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Hercule Satan vs Homer Simpson
HSvsHS
Season 4, Episode 36
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Air date March 23, 2016
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Hercule Satan vs Homer Simpson is a What-If? Death Battle.

Description

DBZ vs Simpsons! Which of these comical dads will take home victory?

Interlude

Wiz: Fathers are said to be the true leaders of their family birthright.

Boomstick: And they can be if they have enough beer, win fights and such, of course these two dads are comically ready to showdown.

Wiz: Hercule Satan, the jealous Earth rival of Goku...

Boomstick: ...and Homer Simpson, the Safety Inspector of Springfield's power plant, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Hercule Satan

Wiz: Hercule Satan is the champion of the World Martial Arts, and in his own fantasy, is the earth's chosen savior.

Boomstick: Yeah, but we all know who the real hero in the DBZ universe really is.

Wiz: Of course, back when he was known as Mark, he was eager to learn and master the art of combat in the dojo known as the Satan Castle. And thanks to his occasional good luck, he was gifted in martial arts.

Boomstick: Like his rival got food poisoning before entering the World Championship. I still think Satan did something in the food before his rival ate it. But all because of the cockiness from both him and his master, they mocked this guy for his ponytail, but they learned the hard way that he is a tree surfing killer.

Wiz: Thus he vowed never to fight anyone with a secret identity or are out of his league to where his league is surpassed by others, especially to try and save his reputation, but this is instantly before Cell showed up, thus causing him to forget his vow.

Boomstick: which caused him to be given a powerful backhand, ha-ha, my favorite funny part, I should do a 10 minute video of that sequence being done again and again someday.

Wiz: When fighting, he is capable of launching the Dynamite Kick and the Megaton Punch, which is actually just a set of ordinary kicks and punches, but because he is an Anime character in an Anime world, he had to say them with certain awesomeness in his own way.

Boomstick: He is such a liar and a non-believer, that he once thought that the flying characters and the shooting lasers where just visual effects, but learns the hard way when a Kamehameha was getting to tense for him, he denies it all.

Wiz: Of course, he also has his assortment of surprising capsules, in which inside of them contains unpredictable objects, and not just weapons either.

Boomstick: He is also such a good liar that he tends to have lame-ass excuses to weasel out of situations, and due to his so called luck, everyone buys it every time.

Wiz: But he is somewhat strong enough to rip three phone books in half and pull four buses like a pack-mule, and he is the champion of 26 certain World Martial Arts Tournaments, though one of them is indeed legitimate.

Boomstick: He was even ballsy enough to have Majin Buu beat the crap out of the certain rigged fights and then lose to him on purpose.

Wiz: I still think that was impressive to befriend the most dangerous and untamed of the DBZ monsters, thanks to the fact that it was the Fat Buu and not the Kid version. And he is motivated by Fame, Money, and even his only daughter, Videl.

Boomstick: But when he is his fights, it is usually out of his stupidity and thickeheadedness, and when he survives, it is usually out of his certain luck.

Mr. Satan: Don't you worry about me! I'm a master of martial arts and I'm also packin' some serious heat! And as soon as Majin Buu pops his head outta that hole, he'll be eatin' a lead salad!

Homer Simpson

Wiz: Homer Simpson is the father figure of the Simpson family in Springfield, Connecticut.

Boomstick: And what a good goddamn show he has starred in for almost 30 years. Anyhow, when he was a boy, he was fed beer, and thanks to his unique condition, the "Homer Simpson Syndrome", he was able to survive that only to have certain brain cells being killed in the process, that guy is super lucky.

Wiz: Anyway, the "Homer Simpson Syndrome" is Homer's own unique condition in which his skull is 25% thicker than that of your typical average human being, when it is coupled with his fat, he can take on certain punishment that gets thrown at him, like electrocution,...

Homer: Now turn the rainwater into wine. (opens his mouth to catch raindrops made of wine, only to be shocked by a stroke of lightning contacting his mouth)

Wiz: ...getting his head stuck in the closing bridge,...

(Homer screams in pain from cars running over his clamped head in the bridge)

Wiz: ...being hit in the stomach by many cannonballs, and when he was a boy, getting only one remaining crayon lodged and stuck in his brain after shoving 16 crayons up his nose.

Boomstick: Damn, he should have died from those many events, especially the crayon situation. But hey, at least he is strong, right?

Wiz: Yes, Boomstick, he is strong for his size in which he lifted up a motorcycle with one hand and wields it like a sword, and even strong enough to throw a cinder block with a hard enough force to pierce a hole on a steamboat. And despite his physique, Homer can even run at speeds rivaling those of your typical Olympic Athlete.

Boomstick: Wow, that guy is quite the powerhouse, isn't he?

Wiz: Well he does have certain weaknesses at hand, the most basic one of all is that he is an idiot. Due to drinking a lot of beer as a kid and having a crayon shoved up his brain made him so stupid, yet having certain knowledge in him as much as he can.

Boomstick: But he has accomplished certain despite being stupid, such as he gets immuned to certain physics, riding a motorcycle around the dome for 3 minutes, reprised that same trick to throw the bomb out of the dome on the top until it exploded and destroyed the damn dome with most of Springfield survived, and has been in several fights, one with a guy named Tom, and even several with famous people before like boxer Drederick Tatum, former President George Bush, and his famous rival from "Family Guy", Peter Griffin.

Wiz: Speaking of which, and this is the most important feat of all, near the end of their fight around the end of their crossover special, the alien spaceship lands on top of Homer, and when it looked like it killed him, surprise-surprise, he actually survived it, and in one piece, too. Because a spaceship that size and shape could kill someone via crushing all his bones, or the slightest of chance of chopping him in half if given that exact chance.

Boomstick: For a dumb dad, Homer may have what it takes to win his fight if he doesn't get distracted by food.

Homer: (see Bart laughing at him for poking his own eye with a hammer) Why you little, (starts strangling Bart) I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!

Intermission

IntermissionHSvsHS

Wiz: All right, the Combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight

(Cue the Simpsons opening theme)

The Simpsons theme singers: (singing) Death Battle.

We view past the Springfield Power plant and into the town of Springfield itself and we see various different yellow colored people, but one that separates out of them is the afro wearing martial artist with a moustache himself, Hercule Satan.

Hercule: (in his head) Wow, talk about not healthy, it is like that they all have gotten a disease or something. Oh well, it is only for a certain visit.

He then enters a donut shop known as the Lard Lad Donuts, remembering he needs to find at least a souvenir for his friends, like for starters, Majin Buu.

Hercule: Twenty dozens of your finest donuts please.

Lard Lad employee: Sorry but we are all out.

Hercule: What the Hell? Who in their right mind would clean this place out of its donuts?

The employee then points Hercule to the answer of his question, as the answer is the famed bald headed fat man that we all know and love today, Homer Simpson.

Homer: Mmmm, donuts.

Hercule: Hey, Fatty, why did you have to go and do that for?

Homer: What did you call me?

Hercule: Fatty is what I called you.

Homer: Why don’t you try to say that to my face?

Hercule: Then it looks like we got ourselves a good old’ non tournament fight here in this town. I could use a warm up myself before the official fights anyhow.

Both guys get to there fighting stances.

The Simpsons theme singers: (in song) FIGHT!

(Cue Cha La Head Cha La)

Hercule: Prepare to have a taste of justice, Satan style, as I unleash my “Dynamite Kick”.

Hercule charges at Homer and tries to give out his kick, despite that he really left an inch of space between his foot and Homer’s gut. As that happened, Homer noticed a rumbly in his gut.

Homer: Oh boy, I see where those donuts might have gotten me.

Homer turns away from Hercule clenching his stomach.

Hercule: Ha, looks like justice is finally served, all thanks to the greatest hero of them all…

But just as Hercule was about to finish his speech, Homer lets out a big fart, which is blasted to Hercule himself.

Homer: Ah, that is more like it, now where did that funky fighter guy go?

Hercule was coughing and exclaiming in disgust from Homer’s incident.

Hercule: Dammit, fool, who knew you had that kind of surprise in you the entire time.

Homer: (as he reaches in Hercule’s fighting suit sleeve) What do you have in there?

Homer pulls out a capsule.

Homer: Ooohh, you got a candy.

Hercule: That is not a piece of candy, I don’t even know what that is nor is it mine. But if you can give it to me I can…

Homer: Don’t worry, I will take care of it the best I know how.

Homer stuffs the capsule in his mouth, and when his teeth touch the capsule top, something else appears in homers mouth that feels like a can, he spits out the can like subject to find out it was an opened can after all, and not just any can, but a can of his personal favorite beer, Duff.

Homer: Ooohh, Beer.

Hercule: (in his head) Dammit, he stole my beer, but no matter, I will attack with my next attack.

Hercule then starts to prepare his next pose.

Hercule: Now try and get past my “Megaton Punch”.

Hercule then uses as much more force and aimed for Homer’s gut, which caused Homer to nudge a bit a drop the beer. When the beer fell off of Homer’s hand and spilled on the road.

Homer: NOOOOOO! Why you little.

(Cue the music of the very tall man chasing down Nelson)

Hercule tries to get his fist at the ready, but realizes that it is stuck in Homer’s stomach, thus causing Homer to give out a couple punches to Hercule until the “hero” got his fist free, while Homer grabs Hercule by the legs and shakes him up and down like a rag doll, which causes him to find a dozen more capsules coming from Hercule.

Homer: Wow, maybe one of these will have another Duff.

Homer tosses Hercule by the side and starts to open them.

Meanwhile, Hercule gets back on his feet and tries to attack Homer again, but is avoiding obstacles coming his way from the capsules Homer was finding via opening them, including in order: a motorcycle, a banjo, a Wii remote, a Victoria’s Secret catalog, a garden hoe, a donkey, a tutu, a fart gun (which is then triggered from upon landing thus causing Hercule to cough and exclaim again), a trampoline, a typewriter, and even a trash can (which include a certain grumpy green hairy character we all know and love, Oscar).

Oscar: Hey, what on earth is the big idea stuffing my home in that thing?

Hercule, ignoring Oscar, has caught up to Homer with the last capsule in his hand, and he uses the “Dynamite Kick” to knock it off his hand.

Homer: Oh no, Why you little…

Homer the grabs Hercule’s neck and strangles him up a bit, until the capsule comes down and lands on top of homer’s head.

Homer: D’oh.

It then bounces off of Homer’s head and lands in Hercule’s hand.

Hercule: Ha-ha, looks like I get the prize after all.

Homer: Not for long, jack-ass.

Homer then kicks Hercule in the groins causing him to not only let out a girly shriek in pain, but also accidentally toss the capsule in the air, causing it to land again, but this time landing in Hercule’s open mouth and in his stomach.

Hercule: (in his head) oh crap, I don’t even remember what was in this one, I hope that…

Hercule then starts to feel something inside of him ready to come out.

Hercule: Oh, no!

But it was too late, coming out of the capsule and burst through Satan was a Krispy Kreme Donuts truck.

Homer: Woo-Hoo! More donuts.

Homer, as well as several characters including Officer Wiggums, Barney, and even the Comic Book Guy show up to eat the donuts in the truck.

Comic Book Guy: (to the viewers) Best cameo ever.

K. D’oh!

Results

Boomstick: Well, guess that is the end of his thickheadedness.

Wiz: While Satan has much better fighting experience than Homer, it was not enough, as Homer has dealt and endure fights with people that have surpassed him in those fights, all thanks to the "Homer Simpson Syndrome".

Boomstick: And even though Satan has survived fights against Cell and Kid Buu were two different reasons, Cell one shot him with a backhand while holding back, and Buu just simply bopped him in the nose. While Homer was that way with Dederick Tatum, George Bush, and even Peter Griffin.

Wiz: And while Satan has pulled four buses like a pack mule, Homer was capable of surving a spaceship landing on him that was 10 to 12 size larger than that of your typical bus, so Homer was more than capable of taking the punishment from Satan as possible, not to mention that Satan's strength level was among the same level as Mr. Smithers, the assistant of Mr. Burns, when Homer and Smithers were in a fight one time and his hand was stuck in Homer's Belly. So it was inevitable for Hercule to fall that same fate unless he had bigger hands like that of Tatum.

Boomstick: Homer managed to strangle the good luck out of Satan.

WinnerHomer

Wiz: The winner is Hercule Satan.

Homer: D'oh.

Wiz: Just kidding... it's really Homer Simpson.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Trivia

  • This is Maxevil's seventy-sixth Death Battle.