Delphox VS Greninja VS Chesnaught! Was your latest starter the strongest?
Wiz: The Kalos region is a new world in Pokemon filled with many new species.
Boomstick: But before you can go off finding little animals to enslave and make fight to the death- I MEAN until they faint, you gotta get your own starter Pokemon. Chespin, Fennekin, or Froakie.
Wiz: Was your latest partner really the best choice?
Boomstick: Well, that's what we're gonna tell you today! Chesnaught, the bulky knight, Delphox, the fox magician, and Greninja, the ninja frog.
Wiz: For fairness we will be examining maxed out, wild Pokemon. For the uninformed, this means no special EV training or IV breeding, no pre-battle preparations (i.e held items), and no TM, Breed, or other unnaturally learned attacks. This way we will avoid any and all player influence.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE...
Wiz: The first starter Pokemon of the Kalos region evolves from Chespin, to Quilladin, and finally, to Chesnaught, the Spiky Armour Pokemon.
Boomstick: OKAY, what the hell is Gamefreak's deal with making the Grass-type starters of indeterminable origins? I mean, LOOK AT THIS THING! Some kind of hedgehog... squirrel... otter knight thing...
Wiz: Actually it's just a hedgehog and a knight/paladin mixed together with a bit of juggernaut. Moving on, Chesnaught is easily the best starter when it comes to physical attacks, with his Attack and Defense stats being well above that of the other two, unfortunately sacrificing his special stats to make this possible.
Boomstick: And it's kind of hard to run fast when you've got a giant shield on your back and are bulky as hell, but I'd take slaughtering my enemies with my bare hands over those any day! Chesnaught is strong enough to flip a 50-ton tank with one of it's weakest attacks and is tough enough to take a freakin' bomb to the face!
Wiz: Right. Moving on, Chesnaught's moveset is based mostly around grinding opponents into the ground with it's high Attack stat, with powerful moves such as Giga Impact, Hammer Arm and Rollout for batting them around like they're nothing.
Boomstick: But he can also take a change in pace and use dick moves like Pain Split, where he levels out the health of him and his target, Leech Seed for sucking up their health... again, or Bulk Up to make himself even stronger.
Wiz: But his two best moves are Wood Hammer, where he slams his arms down on opponents to completely crush them, and Spiky Shield, where he raises a... well shield of spikes to protect himself from in coming attacks, and should they be physical the attacker takes damage equal to 12.5% of their maximum health.
Boomstick: Damn, just imagine that. Some buddy's just charging at the dude and then, BOOM, instant impalement. And then when the next guy comes out he's just holding up his shield with the heads of his victims stuck on each spike... Holy shit I want to do that.
Wiz: *A-hem* As a Grass and Fighting type Pokemon, Chesnaught is extremely effective against Rock, Water and Ground type Pokemon.
Boomstick: But you'd be smart to keep it away from Fire, Psychic and Flying types. Because as we all know, a brain and a bird always kill fists.
Wiz: But Chesnaught's high physical potential just might keep it hitting hard enough and lasting long enough to win the day.
Chesnaught: *Jumps out of Pokeball with its signature cry*
Wiz: The second starter Pokemon of the Kalos region evolves from Fennekin, to Braixen, and finally, to Delphox, the Fox Pokemon.
Boomstick: And thankfully not another fighting-type. God knows how the fandom would've reacted if it was... Plus, it's a waaayyyy better wizard than the one next to me.
Boomstick: What? It has a wand which it can shoot magic-y stuff from, what do you got?
Wiz: This wizard prefers the scientific arts to the "magical" ones. You've seen my arm right? Moving on, Delphox is the "special" Pokemon of the three Kalos starters, meaning that it has the highest Special Attack and Special Defense stats, unfortunately held back by a lack in the "physical" department, and while not as slow as Chesnaught it's speed still isn't desirable.
Boomstick: Because of this, Delphox's moveset is all about them specials. He can use Fire Spin to trap you in a vortex of flame, Shadow Ball for type coverage, Psychic to throw you around, or Psyshock to go "fuck you" and hurt the opponent according to their defense and not their special defense... I don't get it, and you shouldn't try to.
Wiz: But it's two best attacks are Flamethrower and Mystical Fire, which can apparently reach temperatures equaling 5 400 degrees farenheit, a 2.5x hotter than the engine of a rocket. And by gazing into the flame at the tip of its branch, it can achieve a focused state that allows it to see into the future.
Boomstick: Really?! Geez I'm gonna have to start adding these things to my bucket list...
Wiz: Boomstick, I don't really think that's such a good idea...
Boomstick: Aaww, shut up ya pussy. Delphox is works best against Grass, Bug and Fighting-type Pokemon, but Water, Dark and Ghost-types are a bit tougher to deal with.
Wiz: But if it plays it's cards right, Delphox might just burn away its competition.
Delphox: *Jumps out of Pokeball, giving signature cry*
Wiz: The final starter Pokemon of the Kalos region evolves from Froakie, to Frogaider, and finally, to Greninja, the Ninja Pokemon.
Boomstick: Who's TOTALLY not a ripoff of the Ninja Turtles, changed into the species they're most commonly confused to be, painted blue and given a Miley Cyrus tongue. Totally.
Wiz: Of the three starters, Greninja is the most well-rounded of them all in terms of its physical and special stats, along with its high Speed stat it's capable of hitting hard and getting in or out of attacks. It's defense however, could use a good but more work.
Boomstick: He's also got a nice amount of type diverisity spread throughout his movepool, with a total of SEVEN different types throughout the whole thing, though two of those aren't attacking moves but whatever. He can slash opponents with Night Slash, hit them with a beam of psychic energy with Extrasensory, get in first and surprise foes with Shadow Sneak, or lick you with that humongous tongue of his, which is SOO disgusting that you can actually become incapable of moving afterwards.
Wiz: He can also switch up tactics and trick opponents with Double Team and Substitute (at the cost of some health in the latter's case), create a cloud of smoke with Smokescreen or eliminate any and all stat changes with Haze.
Boomstick: But you've really gotta watch out for Hydro Pump, where he blasts a powerful torrent of water at his opponent, and that cheap-ass Water Shuriken, where he repeatedly shoots multiple throwing stars of compressed water at his opponents at speeds that guaruntee him a hit before his opponent.
Wiz: The Water Shuriken can be launced at speeds so high, they can actually cut metal clean in two with ease. As you may recall from our previous Pokemon Royale champion, Blastoise, this means the throwing stars have a force of at least 55 000 PSI.
Boomstick: Eh, not as cool as seeing into the future with fire and a tree branch or riding into battle with the heads of victims on your weapon of choice, but whatever helps you win the fight.
Wiz: As a Water/Dark type, Greninja works best against Fire, Psychic, Rock and Ground type Pokemon. Staying away from Grass, Fighting and Electric types would probably be in its best interest though. But with his high attacking power and unmatched speed, Greninja may just take out everyone before they know what happened.
Greninja: *Jumps out of Pokeball giving signature cry*
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate, once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A POKEMON DEATH BATTLE!!!
It was a bright and sunny day in the Kalos region, as three Pokemon sat around a field happily enjoying it and playing together. These three were well-known here, after all they WERE the ones that new trainers would be given starting their adventure into the world of Pokemon. They were the Spiky Nut Pokemon, Chespin, the Fox Pokemon, Fennekin and the Bubble Frog Pokemon, Froakie. The three starters continued running around happily with each other, but little did any of them know how shortly that would last...
From seemingly out of nowhere, a massive amount of Rare Candies were dropped onto all of them, covering the three Pokemon. It was silent for a moment, but then light started to be emitted from the pile. After an explosion, the three starter Pokemon were gone, but in their place stood three larger ones with a fiery look in their eyes. These three were Chesnaught, the Spiky Armor Pokemon, Delphox, the Fox Pokemon, and Greninja, the Ninja Pokemon. They all stared each other down, the happiness that they shared moments ago was now gone, replaced with a burning desire to bring down the others down. Three Pokemon, three fully evolved starters, but only one winner...
Our battle begins with Greninja rushing towards Delphox at a blistering speed with its Quick Attack, hitting the Fox Pokemon head-on before following it up Night Slash to the stomach. The Fire-type stumbled about for a bit, before regaining its footing and firing a Flamethrower attack from the tip of its tree banch wand. The Ninja Pokemon managed to just narrowly avoid the attack by jumping over it, landing behind Delphox before Pounding it in the back of the head.
Meanwhile, Chesnaught was preparing himself for the fight he was about to join, using Bulk Up to increase his own power. When he was finally done setting up, he tucked his arms and legs into his shell and proceed to roll in place, before charging straight towards the two Pokemon with a Rollout attack. Greninja noticed this at the last second and suddenly vanished into thin air, leaving Delphox there to take the full brunt of the attack. Chesnaught knocked it down to the ground before coming out from its shell and sliding to a stop, looking back on its work with a smirk. It didn't last long however, as out of nowhere Greninja appeared behind the Grass-type, kicking it in the back. This was a perfect showing of the attack Shadow Sneak.
Chesnaught stumbled forward a bit before turning back around and firing a barrage of Pin Missiles at the Frog Pokemon. It managed to avoid the vast majority of them, but one of them managed to strike its knee causing it to buckle in pain. Chesnaught took advantage of this situation and slammed a Hammer Arm right down on Greninja's head, causing it to smash into the ground before he picked it up with a Vine Whip and threw it against a nearby tree. When it saw that its opponent wasn't beginning to stand up, it let out a roar in victory, which unfortunately didn't last long.
But he knew it, Chesnaught was being bombarded by multiple pinkish-purple orbs. He looked up to see a bruised Delphox rise to its feet, pointing its wand at its opponent. The Psyshocks continued to rain down on Chesnaught as it wailed in agony and pain, but then all of a sudden the pain stopped as he felt himself rise into the air.
Now it was being slammed multiple times into the ground by Delphox's Psychic attack, before it finally managed to build up the strength to fire a Pin Missile at the Mage. They all hit their mark, causing Delphox to lose its focus and drop Chesnaught, who quickly took advantage of this situation by rushing for his opponent, chomping down on its right arm with Bite.
Delphox howled in pain from this, as it felt Chesnaught's teeth sink deeper and deeper. The Grass-type got a taste of blood in its mouth and saw that as sign that it was making progress. Delphox however, then got the idea to ignite itself with Flame Charge, which surprised and hurt the Spiky Armor Pokemon A LOT. Delphox then charged straight towards the Grass-type, hitting it straight in the chest with its whole body causing it to reel in pain even more. Just as it began to open its eyes again however, it was just about over.
Chesnaught opened its eyes and noticed Delphox waving its wand and some smalls flames surrounding it, and before it knew it, he was surrounded by a vortex of burning hot flames. Fire Spin.
It screamed as the flames were burning away at him and seemingly closing in. Delphox knew that the deed had been done when the cries stopped...
The battle was not over however, and it knew this.
It quickly turned around in time to use its Psychic attack to make a blue orb shoot right past it and hit a nearby tree. Greninja had risen. It still looked battered from the beating Chesnaught had given it, but it didn't surprise Delphox that it was still standing. Clouds began to swirl as the once sunny sky began to turn grey. They stared each other down, only one was making it out of this alive.
Once again, Greninja rushed towards Delphox with a Quick Attack, except this time the Wizard Pokemon was anticipating it. Delphox sidestepped the attack at the last second which sent Greninja flying right past it. As it did so, Delphox shot a Flamethrower at its back causing it to fall to the ground. As it attempted to get back up, Delphox followed it up with a Mystical Fire and Fire Blast combo, severely burning the Water-type and causing it to cry in pain and fall back on the ground, and it didn't look like it was getting back up this time. It was time to end this.
Delphox once again started to wave its wand as a small number of flames started surrounding Greninja. The flames then shot upwards as a column of fire, slowly closing in on Greninja as it let out one last shriek of agony before it died down. Delphox smirked at its work, knowing that its enemy had been defeated. It allowed the flames to die down, but was shocked by what it saw next.
Greninja was nowhere to be found. In its place however, was a large, stuffed, green monster. Substitute. Greninja had gotten away from the flames, Delphox had just been pounding away on nothing. But where? Where was i-?
It was then met with a kick to the back of the head and was sent flying across the clearing as Greninja suddenly appeared again, looking completely fine thanks to the Substitute and Shadow Sneak combo. Delphox couldn't believe it. It made an attempt at another Flamethrower by raising its wand, but Greninja predicted this, shooting a Water Pulse which knocked the wand right out of Delphox's hand, leaving it completely vulnerable. Time for a little payback.
Greninja rushed at Delphox and slashed it right across the chest with a Night Slash, causing it to bleed a bit and followed it up with a point-blank Water Pulse, which sent Delphox reeling back. As it began to regain its footing, Delphox tried a Flame Charge, but Greninja simply countered back with a Hydro Pump, extinguishing the flames and sending Delphox right into a tree on the brink of unconsciousness.
Greninja walked over to its fallen adversary, picking it up in one hand and taking a look at it. He knew it couldn't move anymore. It was covered in dirt and mud, a little blood covered its fur from when it got hit with the Night Slash and Chesnaught's Bite. It was severely bruised, battered and broken. Greninja felt a little sorry for it and decided to finish it quickly.
It materialized in its free hand a shuriken of compressed water. It closed its eyes, held the shuriken up to Delphox's neck and...
Greninja released the now lifeless corpse and let it slump to the ground, the day having been won. Greninja began to walk away from the clearing knowing he had been victorious.
Or had he?
All of a sudden, Greninja felt a tug on its left leg, and a pang of fear suddenly shot through its body. No... There was no way...
But there was. Greninja looked down and became even more terrified as it looked down and saw green whip wrapped around its leg. Greninja followed the whip to its source and was shocked at what it saw.
Chesnaught was back.
The Grass-type wasn't looking great. It was covered in burn marks and blisters, but it looked on with a fierce fire burning in its eyes, and it was all directed right at Greninja. All the Ninja Frog could think was how? It saw Chesnaught get engulfed and burned alive in those flames, so how was it-? Chesnaught seemed to understand what it was wondering, then with a smirk pointed with its free hand to the spikes on its arms, and suddenly it all clicked.
Spiky Shield. It must have used that at the last second to protect itself from the flames and escape. This was NOT good.
Chesnaught yanked on the Vine Whip, pulling Greninja towards him. It then grabbed the Water-type and slammed its head into its chest. Greninja felt some of its energy being sapped away and could see that Chesnaught's wounds seemed to ever-so-slightly heal. Pain Spilt had been used.
After it finished evening out their health, Chesnaught threw it back across the clearing, only this time instead of slamming into a tree Greninja simply slid to a stop. Rain began pouring down from the cloudy sky. It was time to finish this fight.
Greninja made the first move, rushing across the clearing and smashed its hand across Chesnaught's face with a Pound, who in retaliation charged back with a Tackle which Greninja intercepted with a Quick Attack. The two knocked each other back, though Chesnaught was the first to get up as Greninja still recoiled from the attack. Chesnaught walked up to its opponent, but was surprised as he received a sucker punch to the face known as Feint Attack and knocked away.
Looking back, it just barely managed to react in time and use Spiky Shield as it saw an Extrasensory head its way. When he was certain the attack was over, he looked out to see that Greninja was nowhere in sight. It knew what was coming.
It quickly turned around and grabbed the foot that was headed towards its head, shocking Greninja quite a lot. Chesnaught them slammed it into the ground and punched it with a Hammer Arm in the stomach, causing it to cough up some blood. Greninja made an attempt at retaliation with a Hydro Pump, but Chesnaught stopped this by grabbing it by the throat before it could get the attack off.
Chesnaught then slammed its arm down against Greninja's chest with a Needle Arm, which lead to a couple cracking sounds, then threw his almost fallen adversary high into the air. Chesnaught pulled off a quick Bulk Up, then prepared its finisher.
Chesnaught reeled back its arm as it glowed a greenish color. Then, right as Greninja was in front of him...
Chesnaught slammed its Wood Hammer right into Greninja. The Ninja Pokemon was sent hurdling across the clearing, even past it as it was knocked through multiple trees, leading to many cracked bones and bloody spots all over its body. It had been finished.
Chesnaught waited a few tense moments, just make sure it had a truly fallen. When nothing came back, he knew he had won. The sky began to clear up, and Chesnaught let out a large roar in victory.
Boomstick: HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS BRUTAL!
Wiz: Indeed. Though the other two starters had their own advantages, Chesnaught's were simply larger in comparison.
Boomstick: Delphox was knocked out of the competition pretty quickly. It didn't have a single move that would truly cause damage to Greninja, and anything it inflicted on Chesnaught could quite honestly be matched despite the type disadvantage.
Wiz: And while Greninja may have held the largest moveset, Chesnaught's was more advantageous. Spiky Shield could be used at any time to sop any of the other two's attacks, and Pain Split would allow it to always keep things on even grounds.
Boomstick: And you should all already know about our "rock-paper-scissors" explanation, so we're not gonna bother explaining it. Chesnaught really hammered the competition
Wiz: The winner is Chesnaught.
- The author of the fight created a blog in case anyone had any questions about the fight's outcome, which can be viewed here: