Mario vs Banjo-Kazooie

Mario VS Banjo-Kazooie

Mario vs Banjo-Kazooie! Which of these N64 titans will prevail in a fight to the death? This is a collab between Digilord 64 and Metal Mario 875. Enjoy!

Intro (Digilord 64)

Wiz: The N64; a console with amazing games.

Boomstick: But two series on that console stood out from the rest. The bear and bird jiggy-hunting duo known as Banjo-Kazooie from the series of the same name.

Wiz: And Mario, the heroic Italian plumber from the Super Mario series.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And we're here to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a DEATH BATTLE.

Banjo-Kazooie (Digilord 64)

(Cue Spiral Mountain)

Wiz: Banjo was once a young bear happily walking along on Breegul Beach untill he found a little red bird named Kazooie. Kazooie and Banjo immediately became best friends untill the very end. They spent their days rescuing villagers, saving the world, and finding golden puzzle pieces known as jiggies.

Boomstick: And damn, these guys can fight! They can shoot elemental eggs, slam their heavy backpack on enemies, attack with a metal wrench, roll into stuff, levitate objects, punch, peck, land down on the ground and use Kazooie as a drill, and hatch mini robotic Kazooies to go around and self destruct!

Wiz: Kazooie has been shown to easily carry and fly Banjo around at high speeds. She can also help Banjo glide and swim faster. Speaking of swimming, Kazooie can even become a torpedo underwater.

Boomstick: But there's another awesome thing to talk about: Vehicles. You heard me right. Vehicles.

Wiz: In Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts Kazooie can wave her wrench in the air to summon vehicles they've built. These vehicles can be cars, planes, boats, spaceships, moving fortresses, jets, tanks, and almost anything their little minds can think of. The weapons on the vehicles can be bombs, grenades, eggs, metal fists, spikes, flamethrowers, and even a self destruct/eject button. They also have the Jiggy Rain ability where they rain down jiggies on opponent's and greatly damage them.

Boomstick: Now, if we're talking about how fast these vehicles can go, try faster than light on for size. As long as they've got enough jets and engines, they can leave Sonic the Hedgehog in the dust.

Wiz: As for feats, Banjo has walked in lava like it was nothing, survived dropping thousands of feet, beaten up dragons, dinosaurs, witches, and robots, and restored the entire Banjo-Kazooie universe's timeline. Now, onto the weaknesses-

Boomstick: WHAT ABOUT THE WONDER WING AND BOGGY'S GYM?

Wiz: What? Oh yeah. Kazooie can make Banjo invincible for a short time with the Wonder Wing and Banjo has become extremely durable, fast, and strong after working out at Boggy's gym in Nuts and Bolts.

Boomstick: Thanks dude, carry on.

Wiz: Banjo is weak to being crushed by large objects, and Banjo has a limited supply of feathers and eggs for flying and shooting. Also, the vehicles can run out of fuel and ammo over time and parts like the wheels can break off.

Boomstick: Too bad Rare won't give us Banjo-Threeie if they win.

(Cue Jiggy Fanfare)

Banjo: Guh-huck!

Mario (Metal Mario 875)

(Cue ~ Mario's Theme)

Wiz: Super Mario. But before he got that name, Mario was a normal plumber along with his brother Luigi. They were popular and talented plumbers in Brooklyn, and were called to the job one day. However, somehow, while they were working the job the day, they got inhaled down the drain, and spat into the Mushroom Kingdom. Here's where he started to save Princess Peach from Bowser, which leads to his abilities.

Boomstick: First of all, Mario's Jumping abilities are remarkable, as he can spring 80 feet high, and his stomps are strong enough to demolish a CASTLE!! Plus, he has a few varients like the normal Jump, Drill Jump, and his Ground Pound.

Wiz: But that's not all, as Mario is an extremely skilled hand-to-hand combatant, as he knows basically every type of punch and kick there is, and he was trained by the Fire God in the art of the Fire Brand. Using this, Mario can infuse flame into his attacks and shoot fireballs without the Fire Flower. Plus, these flames are as hot as the sun, as they are unaffected by water, just like Bowser's, which would equal up to 3.5 million degrees F., and 2 million degrees C. And his final technique is the Star Spin, which can knock around PLANET sized enemies like PINBALLS!

Boomstick: However, Mario also has a shitload of power-ups at his disposal. The Fire Flower strengthens his flame. The Ice Flower can freeze any liquid from water to lava, and he can shoot iceballs to freeze enemies. The Feather allows him to fly, float, cause small-scale earthquakes, deflect projectiles, electrocute enemies, and smack enemies with his Cape.

Wiz: The Mega Mushroom transforms Mario into Mega Mario, hugely increasing strength and speed and making him invincible for 30 seconds. The Star tremendously increases speed, strength, flexibility, stamina, and makes him invincible for 15 seconds. The Metal Cap immensely increases strength and weight as well as making Metal Mario invincible for 25 seconds. The Ultra Hammer can knock small enemies around the world, destroy basically anything, and deflect projectiles.

Boomstick: And this isn't even all. He has some really crazy feats!

(Cue ~ Staff Credits)

Wiz: Mario's strength is immense, as he lifted a 100 ton castle with ease and punted it 40 feet away. His durability is massive, as he survived a hypernova without a scratch. His speed is impressive, as he can nearly escape a black hole, unless he gets to the horizon, putting his speed nearly FTL. And his reactions are FTL, as he can easily dodge lasers and lightning. Sadly, he doesn't like to use his head until he really needs too.

Boomstick: This plumber is one you don't wanna mess with.

Mario: Thank you-a so much, for playing-a my game.

pre-fight/pre-death battle and special thanks (Digilord 64)

Special thanks to Metal Mario 875 for agreeing to do this with me.

Wiz: The combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

It was a quiet afternoon in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario was chatting with a toad in the castle until he heard Peach let out a shriek of fear.

Kazooie: Calm down, we're just asking for directions.

Banjo: Do you know how to get to Spiral Mountain? I think we made a wrong turn at Rusty Bucket Bay.

Peach: Mario! These hideous monsters are trying to get me!

Kazooie: You're not too pretty either, princess.

Mario rushed up, led Peach to safety, and got in a fighting stance. Kazooie did the same, and Banjo followed.

Fight!

Death Battle (Digilord 64)

(Cue Banjo Kazooie final boss)

Mario pulls out his hammer and chases after the duo. Kazooie carries Banjo around, safe from the rampaging plumber. Mario fires out a barrage of fireballs at them, which Kazooie counters with ice eggs.

Kazooie: Hey Banjo, feel free to help out!

Banjo: Err, okay I guess.

Banjo jumps over Mario and hits him in the back. Mario recovers and knocks them into a wall with his hammer.

Kazooie: Hey, we've got a cool tool too!

Kazooie levitates the hammer out of Mario's hands and through the window. Mario grabs Banjo and throws him out of the window. The bear falls hopelessly towards the pavement.

Kazooie: I guess I have to do everything myself...

She glides Banjo to the safety of the ground below, but Mario jumps down after them and suffers a bit of fall damage. Kazooie grabs Mario and starts slapping him across the face untill Banjo punches him straight in the gut.

Mario: Grr...

Mario ground-pounds on Banjo and burns Kazooie. Just before he was about to star spin into them, Kazooie summons a jet they climb into and escape in. Mario hits an item block and gets a Feather. He flies after them.

Banjo: I guess we're having a fight in the air now. Cool.

Kazooie starts spamming their weapons to try and hit Mario.

Kazooie: C'mon, lose already you dumb plumber! 

Vehicle: Warning: Out of ammo

Kazooie: Oh great. How could this get any worse?

Vehicle: Warning: Low fuel

Kazooie: Welp.

Mario lands on top of the vehicle and starts spinning into it. Mario was about to land the final blow until...

SELF DESTRUCT AND EJECT INITIATED.

Mario: Doh!

Kazooie: Later Mario!

BOOM!

As they were falling, Mario kicked Banjo in the gut. Kazooie got mad and pecked Mario 10 whole times in a row.

Mario: This is-a-getting ridiculous!

Kazooie: Shut it.

The Bear, Bird, and Plumber landed on Bowsers Castle. They were all badly hurt, and one hit could end it.

outcome 1 (Digilord 64)

(Cue Banjo's theme)

Banjo summons a car, grabs an item box, and gets the Jiggy Rain ability. Mario is hit by this attack and is knocked out. Kazooie jumps out of the backpack and throws Mario into the lava. She fires her entire grenade egg supply at him, completely destroying any chance of him surviving.

Banjo: A bit overkill, Kazooie.

Kazooie: Meh.

K.O.!

outcome 2 (Metal Mario 875)

(Cue ~ Metal Mario's Theme)

However, Mario was finished playing around. "I suppose I should-a let you intruders know that I've been playing all this-a time." Mario stated, electing shock on both Banjo & Kazooie's faces. Mario whipped out the Metal Cap, transforming into Metal Mario.

Metal Mario darted towards them, too fast for them to react to, and he literally cracked Banjo over the head with his metallic leg, completely shattering the poor bear's skull. Banjo fell lifeless to the ground, with Kazooie... Just plain shocked. She tried to avoid Metal Mario's fatal punch, and succeeded, but it didn't matter, as mere milli-seconds afterwards he snatched her into his hands, and quite literally ripped the bird in half.

K.O.!

Metal Mario jumped off Bowser's Castle, landing on the ground, and making his way back to Peach's Castle.

Results 1 (Digilord 64)

(Cue Mumbo's Mountain)

Wiz: This was a very close fight.

Boomstick: I can see the comments now: BUT MARIO SURVIVED A SUPERNOVA!

Wiz: Yes, but he also dies by slightly touching a goomba. By that logic, goombas are even more powerful than a supernova. Even if it is just game mechanics. Those Lumas protected him from the supernova. Mario's extra durability might've simply helped the Lumas keep him alive, but that's just it. And yes, the Lumas did indeed protect him.

Boomstick: Wow. Good one Wiz. Like seriously, you just put an entire group of angry fanboys to rest.

Wiz: Thanks. Banjo-Kazooie have many more abilities in their base form than Mario and they also have a lot more weaponry. Other advantages include there being 2 of them, them having more projectiles than Mario in their base form, vehicles they can summon on command while Mario's kart is off somewhere, levitation, faster flight, and gliding. Plus, this is how the fight would go if it continued.

Mario: Okey dokey! I've got a fire flower-OH NO! IT'S FREAKING LEVITATING AWAY! It's a good thing I've just activated this star...but I can't kill them because they're using wonder wing. I'll just use my hammer...that I don't have anymore. Punching it is then.

Boomstick: I guess Mario lost to 2 other platforming legends now.

Wiz: The winner is Banjo-Kazooie.

Results 2 (Metal Mario 875)

(Cue ~ Super Mario Bros.)

Boomstick: PLEASE, DON'T CALL PETA!! THE ANIMALS CAN'T ALWAYS WIN!

Wiz: Regardless, there's a reason for Mario winning. For one, he's more experienced, clocking in at 27 years old, and been fighting since a baby. For two, he's stronger, able to lift 100 tons with relative ease while Banjo & Kazooie can't really lift anything without the wrench. With Mario's power-ups like Star, Metal Cap, and Mega Mushroom simply ensures he's leagues above them in strength. For three, he's indefinitely faster, as without their vehicles Banjo & Kazooie can't reach high speeds, while base form Mario can nearly reach light speed. And including the Feather increases Mario's speed to much greater heights than in his base form. Mario's reaction speed was also leagues higher, as the guy dodges freakin' LIGHTNING without effort.

Boomstick: They guy was indefinitely more durable, as tanking a fall from space without a scratch and surviving a hypernova without any negative side-effects. And before you say he didn't survive, let's throw 'em outta the ballpark right now. The Lumas didn't protect anyone from the hypernova itself. They protected against the Supermassive Black Hole, but were sucked in and killed as well in the Tornado scene. And Rosalina didn't protect them cause she don't have any protective powers anyway. And the reset didn't bring them back to life. This one's a doozy, so try to keep up. When a reset occurs, it's suppose to perfectly reset EVERYTHING. And it did, for the most part. Here's where it gets down to the juicy parts. Mario, Luigi, and Rosalina were not only seen before the reset, but were not in perfect positions after the reset. The reset rebuilt the world, and brought the dead back to life. But Mario, Luigi, Rosalina, Peach, and Bowser didn't die, cause they were discombobulated after the reset, which isn't suppose to happen if the reset even effected them at all. This indicates that Mario fairly tanked it, and survived without a scratch. Plus, his power-ups give him even better durability. A Goomba hurting him is Game Mechanics, meant to hurt him simply for challenging reasons. By that logic, Banjo can't survive an octopus but can survive 1000 feet falls.

Wiz: Believe us, we know this makes literally no sense, but remember, Nintendo is one of the greatest gaming industries ever, so we better not question it. Basically it comes down to this. Mario carried the arsenal, strength, speed, durability, and skill advantage, knowing much more about fighting, housing every hand-to-hand combat skill there is, pyrokinesis, and has extremely great Jumping abilities. And the final thing to counter, while Banjo-Kazooie had they're wrench to levitate objects away, Mario's strength was much more. For example: Obviously Mario has better strength in base form, so they'd be unable to steal his weapons for the sole purpose of Mario being too strong. And even if Banjo-Kazooie had vehicles, Mario's stats alone would be quite enough to counter any of it. And let's not forget that Mario's rather use to being outnumbered, and is perfectly fine during things like that. Plus, while maybe Banjo-Kazooie had more abilities or weaponry, Mario's stats and lethal weapons as well as lethal abilities to overcome Banjo-Kazooie easily.

Boomstick: At least Mario won something.

Wiz: The winner is Mario.