TMNT VS DC Comics! When the two hero ninjas from fiction of the night collide, there can only be one winner! Who will win? Who will die?
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Boomstick: There is always gonna be a bit of crime going on in the middle of the day, but if that's something that happens, there's sure to be criminals also staying awake in the middle of the night.
Wiz: So who do you call to beat the shit out of them? Why a pair of motherfucking night guardians, 'cause why not?
Boomstick: Batman. Defender of Gotham city.
Wiz: And Leonardo. The leader of a group of human turles- WHAT.
Boomstick: Wiz? you ok? Anyways... He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
(Cue Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1987 Main Theme Rock/Metal Cover)
Wiz: Leonardo, the leader of the team is smart, strategic with a strong sense of honour.
Boomstick: Too bad he traded his sense of humour for that sense of honour. This guy always means serious business. His weapon of choice is the Ninjaken swords: Shorter, sturdier and straighter than an ordinary Katana, and designed for swift deadly strikes! Out of all the Turtles' weapons, the Ninjaken is the only one specifically designed to murder people! What's better than one Ninjaken? Two, Damnit!
Wiz: In many timelines, Leonardo's the one who ultimately defeats the Shredder, though always with plenty of help. As leader, he is usually the one with a plan. He spends most of his time training his body and mind under his Master Splinter's instruction and follows Bushido, a strict Samurai code of honour and duty. At one point, he even fought and killed a sort of physical embodiment of the Devil.
Wiz: He's trained in Ninjitsu and Bushido all his life, shaping his body and mind to master close combat, swordsmanship, honor and the art of invisibility.
Boomstick: He's also the strategist of the turtle team, who are now all dead. Sooo... yeah.
Wiz: Leonardo is especially skilled in use of environment to outsmart and outmaneuver an opponnent. He is also the only Ninja Turtle in any timeline who has studied under two masters, Splinter the rat, and the Ancient one.
Boomstick: Giving Keanu Reeves a much needed break!
Wiz: Turtles proportionally have smaller vital organs and far more muscle mass than humans. Leo's actually been stabbed plenty of times in the series and walked away, and all four turtles have been trained in Chi Kung and can control their breathing and heart rate to survive extreme conditions.
Wiz: However, Leonardo finds it difficult to accept failure. Should things go horribly wrong, his concentration can quickly slip away from him, leaving him sloppy and inprecise.
Boomstick: And the 2003 version have the Acolyte Medallion, with this Leonardo transform in a FUCKING dragon.
Wiz: But we don' use the dragon.
Boomstick: Leo doesn't like to lose.
Leonardo (1987 cartoon version): "Quit clowning you guys! This is serious!"
(Cue The Dark Knight Trilogy Main Theme)
Wiz: When Bruce Wayne was young, his parents were killed by a common thug in front of him.
Boomstick: But then he conquered his fear from an army of bats, learned more than 100 martial arts and became the bat-like detective/superhero that we all know and love, Batman.
Wiz: He wears a batsuit that weighs one tenth of a ton, stores up to 200,000 volts of electricity to make his suit double as a taser to his foes, and made of Nomex Reinforced Fabric, as well as being flame and shock resistant. Coming equip with a flame resistant memory cloth cape, that doubles as a glider...
Boomstick: So it's like his non-superhuman ability to fly?
Wiz: Yes, also the Batsuit comes with a pair of blade armed gauntlets...
Boomstick: Like the Shredder.
Wiz: He also wears steel toed boots, a nose piece gas filter, and is design in the shape of a bat to evoke fear to his foes.
Boomstick: But let's not forget his Utility Belt, this nifty little baby carries different kinds of equipment ranging from the Grappling Hook, Gas Mask, Tear Gas, Smoke Pellets, Shock Gloves, Batarangs...
Wiz: In regular and in bomb form.
Boomstick: and even the Ready-to-Spray Explosive Gel, a type of substance that he sprays on any surface in the shape of a bat before exploding into impact.
Wiz: Batman is quite the martial artist and skilled detective, he has accomplished many impossible feats that no mere mortal is capable of doing.
Boomstick: Why? It's because he is the Goddamn Batman, that's why.
Batman: I only work in black and sometimes very, very dark grey.
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
(Cue Batman Returns The Final Confrontation)
Batman is driving his Batmobile and he stops piloting to exit the car, When Batman is going to walking Leonardo appeared exiting out of the sewers.
Batman: Who are you your turtle monster?
Leonardo: I'm Leonardo, the ninja turtle and who are you?
Batman: I'm Batman the dark knight and you are here to invade my city?
Leonardo: No, i'm here to find my brothers who are helping me to rescue the April 'O Neil!
Batman: Let's fight now ninja turtle!
Both enters in combat positions!
(Cue I Beam Fight TMNT)
Leonardo runs at Batman to slash him but Batman blocks the ninjaken sword with his glove, Leonardo walked back and he throws a shuriken but Batman throws a batarang hitting the shuriken, Batman runs at Leonardo punching him in the face, Leonardo tries to slash Batman but Batman uppercutted and he throws a explosive batarang knocking Leonardo back.
Leonardo wokes up but Batman throws 3 smoke pellets creating a large temporary cloud of smoke, Leonardo coughed by the cloud of smoke and he got knocked back with another explosive batarang, the cloud of smoke disappeared and Batman appeared to punches Leonardo but Leonardo blocks with his ninjaken sword and he stabs in Batman's chest.
Batman screams and his face got punched by Leonardo and he got knocked back to the ground, Leonardo tries to stab Batman's chest but Batman ducks and he throws a batarang into Leonardo's chest, Leonardo screams as he got eletrocuted by Batman shock gloves, Batman throws a glue grenade at Leonardo legs, Leonardo tries to walk but he can't because he is trapped in the glue.
Batman then throws more explosive batarangs on Leonardo's head and chest causing him to explode in blood.
Batman: Lol you're weak!
Batman go back to drive his batmobile while Leonardo's blood is in the ground.
(Cue Batman Arkham City Main Theme)
Boomstick: Whoa, what a stomp!
Wiz: Both are evenly matched however, when it comes to martial arts experience, Batman have more weapons, more durability, more speed and more strenght.
Boomstick: Looks like Leonardo will became a turtle soup!
Wiz: The Winner is Batman!