|Godzilla vs. EVA-01|
|Season 4, Episode 15|
|Air date||August 8th, 2015|
|Vincent Valentine vs. DmC!Dante||Zelos Wilder vs. Lucina (Season 5 Premiere)|
Toho VS Gainax! In a battle between the most iconic kaiju and the famous Evangelion unit, who will prevail? Can Tokyo survive this showdown of massive proportions?
Wiz: Tokyo - for some reason, home to many monsters and mechs capable of worldwide cataclysm.
Boomstick: Sometimes I wonder why Japan makes these guys attack, well Japan. Like Godzilla, the King of the Monsters!
Wiz: And Shinji Ikari, the First Child and the pilot of the Evangelion Unit-01.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick...
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor, and skills... to see who would win in a fight to the death.
Boomstick: But you know who doesn't win?
Wiz: Pop quiz: This character has fought against some of the most powerful beings in its universe, is extremely difficult to kill, has been killed in stupid ways before, and leaves destruction wherever he goes. Any guesses?
Boomstick: Hmm... Superman from that Man of Steel movie?
Wiz: Close, but it's actually none other than the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla. Standing at over 100 meters tall, and weighing over 90,000 tons, Godzilla is unarguably the most famous kaiju ever to come out of Japan.
Boomstick: But right before that, America decided to use their bombs of nationalism on Japan in the year 1954. Then, everyone realized just how much of a mistake that was when an aquatic lizard was mutated by nuclear energy. Then he began to either destroy Japan, or help it out. You can never really be sure.
Wiz: Thanks to his mutation, Godzilla gives off a deadly radiation that contaminates all sort of life around him, and can render an entire city block uninhabitable with his presence alone.
Boomstick: Talk about more than just a taste of what you paid for! The Americans weren't happy with just bombin' the fuck out of 'em, so they awakened a giant radioactive lizard to wreak havoc on 'em too?!
Wiz: If his radioactive presence weren't enough, he also loves to use brute force to take down anyone who is audacious enough to attack him - which, for some reason, happens to include a wide amount of monsters.
Boomstick: So what does he do to take 'em down? Well, he usually just likes to use his teeth, claws, and tail. But for some unexplained reason, he is really fuckin' good at Judo and Kickboxing! And defying gravity! Somehow.
Wiz: But Godzilla's signature attack is none other than the famous Atomic Breath, which is said to be made out of nuclear plasma. You know what else is made out of nuclear plasma? The sun, which at its core, is about fifteen million degrees degrees at the core.
Boomstick: Godzilla just loves to use that Atomic Breath of his! It melts, burns, or just blasts the shit out of anything that Godzilla fires it at! Oh, and that blue laser beam he's firing out of his mouth? Yeah, that's just his Atomic Breath at its weakest.
Wiz: After... somehow... absorbing Rodan's soul, he gained a new ability with the Atomic Breath. The blue color would change to red, and it would take a name known as the Red Spiral Ray. The Red Spiral Ray is so powerful that it was able to take down SpaceGodzilla in only a few shots, as well as powerful enough to one-shot lesser kaiju.
Boomstick: So... some guys in space just thought that Godzilla wasn't strong enough, so they made a space alien clone of him?!
Wiz: Yes, SpaceGodzilla was designed to actually be stronger and better than Godzilla. Which he was, until, that is, the Big G defeated him in battle.
Boomstick: That's right, Godzilla is better than better than himself. Godzilla should now also be named the King of Paradoxes.
Wiz: In addition to Godzilla's strength, which is enough to throw the 150 thousand-ton MechaGodzilla several thousand feet vertically and horizontally, as well as his superhuman durability that allows him to tank giant life-wiping meteors at point-blank range, Godzilla has a very powerful healing factor. Any sort of wounds that Godzilla endures will be healed within minutes or even seconds, and once even regenerated from nothing but a beating heart.
Boomstick: If that's a really cheesy love metaphor, I'm fucking done.
Wiz: Well... no word on whether it was or not, but as impressive as this feat was, it took him over a decade to fully regenerate and as such will be counted as an instant loss if he is reverted to this state. Moving on, Godzilla also possesses some magnetic properties, and can absorb natural lightning to add to his own power. However, man-made electricity is one of Godzilla's weaknesses.
Boomstick: But in case he wants to do some other impossible thing that'll help him in battle, he'll turn himself into some giant magnet! Hey... kinda reminds me...
Wiz: Godzilla also has a... unique method of flight. No seriously, he will literally fire himself as a living rocket using nothing but his atomic breath as propulsion. Which, at minimum, would put the firing power of the Atomic Breath at 38 trillion PSI.
Boomstick: But contrary to popular belief, Godzilla is NOT slow! He's shot down meteors all the way in space from way too far away to realistically hit! He's also reacted to massively faster-than-light beings and been able to fight against them, so Godzilla is pretty damn fast when he wants to be.
Wiz: In addition to this, Godzilla also has a little-known super form, known as, you guessed it, Super Godzilla. This new form is acquired when Godzilla eats three Super S capsules, and gives him an incredible boost in strength, speed, and durability. It also increases his size and weight, making him an even harder opponent to push around.
Boomstick: In his super form, Godzilla gets an even more powerful version of his signature atomic breath, can charge up his tail or his fist with energy to Falcon Punch his enemies to death, and he can even fire a beam from his chest that totally didn't rip off of Iron Man.
Wiz: Speaking of Iron Man, there was a short period of time in which Godzilla was a part of the Marvel Universe... and was one of the most powerful threats around. The Avengers and the X-Men did little to even slow him down, and he matched Thor in strength and even defeated Hulk... in one attack.
Boomstick: Seriously, this guy's feats are insane. He's survived a point-blank meteor coming toward Earth, survived the Absolute Zero Cannon, defeated 10 monsters in a row in Final Wars, lifted and threw Keizer Ghidorah, who weighs even more than Big G does! Hell, he even survived and escaped from a black hole-
Wiz: Now, let's get something clear here. That was not a black hole. A black hole would have obliterated the entire solar system within days, at the least. What Godzilla escaped from was simply a large gravity well. But moving on, Godzilla, being a primarily aquatic creature, is a very good swimmer and has defeated many monsters underwater. He holds a record of 44 wins, and only 9 losses and 7 ties. I'd say that's a pretty impressive track record.
Boomstick: But it's 10 losses if we include his loss against King Kong!
Wiz: No, no no no. That was NOT King Kong, that was Toho's own take on the character. The REAL King Kong is much smaller than that, and has no electrokinesis. Plus, the ONLY reason Godzilla lost was because King Kong was the more popular character at the time, so the battle really means nothing. However, thanks to his second brain, Godzilla is quite clumsy, and he is sensitive to light.
Boomstick: But hey, it's freaking GODZILLA. They had to give this guy a weakness somehow.
Wiz: The year was 2000. Cataclysm had struck the Earth after an event known as the Second Impact, and very few humans were left alive. What's worse, strange creatures known as Angels had began to come to Earth, attempting to kill what was left of humanity.
Boomstick: Miraculously, a year later a boy named Shinji Ikari was born. And he'd grow up to be a little bitch.
Wiz: To be fair, he WAS kinda forced into fighting the Angels in a giant mech, putting his life at risk. Oh, and this was at age 14, in the year 2015.
Boomstick: ...Holy hell, Wiz. That's this year! We're screwed. Well anyway, in the city of Tokyo-3 - seriously, they called it Tokyo-3 and couldn't be bothered to just call it Tokyo - Shinji was called in by a company called NERV to pilot the Evangelion Unit-01, but please, for the sake of simplicity, call it the EVA-01, or better yet, just the EVA.
Wiz: Shinji was tasked with a difficult decision, either let Rei Ayanami - who had been injured horribly - pilot the EVA-01, or do it himself despite his lack of experience. While he almost let the nearly-dead girl do it, he decided to take action and do it himself. Which almost cost him his life.
Boomstick: Then the EVA malfunctioned! Or so they thought. And killed the Angel!
Wiz: From there on, Shinji began living with Misato Katsuragi and Asuka Langley Soryu-
Boomstick: Why the hell was Shinji complaining?! He was living with a hot older chick who enjoys beer!
Wiz: That's... not the point. Moving on, the EVA-01 stands at two-hundred feet tall and weighs over sixty-two-thousand tons. It is strong enough to create craters in the ground with its kicks alone, and fast enough to run across an entire country in mere seconds.
Boomstick: And it's loaded up with weapons! It has the Progressive Knife, which is a giant knife that a regular human would never be able to hold, but is the perfect size for the EVA-01! It also can fold itself. He also has a handgun designed after the Desert Eagle, the EM-226 Evangelion Portable Revolving Multi-Barrel Machine Gun which not only has a long name but is styled after the M13 Minigun, and his favorite, the Pallet Gun, which fires steel darts and is modeled after the Steyr Combat Rifle.
Wiz: But the EVA also has very viable close-range weaponry as well. It has the Magoroku Exterminate Sword and the Counter Sword, which are sixty and thirty meters in length respectively. They are designed for the EVA-01 and can pierce through AT Fields, but more on those later.
Boomstick: He also has a chainsaw with two blades and a giant Swiss Army Knife which can be a giant blade, a missile launcher, and a machine gun.
Wiz: What has to be the EVA's strangest weapon is the Spear of Longinus, which is a dual-headed spear of metamorphic qualities that can reach relativistic speeds when thrown. It's over one-hundred feet long and over five-hundred tons.
Boomstick: But when Shinji really needs the firepower, he breaks out the Positron Sniper Rifle, which is extremely powerful but requires all the energy from Japan to be transferred to NERV to work.
Wiz: Positrons are an aftereffect of antimatter, which obliterates matter with the particles alone. Given that the gun requires all energy from Japan to be fired, it's easily capable of wiping out an entire area the size of Japan.
Boomstick: Damn. That's the kinda gun I want!
Wiz: However, the EVA-01 also isn't lacking in defense. Angels and EVA's alike are capable of generating AT Fields, which are essentially barriers made of the light of the soul. Their strength depends on how in-sync the pilot and the EVA are.
Boomstick: In-sync? Like, how well the pilot knows the controls?
Wiz: Sort of. Except the Evangelions are actually alive, and it's similar to the bond two people would have. Shinji's bond with the EVA-01 is so powerful his AT Field was able to tank Sahaquiel's Landing Impact, which has been estimated to be as destructive as 70.8 teratons of TNT.
Boomstick: So Shinji pilots a mecha that happens to be alive. That's fucking sweet!
Wiz: Most Angels and EVA's use their AT Fields to block attacks, but Shinji has managed to turn his AT Fields into a Green Lantern Power Ring of sorts. He can manipulate the AT Field into a fist that sends his opponents flying, or he can manipulate them in the shape of lasers to be fired out of the EVA's eyes. He can even use it as a blade-like extension of the EVA's limbs.
Boomstick: But strangest enough are the Cruciform Explosion and the Anti AT Field, where he uses the AT Field's power to blow stuff up.
Wiz: The name "Anti AT Field" hints at antimatter once more, and is powerful enough to wipe out a whole city. However, it does not affect non-standard organic material.
Boomstick: Well, that sucks.
Wiz: When Shinji is in danger, which, to be frank, happens quite frequently, the EVA-01 will take over and stop taking commands from anyone. It will then go out of its way to protect Shinji from harm, forgoing all sense of strategy completely. However, it will acquire a tremendously powerful healing factor and will also stop limiting its own power.
Boomstick: But even stranger is a transformation where the EVA-01's hands look like human hands! I mean, how do you explain that? But anyway, the Initial Arousal State happens when Shinji acquires a four-hundred percent synchronization with the EVA-01, and it gains more control of its AT Field. But what sucks is that any damage the EVA takes will then be reflected onto Shinji.
Wiz: However, it can even become stronger than this form with the Second State, or the Red Giant. Its power was enough to cause a theoretical Third Impact, which would have been even more than the near-life-wiping Second Impact.
Boomstick: And if that's not enough, he has a whole team of workers at NERV helping him out the whole time, giving him help with his opponents' weaknesses!
Wiz: Granted, they are rarely ever of any help, and even when they are, Shinji tends to not listen to them and instead listen to his own instinct. Not to mention the fact that most of them usually disagree and bicker with each other anyway.
Boomstick: Even though Shinji's a little bitch, he's accomplished some dangerous feats. He's killed many Angels, he became a Tree of Life, Kaworu said that Shinji is a better pilot than him, and he threw a spear into outer space and killed an angel with it!
Wiz: However, Shinji and the EVA are not perfect. Its weak point is the green core of its chest, which will kill the EVA if it is destroyed. Shinji also suffers from a lack of experience, being just a 14-year-old boy. Finally, the cost of maintenance and repairs of the EVA are extremely expensive, translating roughly into trillions of US dollars.
Boomstick: But when you're willing to pay trillions of dollars for a mech... you know it's worth it.
Shinji: What's wrong with running away from reality if it sucks?
(NOTE: It is highly recommended that you watch this before reading the battle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtUpWihJJJ4 It'll make everything make sense)
(Cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB1r6-p7cGc (Watch the video as well))
The opening sequence for Neon Genesis Evangelion began to play as if this battle were an episode. However, during the part where random words began to flash, the screen read "Godzilla", "ParaGoomba348", and "King of the Monsters".
After the song and opening ended, Shinji Ikari was seen walking around in a ravaged Tokyo-3. There were leveled buildings everywhere, crashed cars scattered about, the sea level was beginning to rise, and the whole city had to be evacuated to higher ground. Shinji was no exception, and he had been called to Tokyo-3 by his father, for an unknown reason.
But then it hit him - was Gendo going to have him pilot the robot again? The thought absolutely horrified Shinji. He remembered all the times he had to pilot the mech, and how nerve-wracking it was being humanity's hope.
Why couldn't it be anyone else? Shinji asked himself, and would ask himself any time he got into the mech.
Unfortunately for Shinji, however, it was common knowledge that he was, indeed, the greatest pilot in all of Tokyo-3, or the world. Asuka had her family issues, Rei often found herself getting injured, and Kaworu... Shinji just hated even thinking the guy's name.
After a few minutes of just standing around, Shinji approached a payphone - even though everyone had had mobile phones available to them for over a decade now, most of them had been useless with the angels around - and then he dialed his father's number.
"Is this the pizza man?" asked Gendo, Shinji's father.
"Uh, no, father." Shinji replied. "It's me, Shinji."
"Who?" asked Gendo.
Shinji sighed. "Father, it's your son! You know, the one who helped save Tokyo-3 all those times?"
Gendo was still on the phone, and he was shown to be laughing hysterically. "Ha! This random kid thinks he's my son!" He could hardly contain himself with his laughter. But then suddenly he stopped laughing. "I... DID put a-"
But then he was interrupted by one of the guys at NERV.
"Uh, Ikari?" began the NERV member.
Gendo turned toward him, then looked at the screen which displayed what was going on in Tokyo-3 at the time.
What they both saw was something that neither would have ever seen coming.
Coast of Tokyo-3
A large, green-black figure was swimming right underneath the surface of the Tokyo-3 waters, and it was heading right for the city.
Okay, "large" was an understatement - it was over two-hundred meters in length and about a third of that in width. It was approaching Tokyo-3 quickly and appeared to have been feeding off of the radiation the city was giving off.
These Impacts, they let off a lot of radiation. Just letting you readers know that.
Suddenly, the figure stepped out of the water and onto the ground of Tokyo-3.
It was none other than the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla.
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound, he pulled the spitting high-tension wires down. Helpless people on subway trains screamed bug-eyed as he looked in on them. He picked up a bus and he threw it back down as he waded through the buildings toward the center of town.
(Music is still playing, but faded)
Gendo and the NERV member continued watching the screen, but the monster had not yet become apparent to their cameras.
"Oh my God, it's Godzilla!" Gendo said in a joking manner, then laughed.
"Sir, Godzilla's a fictional-" The other member of NERV was about to tell Gendo that Godzilla was fictional, but then both their jaws dropped when they saw exactly what was on their screen.
It was, indeed, Godzilla.
"He's got to go." said the NERV member. "Ikari, get your worthless son over here. We need him to pilot the EVA."
Gendo took a deep breath, then remained motionless. "I'm pretty sure Katsuragi's picking him up right around now. I'll just tell her to bring him here. Or, y'know, she'll see Godzilla and bring him back here. It's the sensible thing to do."
The NERV member was sweating and shaking in fear. "Ikari, sir, how can you be so nonchalant about this?! That's Godzilla for Madoka's sake!"
Gendo still did not move, and instead of listening to the other NERV member, he pulled out a TV remote and began watching Vincent Valentine vs. DmC!Dante on a television. "This is so much more entertaining than you. Talk to me when something interesting happens."
(Music is playing louder than it was in the NERV Headquarters but quieter than it was on the coast)
"Father... father..." Shinji continued trying to call Gendo, but he wasn't listening. Eventually, Shinji just sighed and gave up.
But that's when caught glimpse of Godzilla's destruction in the distance.
"Is that... an Angel?!" Shinji cried out.
Now Shinji would really have to pilot the EVA.
There was nothing he could do about it.
Maybe he could run away and let Asuka or Rei handle it?
He began running away, but then Misato Katsuragi pulled up in a blue convertible.
"Hey Shinji!" called Misato, dressed in a skimpy outfit and wearing sunglasses.
(For those of you who have seen Evangelion: You have to admit that every time Misato attempted to seduce Shinji, it was creepy as hell. Misato's hot and all, but I redirect you to Dark Pit vs. Morrigan Aensland if you don't think it's creepy)
"Katsuragi?" Shinji asked. He knew exactly what would happen. She would drive him to NERV, where he would be forced to pilot the EVA. He began to sweat and shake in fear.
"Yeah, Shinji, we kinda need you to pilot the robot." Misato told Shinji, pulling down part of her shirt to reveal her cleavage (no joke, she would actually do that...)
I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away! Shinji thought to himself, closing his eyes and biting his lip. After a few seconds, he reluctantly got into the passenger seat of the car as Misato drove off.
Oh, did I mention that Misato is a terrible driver as well? She didn't stay on the road whatsoever and made a lot of really sharp turns. But it's basically during an apocalypse, so what does it even matter?
"Where is he? Where is he where is he where is he where is he?!" The NERV member frantically asked, running around in circles and screaming in fear. He looked at the screen. Godzilla was beginning to approach the center of town.
"He'll be here." Gendo replied, now watching Dan Hibiki vs. Ash Ketchum. "Ha, this one's hilarious!"
After a few seconds, Misato and Shinji pulled up to NERV. With no time to spare, Misato took Shinji to the EVA.
"Shinji, you're gonna need to pilot the robot." Misato said to the Third Child. "It's your job to save humanity right now."
Shinji closed his eyes and bit his lip once more. He saw that horrible monster - the giant lizard who was throwing around buildings like it was nothing. I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away...
"Shinji!" shouted Misato. "Get in the goddamn robot!"
With a reluctant sigh, Shinji changed into the plug suit and stepped into the EVA.
"I mustn't run away!" Shinji shouted as he suited up.
"Yeah, there you go Shinji!" Misato cheered him on. "We'll have celebratory beer and steak when you get back!" (Yes, she offers him beer too...)
Coast of Tokyo-3
Godzilla was still rampaging throughout the city, searching for that radiation source. He walked around and stomped everywhere, throwing buildings and cars around as he rampaged.
Then he noticed someone standing across from him. It was none other than the EVA-01, with Shinji Ikari in it.
"For humanity..." said Shinji, taking a battle stance against the King of the Monsters.
Godzilla roared as the EVA-01 challenged him.
If there was anything Godzilla liked more than making Tokyo his playground, it was a good fight.
Godzilla made the first strike, throwing a right hook into EVA-01's side. The blow caught the EVA-01 slightly off-guard, and then the EVA stumbled a little.
"Gah!" Shinji gasped. Having not piloted the EVA in a good while, it would take him at least a few minutes to get himself back in touch with the EVA-01's controls.
All he had to do was stall out the Big G for a while.
Godzilla roared as he grabbed the EVA-01 by the arm, but then the EVA responded with a powerful dropkick into Godzilla's chest. The impact knocked Godzilla back somewhat, and in a moment of surprise he let go of the EVA's arm.
Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew, that was close..." The EVA then grabbed a handgun from out of a giant suitcase which was next to it, then opened fire upon the King of the Monsters. Godzilla nonchalantly tanked the gunfire easily as the bullets barely did anything to even pierce his skin.
"Gah! Shinji's in trouble! We need more firepower!" one of the NERV members panicked. He began to hyperventilate and then after a few seconds, passed out onto the floor.
"Someone get him out of here." Gendo commanded, his eyes still fixated on the television in front of him. "Gaara, huh? That guy's gonna kick ass!"
"Aah! I knew this was a bad idea!" Shinji screamed out, on the verge of tears. Godzilla was continually clawing and punching at the EVA as dents and scratch marks were becoming apparent on the purple mech. In retaliation, the EVA-01 extended its arms and put up an octagonal yellow force field between itself and Godzilla - an AT Field.
As Godzilla continued to claw and punch at the EVA, he suddenly stopped as his the EVA was no longer fazed at its attacks - as a matter of fact, Godzilla's attacks weren't even close to piercing the AT Field.
In Godzilla's moment of confusion, the EVA put its handgun back and traded it for the Progressive Knife. He put down the AT Field, then stabbed Godzilla in his neck. Godzilla screeched in agony as blood fell down onto the ground. He flailed his arms around as he struggled to pull the knife out of his neck.
"I got him!" Shinji exclaimed in excitement.
Suddenly, the NERV member woke back up and saw Godzilla flailing about.
"He... he did it!" The NERV member shouted in joy. He got back up then wiped sweat off of his brow, and was about to step out of the room.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Gendo asked, his eyes still fixated on the television.
"Uh... b-back home, s-sir..." He stammered. "Didn't Shinji win?"
Gendo's glasses flashed. "You idiot. A knife to the throat won't kill Godzilla!"
The NERV member stammered something indistinct before passing out again.
Misato stood there for a few minutes, silent. "Why did we hire that guy again?" She asked.
"I dunno, probably because a headquarters is pointless without that token useless member." Gendo responded. "Anyway, I'm gonna get up now-" He tried moving his hands away from his face, only to find out that his hands were stuck. "Oh my God, my hands are glued to my face again!"
Godzilla angrily turned around then smacked the EVA-01 with his tail, sending the EVA a few kilometers back. Fortunately for the EVA, it managed to recapture its footing.
"That was a tough hit..." Shinji muttered. The EVA had a large dent in its side from where Godzilla hit it with his tail. "But I'll just have to hit it harder!"
The EVA quickly ran toward Godzilla, grabbing the Pallet Gun on its way.
"If I can just get one good shot in..." Shinji muttered, aiming the gun at Godzilla's stomach. He pulled the trigger, sending a steel dart flying toward Godzilla's midsection.
Much to Shinji's shock, Godzilla dodged the dart without much trouble. It didn't even graze his body as he dodged it quite casually - however, the quick movement caused Godzilla to stumble in a moment of clumsiness.
"There's my chance!" Shinji exclaimed. He fired the Pallet Gun at the King of the Monsters several more times, each time piercing Godzilla's skin with the steel darts. Godzilla angrily got back up and roared, forcibly sending the steel darts out of its body.
Shinji sat there in confusion, then sighed.
"Well... that was a waste..."
"Goddammit Shinji!" shouted Misato, throwing a beer can at the screen. She was - to put it lightly - drunk off her ass.
"Settle down, Katsuragi." Gendo said to Misato. "It's all going according to plan."
Misato grabbed another beer and began to chug it quickly. "I'm gonna-" she hiccuped. "Drink until it looks like Shinji's winning..."
"Ah!" Shinji shrieked, hanging onto the controls of the EVA-01 for dear life. Godzilla was about to let go of the EVA, but then the EVA-01 fired another shot from the Pallet Gun, this time into Godzilla's eye.
Godzilla writhed around in anger, then the attempted to get the steel dart out of his eye. While Godzilla was vulnerable, the EVA-01 kicked him in the face then followed it up by grabbing Godzilla by his tail.
However, the Big G wasn't about to let that happen. Godzilla slammed his tail on the ground, and then the EVA-01 let go within seconds. That was when Godzilla turned to face the EVA-01, then spit out a large blue blast of his signature atomic breath - not at the EVA-01, but rather at the ground below it.
The EVA-01 was sent flying skyward as a result.
"Ugh, I'm not drunk enough for this!" Misato shouted, there now being a pile of beer cans underneath the screen. "And this movie blows! The special effects are shit!" She vomited on the ground soon afterward.
"Go home, Katsuragi, you're drunk." Gendo told her.
A member of NERV then pressed a button on the control panel. "Shinji! Can you hear me?"
As soon as the EVA-01 fell to the ground, Shinji was met with Godzilla's nightmare face looming over him. The EVA-01 had suffered a major burn on its front side, with the purple hue now having turned a dark gray thanks to the heat.
"Shinji! Can you hear me?" Shinji heard.
"Yeah, I can hear you-" Shinji replied. As soon as he said that, Godzilla fired another blast of atomic breath at the EVA-01. However, the EVA rolled out of the way just in time to dodge the blast as the Atomic Breath destroyed a small apartment complex that was right there. After the impact, there was nothing even remaining where the apartment once stood. "-But I kinda have to fight Godzilla right now!"
"Have you found a weak point?" the NERV member asked Shinji.
"N-" before Shinji could answer, Godzilla grabbed the EVA-01 by its left leg and held it upside-down in front of him. Godzilla was mere seconds away from obliterating the mech with his atomic breath.
Godzilla's spines began to glow blue.
"Ah!" Shinji began to panic. He closed his eyes as tears began to form in them.
I knew this was a bad idea... I knew I could never handle this... Humanity deserves better than me...
But then at that moment, the EVA-01's eyes turned red.
Without any command from Shinji, the EVA-01 punched Godzilla in the face - hard enough for the Big G to let go of it.
"Wh-what?!" Shinji shouted out in surprise. Then he realized - the EVA-01 had gone berserk.
The EVA-01 did a backflip in mid-air, landing on its feet once more. It then proceeded to heal itself of all the wounds that Godzilla had inflicted upon it in battle.
It was ready for round two.
The EVA-01 grabbed the EM-226 Evangelion Portable Revolving Multi-Barrel Machine Gun from a large gun case that was placed next to it, then opened fire on Godzilla while simultaneously running backwards from it. Godzilla slowly waded toward the EVA-01, tanking the bullets from the EM-226 as if it were nothing.
"Come on, EVA! Don't do this to me!" Shinji could only watch in fear as Godzilla did not even seem to be fazed in the slightest at the EVA-01's onslaught.
Godzilla immediately stopped with his slow demeanor then ran at the EVA-01, slamming its body weight into the robot against an overhead bridge, leveling the bridge completely and sending large pieces of concrete flying.
The EVA-01 retaliated quickly with a sidekick into Godzilla's chest, which sent the large monster stumbling. Then the EVA-01 quickly got back up and equipped itself with a two-headed chainsaw.
"Please don't let me die, please don't let me die, please don't let me die!" Shinji cried. Of all people to fight Godzilla, why did it have to be him?
The EVA then jammed the dual chainsaw into Godzilla's neck, then slashed to the left - and pierced through Godzilla's gills.
Godzilla roared in pain as he was temporarily stunned.
"Are the gills... its weak point?!" Shinji then gave a half-smile as he figured out how he would then take down Godzilla.
"Sir!" a NERV member excitedly ran toward Gendo with a big smile on his face. "Shinji has discovered Godzilla's weakness! It's his gills!"
Gendo kept his eyes fixated on the screen. "Well no shit! Everyone worth their Godzilla salt knows that! Now get back to work!"
Gendo continued watching the screen. "What kind of drugs were those people on when they made that albino girl fight the cartoon girl?"
A random bus
"And if you'll look to the right, you'll see the filming of the next Godzilla movie! Man, those special effects seem so real!" A tour guide said to the passengers, each of whom had been paralyzed in fear.
Godzilla roared as his blood splattered all across the city, then pulled that random bus off of the ground and threw it at the EVA-01. The EVA dodged the bus easily, but unfortunately for all the people in the bus... they had been thrown into the water.
EVA-01 swung the dual chainsaw at Godzilla's chest, but Godzilla managed to dodge the swing easily. Godzilla then delivered one of his signature gravity-defying dropkicks of doom into the EVA-01's midsection, knocking it down onto the ground.
"Come on, EVA! You were supposed to aim for its gills!" Shinji said to the mech. He watched in fear as Godzilla was looming over him yet again. "Not again..."
This time, the EVA didn't roll out of the way as Godzilla fired a blue blast of Atomic Breath at it.
The heat was getting to the EVA. Parts of it were melting off, and Shinji could feel the scorching heat from inside.
Mother... Father... Katsuragi... Asuka... Rei... I'm so sorry... Shinji's eyes filled with tears as his body began to be exposed to Godzilla's atomic breath - but then the EVA quickly jumped back onto its feet and set up another AT Field.
The AT Field stopped the atomic breath cold - it did not even get anywhere past the field. The EVA-01 healed itself of its wounds in a matter of seconds, restoring the mech to perfect health.
Godzilla fired the atomic breath at the EVA-01 again, but once more the AT Field stopped it completely. Then Godzilla's spines turned from blue to red as he began charging up the Red Spiral Ray.
"Ikari! That's the Red Spiral Ray! Shinji is screwed if he doesn't do anything!" the NERV member screamed to Gendo, who was still unfazed.
"You think I don't know that?!" Gendo yelled at his employee. "Stop panicking! I promise you, everything is going perfectly."
The NERV member gulped in fear as he tried to think about what Gendo could possibly mean.
"Goddammit! We're out of beer!" shouted Misato, who began spewing out indistinct obscenities.
Right as Godzilla was about to fire the Red Spiral Ray, the EVA-01 had equipped itself with the Mastema, the Swiss Army Knife-like weapon. The EVA-01 swung Mastema, using its bladed edges to slash across Godzilla's chest - right in the nick of time too, because it interrupted Godzilla's attack.
Godzilla stumbled back a little, but was otherwise unfazed. He regenerated rather quickly, with his skin closing up and his bones coming back together.
The EVA-01 swung Mastema again, but this time Godzilla caught the bladed weapon. However, he was in for a surprise when the EVA-01 used it for a different purpose and fired a few small missiles out of it, each one piercing through Godzilla's skin an blowing up or burning small parts of him. Godzilla roared in pain and anger, but he regenerated from those wounds too.
However, the EVA-01 had pissed off the Big G.
And that is something you do not do if you value your life.
Godzilla swung his tail into the EVA-01, knocking Mastema out of its hand. The EVA-01 was knocking into a skyscraper, leveling the building to the ground and most likely killing a few hundred people upon impact.
"No... this isn't good..." Shinji muttered. Now he had lost control of the EVA and he was losing the battle. Shinji attempted to control the EVA again, and then suddenly he felt as if he had been more synchronized with the robot.
It was as if they were one and the same.
The EVA-01's arm then resembled Shinji's.
It had entered its First Arousal Stage.
"Bring it on, Godzilla!" Shinji shouted. The EVA-01 ran toward the King of the Monsters and delivered a huge uppercut toward the monster. Godzilla struck back by punching the EVA-01 in the stomach - which, in turn, was a punch to Shinji. "Ow!" Shinji shrieked in pain, as if his stomach had been crushed between a bullet train and a skyscraper.
Imagine being punched in the gut by Godzilla. Just imagine. Well, that's what Shinji felt.
Godzilla then roared upward as clouds filled the sky. Godzilla's body began to glow as lightning struck the monster. Godzilla then pulled back his arm and then swung his fist with the most force he'd ever punched with over the course of this battle. The EVA-01 quickly reacted with an AT Field, successfully blocking the hit without any repercussions.
It was then time for the EVA-01 to show off what it could really do.
The EVA-01 then concentrated the AT Field into a fist-like object, then bright colors flashed in geometric patterns as Godzilla was sent flying over the horizon and into the water. Shinji and the EVA-01 followed suit and followed Godzilla underwater.
"What is he doing?!" a member of NERV asked. "For heaven's sake, Godzilla came out of the water! If anything, that'll give Godzilla the advantage!"
Another member of NERV laughed hysterically. "What are you talking about? Godzilla was knocked into the water by King Kong, and then he lost the battle!"
Gendo ignored the two as he kept watching.
The two of them underwater, the EVA-01 swam toward Godzilla. It had picked up the Spear of Longinus, and then the EVA began to stab Godzilla in the midsection several times with it.
Godzilla remained submerged, barely even reacting.
Is Godzilla... dead? Shinji thought to himself. Suddenly, he saw an ominous blue glow come from Godzilla's eyes. Oops... looks like that was a "No"...
Godzilla fired a blast of atomic breath - not at the EVA-01, but rather, behind him. Godzilla fired himself like a torpedo at the EVA-01, feet-first. The EVA attempted to move out of the way, but instead Godzilla kicked the EVA-01 directly in the chest.
Shinji cried out as he felt his sternum and ribs crack. He then took the Spear of Longinus and stabbed Godzilla in space between its tail, back, legs, and crotch - you know, where his second brain is?
Godzilla screeched out, but it was barely audible thanks to the water. The Big G then ripped the Spear of Longinus out of its body then jammed it into the EVA-01's shoulder.
"Aaaaaaah!" Shinji screamed, his own shoulder barely being held onto his body.
The EVA-01 pulled the Spear of Longinus out of its body, then attempted to swim toward the surface. But that turned out to be futile when Godzilla grabbed the EVA-01 by the left leg then began to swim downward. The EVA-01 slowly began to collapse as the water pressure increased.
"Ow... ow... ow..." Shinji saw the walls of the EVA-01 closing in as his own body was beginning to collapse. He wheezed and coughed as he began to feel himself get out of breath. Everything was beginning to grow fuzzy as Godzilla dragged him down toward the ocean depths.
Right as Shinji believed he was living through his final moments, Godzilla began to charge up his famous Red Spiral Ray. He aimed directly at the EVA-01, and with no-holds barred fired away. The blast was so powerful that it launched the EVA-01 right out of the water and into the sky, even breaching the Earth's atmosphere.
(Cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB1r6-p7cGc again. Don't watch the video this time.)
Shinji suddenly could breath again. He opened his eyes to see himself surrounded by clouds.
"Is this... what Heaven looks like?" asked Shinji. However, his thoughts were immediately cut short as he felt himself hurdling back down toward the Earth. "Ah!" Shinji cried out in fear. He clutched onto the controls for dear life. "Why did it have to be me?"
His skin felt like it was being burned alive - the EVA-01 was enduring atmospheric re-entry, and the body of the mech was beginning to burn. Luckily, it was healing its wounds faster than the burning could disintegrate its body, but it still felt like being burned alive to Shinji.
But it was right in that moment that Shinji realized.
It was his duty to protect the world.
It was his duty to defeat Godzilla.
If he couldn't do it, then no one could.
Although he had wanted to run away, he had no choice but to fight.
"I might not want to fight, but it's my only choice." Shinji muttered to himself.
His scared face quickly turned into a face of rage, and then he re-positioned the EVA to face Godzilla, who was now beginning to climb out of the water. "I have to save humanity!" Shinji exclaimed. The EVA-01 set up an AT Field - but not just any ordinary AT Field. It channeled the AT Field through its eyes, and then fired a beam of energy at Godzilla.
The beam fired at Godzilla's body, knocking the beast back and causing a large explosion where Godzilla was standing. Godzilla was knocked over onto the ground, and then Shinji pulled out the Positron Sniper Rifle.
A member of NERV was quick to react. "Reroute all electricity in Japan to NERV!" he commanded.
Gendo (who was watching Dante vs. Homura Akemi on the television) suddenly perked his head up as the television turned off. "Hey, I was watching-" he was cut off as he saw the EVA-01 beginning to turn this fight in its favor. "Hmm..."
"What is it, Gendo?" asked a NERV member.
Gendo didn't answer for a while. "Don't be a dick, Shinji."
"But... I'm not-"
"I said don't be a dick!"
"Now." said Shinji. The EVA-01 pulled the trigger of the Positron Sniper Rifle, the blast aiming right for Godzilla. The beam caused a huge explosion where Godzilla was standing, sending dust everywhere. "Did I... did I get him...?"
He waited for a few seconds. Nothing. The dust still hadn't cleared. But then again, he didn't hear Godzilla either.
But then suddenly, he saw glowing white-blue eyes emerge from the dust. After it had all cleared, Godzilla's face and body had been seared clean off - only for it all to regenerate moments later.
However, Godzilla had grown considerably in size and stature, and was glowing on many different parts of his body.
Super Godzilla had awoken.
(Cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNWHHOI9imM at about 6:17)
"Wh-what?!" Shinji was frozen in fear. The Positron Sniper Rifle had failed. It was supposed to completely foolproof in just about every way.
Super Godzilla waded toward the EVA-01, then released a gigantic punch reminiscent of a Falcon Punch, launching Shinji several kilometers away and into an overpass, completely destroying it as well as a few unlucky cars that had happened to be in the way.
The EVA-01 grabbed two katanas - the Magaroku Exterminate Sword and the Counter Sword - then slashed at Godzilla's gills with the Exterminate while stabbing Godzilla in the stomach with the Counter.
However, Godzilla was hardly fazed by the attack. He simply roared it off as he kicked the EVA-01 in the leg, toppling it to the ground.
Shinji bit his lip in pain as he felt his femur break, but he pretended like he didn't even feel it. The EVA-01 quickly got back up and continued slashing at Godzilla with its swords, and each time Godzilla caught the swords with his hands.
The two exchanged blows for a good period of time, that is until Godzilla fired a white version of his atomic breath at the EVA-01.
Without a moment to spare, the EVA-01 put up another AT Field - again, stopping the blast in its tracks completely.
"Whew... that was a close one..." Shinji muttered to himself. The EVA-01 then took the AT Field and then transformed it into two large fist-like objects made of the same material as the AT Field and fired away at Godzilla. The blast sent Godzilla stumbling back as he crushed several houses with his feet, blood flowing all across the city.
Godzilla shrugged off the blow, but Shinji wasn't quite done. The EVA-01 then began to glow a red color as it absorbed its own AT Field. Godzilla took this opportunity to run toward Shinji, guns blazing.
"Now." The EVA-01 let out a huge burst of red energy, causing a gigantic crater where the two were standing. A large red light ascended toward the sky, and once again Godzilla's skin had seared off almost completely.
Shinji breathed a sigh of exhaustion. It was finally over.
"Did... he do it?!" asked the NERV member, smiling again.
Misato walked back inside. "Alright, I picked up some more beer, and-" In sheer surprise, she dropped all the beer onto the ground, spilling it everywhere. "Did he do it?!"
The NERV member and Misato began to celebrate, but Gendo remained motionless.
"Ikari, why aren't you celebrating? Your son just took down Godzilla!" Misato said to him.
Gendo still did not move. "You're all fools if you believe that Godzilla is dead."
Misato's excited face suddenly turned scared. "Oh no... Please pull through, Shinji..."
Except that it wasn't over.
Godzilla's skin reformed back onto his body, and then he began to alight once more.
"...Goddammit." Shinji muttered.
In that moment, Godzilla began to charge an attack from his chest as it started glowing a white-blue color. This was his Nova Beam, which was his most powerful attack possible.
With only a few seconds to spare, the EVA-01 set up an AT Field to defend against the Nova Beam. However, after a few seconds, it was quite evident that the AT Field was faltering.
"I need more power... I need more power... I need more power..."
The EVA-01 developed a third eye, and then turned from a purple color to a bright red.
It sprouted golden wings as it then ascended into the air, and its AT Field was now more than enough to block Super Godzilla's Nova Beam.
Godzilla now had to deal with the Second State.
The EVA-01 took the AT Field and then transformed it into a gigantic beam of light. He fired the beam from his eyes at Godzilla, and then Godzilla reacted by firing another Nova Beam from his chest at the Optic Blast.
The two beams resulted in a large power struggle, with neither one getting any sort of edge. The more Godzilla struggled, the more EVA-01 struggled. The more EVA-01 pushed its limits, the more Godzilla pushed his.
"Come on... come on..." Shinji was beginning to strain himself of all the power he possibly had. He could no longer feel anything and was beyond any sort of pain he had endured in this fight (trust me, it was a lot).
Godzilla, similarly, was beginning to struggle as well. He had not yet fought anyone who could counter his blows with such resilience. Yes, he had fought Kiryu before, but this was a different case. The fact that he was without his usual battle partner, Mothra, made things more difficult.
After a few minutes of struggling and trying to overpower one another, the two blasts resulted in a gigantic explosion - which, more than likely, one would be able to see from space.
Michael Bay's house
"Someone bring me some more bourbon!" Michael Bay yelled through a megaphone while eating pizza. Suddenly, a chill went down his spine. "Oh my God, my explosion senses are tingling!" He jumped out of his window, and seconds later he was shown hanging from the ladder of the helicopter while holding his megaphone.
"Uh, Mr. Bay? Another bad review on-" A woman dressed in a maid outfit was standing right in front of her window, her jaw completely dropped from surprise. "Mr. Bay, where are you-"
"Getting me some mother*bleep*ing money!" Michael Bay yelled through the megaphone again as the helicopter flew off.
Super Godzilla and Second State EVA-01 were both shown on the ground. Super Godzilla began to bolt toward Shinji.
"Only got one shot-" Shinji pressed a button as the EVA-01 created one more AT Field. Godzilla began to claw, punch, kick, tail-slam and every single thing you can imagine Godzilla doing to something. However, his efforts were futile.
"Now!" The EVA-01 began converting the AT Field into an Anti-AT Field. The EVA-01 was glowing with an even more intense red than ever before.
But by that same token, Godzilla was glowing with the most intense blue than at any point in this battle.
Godzilla fired its Nova Beam. The EVA-01 unleashed its Anti-AT Field.
A view of the Earth
A large explosion of red and blue lights was seen right at Tokyo, and the blast was so massive that the Earth tilted on its axis and shifted everything. The countries and continents all slightly moved out of place.
A gigantic crater was left where the EVA-01 and Godzilla had been left standing. Both of them had their bodies completely singed, and they could have both easily been mistaken for dead.
Then they both got up and ran toward each other.
"I'm not... going to... lose!" Shinji yelled as the EVA ran toward Godzilla. Godzilla slammed the ground with its tail, sending the EVA-01 in an upward arch toward Godzilla. Right then and there, Godzilla grabbed hold of the Evangelion then held it point-blank at his face.
They say when you're about to die... that your life really does flash before your eyes...
Shinji began to remember every moment of his life as he began to come to tears.
He remembered everything - Misato picking him up in her car. Meeting up with his father. Piloting the EVA for the first time. Checking out Rei in a swimsuit at school. Going abroad to meet Asuka. Meeting Misato's penguin. Fighting angels.
He remembered the words of everything people had said to him.
He remembered Kaworu telling him he was the greatest pilot.
Shinji came to tears. "I couldn't save everyone..."
He thought about what his father would think. What Asuka would think. What Rei would think.
Shinji had been tasked with protecting the world, and he'd failed.
Everything turned white and every sound around him went silent.
Shinji saw himself at a chair and table, with Asuka, Rei, and his father all standing there.
"Asuka... Rei... Father... what are you all doing here? And where am I?" asked Shinji.
Asuka was in tears, and looked as if she were about to hug Shinji, but then she ran off without a word.
"You're a good pilot, Shinji." Rei told him. Shinji smiled at Rei as a single tear ran down his eye.
"Son... I may not be the best father, but you did a fine job." Gendo told Shinji.
"Thank you..." Shinji cried some more.
Suddenly, he saw a vision of his mother's soul taking a physical form and hugging him. His mother's soul kissed him on the forehead.
"It's all going to be alright, Shinji. We'll be in a better place."
Everything faded away as Shinji saw himself back inside the EVA.
"At least I tried." Shinji smiled as his tear glimmered.
However, he couldn't even hear Godzilla roar at him as the monster fired a red spiral ray at the EVA-01.
Everything turned a red-white. He couldn't deny the fact that he was in massive pain.
"At least... I didn't run away." Shinji said with a smile. His body as well as the EVA-01 began to slowly fade away.
At this point, Godzilla would have roared in victory, but this time he remained silent. Godzilla gave a pseudo-bow in respect to the now-disintegrated EVA-01 as he walked out toward the sea.
Everyone had been left speechless. No one had anything more to say. Misato had come to tears, and the members of NERV were too emotional to say anything.
Gendo still sat there, and he sighed. "Well... that was that."
The members of NERV all bowed in respect to Shinji's death.
A male reporter had made it onto the scene.
"And this is where the boy Shinji Ikari and his mecha, the EVA-01, were killed at the hands of Godzilla. Any word on this, Mr. Bay?" he asked Michael Bay, who had now arrived on the scene.
The reporter quickly snatched the microphone from him. "Never mind then. Today is a sad day as we mourn the loss of Shinji, who was only fourteen at the time of his death. I guess that the saying is true - history shows again, and again... how nature points out the folly of man... Godzilla."
Boomstick: *Sniff* That was depressing, Wiz. That was just depressing.
Wiz: I know. *Sniff* Well anyway, this battle was, all things considered, very close. The two have very specific counters for each other, and Godzilla's experience versus Shinji's group of talented minds meant that neither one could use smarts to get an advantage, so we had to think about every possible outcome.
Boomstick: Let's think about it here. The EVA-01 has a pretty obvious weak point, and Godzilla could easily get one lucky shot in there and destroy it before too long, taking the fight for himself rather quickly.
Wiz: But if the EVA-01 managed to hold out longer? Why, it would set up an AT Field, of course! However, the EVA-01 needs to focus when using an AT Field and can't use it for combat until the First Arousal State, meaning that if it wanted to take down Godzilla, it wouldn't be able to keep an AT Field up at all times.
Boomstick: Godzilla has tanked many different types of attacks, including the Absolute Zero Cannon, so it's not likely Shinji's basic weapons were gonna do him any good. From there on, Godzilla could use his Atomic Breath or his sheer physicality to crush Shinji while in the EVA to take him out before too long.
Wiz: However, if Shinji were to survive THAT, the EVA-01 would almost certainly enter the Berserk State, which gives him a strength buff, but nerfs his smarts by quite a bit. However, the healing factor it brings would allow Shinji to stall out this match even more, and would force Godzilla to rely on luck to hit the core.
Boomstick: However, the Berserk State still isn't enough to keep Godzilla on his toes, and he would eventually still win. So in that case, the EVA-01 would be forced to enter the First Arousal State - which, get this, would actually suck for Shinji more.
Wiz: Indeed, the damage being reflected onto Shinji hurts the Third Child a lot. And the worst part is that it STILL wouldn't be enough to truly take down Godzilla. While the AT Fields would certainly force Godzilla to put in a lot more effort, it really isn't threatening him any time soon.
Boomstick: Then there's the Second State, which, all things considered, could actually destroy Godzilla. Come on, that Anti AT Field is an antimatter explosion!
Wiz: We've thought about it several times, and we've come to the conclusion that since Godzilla is a living being simply mutated by nuclear explosions, that he would indeed be vulnerable to the Anti AT Field. However, Godzilla's superior speed and durability would mean that he could evade this attack with relative ease. That's also not even considering the fact that Godzilla's Super Form, Super Godzilla, increases his abilities even more, forcing Shinji to push his limits beyond what they're capable of.
Boomstick: I mean, come on! Shinji may have a ton of cool weapons and whatnot, but Godzilla is stronger, faster, and more durable! Okay, so maybe he's not as durable as the AT Field, but he's definitely strong enough to pierce through it!
Wiz: We can throw all this around all day, but at the very end, it's all the core of their characters. Neon Genesis Evangelion is a deconstruction of the Mecha genre, and as such is supposed to be a more realistic approach to the typical Mecha anime. Godzilla is a monster who is supposed to win his battles. Even when he loses, he can come right back and save the day. When you pit a character who is supposed to lose against a character who is supposed to win, well... one is supposed to win.
Boomstick: It was a tough one, that's for sure, but in the end, Shinji could (not) defeat Godzilla. EVA fans will get it.
Wiz: The winner is Godzilla.
- This is ParaGoomba348's longest battle, with over 6000 words.
- This is ParaGoomba348's Season 4 finale.
- Cameo Appearances:
- Misato Katsuragi
- Gendo Ikari
- Other members of NERV
- Vincent Valentine
- Dan Hibiki
- Ash Ketchum
- Asuka Langley Sohryu
- Rei Ayanami
- Yui Ikari
- This is the tenth of ParaGoomba348's battles where a character who was mentioned or made a cameo made an appearance was a combatant in a future episode, in this case Asuka Langley Sohryu, pilot of the Evangelion Unit-02.