't have a job, spouse, and barely any money. And meanwhile, you're complaining you missed that snipe in Call of Duty.
Wiz: One day after failing yet another job interview because life likes to screw him over, Saitama came across Crablante, a giant crab monster who had a human lower body because he ate too much crab?
Boomstick: Literally what the hell is this?
Wiz: Anime, Boomstick. Anime.
Boomstick: Hey, I'll bet you twenty dollars it attacked Maryland.
Wiz: But this takes place in Japan...
Boomstick: Here then.
Boomstick hands Wiz twenty dollars in Monopoly money.
Boomstick: Buy yourself something nice.
Wiz: Why are you like this? Anyway, as the two crossed paths, Crablante spared Saitama because he said he had cold, lifeless eyes like him.
Boomstick: So he didn't kill him because he looks like him?
Wiz: Pretty much.
Boomstick: Isn't that racist in a way? "I'm not going to kill you because you have the same eyes as me!"
Wiz: I mean...kind of? Anyways, Saitama was told by Crablante that if he found a child with a butt-chin, he would kill the child because the child had drawn nipples on him.
Boomstick: Meanwhile, the kids next door won't stop spray painting my car but if I say anything to them, I get restraining orders and lawsuits and court orders and all that other bullshit. Man, I really hate kids.
Wiz: As Saitama walked along the path apparently not fazed by the giant crab monster, he came across said butt-chin kid who couldn't care less about Crablante and his rage. After Crablante reared his hideous head again, Saitama debated whether he was going to save such an obnoxious kid.
Boomstick: Don't save him-
Wiz: He did.
'Boomstick: DAMMIT. Well, I guess after realizing that he didn't want the image of an ugly kid ripped in half burned his mind forever, Saitama rescued the child. He then tried to fight Crablante, only to be brutally pimp slapped into a building. Remember kids, never follow your dreams.
Wiz: When it looked like Crablante was going to continue his rampage, Saitama found enough power to get up, rip off his tie, and viciously yank Crablante's eye out and a brutal fashion.
Boomstick: WOW! That's like something out of Berserk! Guts, eat your heart out!
Wiz: Inspired by this event that triggered his dreams, Saitama trained. One hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, one hundred squats, and ten kilometer runs every single days for three years. No matter if was rain, sleet, snow, Saitama trained vigorously every day even if he vomited or damn near passed out. Also, no air conditioning because apparently, you have to damn near kill yourself to become a hero.
Boomstick: I could do that!
Wiz: No, you couldn't. Remember that time you ran to catch your Jeep after your son drove away with it?
Boomstick: He was going fifty miles per hour!
Wiz: He was hitting three miles per hour at best; his legs couldn't even reach the gas pedal. Even after he got off, you couldn't catch him. It's on Youtube!
Boomstick: ...Shut up, Wiz, we're talking about Saitama! After three years of nonstop training, Saitama grew strong, powerful, and bald. Really bald. Wait is that Krillin's so-
Wiz: Despite the fact Saitama had lost all of his hair, Saitama was now a hero. It was good for a while except one small, insignificant problem. He could kill anything and anyone in only a single punch.
Boomstick: ...That's a problem because...?
Wiz: The problem was that Saitama was never challenged by anything and after a short period of time, he was bored of being a hero. That changed when he met a blonde cyborg-
Boomstick: Android 18? I thought this was One Punch Man.
Wiz: No, his name was Genos whom he met after Saitama saved him from a bug lady.
Boomstick: A REALLY HOT bug lady.
Wiz: How low are your standards?
Boomstick: Pretty low, Wiz. Pretty damn low. Anyways, Saitama reluctantly took Genos under his featherless wing, but it seemed like it would help him now because Genos had introduced Saitama to the Hero's Association where for all his one-punching, weight-lifting skills, he was a C Class Hero. He gets moved up to B Class, don't worry.
Wiz: Saitama is an incredibly powerful figure with his signature attack: the Normal Punch.
Boomstick: The Normal Punch is so strong, it can take down giants who can destroy entire cities by walking with just a single hit. And if Saitama needs to boost that fisting power...fisting pow-
Wiz: Stop.
Boomstick: Aw, you're no fun. Anyways, he has his Normal Consecutive Punches which can harm Lord Boros who is a galactic space dictator.
Wiz: But when Saitama is challenged, he enters his deadliest phase: Serious Saitama. Because what the hell else would you name it.
Boomstick: Serious Consecutive Sidehops allow Saitama to hop back and forth so fast, he creates an afterimage, which, in order to do so, he has to be going at least 2,236 miles per hour.
Wiz: Serious Tableflip is where Saitama digs his hands under the ground and literally flip the pavement 360 degrees. The Serious Headbutt is a headbutt. No surprise there.
Boomstick: That must hurt though. A lot. I mean, look at that damn thing. It's magnificent in it's own way.
Wiz: But by far, his most powerful attack is the all mighty Serious Strike, a punch so powerful, it reflected Boros' Collapsing Star Roaring Cannon which can obliterate a star!
Boomstick: While we're on the topic of Boros, there was that one time he kicked Saitama to the moon only for Saitama to come back by jumping from the moon in only four seconds! There's no way this guy is human!
Wiz: Since it takes moonlight reaches the earth at 186,000 miles per second, Saitama had to have been going at least relavistic speeds which is ten percent the speed of light. This means Saitama had to have been going 18,600 miles per second.
Boomstick: He's also fast enough to keep up with Speed-o'-Sound Sonic, who is, despite his redundant name, not just the speed of sound, but actually capable of reaching hypersonic speeds. Then he bit his sword into pieces because he was angry. He's also beaten almost everyone in one punch, split the atmosphere on a global scale, punched a monster so hard it stopped raining, and even withstood a black hole. Also, as previously stated, he punched a star-busting attack.
Wiz: But as powerful as Saitama is, he's not without his faults. He's barely above average intelligence and rarely ever takes his fights seriously, even if the situation is dire. He's also not diverse in any types of fighting skills as his moveset rarely moves past simple kicks and punches. And one theory is that since Saitama is a "gag" character, he is unbeatable. This is false for two reasons. One, he can't beat everyone in fiction ever, that's stupid. Two, he's not even a gag character. He's a parody.
Boomstick: But chances are, he'll end you in one punch, man.
Saitama: You guys messing around with evolution and the new human race and all that crap will never make it this far. The true power of us human beings is that we can change ourselves on our own!
Iron Man[]
Wiz: Marvel. Home to many iconic superheroes ranging from the Berserker, Wolverine, to the web-slinging, Spider-Man. But one stands above the rest with his sheer intellect. Tony Stark.
Boomstick: And if the first thing you think of when you think Tony Stark is money, you're absolutely right. And don't think for a second he didn't start out that way!
Wiz: Being adopted by Howard and Maria Stark, Tony's life was filled with awards and achievements due to his genius level intellect which led him to graduating from MIT at the age of nineteen with top honors. But the thing is, he and his new father often butted heads due to Tony's carefree and playboy attitude.
Boomstick: I remember I was like with my dad. Wonder where he is now.
Wiz: Probably fighting some mute abomination in some canyon.
Boomstick: Yeah...well anyways, his parents died in a car crash because this is Marvel. What is Stan Lee's obsession with orphans about? Is that like a weird fetish I don't know about?
Wiz: Now the sole heir of Stark Industries, Tony had power, wealth, women, alchohol. Anything he ever wanted, he could have with just a snap of his fingers.
Boomstick: Soon, the playboy started making bombs for the war in Afghanistan. It wasn't too long before it all blew up in his face. No, the bomb literally blew up not too far away from him.
Wiz: Due to this, a piece of shrapnel was lodged in Tony's heart and he was captured by terrorists in Afghanistan. They gave him two options: build weapons for them and receive medical assistance or die.
Boomstick: But neither of those are the Stark way, so Tony made a third option. He built a pacemaker out of what little he had and built a suit around it. This is where one of Marvel's most iconic heroes was made. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Iron Man, the Golden Avenger.
Wiz: Pretty much murdering his way out Afghanistan and back to America, Tony eventually became invested in the Iron Man idea and built suit after suit.
Boomstick: But his favorite suit is his trusty Model 13 armor A.K.A. the Modular Armor. Made of a gold and titanium alloy, this baby comes with anti-tank missiles, and EMP, explosive darts, force fields, a friggin' energy blade, and sonic blasts. It can also create toxic clouds and turn invisisible. But by far his most iconic attack is his signature attack, the Repulsor Blast.
Wiz: The repulsor blast draws power from the device in Tony's chest which can be concentrated to fire from the palms of his hand. But when Iron Man gets serious, he can fire a large beam out of his chest named the Unibeam.
Boomstick: He even built one for his best friend, James Rhodes A.K.A. War Machine.
Wiz: Who has a bit of trouble with consistency. One minute, a butler, and the next he's dead. Beccause comics.
Boomstick: Well, Tony's suit can lift up to at least 100 tons, casually fly five times faster than the speedof sound which is about 3,750 miles per hour, and even comes with a robot butler named Jarvis. What a snooty name.
Wiz: Named after his late butler, J.A.R.V.I.S. or Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, yes, that is the name, controls Tony's weaponry and can call his other suits. But when Tony needs a suit specifically to fight those large and powerful foes, he has the Model 14 armor A.K.A. the Hulkbuster.
Boomstick: An awesome suit made for fighting the Hulk, obviously, the suit is formed around the Modular Armor and is capable of taking hits from the Green Goliath himself. Wonder if I can make something like that.
Wiz: You? With a Hulkbuster? That is...actually terrifying.
Boomstick: Think about it, Wiz."Hey, you can't take that beer without pay-...take all of the beer, sir, just don't hurt me."
Wiz: Ugh...anyways,even without the Hulkbuster, Iron Man is still a foe to be reckoned with. He's taken hits from Thor, Hulk, Sentry, Doctor Doom, and several others, went fast enough to make Sentry compliment him, and has an intellect that rivals that of some of the smartest beings in the Marvel multiverse, including Mr. Fantastic and Victor von Doom. But there's one more armor that makes Tony seemingly unstoppable. The Marques Armor.
Boomstick: This allows him to travel at faster than light speeds and enhances all of his other features. It can absorb energy sources to make itself stronger.
Wiz: It also enhances all his other functions, controls attack drones, can create black holes, etc. It can even morph into Tony's other suits.
Boomstick: Tony at this point is more like some sort of robotic god than an actual human, but there are several faults with him.
Wiz: He is arrogant and reckless to a fault often leading to him being the dark horse and outcast of the Avengers. Like that one time when he wants the Avengers to stop getting involved in matters that are not their own.
Boomstick: And that just led to a whole bunch of stuff with Captain America, Scarlet Witch, and Bucky killing Tony's parents, it was crazy...but a good movie. A damn good movie.
Wiz: Tony is also known to push both his body and his armor to limits that they simply can not reach leading them to run out of power. Also, his armor has been known at times to malfunction.
Boomstick: There's even one time where he built a giant machine that had over three times of all the Earth's nuclear energy combined just because he wanted to see what was at the core. Plus, despite its name the Hulkbuster rarely, if ever, busts the Hulk.
Wiz: But despite his faults, Tony Stark will push his body and armor to the absolute limit to save all of mankind...while enjoying some alcohol.
Boomstick: Now that's something I could get behind.
Wiz: Of course you could.
Iron Man: I'm the most intelligent capable person on this planet. I'm not playing God. All this time...I've been playing human.
Pre-Death Battle[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTTLEEEE!
Pre-Fight[]
Setting: Manhattan, New York City; Stark Industries
The tower of Stark Industries stood over Manhattan like a large reminder of superiority over the little people of the city/ Inside the several-story tall building was a man pacing back and forth along a room with a large television inside of it. This was Anthony Edward Stark, also known as Tony Stark, but most knew him as Iron Man.
He was warily watching something on the news about his old nemesis, the Mandarin, in Japan. The news reporter was announcing the destruction he was causing.
Tony: He just doesn't learn, does he? J.A.R.V.I.S.?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Your suit is on the way, sir.
Suddenly, a familiar gold and red suit came flying through the room and around Tony's body. He was about to leave when he saw something...strange on the TV.
A bald man walked up to the villain and punched him. Surprisingly, the Mandarin...exploded. It sprayed blood everywhere while the man just walked off like he hadn't a care in the world.
Tony: ...Okay, that was weird. Now I really need to go.
He stopped and hesitated for a while.
Tony: I'm going to have to cancel that date with Pepper tonight...shit...J.A.R.V.I.S., make up an excuse.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Already sent, sir.
Tony: Thanks, you're the best.
With that, Tony Stark pressed a button which opened the roof of his massive building and flew out at speeds that dwarfed sound towards Japan.
Setting: Z-City
The bald man who decimated the Mandarin walked into his small apartment room with blood on his gloved fist and started to reach for the remote with his unstained hand. He was around average height with a yellow jumpsuit and red boots with red gloves, and a white cape.
But by far, his most distinguishable feature was his smooth, bald head. It was almost unnatural how shiny it was as the light from his lightbulb reflected off of it.
Although he may have looked weak, this was the man who could kill most beasts in a single strike of his fist: Saitama.
He turned on the television and laid down on his small cot. The hero flipped through several varying television shows, commercials, and news reports until he finally got to his favorite anime. When it started to get good, it was interrupted by a emergency warning on the TV.
Saitama: Why is it when it starts getting good, something has to happen?
The news reporter was downtown in Z-City reporting a giant truck monster attacking people. Saitama sighed and got up.
Saitama: Maybe it'll come on later tonight.
Setting: Abandoned Downtown Z-City
Random Truck Monster: Fufufu! This puny humans don't know my power! Fufu-
The monster's cackle was cut off by being punched and being blasted at the same time; as a result, the monster seemingly imploded on itself, sending its remains all over. After the blood was done flying through the air, the two heroes stared each other down.
Saitama: Uh...who are you?
Tony: Name's Iron Man. I came here from America to ask you a question. Did you kill a guy with a beard today?
Saitama: Yeah...why?
Tony: Well, that was my guy. And I don't kill.
Saitama: Well, I do. Especially since he was killing other people.
Tony: Still, this won't go by unpunished.
Saitama: Can I go? I have groceries to pick up.
Suddenly, Tony fired a quick repulsor blast at the hero, which he simply blocked with his hand.
Saitama: Now you're pissing me off.
Tony: I had to cancel a dinner date, pal. I'm gonna make you pay.
Saitama: Just try it.
Fight![]
Part One: We Do It for Fun, Not Fame[]
Saitama threw the first hit, expecting the fight to be over then. His fist came in contact not with Tony's armor, but an energy field. The attack broke the temporary defense sending the One Punch Man back a bit. This allowed Tony to fire a few anti-tank missiles at the bald man to put him down. When the missiles came on contact, a large explosion was produced.
Tony: Maybe I went a little too far on the poor guy.
J.A.R.V.I.S: On your right, sir.
Tony: Wait, wha-
Iron Man's neck was nearly snapped by the sheer force behind Saitama's punch sending him flying through an abandoned building. Saitama groaned in disappointment as he shook his head slowly.
Saitama: All those tools and only one punch again.
Saitama turned around to walk away when he was shot in the back numerous time by a hail of bullets. He turned around and saw the Golden Avenger flying, damaged but not down for the count.
Tony: Alright, J.A.R.V.I.S, what's this guy's deal? Robot? Alien?
J.A.R.V.I.S: Actually, sir, he is a human.
Tony: A metahuman?
J.A.R.V.I.S: No, sir. Just a regular human.
Tony: That sounds like...a load of absolute shit.
Saitama eventually dodged the rain of bullets and jumped in the air to finish the fight. He started to pull his head back for a headbutt, but Iron Man was fast enough to dodge and fire back with a repulsor blast sending the bald man crashing to the ground and creating a decent sized hole in the pavement.
Saitama laid in the crater, more so confused than he was hurt. This...robot had come all the way from America and was proving to be quite the challenge.
In one quick motion, he got up on his feet and clenched his fist. This was going to be fun.
Tony: Alright, J.A.R.V.I.S, what are we at?
J.A.R.V.I.S: Power is at 90% and dropping at a slow pace, sir.
Tony: Good enough. I got a plan.
Tony Stark flew full speed at Saitama, giving the One Punch Man the impression he was charging for a punch or a kick.
He wasn't.
Instead, some sort of energy blade formed around the Avenger's hand and was swung right for the stomach of Saitama. Fortunately for Z-City's hero, he narrowly moved back in time before he was gutted like a fish. Instead of hitting his opponent, he hit an abandoned building.
The blade cut straight through the building like a hot knife through butter. As a result, the building collapsed in on itself scattering dust and debris everywhere. Saitama struggled to see past the dust, but he could not and stopped to close his eyes.
Tony, thanks to his suit, could see clearly through the fog and see that Saitama's eyes were closed. He fired an anti-tank missile at him expecting the fight to be over.
Saitama opened his eyes once he heard the sound of the missile and he did something that shocked Tony Stark down to his core.
He bit the missile into pieces.
It didn't get a chance to explode before Saitama sunk his teeth into it shattering it into pieces. And that was the strangest part. The strangest part about all of this was...
...he was smiling.
Saitama: Hey! That actually hurt a little bit! Keep it up!
In his shock, Tony failed to notice the One Punch Man speeding towards him. Instinctively, he jumped back and delivered a repulsor blast right to his face.
Tony: Alright, you want me to keep it up?
All of the Iron Man's weapons appeared: guns, missiles, sonic blasts, and whatever else was aimed straight for Saitama.
Tony: Be careful what you wish for. Cause you just might get it!
Suddenly, all of the attacks were let loose towards Saitama who didn't react fast enough and was hit head-on by the attack. He started to feel pain...but also excitement.
Was this "Iron Man" truly the fight he's been waiting for?
The attack was brutal and lasted a total of ten seconds when Iron Man finally called the attack off. To his surprise, Saitama was still standing there.
Saitama: You got my hopes up! Don't disappoint me now!
Tony: What in the actu-ok, now you're starting to scare me.
Tony fired several missiles at Saitama who dodged them all. As a result, several buildings were completely decimated.
Tony: Damn it, that's gonna take quite a bit out of my wallet.
Saitama shot for Iron Man, hitting him right in his reactor, causing him to fall back a bit into a building. Tony Stark shook it off and
Setting: Z-City
A teenage cyborg with blond hair and robotic arms and legs was clothed in an apron to clean the toilet. This was Saitama's apprentice/sidekick, Genos.
A large boom made his sensors go crazy as he quickly spun around doing a full 360. He ran to the window and looked out to see a large mushroom cloud. Genos' eyes widened as he then turned towards the door.
Saitama: Sensei must be in trouble! As his disciple, I can not allow him to get hurt!
He threw off the apron and dashed away towards the fight leaving the toilet spotless.
Setting: Back at the Fight
Tony flew towards Saitama ready to unleash a brutal, metal punch to the jaw while he was distracted by an ad on the ground about a sale at the supermarket when suddenly...
Genos: Machine Gun Blows!
J.A.R.V.I.S: Power at 65% and depleting.
Iron Man reeled back as he was hit by a flurry of punches hitting him seemingly all at once. As he staggered back, he realized his attacker was not Saitama...but a cyborg. A teenage cyborg. Iron Man put his hands on his hips and shook his head.
Tony: Sending in a kid for your fights? Now that's low!
Saitama: Wait, wha-
Saitama turned to his right and saw Genos standing there, in a battle-ready position.
Saitama: Genos, what are you doing here?
Genos: I heard an explosion, Sensei-
Saitama: Don't call me that!
Genos: -and I rushed to help.
Saitama: If I needed your help, I would've asked!
Tony: So we're bringing in teammates now? Cool. J.A.R.V.I.S?
J.A.R.V.I.S: Sir?
Tony: Call Rhodey.
Setting: Stark Towers
A man walked through Stark Towers with an aura of confidence. Most would feel intimidated by Stark, but if you knew him, he was pretty friendly. Such was the case with War Machine.
James: So, J.A.R, Tony needs some help?
J.A.R.V.I.S: Yes, sir.
James: Alright then. Guess it's time for me to suit up.
Rhodes' familiar gray suit came and stood behind him as he suited up and flew out,
Setting: Back at the Fight...Again.
Saitama: Fine, Genos! But this is the last time!
Genos: Thank you, Sensei!
Tony: So...are you two done fighting cause I got backup on the way.
A repulsor blast shot down from the sky towards the anime duo as they both leaped out of the way. War Machine had arrived.
Tony: Took you long enough.
James: Because flying from Manhattan to Japan only takes thirty seconds.
Both teams squared up, ready for the next round.
Part Two: Double the Fighters, Double the Fun![]
The team of metal attacked first flying full speed towards their opponents, repulsor blasts ready to fire.
James: Bombs away!
War Machine said this as he shot nonstop repulsor blasts at the anime duo who both managed to dodge at the same time.
Genos: These are fast opponents, Sensei...what do we do?
Saitama: Uh...split up?
Genos: Yes, Sensei!
Saitama (thinking): He actually bought it!
The two split up creating blurs around the whole battlefield not allowing Tony and James to see them. Suddenly, one of the blurs appeared above War Machine.
Genos: Machine Gun Blows!
The attack send Rhodes crashing down to the barren wasteland below.
Tony: James!
James: It's alright, Tony. I'm a litt-
He stopped mid-sentence when he saw Saitama's fist flying towards his chest. The force of the impact was so great, it sent War Machine flying several hundred feet in the air.
Saitama: Oh...he's weaker than the other one.
Tony: Rhodey, you alright?
War Machine struggled to get himself redadjusted in mid-air and began flying back down.
James: That bald dude hits hard! I haven't been that shell-shocked since that fight with Bruce!
He landed down on the destroyed battlefield and started to charge an attack from his back.
Missiles shot down from the sky like giant raindrops of death towards Saitama and Genos. Genos shot forward his arm towards the sky.
The two attacks collided in mid-air creating a scene that resembled fireworks but much more deadly. The results were sparks hailing down from the sky creating a blazing fire that surrounded the four fighters and went up past their heads.
James: Not exactly what I expected to happen...
Iron Man rushed in towards Genos and delivered a blow that crashed him into a burning building. He then turned around to dodge a shot from Saitama who in turn was shot in the head by War Machine.
The mechanical duo started to lay punch after punch on Saitama until he fell to one knee.
James; I think we got him, Tony!
Genos: Incineration Cannons!
Genos hopped out of the fire and lurched his arms foward.
His arms turned large and soon looked like a singular weapon that could put an atomic bomb to shame. The attack was quick yet devastating wiping out entire buildings in its path to hit Tony and James. The two were hit head on and struggled to fight back.
J.A.R.V.I.S: Power at 45% and depleting.
The fighters eventually flew their way out of the fire and into the air.
Genos: Sensei!
He turned over to Saitama who was turned the other direction. Once he heard his name called, he looked over to Genos; the cyborg was shocked.
The hero was not only damaged...
but he was bleeding.
(Sto Music)
His shirt was torn and a stream of blood flowed from his forehead.
Saitama: Genos, get out of the way.
Genos: B-
Saitama: Move!
The harsh command was more than enough to get Genos to back off. The cyborg stepped backward while the hero stepped forward.
Tony: What's this guy doing?
James: I don't know but I don't like it.
Saitama: You may have broken the skin...
He pounded his chest and flexed his muscles. The normally dopey look on his face was replaced with a more serious tone.
Saitama: ...but you haven't broken the spirit!
Suddenly, War Machine flew foward towards Saitama, energy blade drawn.
Tony: Rhodes, no!
War Machine swung at the air.
James: What the-
He looked behind him in horror as he saw Saitama's fist reeled back ready to kill.
The impact was devastating.
It seemed that the formerly mighty War Machine had just imploded on himself as the One Punch Man's fist connected with his stomach. Blood, guts, and machinery were strewn throughout the air as both Genos and Tony watched in shock.
Genos (thinking): So this is the extent of Sensei's true power.
Once he landed back on the ground, Saitama put on his dopey face again looked at the bloodshed.
Saitama: Looks like I went a little too far. Hey, sorry 'bout that.
He looked over at Iron Man who stood there not even reacting until he flew over and grabbed Genos by his neck.
Saitama: Wha-Genos!
Genos tried to fight back as Tony Stark flew him into the atmosphere then into space. He flew at speeds he never knew he could produce until he reached his destination: the Sun. Without a thought of hesitation, he threw Genos in the burning ball of gas.Genos was slowly burned up while Tony returned to Earth. When he was nearing the battlefield, he shed a single tear. He had killed a hero because of vengeance. He wanted to get this over with as quick as possible.
Tony: Call the Hulkbuster, J.A.R.V.I.S.
Saitama: Hey, what did you do with him?
Tony: He's in the Sun. He's dead.
Tony's words hit Saitama like a truck as he looked down on the ground. He had killed this man's friend at the cost of his own.
A roaring noise came from the sky as a larger, more bulky version of Tony's suit appeared.
It was the Hulkbuster.
Iron Man hopped into the suit where it all formed around him.
Tony: This has gone on long enough.
Saitama: I agree.
He clenched his fist.
Saitama: This is why I'll end it now.
The two jumped at each other both thinking the same thing.
Both (thinking): I'll destroy you for my friend, you bastard!
Part Three: Time To Get Serious: Hulkbuster vs. Serious Saitama![]
The two titans of power locked hits creating a powerful shockwave that blew out the raging fire. The large suit of armor lumbered forward to deliver a hit, but Saitama jumped out of the way as his fist made contact with the ground causing even the tallest buildings to crumble.
Setting: Hero's Association
Operators were scrambled all over the place, sending out heroes to herd the people out of the city, for the battle commencing so close to them would most definitely destroy their homes.
Tatsumaki, the Tornado of Terror, acted as her usual brash and moody self while leading the people to safety.
Tatsumaki: Come on, come on! We don't have all day! Those two idiots are going to destroy the whole country if they keep this up!
Meanwhile, from a tall building away from the fight stood a man dressed in all black watching the battle.
The ninja assassin, Speed of Sound Sonic, watched the battle warily.
Sonic (thinking): This is the true power of Saitama. He's able to fight threat like no one has ever seen before. If I faced him, I would most surely die.
Setting: Back to the Fight Again Again
Tony: Ok, let's see. He's fast but predictable. He hit me from the left side last so...
As Saitama came in to deliver a punch, the Hulkbuster's mighty mechanical arm swung around and hit him smack in the face sending him skidding on the rubble.
The Hulkbuster took this opportunity to run over to the fallen hero and leap on him like some sort of giant lion.
Phase Two?
Hit him till he could hardly breathe.
As he leaped on his foe, his fist connected with Satiama's face over and over and over.
Tony: Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep!
He said this over and over again as he hit Saitama harder and harder until the One Punch Man caught his fist and threw him off. It wasn't enough to get him off his his feet, but it was enough for him to lumber backwards.
Saitama (thinking): So he's big and strong, but he's slow. So...
Suddenly, it seemed like Saitama had split up into multiple copies of himself. They all automatically jumped towards Iron Man in a sidestep fashion.
Tony: Wha-
He had no time to finish his sentence before Saitama shot his bald head forward towards his enemy and him straight in the pacemaker.
The shot took away the giant's balance but once again, he was still on his feet.
Saitama (thinking): This has turned into a fight where only one of us can walk out alive. I should be focused more. But behind my expression, I feel a mixture of both excitement and rage.
J.A.R.V.I.S: 34% power and depleting, sir.
Tony: Ok, ok, ok. So he can go toe-to-toe with the Hulkbuster. But how many can he take out at once?
J.A.R.V.I.S: What are you implying, sir?
Tony: J.A.R.V.I.S...call backup.
J.A.R.V.I.S: Backup is on the way.
Tony: Alright. Now just to keep Cailou over here distracted long enough.
He lifted up his bulky hand as it glowed a bright blue. He fired the repulsor blast at his foe which simply died out as soon as it touched him. In response, Saitama simply crouched down and dug his hands under the pavement.
Saitama: Serious Tableflip!
He suddenly jerked up with a mighty force ripping the ground up and sending debris flying everywhere. A large chunk of concrete hit Iron Man on his suit's head causing him to stumble back a little bit.
Tony: Come on, come on, hurry up!
As soon as he muttered this, several suits came flying down from the sky. The Bleeding Edge, the Model 42, etc. were all standing before Saitama as he muttered one thing to himself.
Saitama: HOW MANY ARMORS DO YOU NEED?!
Tony: Oh, I don't need all of them. Just ones to beat you.
Like some sort of king, Iron Man lifted up his hand and the suits followed towards the direction. They sped for Saitama. Fast.
An energy blade cut his left cheek while a sonic wave shot him backwards. It was absolute pandemodium for the hero as he didn't know how to handle this. He grunted as a punch from a suit sent him reeking back.
Saitama: Serious Consecutive Punches!
A flurry of arms came out of nowhere as all of Iron Man's suits suddenly were destroyed in a single fashion. By the time it was over. He looked over at Iron Man who stood completely still.
Tony: Who ar-...no. What are you?
Saitama put on a cocky smile.
Saitama: Just a guy who's a hero for fun.
This enraged Iron Man. How dare he treat this fight like a joke? Does he have no compassion, no morals? He just killed his friend, and he's still got that same dopey look.
The Hulkbuster ran at Saitama trying to get in a punch. Saitama smiled and jumped into the air and reeled back his fist...
CRUNCH!
Saitama's fist went straight through the Hulkbuster, just narrowly avoiding Tony's head.
J.A.R.V.I.S: Self-destruct in three. Two. One.
(Stop music)
Just in the nick of time, Iron Man jumped out of the Hulkbuster and onto the ground. As the Hulbuster exploded, his armor started to fall off and chip away until it was just him. Anthony Edward Stark. A dead slience filled the air as the two stared each other down.
Saitama: So..this is who you really are.
Tony: Yep. Just little, old Tony.
Saitama: Before I punch you, I have to ask. Why are you doing this?
Tony: You see, Saitama, right? Being a hero is hard work, but you can't just go off and kill people like you just did. There are laws. Morals. You're not some mighty god who decides when each person's time is up. And that's why I'm here. You think you're some god in a man's body...well, let me ask you something. What's a god...to a nonbeliever?
Deadpool (Off-Screen): Nice try trying to be all deep!
Hey!
Saitama: That's where you're wrong. I'm not a god, not anywhere close. I don't have a lot of money, I get little to no recognition, and I'm still alone. But I don't act all high and mighty like you. So who are you to talk down to me?
He shot a punch towards Iron Man's way only for it to be caught by an armored hand. During his speech, Saitama failed to realize Tony was getting suited up. The last thing he saw before his face was covered by the armor was a solemn face.
Tony: I'm sorry I have to do this to you.
The Marques Armor had arrived.
Saitama: Fine. Let's end this before more people get hurt.
The two heroes prepared themselves once again. On this day, a champion will fall.
Part Four: The Final Bout: This Is Who I Am! Witness My All![]
The Marques Armor's power caused the ground to tremble with all of its insane power
Iron Man: You're witnessing me in all my true power. There's no way you can win.
Saitama looked blankly for a moment then looked Iron Man straight in the eye.
Slightly miffed that was all he had to say, Iron Man attacked first pulling back his fist and hitting Saitama straight in his face causing him to draw blood and lose a few teeth. Saitama responded by kicking him in the chest causing the Iron Man to fly back a bit. The two lept at each other and started to trade blows each one missing until they both hit each other in the face.
Saitama was the first one to recover from the blow jumping back and shaking his head. He then looked up and smiled.
Saitama: You're like no other I've ever fought, Tony!
Tony: Shut up about that "you're the strongest I've ever fought" crap!
Enraged, Iron Man headbutted Saitama violently drawing much blood. The One Punch Man grabbed Iron Man by the arm and threw him into a building.
J.A.R.V.I.S: Power at 15% and depleting.
Tony: Not for long.
Iron Man flew out of the building, raised his hand up, and chuckled. As Saitama wondered what he was doing, a beam of blue energy flew into Iron Man's palm. The force caused the ground to shake slightly causing the dust to rise. When Saitama lowered his hands from his eyes, he saw the Marques Armor sparkling with electricity and looking extra powerful, despite the scratches and bruises.
The Caped Baldy ran towards Tony Stark preparing for a punch, but the latter dodged and grabbed him by the leg. He threw him in the air and fired a beam at him. The beam exploded on Saitama's back causing it to destroy the fabric on it.
Tony: Last chance. Surrender or face the consequences.
Saitama: It's too late now to surrender.
He almost fell to the ground as he clumsily made his way to his feet.
Saitama: All we can do now is brawl until we can't anymore.
Iron Man stopped and for once, got a good look at his foe. He couldn't have been more than twenty-five despite his appearance. What was he doing? Why was he beating this man to the verge of death? Why did he kill his sidekick?
Iron Man raised his hand.,,then lowered it again.
Tony: This has gone far enough. Face it, you're outclassed. You've got a whole life ahead of you. I already killed once...I won't it again.
Saitama's face hardened at the thought of Genos.
Saitama: He was only nineteen, you heartless bastard!
With anger in his heart and fighting back the tears, Saitama ripped into Iron Man as he had never done to anyone, not even Boros.
Saitama (thinking): I blew him off every chance I got. He spent his time to train under me when I knew nothing. Genos...I won't let you down!
J.A.R.V.I.S: Power at 57% and depleting rapidly.
Tony (thinking): Soon as I mentioned that kid, he snapped. I gotta get him off.
Iron Man was lucky as Saitama stopped for a split second to catch his breath and then knocked him against his jaw. The blow staggered Saitama a bit as he slowly fell back giving Iron Man enough time to morph into a Hulkbuster.
The metal goliath walked over to the Caped Baldy and gave him a punch that even Saitama couldn't shake off.
The blow was swift but brutal and it sent Saitama scraping across the floor back even farther. Iron Man walked over and lent a hand towards Saitama.
(Stop Music)
Tony: Dammit, stop! This has gone too far! I don't want to fight you anymore! Look at what we've done!
Saitama loked around the battlefield and saw buildings that were completely obliterated and smoke rising from some of them.
Saitama looked back towards Tony and chuckled.
Saitama: Like I said before, I will finish this. CONSECUTIVE SERIOUS PUNCHES!
(Resume)
He ripped back his arm and gave Tony multiple hits that caused dents to appear in the armor and caused it to crumble and chip. The Golden Avenger caught one of the fist, but it was in vain as another struck him right in his face.
Tony J.A.R.V.I.S, cloak!
Suddenly, Anthony suddenly disappeared and Saitama quickly looked confused. Where did he go?
Almost instantly, a heavy right hook hit Saitama in the side of his face and another hit him in his mid-section. The Hero for Fun tried to block a hit, but it ultimately failed as he was hit with a sonic boom erupting out of seemingly nowhere. The Caped Baldy landed on his exposed back and was caught by a few sharp pieces of debris. What do you do against an enemy you can't even see? Then, he got an idea.
Saitama: Serious Tableflip!
Once again, Saitama dug his gloved hands under the hard surace of the earth and flipped it upwards. The debris shot in front of him as he quickly kicked one of them, hoping to get a lucky shot.
CLANK!
Direct hit.
The blow briefly made Iron Man's cloaking device flicker, and it was enough for Saitama to get ahead.
Saitama ran towards what he thought was the armor and hit it with enough force to make it visible for a few seconds. He hit again making it appear for long enough to muster a Serious Headbutt that finally knocked the goliath off of its feet.
Iron Man turned back to the swifter Marques Armor to narrowly avoid a stomp from the Caped Baldy. Saitama had his foot lodged in the ground as the Iron Man quickly punched him in his back causing him to fall over. When he got his foot out of the rubble, he turned around to see Tony's energy blade, aiming right for his head. Saitama side-stepped, but only narrowly, as the blade quickly brushed against his head causing him to bleed.
A series of gas clouds suddenly emerged from Iron Man as Saitama sniffed and shook his head.
Saitama: Dude, that's disgusting!
He then started to cough a bit, eventually upgrading to gagging. He fell to his knees and coughed out...a piece of food?
Saitama: This has been stuck in my throat all day. Gross.
Tony: ...The hell?
Saitama flicked it away as he failed to notice Iron Man running towards him. By the time he turned around, it was too late; Iron Man had chucked him into orbit. Saitama flew past asteroids, stars, and satellites as he finally reached the Moon.
Saitama (thinking): Not this place again.
Iron Man flew at top speeds that dwarfed the speed of light towards the Moon using his sensors to guide him towards Saitama sitting on the moon watching the Earth rotate. The two stared each other down for a while until they again started to brawl. A hefty blow was delivered to Iron Man's side as Saitama was hit by a powerful repulsor blast that made him stagger. Saitama was still holding his breath by the time Iron Man delivered another blow to his mid-section.
After a while, the Hero for Fun punched Iron Man so hard that he rocketed towards Earth. Saitama seemed to crouch and then use his leg power to jump towards the Earth. The two met on the way and once again started to fight until Saitama was hit and sent flying towards the ground, thousands of feet below.
As Saitama hit the ground creating a thud that could be heard for miles, Iron Man stayed in the air hovering about fifty feet from his opponent.
Tony: Ok. This is your last, last, last chance. Surrender.
Saitama did a kip up and smiled.
Saitama: I'd rather die than surrender.
Tony: Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. Goodbye.
Iron Man's core started to glow a bright blue as Saitama stood there in awe and fear. Suddenly, he heard a voice.
Genos: Sensei...
Saitama: Genos!?
The ghostly apparation of the Blonde Cyborg appeared by Saitama, not yet turning to look at him.
Genos: I've tried my best to be like you, Master Saitama...and I failed. This foe is beyond a level either of us have ever seen before. However, I believe in you. True power not only resides in strength, but also in the heart. Saitama...for me, the people of Z-City, and yourself, take this bastard down!
Saitama: Genos...thank you.
J.A.R.V.I.S: Sir...is this truly the action you want to do?
Tony: There's sadly no other choice. Unibeam, fire!
A cerluean beam of pure, raw energy erupted from Iron Man's chest as it headed straight for Saitama.
Saitama: I have to give it my all! SERIOUS PUNCH!
The beam hit with the fist making an epic clash of man vs. machine. The sheer force of the two colliding split the clouds on a global level and caused a large earthquake everywhere within 2,700 miles of the fight.
A true battle between warriors who saved people not because they didn't have anything better to do, but because they needed to.
An explosion happened soon afterward completely blocking view of the brawl.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
(Stop Music)
A groan was heard as the smoke cleared. The area was destroyed, but fortunately, everyone was gone far before the destruction.
A Hero lay on the floor coughing up blood.
It was Saitama.
Iron Man rushed over quickly to help him.
Tony: Breathe, damn it! I know you can do this, just breathe!
He pumped on his chest before Saitama spoke.
Saitama: It's too late for me now. Iron Man...I thank you. You gave me a fight that I've been longing for my entire exsistence as a hero. I pass on to the other side grateful. I only ask that you watch over the city for me...thank you...
Iron Man sat on his knees as the head part of his armor was gone. He cried without stopping.
Tony: Saitama...I'll watch over this city for you.
Saitama gave one last smile before he passed on.
"Thank You."
Results[]
Tony is seen putting Saitama's body in a makeshift tomb then flying off.
Setting: Avengers Headquarters; A month after the fight
Tony Stark walked over to Steve Rogers with a solemn look on his face.
Tony: I...have to go.
He had told Steve the information a while ago. The captain completely understood.
Steve: I'm sorry this happened, Tony.
Tony nodded as his suit formed around him. He flew off towards Japan to become their new hero.
Analysis[]
Boomstick: Iron Man has the best luck with bald guys, I swear. Also, we're in a bunker because there are some pretty pissed off Saitama fans out there; I just have a bad feeling this is going to be the next Goku vs. Superman. Just hold on and let us explain ourselves. Then hate on us. Now, I know what you're all thinking. "You only added the Marques Armor so Iron Man could win!"
Wiz: While this is what some might lead you to believe, the truth is, it would almost be uncanny for Iron Man to go into a battle against a powerful opponent without his strongest suit. It's a vital part of his equipment.
Boomstick: Saying that is like saying the only reason why Natsu beat Ace is because you allowed Natsu to eat fire.
Wiz: I mean, I guess. However, this does not mean Saitama didn't have a chance. Against the Modular Armor, Saitama could potentially beat Tony.
Boomstick: While Saitama is faster and stronger during Tony in his Modular Armor, said armor took hits from Hulk and Sentry. Now we've already discussed Hulk's planet-punching feats before, but we haven't said much about Sentry who has the power of a million exploding suns and fought Thor! But if Saitama got one good punch in, it wouldn't be unreasonable to say bye to Tony.
Wiz: But what you have to consider is that Saitama never tries his absolute best unless it is absolutely necessary. He's cocky and will sometimes just play around with his foe. And we'll cover trying his best later. Also, Saitama is an up-close fighter while Tony lies to stand his ground and attack from there. Considering Saitama's method of attack, it's very unlikely he would automatically run up to Iron Man and go from there. Even then, Iron Man has been able to fight evenly with Thor in this armor.
Boomstick: Now let's go on to the Hulkbuster. While it's not designed to actually beat Bruce, it is designed to temporarily contained the Green Goliath who managed to destroy a planet in his clash with Red-She Hulk and can match both Thor and Sentry. "Oh, but Wiz, Saitama survived a black hole!"
Wiz: That wasn't even a black hole. More like some sort of vacuum. It was truly a black hole, everything would have been sucked up.
Boomstick: Meanwhile, Tony has his own black hole feat, where he actually escaped the gravitational pull of one, putting him well over faster than light speeds.
Wiz: However, Saitama has fought the star-destroying Boros in a clash before although it never said the size of said star. For the sake of easiness, we'll say he's able to destroy a fairly large star. But we also don't know the full extent of Saitama's powers.
Boomstick: We'll say he was using about 1% of his true power. So if we multiply the force it takes to destroy said giant star, which is...uh...Wiz?
Wiz: 350 Tenatons or 5.353 x 10 to the 35th power tonnes of TNT.
Boomstick: Damn it, Wiz, in English!
Wiz: *Sigh* Lots of TNT.
Boomstick: Yeah...that's much better. So multiply the force it takes to destroy the star times 100 and you get Saitama being being about multi-star level at best. But that's only if you really think Saitama used 1% of his power, which to be honest, is pretty unlikely.
Wiz: So far, Saitama would be able to defeat the Modular Armor and maybe the Hulkbuster. So if Saitama did indeed place his power at multi-star, it wouldn't be enough to conquer the Marques.
Boostick: Among all of Tony's regular armors, it's been stated that it's one of his most powerful armors, even rising above the likes of the World War Hulkbuster. So at least solar system level and it has been proven that it is faster than light. And hell, we're not even including the Thorbuster who really would've kicked his ass!
Wiz: Saitama, on the other hand, is lacking in speed feats besides the moon feat. Now, if we once again say he jumped from the Moon using 1% of his power, this would put him at faster than light speeds. Other words, roughly in the same rate as the Marques. Then there's the limiter argument.
Boomstick: Saitama, yes, broke his limiter. However, it doesn't mean he can be hyperversal whenever he feels like it. It means he can get as strong as he wants through more training. The same can be said for Tony. He can build more and more suits that make him stronger.
Wiz: Both are no doubt great heroes with one coming on to the modern screen and the other being around for a while, but when it comes down to it, only one can win in a Death Battle.
Boomstick: Ultimately, Iron Man's superior fighting style, weapons, and hax won him the fight. Looks like Saitama was beaten to the punch. I just hope this angry Mob goes away.
Wiz: The winner is, once again, Iron Man.
Winner: Tony Stark
- + More Experienced
- + More Durable
- + Smarter
- + Marques Armor was all around better
- + More Versatile
- + Better Fighting Style
- - Modular 13 is weaker
- - Hulkbuster is slower and possibly weaker
Loser: Saitama
- + Stronger than Modular 13
- + Possibly stronger than Hulkbuster and faster
- - Less experienced
- - Rarely goes all out in the beginning
- - Less intelligent
- - Less durable
- - Inferior to Marques Armor
Next Time[]
Boomstick: NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE!
A young woman is seen running from an unknown entity as she reaches a lake. She turns around and screams as the screen turns black. The lake is seen with the water bubbling under it and a dark red spreading. The body of the young woman rises to the surface as a large man with a hockey mask and a machete emerges.