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Hitmonchan vs Balrog
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Season 3, Episode 11
Vital statistics
Air date September 2nd, 2015
Written by Ahomeschoolingroudon
Directed by Ahomeschoolingroudon
Episode guide
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Captain Planet vs. Amaterasu Axe Cop vs Segata Sanshiro

Hitmonchan vs Balrog is a What-if Death Battle.

Description

Pokémon vs Street Fighter! While boxing may not be as common in their respective worlds, these two boxers have adapted to just that. Who will have to be forced to meet with Little Mac again?

Interlude

Wiz: Pokémon, Street Fighter. While in these verses boxing may not be as common, these two say "Fuck that" and use boxing as their primary weapon

Boomstick: Hitmonchan, The Punching Pokémon. Creative alias I know

Wiz: And Balrog, Shadoloo's second in command.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

Hitmonchan

Wiz: In the world of Pokémon, there’s a huge amount of strange creatures to be seen

Boomstick: Ranging from the likes of upside-down pokeballs that self combust, for some fucking reason

Wiz: To, Ice-Cream Pokémon

Boomstick: Wait, what the fuck?

Wiz: Anyway, Pokémon that fit the bill here is the “Hitmon” species. Hitmontop, the Pokémon that is literally a battling spinning top

Boomstick: What is Pokémon trying to be Beyblade all of a sudden?

Wiz: Hitmonlee the Pokémon who isn’t even trying to hide being a Bruce Lee knockoff. And Hitmonchan the Pokémon who, well isn’t even trying to hide being a Jackie Chan knockoff

Boomstick: Hitmonchan however isn’t your average boxer. Weighing in at 4’7” and weighing 110 lbs. He’s a bit smaller than your average powerhouse boxer.

Wiz: But, where he really shines is his attack and punching speed. He’s able to pulverize concrete, and throw punches faster than a bullet train and punches impossible to see!

Boomstick: Well then, holy shit.

Wiz: Just wait till you see his moveset. He’s got plenty of moves such as Mach Punch, a thrown punch which goes at blinding speed. He also has Comet Punch, a flurry of punches which hits two to five times in a row.

Boomstick: He also has Vacuum Wave, where Hitmonchan whirls his fists to send a wave of pure vacuum. But it’s low damage combined with Hitmonchan’s weak Special Attack this isn’t gonna be handy

Wiz: He can increase his speed with Agility, or just evade any and all attacks with Detect. Despite it’s chance to fail rising if it’s used in succession

Boomstick: Why? I have no fucking idea but, Hitmonchan also has the elements with him, thanks to Fire, Ice and Thunder Punch. Which does exactly what you think

Wiz: Counter retaliates an opposing physical attack with twice the power. Sky Uppercut is, well a skyward uppercut.

Boomstick: But, then there’s his two best attacks. Close Combat, where he fights the target up close without guarding himself. And Focus Punch, where Hitmonchan focuses before launching a punch. I prefer the former

Wiz: While attack may be a key point for Hitmonchan. For some reason his best base stat is Special Defense. So he can tank projectiles without much difficulty

Boomstick: But, like we said his Special Attack is pitiful. And so is his HP, meaning it won’t take much to put him down despite his decent defense. Also he is weak to the likes of flying, psychic and-

Wiz: Fairy types

Boomstick: Oh you have to be shitting me, FAIRY TYPES!? How does that make sense!?

Wiz: Because fairies in the Pokémon world are super effective against Dragon Types

Boomstick: How in the hell does a tiny little fairy be super effective against a HUGE ASS DRAGON!? This. Is. Bullshit!

Wiz: Uh, yeah. And, while he may be a strong foe. He can only fight for 3 minutes before he has to take a break

Boomstick: Why? There’s no breaks in Pokémon, we might as well just name him. Hitmonchan, The Pussy Pokémon

Wiz: But, Hitmonchan is still one of the strongest boxers fiction has to offer

Pokédex: Hitmonchan, the Punching Pokémon. Hitmonchan specializes in punch attacks. Its moves are faster than the eye.

Balrog

Wiz: Shadaloo, the deadliest criminal organization in the Street Fighter universe. Lead by M. Bison, he has 3 highest minions

Boomstick: Sagat, The God of Muay Thai. Vega, the Kuro bait. And lastly, Balrog.

Wiz: But before he was part of the evil crime organization. He was a nobody, a nameless nobody

Boomstick: That is, until his rase to fame as a boxing champion. Everything was looking all Rocky Balboa for Balrog, otherwise known as Mike Balrog.

Wiz: That, doesn’t even hide the Mike Tyson homage

Boomstick: Duh, anyway he was then banned from the ring permanently when he crippled one of his opponents for life and killed another.

Wiz: Faced with no other option, he joined Shadaloo to be M. Bison’s top enforcer. Even being a computer scientist. For some reason

Boomstick: Anyway, Balrog is a very strong foe. Standing at 6’6” and weighing in at 225 lbs, he relies on raw power and dirty boxing. And can use many different attacks, such as a headbutt. Which is illegal in boxing

Wiz: He also uses the Dash Straight and Dash Upper, where he dashes forward and unleashes either a strong punch or an Anti-Air uppercut

Boomstick: He also has the Turn Punch, which he turns his back on an opponent and unleashes a charged punch, the longer he holds the charge. The more powerful the punch, obviously

Wiz: He also has the Dirty Bull, where he grapples the foe. Headbutts him, stomps his foot into the ground before unleashing a punch in the face. It’s high stun damage makes up for it’s low damage

Boomstick: But his greatest attacks are the Crazy Buffalo, where he delivers 5 savage punches. With the last one ending with a Turn Punch. And the Gigaton Blow..hue

Wiz: Uhn, he performs the turn punch twice followed by another turn punch capable of hitting the opponent multiple times. This attack is powerful enough to kill Dhalsim’s fully grown elephant

Boomstick: Balrog is a very skilled foe, like we’ve said he’s killed an elephant with the Gigaton Punch. Broke a billiards table with one punch, and can go toe to toe with the likes of Ken and Chun-Li. Damn this guy is badass!

Wiz: But, Balrog isn’t the best of Shadaloo. Balrog is more of a dominating bully than a crafty opponent. Always charging into battle without a strategy

Boomstick: He’s a primary example of Dumb Muscle. Also he never, ever uses kick attacks.

Wiz: He’s also really overconfident and short-tempered.

Boomstick: But, still at least he doesn’t need any pussy breaks after 3 minutes!

Balrog: Are there any tougher sandbags available?

Fight

Underground Death Battle Boxing Ring

Today was the day, the day that the Underground Death Battle Boxing Ring had it’s first match, it was gonna be a good one. As this boxing match had no rules unlike most boxing rings

Two combatants stepped into the ring, as did the Referee. “In the left corner, it is the punching Pokémon Hitmonchan!” The referee announced, as Hitmonchan let out his Pokémon cry

“And in the right corner, is the Shadaloo enforcer Balrog!” Balrog then slammed his fists together. “Bring it, wimp” Balrog mused, as Hitmonchan got his fists up. Meanwhile the referee revealed himself to be Kratos.

Something foretold that this wasn’t gonna go well for him..

FIGHT!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9MlKtr4dpY)

Hitmonchan kicked, or punched off the fight by swinging his fist at Balrog’s face to which he just walked back to avoid it. “Is that all you have? I’ll crush you with one swing” Balrog taunted, as he swung his fist at Hitmonchan

Hitmonchan dodged the punch by Balrog, and ran up to Balrog and sped up launching a  blinding fast punch, the Mach Punch. Balrog let out a grunt, before swinging his fist once again.

“Too” Balrog said, before swinging again. “Quick” he said again as he was making a word by word sentence. Balrog then swung his fist once again, to which Hitmonchan avoided again “For”

Hitmonchan just kept avoiding his attacks, including an attempted grapple. “Your” Balrog kept continuing, while swinging punches. Hitmonchan just kept evading “Own” Balrog kept continuing, until he landed a solid hit with Dash Straight

“Good!” Balrog finished, before Hitmonchan flew back to the near end of the arena. Hitmonchan then increased his speed with Agility before dashing back up to Balrog. Hitmonchan then swung his fist yet again

Balrog avoided, but instead it hit the referee Kratos right in the head and launched him down to the ground. But because it was no-rules boxing, there was no penalty in place and they just continued fighting.

“Why don’t you just let me knock you down 6-feet under, not like you have anything to prove” Balrog mused, but as he was ready to attack Hitmonchan unleashed a skyward uppercut, Sky Uppercut.

Balrog was launched slightly up while Hitmonchan was launched many feet in the air. As he began flying down Balrog dashed forward and used the uppercut, Dash Upper which sent Hitmonchan flying back

Hitmonchan was close to landing out of the ring, but by a few inches landed back on the ring and unleashed the Vacuum Wave. Which Balrog crossed his arms and tanked casually

“Is this the best you can do?” Balrog asked tauntingly as he ran at Hitmonchan once again, Hitmonchan began discharging electricity into his fists and unleashed the Thunder Punch at Balrog’s face

Balrog let out an “Argh!” and flew back aways to the middle of the ring. Hitmonchan then promptly ran towards Balrog, to which they began exchanging more punches to each other.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09KbGKECuss)

Both of them kept countering each other, but Hitmonchan’s punches proved to be faster and let Balrog skid back a bit “Alright let’s end this, how would you like to be punched to death!” Balrog exclaimed

Hitmonchan just got back in his fighting stance, and Balrog then turned away. Hitmonchan saw this as an opening, he didn’t want to go with his break. So he was about to punch him

But Balrog turned back and unleashed his charged punch, otherwise known as Turn Punch. But thankfully Hitmonchan had used Counter, and unleashed a punch twice as strong as Balrog’s

Hitmonchan’s fist then began heating up until it produced a flame, and then punched Balrog in the chest with Fire Punch. Balrog let out a yell as he was launched down, but got back up with a burn on his chest

Hitmonchan then began to focus, before unleashing an extremely powerful hit on Balrog. “I’ll still win..” Balrog said as he grappled and headbutted Hitmonchan before stomping his foot into the ground and socking him in the face

Hitmonchan dropped, but quickly rose up and both Hitmonchan and Balrog looked each other in the eye. Before running at each other, and Hitmonchan unleashed a flurry of punches with Comet Punch while Balrog unleashed a flurry with Crazy Buffalo

Hitmonchan ended up sliding back with the ending Turn Punch, “Hah! I am superior!” Balrog taunted, as he wound up the Gigaton Punch. But, just then Hitmonchan used Detect.

Hitmonchan avoided the Gigaton Punch, before running up to Balrog who was laughing expecting Hitmonchan to be obliterated. But his grin of joy turned to a distressed look when he saw Hitmonchan and yelled before Hitmonchan annihalated Balrog with Close Combat

K.O!

Balrog’s upper-half was completely pulverized, as Kratos just widened his eyes. He attempted to flee but Hitmonchan uppercutted Balrog’s lower half at Kratos and sent him flying beyond the horizon

“And the winner is, Hitmonchan!” Said an echoing voice coming from the underground arena. But, then the arena started to shake. And began collapsing, Hitmonchan fell to the ground. The audience fled, quickly realizing that..

..it was a sign of the first of many apocalypses to come

Results

Boomstick: *Imitating M. Bison* BALROOOOOOG!

Wiz: This was a close one, while Hitmonchan had superior speed and arguably greater strength. Balrog had superior experience and durability

Boomstick: But ultimately Balrog’s durability just couldn’t handle Hitmonchan’s concrete pulverizing punches

Wiz: Not to mention, Balrog really relies on brute force. But he didn’t have much to work with once Hitmonchan overpowered him

Boomstick: The Gigaton Punch would’ve been enough to kill Hitmonchan, but thanks to Detect that wouldn’t have been a problem. Looks like Balrog should’ve gone to the upper ranks

Wiz: The winner is, Hitmonchan
Who will you be rooting for?
 
22
 
3
 

The poll was created at 12:56 on July 10, 2015, and so far 25 people voted.

Next Time! (Ahomeschoolingroudon)

It's a battle of the two extremely overpowered saviors, in a battle of East meets West. Which one will prevail in the battle of legends?

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