|Mario vs Link|
|Season 5, Episode 42|
|Sonic vs Rainbow Dash||Toon Link vs Bowser Jr.|
Mario vs Link is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
Wiz: Nintendo, has been creating many great games ever since...
Boomstick: But these two... damn! They are iconic!
Wiz: Mario, the hero who protects the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser.
Boomstick: And Link, the hero who protects Hyrule from Ganon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: A stork was flying through the land, carrying two living beings in its pouch.
Boomstick: A Magikoopa was flying through the land, searching for something please it's young master Bowser.
Wiz: And on that fateful day, the stork dropped the pouch. The two babies fell from the sky. And they landed on… Yoshi's Island.
Boomstick: The Magikoopa named Kamek swooped down and snatched one of the babies, Luigi! But he couldn't get the other one!
Wiz: The other child was named Mario, a Star Child destined for greatness. So, Mario and Yoshi set off on an adventure, and rescued Luigi.
Boomstick: Just born and he already had an adventure! Damn, Mario is iconic! Once he grew up, Mario was still extremely powerful!d
Wiz: At that point in time, Mario had started his career as a carpenter with his brother Luigi. But one day, Mario's girlfriend, Pauline, was taken away by a monstrous gorilla named Donkey Kong. Mario left his job and went off to rescue his girl.
Boomstick: He was clearly successful! And after that, Mario decided to live in peace with a great job in plumbing.
Wiz & Boomstick: … AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wiz: There was never any rest for this plumber. Princess Toadstool, aka Princess Peach, was taken by the fully grown Bowser. So, Mario had to go out and save the princess.
Boomstick: After going through ten billion of those other castles, Mario defeated Bowser by dipping him in lava, and rescuing Peach! And after that one adventure, Mario became super strong and popular too!
Wiz: But he couldn't have done any of it without his abilities. Mario is an expert in melee attacks. His most notable move is the jump. Mario will leap into the air, landing onto the enemies head. After landing the first time, Mario can hop up and land again with more power.
Boomstick: He also likes to punch! With his powerful fists, Mario can shatter solid brick blocks with ease! He can also hit Boo's so hard that they go flying forward!
Wiz: But Mario's most used weapon is his hammer. This weapon is a wooden hammer that Mario uses to whack foes' faces in. If he hits at just the right time, the hammer can cause devastating damage. He also has a more powerful hammer with made of steel.
Boomstick: But Mario is absolutely nothing without his power-ups! And his most iconic one is the fire flower! This baby makes Mario even more deadly, letting the Italian plumber shoot freaking fireballs out of his palms! And when he charges up, he can shoot the biggest fireball the world has ever seen!
Wiz: However, even without the Fire Flower, Mario is pyrokinetic. Learning these skills from some crazy massage ladies, Mario can make fire in his hands.
Boomstick: Mario also has the Ice Flower, which is like the Fire Flower but it shoots ice, capable of freezing foes in an instant! And the Gold Flower turns Mario into gold! In this form, he can shoot gigantic balls of gold! These gold balls turn anything they touch into gold also! Damn, that's a lot of gold!
Wiz: These gold powers can even turn solid brick into coins.
Boomstick: How the fuck does that work?
Wiz: Who really knows. Anyways, Mario's arsenal doesn't even come close to stopping there. With a Mega Mushroom, Mario will turn gigantic. Just bumping into steel pipes and bricks will instantly shatter them. However, this Mega form doesn't last too long at all, only really standing long enough to be able to wreak havoc throughout World 1-1.
Boomstick: Mario also carries around a little buddy by the name of FLUDD! This little backpack-hose is extremely useful too! It lets Mario squirt water out, able to blast away paint with a single squirt, and laugh foes feet away! Mario can also use this as a little jetpack!
Wiz: With the Metal Cap, Mario is a beast. He may run slower, jump lower, and sink under water, but he can punch through black bricks, which are way more durable then normal bricks.
Boomstick: He can lift Bowser and spin him around, launching him far far away!
Wiz: The Tanooki Suit turns Mario into a—
Wiz: AHEM. The Tanooki Suit turns Mario into a racoon-like creature. In this form, Mario gets a tail that can shatter bricks, and is able to temporarily hover in the air. And now we're making Mario another animal-lover with bee suit. This suit let's Mario cling to walls, stand on flowers, and hover. However, water will transform him back into his normal Mario form.
Boomstick: Mario can also pick up the Cloud Flower! This power-up let Mario create three clouds under his feet by spinning! These clouds last a decent amount of time, and can be clown around by wind! And, it also lets him stand on pre-existing clouds!
Wiz: Then there's the Spring Suit.
Boomstick: Ugh, I hate that one.
Wiz: This allows for Mario to bounce around in a spring. He cannot attack in this, but he can jump extremely high.
Boomstick: The Frog suit is yet again another animal suit, allowing for Mario to breathe underwater! And the last power-up we'll mention is the Penguin Suit! This suit not only makes Mario a furry again, but he can run on ice like it was normal ground, and slide on his belly to speed up his adventure!
Wiz: That's still not it... Mario still has his greatest power-up... And that is, the Rainbow Star. Using this makes Mario virtually invincible. Not only can he not be hurt at all, but his speed also increases. However, this form has a time limit.
Boomstick: Mario isn't all good, though! He rushes into his journeys, and a lot of the times he tried to find a way to get vacation! His power-ups have downsides too! And Mario, while he has the experience, isn't as smart as you'd think! Even as a doctor, Mario doesn't really do anything too special!
Wiz: Still, Mario is the most iconic game character out there. And he's surely fit to be the hero of the mushroom kingdom.
Wiz: War, armed conflict between two different groups with two different beliefs.
Boomstick: Hyrule Kingdom, a peaceful town lead by a lazy king with horrible guards!
Wiz: These two things are completely different. But opposites attract, and one day, Hyrule engaged in a gigantic war. And on that day, one man was slain...
Boomstick: That man had a sick wife! And so, her soldier husband murdered, the ill woman jumped onto a horse and rode as far away as she could, carrying her baby in her arms!
Wiz: But the illness
was bad. Soon, the mother died, living her baby all alone in the woods...
Boomstick: But that didn't last too long! The boy grew up!
Wiz: His name was Link. A descendant of the old hero Link who defeated the evil lord Demise before Hyrule was even a thing, this Link was a natural hero destined for greatness.
Boomstick: That's right! The three goddesses tasked Link with defeating any evil that enters the world, no matter how big or small.
Wiz: And to do that, Link needed weapons to help him on his adventure. And his main toy is the Master Sword. Forged at the beginning of the Zelda Timeline, this blade is a legendary sword. It not only fits perfectly in Link's left hand, it also can deflect light-based magic and any other projectiles that Link comes across.
Boomstick: He also has things to jack up this awesome sword! With the help of both Hyrule and Lorule's master sword smiths, and with four pieces of Master Ore, the Master Sword's blade turned gold... and became twice as powerful as normal!
Wiz: Link got some amazing training with the Master Sword too. In Skyward Sword and Wind Waker, Link learned from a master of swordplay how to do special techniques in sword fighting. Aside from your everyday horizontal and vertical slashes, one of Link's most powerful slashing moves is the spin attack. With it, Link spins quickly a few times, completely destroying anything around him.
Boomstick: With the Golden Master Sword, the range of the spin attack gets bigger! Link can also move while spinning, but doing this makes him dizzy after! Plus, did you know, the Master Sword shoots lasers!
Wiz: Right. When at full health, Link can shoot shock waves out of his blade, which while they are just as powerful as normal slashes, give Link the range he needs in a sword duel. Another little thing he can do with the Master Sword is something called the Skyward Strike.
Boomstick: Wait, is that from Skyward Sword?
Wiz: Ummmm... Yeah... You played the game while during research, didn't you?
Boomstick: I was going to, but I can't freaking beat the game because of these stupid motion controls!
*Boomstick storms out of room*
Boomstick: MOTION CONTROLS SUCK!
*After a few moments of awkward silence, Boomstick quietly re-enters the room.*
Wiz: You okay now?
Boomstick: Yeah... I just realized that it wasn't the motion controls. My battery was dead the whole time I was trying to get to the first dungeon of the game.
Wiz: Didn't Fi warn you?
Boomstick: Who listens to Fi? Like, God, she's annoying as fuck.
Wiz: True... ANYWAYS, back to the Skyward Strike. By raising his blade to the skies, the goddesses bring power to the sword and light it up with power. The sword glows blue, and after a swing of any kind, a blue beam will shoot out of the Master Sword.
Boomstick: Link is seriously a master swordsman on a whole different level! He beat two masters like mentioned earlier, bested Ganondorf in swordplay many times, and even cut through… wait for it… trees. He cut through fucking trees.
Wiz: But that isn't everything he has by a long shot. With attack comes defence, and his main form of that is the Hylian Shield. Forged by a literal God, this shield is virtually indestructible. It can tank any sort of blast, and Link always has access to it right strapped onto his right arm. It's so good that it just doesn't need to be jacked up at all.
Boomstick: But that's far from all he has for defence! Link wears normal chain mail, but that's still not it! Link carries around both the Blue and Red Ring! The Blue Ring multiplies his chain mail by two, and the Red Ring multiplies it by four! So Link's chain mail is multiplied by eight right there! Link also has the Blue and Red Chain mail, which are just like the rings, and multiply his defence by eight again! And, the Goron Tunic from Twilight Princess makes it so that instead of losing health from taking hits, he loses rupees!
Wiz: But his equipment is really what matters. Like the Hero's Bow. This bow and arrow is one of his most iconic weapons, and thus Link always has it. With this, Link can snipe enemies. And his aim is great too. To add onto that, he also has a variation of arrows. The Fire Arrows surround the arrows in fire, which can melt solid ice almost instantly. The Ice Arrows are so powerful, they can freeze enemies and water right when they hit.
Boomstick: The light arrows are made just for murdering Ganon! If they're not strong enough to kill evil in one shot, these Light Arrows can make foes freeze in place or slow down! But my favourite are the Bomb Arrows! And you know why? Explosions, that's why! Link attaches a bomb to his arrow and fires it off, making all his targets go KABOOM! Now that was satisfying.
Wiz: Next on the list of Link's weapons in the Hookshot. This thing, while it is not very hurtful, can latch onto almost anything, even people. Hitting people with the Hookshot will not only bring them to you, it will also paralyze them. A variation of this, the Long Hookshot, helps Link get to father places. And, also to be out with the Hookshot, is the Boomerang. This object does pretty much the same thing as the Hookshot, it just doesn't bring Link to things. Another form of the Boomerang is the Gale Boomerang, which is a boomerang, that when thrown, is engulfed in a tornado.
Boomstick: Then we go to the Bombs! Link has his average Bombs, which can not only blast enemies sky high, but can also destroy boulders without the slightest of ease. Then there are the Bombchu, which are rat-like bombs that move around and even up walls! But somehow, these bombs fail to kill those stupid chickens!
Wiz: He also has three different types of boots. The Iron Boots allow for him to sink underwater, the boots with the Roc's Feather allow for him to run extremely fast, and the Hover Boots allow for him to walk two steps on air.
Boomstick: Agh, the Iron Boots... Too many bad memories of the Water Temple...
Wiz: And when it comes to using his hands, Link is no slouch. Even without a ton of things to up his power, Link can wrestle goats and even GORONS and win. And you may be thinking that the only reason Link beat the Gorons were because of his Iron Boots. But that's wrong. The Heavy Boots merely made sure Link stayed on the ground. The Goron still could knock Link over and slide him backwards, and Link still managed to push the Goron out of the arena.
Boomstick: But when he DOES need to up his power, Link has a ton! The Golden Gauntlets let him lift and throw large columns of granite, and the Handy Gloves let Link shatter boulders with HIS BARE HANDS. Speaking of breaking boulders, Link has the hammer, which lets him destroy hard rocks just the same as his Handy Gloves!
Wiz: And Link… sorta has a thing for masks. Hell, he can transform into three different species of animals with masks if he wanted to. Take for instance Deku Link. By wearing the Deku Mask, Link becomes a little Deku Scrub. As a Scrub, Link can spin with the same effectiveness as a sword swing. He can also fly using launching plants, and as projectiles, Deku Link will shoot bubbles out of his mouth.
Boomstick: The next mask here is the Goron Mask, which Link uses to turn into a Goron! As a Goron, Link can roll in a ball at incredible speeds! His back is also touch like leather! And his signature attack, the Goron Punch, has Goron Link punch so fast, he ignites the hydrogen in the air and pretty much punches fire...!
Wiz: And the third mask, the Zora Mask, turns Link into a Zora, probably the best of the three. With it, Link can breathe and swim underwater. He can also use his fins as boomerangs, and electrocute things underwater. PLUS, he an create a shield in front of him, and use his fins as blades.
Boomstick: The last mask he uses in combat is the Giant Mask! With this, Link grows tremendously. His power grows too. But after his magic is drained, Link goes back to normal!
Wiz: Link also can transform into a wolf, with the help of his friend Midna. This wolf can defeat Shadow Beasts, and jump incredible heights. But… he absolutely NEEDS Midna to turn into the wolf.
Boomstick: But, c'mon. Link is a genius.
Wiz: That's absolutely correct. Link can adapt to situations in a flash. He's figured out puzzle after puzzle with ease. He can also figure out he to defeat an enemy the moment he began battle with them.
Boomstick: But then there's his most powerful form that we've neglected to talk about! And that's the Fierce Deity form!
Wiz: The Fierce Deity is a complete monster. It wields a gigantic blade TWICE as powerful as Link's Master Sword, and you know how powerful that is. It also can shoot beams out of its sword. And the sword is so heavy that it has to hold it with both hands, yet he swings it around like nothing.
Boomstick: Link is awesome! He's the hero of Hyrule, the Twilight Realm, Lorule, Holodrum, Skyloft, and… Styrule. God, Triforce Heroes had the worst possible story...
Darkness. Lightning. Link was once again having another nightmare. He saw an odd turtle-like figure, laughing uncontrollably. Than he heard an ear piecing scream that was easily recognizable. It was Zelda, Queen of Hyrule. But the location of the nightmare wasn't Hyrule. It was the Mushroom Kingdom.
Link had heard about this kingdom, but he's never been there. Still, his map would lead him anywhere he wanted to go.
Link woke up in a cold sweat. It was dawn, and the sky was a beautiful rose-pink colour. But there was no time to waste staring at the sky above
So. Link got out of his bed in Hyrule Castle in a hurry. Link quickly knocked on Zelda's bedroom door, and sure enough, there was no response. The Hero of Time burst into the Queen's room, searching around for clues. The best thing he could find was a note to be sent to some other kingdom. It was written in ink, and halfway through a sentence, ink spread across the paper... as if Zelda was taken while she was writing.
Hyrule's saviour collected all of his stuff, than headed out on Epona, his trusty steed from Lon Lon Ranch.
Link ended up riding for hours, but finally he entered the Mushroom Kingdom Town.
As he passed through the town, he saw houses on fire. It was definitely worse than he thought it would be. Homes and parks were in ruins, and bruised Toads were screaming and running away from unfamiliar baddies.
Link jumped off of his red-brown horse, then ran, looking for his princess. Something then caught his eye.
Link saw the window at the top of the castle, and a plumber sporting red flew out of it. The plumber quickly grabbed onto the ledge, than jumped back in.
"Found where I need to go!" Link thought, quickly but carefully dashing up the stairs of the castle. Reaching the top, Link saw the turtle monster from his dream attack the red plumber. Prepared to get payback, Link jumped high into the air, than swung his sword downwards as a surprise attack. The turtle was hit, and stumbled backwards. He stumbled so far back, that he fell right out of the wall of the castle behind him. The turtle fell to his death, and Link knew he had succeeded. But tough luck, as the turtle landed in a hovercraft and flew away, laughing. Link frowned, then turned around to continue his quest. What he didn't expect was for the plumber to confront him, angry.
"It's-a me! Mario! Bowser is my bad guy! Back off, Link." Mario said with anger.
Link remembered this plumber now! It was Mario, his main other-series rival.
Just then, Mario got into his fighting stance.
"Just trying to find Zelda..." Link thought sheepishly, pulling out his Master Sword and Hylian Shield. "Pushy little plumber... Guess I gotta finish what I started, though..."
Link got into his fighting pose, and the two Nintendo mascots were ready to see who was tougher!
Instantly, Mario jumped up and threw a punch. Link blocked this with his shield, still skidding backwards a bit.
Link followed Mario's attack right up with a horizontal slash. Mario ducked, then jumped up and kicked Link right in the face. Link recoiled, but got right back onto his feet, and raised his sword high to the sky. Bright blue aura coming from the heavens surrounded the Master Sword, and Link slashed downwards vertically. A Skyward Strike beam shot at Mario, catching the plumber off guard, and sending him onto his back.
Link walked over to him and stabbed into the ground, meaning to kill Mario! But Mario rolled to the side, then took out his Ice Flower. Mario launched three Ice Balls, which Link sidestepped—
—FREEZE! The last one hit the Hero of Light, freezing him instantly. Looks like he only dodged two after all!
To finish this off, Mario ran up to him, than unleashed his strongest punch. This broke the ice, as well as launching Link out of the previously-made hole.
"Mario's number one!" Mario bragged ,doing a little jig, thinking he beat Zelda's protector. But a simple strong punch wouldn't knock down Link so easily.
"HUMPH!" Link flipped up from the side of the cliff, holding the Hook Shot in his hands! Using the grapple that saved him from falling, Link shot the long chain at Mario. This latched onto Mario, sending him closer.
Link then slashed Mario, and followed it up with a swift kick to the gut. Mario hit the ground, but bounced back onto his feet.
Link shot three arrows at Mario, each of which were dodged. Link whipped a bomb at Mario, which was caught, and thrown back. Link raised his shield, protecting him from the blast.
It looked like this fight would get nowhere, until Mario ran up to Link, and tried to pick him up. This was countered, though, as Link put on his Iron boots, weighing himself back down. However, with his strength, Mario ended up lifting him up anyways, throwing Link onto the ground. Mario rolled backwards as Link stood back up.
Link grabbed his Goron Mask, threw it on, than rolled at Mario with blazing speed. Mario dodged at the last second, than took out his Fire Flower. Goron Link ran at Mario. Turning into Fire Mario, he whipped six Fireballs at the incoming Goron Link. The Fireballs simply dissipated once they hit Goron Link, so the Goron Warrior continued his run!
Goron Link stopped, then punched Fire Mario hard with a Flame Goron Punch! Mario was launched backwards, and hit a wall. The plumber lost his power-up, and hit the ground.
But then... Mario stood up, and crushed a Smash Ball, shouting "Let's-a go!"
Mario launched a large fire ball at Goron Link. The flames got closer and closer! Would Limk survive?!
Tch. Silly Mario, Goron's are flame resistant! The flames passed, and Goron Link had one small burn mark on his cheek. Link took off the mask, than smirked.
Link suddenly howled, turning into a wolf. The "animal" theme starting, Mario took out and transformed into Tanooki Mario. Tanooki Mario jumped at Wolf Link, swinging his tail. Wolf Link jumped over the tail, than rushed at Tanooki Mario, fangs barred.
Wolf Link bit Tanooki Mario, and Tanooki Mario punched Wolf Link. The two turned back into their original forms, but not for long. Mario threw out a Giant Mushroom, than ate it. He grew to great heights, now easily being able to stomp on Link. But Link had something up his sleeve...
He took out and put on his Giant's mask, growing to the same height as giant Mario! The two hardly could fit on he stage anymore, so they jumped down to the Mushroom Kingdom Town.
Mario punched Link, and Link punched Mario. The two exchanged blows, until both Nintendo characters turned small again.
Link, ready to get some good hits in, equipped his Zora Mask at once. After a quick scream, Link was a am ember of the proud race of Zora! Link ran to Mario and swung his fins, catching Mario off guard and slashing up the plumber.
Mario used his pyrokinetics to try and burn Link, but the Zora quickly went onto one knee, and activated his Sheild. Just after that, Link threw his fin boomerang, slashing Mario in the cheek. Then he went back to his base form.
Link slashed at Mario, and Mario punched at Link. The punch was deflected with the Hylian shield, but the sword slash cut Mario's cheek. Mario seemed to be getting tired of this Hylian Sheild... And so, Mario took out the Golden Flower, and shot a Gold Ball!
Link deflected it, but it had a negative consequence. The Hylain Shield turned to gold, leaving it no longer indestructible, and easily breakable. Link, seeing this, whipped away the golden Hylian Shield.
As this happened, rain clouds formed, and a lightning storm began. Mario searched his pockets, as did Link. The two pulled out their greatest weapons in unison.
The Fierce Deity mask and the Rainbow Star were equipped. Rainbow Mario dashed at Deity Link, but Deity Link dodged Mario's best form. Deity Link launched beams at Rainbow Mario, that disappeared right when they got just close to Rainbow Mario.
Rainbow Mario ran towards Deity Link, but it was too late. The Rainbow Power-up ran out, and Mario didn't have much up his sleeve.
"Beat it, you little troublemaker." Link snorted. Then the God swung his mighty sword horizontally at Mario.
Mario ducked, but was swiftly kicked backwards onto the ground right after. Weak and battered, Mario had nothing left.
Deity Link jumped up, and stabbed back down, right in Mario's head. The Mushroom Kingdom hero screamed in agony, than died.
Link removed his mask, and the lightning storm ended.
After this unfortunate encounter, Link hopped onto his horse, and rode towards where he thought Zelda was taken.
Boomstick: WOW! That was awesome! I'm gonna watch it again!
Wiz: Mario and Link were almost equal, but Link was better than Mario in most categories.
Boomstick: Mario's strength was better, as he lifted a castle, but Link wasn't too far behind with all of the equipment that jacks up his power! And remember, power isn't everything!
Wiz: Link was faster than Mario, though you wouldn't think so at first. Mario may be speedy, but Link's great running ability from Skyward Sword, and his Pegasus Boots, gives him the speed advantage.
Boomstick: Link has far greater defence! Sure, Mario survived some pretty messed up things, but so has Link! And Mario has no defence, while Link has chain mail, and the indestructible Hylian Shield. And Link has both the Blue Ring and the Red Ring. The Blue Ring multiplies his defence by 2, with the Red Ring multiplying it by 4. This means that Link's already great defence is multiplied by 8. And don't forget, Link has his Red Chain Mail from A Link Between Worlds, making his defence go up EVEN HIGHER! WHOA!
Wiz: And although Mario IS more experienced, Link is smarter. For one, Link doesn't rush into challenges like our favourite plumber. He thinks things through. Secondly, Link actually goes through many puzzles, tons of adventures, and and a bunch of fighting sequences, unlike Mario's minor puzzles, mediocre adventures, and some fighting sequences. Finally, Link's puzzles are EXTREMELY difficult, and even caused gamer's to rage quit, unlike Mario fans swiftly jumping through the Super Mario games with a few deaths. And you might be thinking that Link is dumb because he can't talk. That is wrong, as in Twilight Princess, he is shown talking to Ilia in the distance. Even if he couldn't talk, it doesn't mean he's stupid, just that he's mute.
Boomstick: And our last point is that Link can counter almost everything Super Mario has! The Fire Flower was countered by the fire-immune Goron form, the Zora Tunic counters the F.L.U.D.D, and the Giant's mask counters the Mega Mushroom, for example. And although the Rainbow Star is good, the Fierce Deity could easily dodge it and survive through it, than overpower Mario when the plumber turns back into his normal form.
Wiz: That is true. Believe it or not, the Fierce Deity is legions above anything Mario actually had. But I can tell you need more to convince you of that. The Fierce Deity lives up to it's name, being a literal god of destruction and chaos. But this deity was too strong for even one of the three sacred goddess's alone to handle, so together they sealed it inside a mask. Link, putting on the mask, releases all the god's destruction, wielding a sword TWICE AS BIG AND POWERFUL as the Master Sword.
Boomstick: "Oh, but Wizard, what about the invincible White Tanooki Suit?"
Wiz: That's... a really stupid thing to bring up. The White Tanooki actually is NOT invincible. Fire and lava hurts it. And what does Link have? A wide variety of fire attacks. ALSO, the only way Mario could possibly obtain the White Tanooki is by dying five times. How does Death Battle work? Oh, yeah, you die once and it's over. Mario would never get to use this White Tanooki in this match at all.
Boomstick: Link just gave Mario a heart attack. Literally!
Wiz: Seriously, Boomstick...?
Boomstick: What, you don't like my jokes? Because once I kick your butt, it'll be know as The Legend of Boomstick! And unlike you, I've got all the princesses in MY other castle!
Wiz: The winner is, Link.
Mario vs Link is a What-If? Death Battle.
Wiz: When it comes to Nintendo, two fighters come to mind first.
Boomstick: KIRBY AND SAMUS!
Wiz: ...Yeah, no. Mario, the superstar hero from the Mushroom Kingdom.
Boomstick: And Link, the wielder of the hero of time and savior of Hyrule. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And we're here to analyse their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a DEATH BATTLE.
(Cue Peach's Castle (Melee))
Wiz: Mario, gaming's most popular icon.
Boomstick: AND worst princess manager!
Wiz: Mario was a star child, delivered to his parents on Yoshi's Island via a stork.
Boomstick: What's a star child you may ask? Well, it's someone destined for greatness! No wonder why Wiz didn't get that title.
Wiz: *Sigh* Mario's an all around happy guy who just wants to have laugh and have fun, but will be serious when he needs to be in order to save the day.
Boomstick: Yeah! Whether it's saving princesses, fighting gorillas with neckties, stomping on purple mushroom aliens trying to ravage the world, playing tennis with giant squids, racing around the sewers in go-karts, or anywhere in between, Mario's one plumber you don't want to mess with!
Wiz: And it's no surprise that he's gained a lot of abilities after all of his adventures. His most prominent ability is likely his jump attacks.
- Used to stomp on enemies' heads to deal damage. Mario can jump up to 80 feet in Super Mario Sunshine.
- Super Jump
- More powerful than Mario's regular jump.
- Ultra Jump
- More powerful than the Super Jump. One of Mario's strongest attacks.
- Spin Jump
- Can deal more damage than regular jumps, stomp on spiny enemies, slow his descent, and be performed on the ground or mid-air. Mario can also utilize his spin to levitate across short distances and damage enemies as part of his spin jump-based Mario Tornado attack.
- Ground Pound
- Mario does a mid-air spin and slams downward butt-first.
- Drill Stomp
- Mario spins extremely fast mid-air and slams downward with his arms out. Faster than the Ground Pound and can even resist the winds of cyclones.
Boomstick: He also uses a lot of fire attacks! Must be fun at barbecues.
- Solo Firebrand
- Mario sticks his hands out and charges a short-range blast of fire.
- Mario shoots a small bouncing fireball that disperses after a while if it doesn't hit anything.
- Giant Fire Ball
- Mario shoots a bunch of fireballs in to one, creating a giant fire orb that can create shockwaves when it lands.
- Fiery Shot
- Mario somersaults up with whatever he is holding, sets it on fire, spins around multiple times gaining more power as it goes on, before launching it straight at an opponent.
- Fire Swing
- Mario surrounds whatever he's holding with fire and slams it forwards with a powerful swing.
- Flame Orb
- Mario sticks his fist out and shoots a barrage of somewhat big fireballs from it that do decent damage.
- Super Flame
- Mario sticks his fist out and shoots a barrage of big fireballs from it that do a good amount of damage.
- Bursting Fireball
- Mario shoots one fireball on to the ground and it bursts in to a bunch of fireballs that all go hopping along in one direction.
- Ultra Flame
- Mario sticks his fist out and shoots a barrage of huge fireballs from it that do a lot of damage.
- Fiery Metal Mario
- Mario turns himself metal covered in flames and unleashes a powerful kick empowered by raging flames.
Wiz: For melee combat, Mario is skilled in many different martial arts techniques. He can do powerful multi-uppercut combos, dashing slide-kick attacks, spin attacks where he twists his body rapidly for multiple hits with his fists, hard-hitting jabs, breakdance kicks, and more.
Boomstick: This guy knows more ways to throw a punch than me! And trust me, I've thrown my fair share of punches. He also has many forms of equipment!
- Mario has many hammers. His weakest is his wooden hammer, and his strongest is his Ultra Hammer, a gold hammer made out of very tough rock. He can use his hammers to smash anything in his path, attack enemies in a multitude of ways such as hitting them from the sides or charging up a powerful hammer slam attack, and to reflect projectiles (Such as energy blasts, to fire balls, to rocks, and more) or incoming attackers.
- A sentient backpack water nozzle from Super Mario Sunshine. It can shoot Mario many feet in to the air with water, spray water at foes and objects to slow them down or distract them (Either in streams like from a hose or in big but short blasts), spray water from below to help Mario hover as if he's using a jetpack, shoot water from the back with tons of force to propel Mario and help him go faster than his natural speed, and scan enemies to offer advice in "boss battles" and find out their entire histories like he did with Mario. However, it has a limited supply of water.
- Power Stars
- Stars resembling Super Stars that Mario wields in games like Super Mario 64 and Mario Party 3 that increase his strength exponentially.
- Mario has many power-ups at his disposal. There are too many to list, but they each give Mario at least a slight boost in strength (Except for the Mini Mushroom) and grant extra powers. Examples include the Raccoon Suit, which gives Mario a tail for attacking and flying as well as the ability to turn in to a statue, the Super Star which grants increased speed as well as invulnerability, the Mega Mushroom which gives Mario a massive strength boost as well as invulnerability and turns him huge, and the Ice Flower which lets him create ice platforms to skate on when on water and shoot ice balls that can freeze, damage, and cause status effects when they hit someone.
- Mario carries around mushrooms that heal him and refill his stamina once he eats one. The Max Mushroom is his most efficient, which heals all damage and completely refills his stamina.
- Various Sports Equipment
- Baseball bats, tennis rackets, golf clubs, you name it.
- Battle Cards and Badges
- Mario wields battle cards and badges. Once Mario deals enough damage to a foe, he can activate a card or badge for different effects, like increasing any of his stats like speed or strength, damaging enemies regardless of their defense, or increasing time limits.
Wiz: Of course, Mario has more than just many abilities and equipment.
(Cue Mario Stadium)
Boomstick: Yep! To back up his arsenal, he's done tons of crazy feats over the years!
- Strength Feats:
- Effortlessly destroys large brick structures with his bare fists alone
- Threw a baseball at over 999 miles per hour
- Knocked Bowser out of sight very quickly with a casual hammer strike
- Casually lifted and punted a giant fortress, destroying it
- Nearly dwarfs base Paper Mario in power, who could beat people empowered by Royal Stickers which had the power of all the wishes across the entire planet
- Has fought against Bowser many times, who beat a clone of himself that had enough power to create a storm which would destroy the entire continent of the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser himself also warped an entire planet with his power AS A BABY
- Equal to Yoshi, who kicked Raphael the Raven so heard he turned in to a constellation
- Could fight beings empowered by Power Stars, which create realms with multiple stars in Super Mario 64
- Could defeat King Boo, who made a realm in Dark Moon with multiple stars
- Could defeat the Millenium Star, which made a realm in Mario Party 3 with multiple stars
- Speed Feats:
- Outran Koopa the Quick and Piantissimo, who were both dedicated and trained athletes who wanted nothing more than to beat Mario in a race
- Outran sound based attacks
- Outran cannon fire
- Can spin so fast that he actually levitates
- Dodged and jumped at speeds comparable to Lakithunder's lightning
- Reacted to lightning bolts in Super Mario RPG
- Reacted and attacked at crazy speeds when being shot out of the Bye Bye Cannon which shot him around the world!
- Reacted to and outran laser beams from technological sources (Ring Burner, Sentry Beam) in Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Super Mario 3D World, and Super Mario Odyssey
- Can outswim black holes in Mario Party and adventure at a close proximity to them in Super Mario Galaxy
- Could pilot a power star and fly it from space to the earth in only a few seconds, even causing stars to blur, in Dream Team
- Could react to Bowser's meteor attacks, which could tag Starship Mario, which could travel across vast portions of space in short timeframes
- Kept up with the Millenium Star in combat, who went from the center of the universe to Mario's in a short timeframe. In Super Mario Galaxy, it's revealed the center of the universe is wayyyyyyy far out in space.
Wiz: As for intelligence and experience, Mario has seen and fought hundreds of different kinds of enemies, used dozens of different kinds of equipment, solved pretty challenging puzzles in not just the RPGs but also in the main series in games such as Super Mario Bros. and New Super Mario Bros Wii with the maze-like castles, piloted different kinds of vehicles like submarines and planes, and he has adapted to crazy situations such as....fighting a blue alien monster that utilizes candy for a weapon.
Boomstick: That's Mario for ya.
Wiz: However, even with Mario's impressive arsenal and feats, he's not without his faults. He can be slightly brash at times, and his power ups can only take a little bit of damage or last for a limited amount of time before he goes back to normal. Still...
Boomstick: When your princess is in trouble you can call him on the double!
Mario: Thank you so much for playing my game!
(Cue Hyrule Field 1)
Boomstick: So many reincarnations....and they still manage to act entirely the same! Except for that one where Link wants to eat an Octor-
Wiz: No. That game never happened, in the canon, in real life, or otherwise.
Boomstick: ....Well alrighty then. Crappy games on a failed console aside, Link is a boy from the land of Hyrule who takes on many legendary titles! Just to name a few, there's Hero of Time, Hero of Winds, Hero of Twilight, and of course, Hero of Hyrule. Why so many titles you may ask? Because Ganon and his wannabes are everywhere!
Wiz: Indeed, Ganon is a common sight around Hyrule throughout the ages. But the evil doesn't stop with just Ganon, and it certainly isn't limited to Hyrule. Majora, Yuga, Demise, and more. Whether it be Hyrule, Hytopia, Lorule, Termina, or whatever you can name, if there was trouble there then Link saved them.
Boomstick: Most of those adventures were because they couldn't keep Zelda and the Triforce safe buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut it's tradition at this point.
Wiz: Of course, Link could never complete these adventures without his infamously large arsenal of techniques, abilities, and equipment. His most famous is his sword. He has had many swords throughout the years, but his most famous and most powerful is the Master Sword.
- Weapon Mastery
- Link is an expert swordsman. He can perform many different types of sword attacks.
- Spin Attack
- Link charges up his sword and releases a powerful spin attack with his sword. He can shoot out a magic blast that damages enemies if he does this.
- Sword Beam
- When he is at full health, Link's sword will shoot sword beams when he slashes with it.
- Sword Tennis
- Link can hit back attacks with his sword.
Boomstick: Don't forget his other most famous equipment!
- Hylian Shield
- A shield used by Hylian Knights which can be used for defending against attacks.
- Ocarina of Time
- An Ocarina with many magical spells, ranging from turning healing souls to changing the time of day.
Wiz: But he has much more than just that.
- Din's Fire
- A powerful magic spell that unleashes a blast of fire around Link.
- Farore's Wind
- A magical technique that allows Link to teleport to a desired location he has set.
- Nayru's Love
- Forms a magical barrier to protect Link temporarily.
- A boomerang for attacking and retrieving items.
- Bow & Arrows
- Link has a useful bow with powerful arrows. His arrows can be imbued with fire, electricity, and ice powers, as well as combined with bombs. He also has Light Arrows, which are imbued with the power of light.
- Link has many magical rods. For the self-explanatory ones, there is the Fire Rod, the Sand Rod, the Ice Rod, the Lightning Rod, and the Sand Rod. There's also the Dominion Rod, which lets Link control statues, and the Tornado Rod, which shoots Link up in the air with a blast of wind.