Max Payne vs. John McClane is a What-if? Death Battle. Created and edited by Alex Night who isn't seeing enough of 80s-90s action gung-ho
Description[]
A battle between two cops associated with the NYPD who can take plenty of punishment. Which one will live?
Interlude[]
(Death Battle theme - Invader from Invader Zim)
Wiz: In the world of lawlessness where criminal organizations strike fear and commit subterfuge among the public, the people rely on the police officers to protect their people and keep the peace.
Boomstick: But these two cops bring a whole new idea of keeping the peace by shooting and beating the shit out of the bad guys! Men after my own heart...
Wiz: Max Payne, titular character of the same franchise and former member of the New York Police Department.
Boomstick: And John McClane, the hard-boiled New York Police Department detective who just dies hard.
Wiz: In this episode, we would like to dedicate this to the officers around the country who are constantly on the streets of crime riddled cities, risking their lives to ensure that we all live just a bit safer each day to the point where they may not come back to their friends and loved ones.
Boomstick: And we'll devote that by making two badass cops kill each other... Kinda grim now that we think on it. Oh well! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win in a Death Battle...
Max Payne[]
Background[]
Wiz: Max Payne... Where exactly can we begin with this old, tired vigilante?
Boomstick: How about we start with how he was raised by an abusive, alcoholic father who beated and cheated on his wife, leading to her death and then later his? Seriously, I'm starting to see a pattern ever since Hawkeye...
Wiz: Max Payne was born in 1969 to Jack and Helen Payne as an only child. As mentioned before, Jack Payne was abusive to his wife and cheated on her. This led to Helen's death in 1976 who would be followed later by Jack in 1979, leaving Max an orphan.
Boomstick: Fortunately like all troubled kids who lost their parents to alcohol abuse, Max ended up as a detective in the New York Police Department. He also worked on several stints as a DEA Agent on rare occasions.
Wiz: Eventually, Max would find love in the form of Michelle, a worker with the New York's District Attorney. Saved by Max from a pair of thugs trying to steal her purse, they eventually married and had a daugther named Rose and Max was happy for the first time in his life, believing that he finally made it after the pain of losing his mother and father...
Boomstick: Buuuuuut, like many good cops in fictional history they would be brought back to reality like Max did when he came home one day to find that both his wife and infant daughter were murdered.
Wiz: Overcome by grief and massive amounts of anger, he vowed that he would bring vengeance upon whoever robbed him of his family. Thus began his slow quest of vengeance and mayhem...
Boomstick: His fierce investigation on his family's death led him plowing through many crime syndicates hiding in New York's crime underbelly like the Punchinello crime family... Wait, THAT'S an actual name for a Mob?! No wonder we didn't see them again after the first game with a name like that. How does that strike fear?
Wiz: Regardless, Max was led to believe that it was the Punchinello family who ordered the death of his family only to find out later that it was the CEO of Aesir known as Nicole Horne, a major pharmaceutical company who was secretly developing an illegal designer drug that made Meth look like Aspirin and it was called Valkyr.
Boomstick: Turns out that Nicole found out that Michelle got her hands on some documents detailing their involvement of the illegal drug and sent three Valkyr addicts to kill his family. Fighting through many mobsters and Aesir security, he'd finally cornered the bitch and dropped a satellite dish right on top of her.
Wiz: And thus came to a close on the investigation in his family's death and he should be at peace... Unfortunately, he could never get over the loss of his wife and child, leading him down a road of self-destruction through the use of painkillers and alcohol and eventually forcing himself into retirement from the Force and into the graces of being a body-guard for a wealthy family known as the Brancos.
Weapons[]
Boomstick: Max Payne is not a slouch in the fist fights division, capable of fighting in hand to hand combat and disarming foes while having none. He is an experienced gunman with all sorts of firearms, but he mainly sticks to his trusty Beretta and even two of them!
Wiz: He is also capable of wielding two Sawn Off Shotguns, a feat of which is very impressive considering the recoil. However, this ability to use two double barreled shotguns is still hampered by having to reload when one or both of them have used up their two shell slots, leaving Max vulnerable until he can reload them.
Boomstick: He can even duel wield SMGs like the Mac-10, a small SMG with a high rate of fire guaranteed to make something spill out something from their guts with enough fire. But that's not all that Max can do.
Wiz: After his family's deaths, he took up more on painkillers leading him to be an addict with alcohol thrown into the mix later on. However, this massive use of drugs allowed Max to take far more pain than any man normally should and even heightens his perception all the way to the point of being able to dodge bullets as if they were moving in slow motion. This was known as Bullet Time.
Boomstick: Now that's some John Woo shit right there!
"Einstein was right. Time is relative to the observer. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, time slows down. Your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. Stay with it, and you can live a lifetime in that split second."
Wiz: With this Bullet Time ability, Max enters into a state of heightened alertness, rendering the world around him as if they were moving in slow motion. This allows him to dodge bullets and line up his shots precisely before the enemy knows what hit them.
Boomstick: So, this cop just happens to be Morpheus from the Matrix? Damn, this guy is tough and badass.
Feats[]
Wiz: Max Payne's feats speak for themselves during his long journey of vengeance and redemption. He was integral in taking down Aesir, the Punchinello crime syndicate, and put an end to an organ harvesting operation over in the Caribbean.
Boomstick: We haven't even gotten to how much punishment this guy can take yet, which is probably the most impressive part about him.
Wiz: He can take massive amounts of bullets and physical trauma and still keep walking and even survived two occasions where he should've been dead.
Boomstick: One time in the first game, Max Payne was hit with an overdose of the Valkyr drug which can cause nausia and hallucinations leading into massive paranoia on a normal intended dose. The other time was when he was shot in the head! I'm not joking here. He got shot in the head, had a bad trip between life and death, and came back to life to kick the shit of the guy who put the bullet in there in the first place.
Wiz: This may be attributed by Max's iron clad will to do whatever it takes to achieve his vengeance, allowing him to survive against such odds. Although this lust for vengeance and justice for his pain may actually lead to his downfall.
Weaknesses[]
Boomstick: Well, for one thing. He usually gets into a bloodlust stage of killing just anybody who happens to piss him off. Also, while he has accomplished some ridiculous durability feats, he didn't accomplish them on his own through the use of his painkiller addiction and alcoholism.
Wiz: Also while Bullet Time gives him a great advantage, he must use it wisely as he uses up Adrenaline when entering his heightened state. Only able to replenish the adrenaline through taking a good deal of damage or managing to kill an enemy
Boomstick: It should also be noted that the reason why he is able to take plenty of damage is because of his access to the painkillers and the alcohol, which is still inhernetly bad for Max. But hey, he's still pretty freaking tough.
Wiz: When Max Payne has his sights on his target, there is nothing that anybody can do to stop him from achieving his goal of eliminating his target. One way or another...
"The way I see it.. there're two types of people: those who spend their lives trying to build a future. And those who spend their lives trying to rebuild the past." - Max Payne
John McClane[]
Background[]
Wiz: John McClane Sr. was born on May 23, 1955 to an Irish American family.
Boomstick: Damn, he's older than I thought.
Wiz: John McClane graduated from the Police Academy in 1977 and became a detective for the NYPD, working for many different departments from Vice, Narcotics, Robbery/Homicide, and even was a part of a Joint Terror Task Force in 2002. He would wed a woman named Holly Gennero and have a son named Jack (John Jr.) McClane and a daughter named Lucy McClane.
Boomstick: As you can tell, John had it made pretty well in his family until in 1988, Holly received a promotion from her company known as Nakatomi Plaza which forced her to move to California. It led to a strained relationship between John and Holly, forcing a wedge between them and their children.
Wiz: That would soon change on Christmas Eve of 1988 when John visited down from New York to attend his wife's company Christmas party. Not knowing what would happen next, he would find himself entangled in a terrorist plot orchestrated by Western German Volksfrei soldiers.
Boomstick: Their leader was Severus Snape aka Hans Gruber. Why he happened to be a terrorist instead of a wizard is beyond me, but whatever. Their mission was to disguise their operation as a terrorist plot in order to rob $640 million in negotiable bearer bank bonds, fake their deaths while making it look like the money was destroyed, and escape living like kings.
Wiz: However, they didn't account for a sole police officer from New York to escape and commit subterfuge right under their noses. When the bullets started flying, John took up his trusty sidearm and took matters into his own hands, being outgunned and outmanned by 13 to 1. Despite these odds, he was able to inform the LAPD onto the scene with obvious use of comms cut off, picking off the terrorists one by one, and saved his wife from Hans when he only had two bullets left in a hostage situation. He would then become famous throughout the country as the man who saved Nakatomi Plaza... Well, most of it.
Boomstick: After that, he and Holly got back together again and they lived happily ever after... For a while until they got divorced indefinitely. However, that incident wouldn't be the end of his troubles.
Wiz: He found himself centered in plots like springing a South American Drug Lord free, stealing gold from the Federal Reserve, Cyber terror plot to steal billions of dollars from America's economy and bring the country into a Stone Age with the "Fire Sale" plot for instance. All of his heroics would have the unintended side effect of alienating himself from his family although he would be able to regain the love and trust of his son and daughter due to him saving them from certain death.
Weapons[]
Boomstick: Weighing in at 185 lbs of American muscle, John is a known slugger with his fists. He may not know things like Pressure Points or any refined Martial Arts, but he has a natural instinct when it comes to hand to hand combat. Although he has wielded many different weapons over the years, he usually leaves his trust in his Beretta 92F(S) sidearm. A 9mm weapon of reliability for any close to mid range combat situation. Capable of firing an average of over 35,000 rounds before the slide stops working properly. It's custom tailored due to him being Left-handed and is recorded of taking down 19 bad guys alone with this gun.
Wiz: He's also been known to use the SIG-Saur P220, a .45 ACP sidearm created to be more accurate than the the 92FS. He also has been known to use the MP5A3 Sub-machine gun, a 9mm weapon used by many Spec Ops units like the fabled British SAS suited for CQC.
Boomstick: While it isn't really a weapon, he carries his lighter with him everywhere he goes even though he no longer smokes. While John may just be a cop, he's far from your average beat cop.
Feats[]
Wiz: He's taken on terrorists of many kinds from Western German Extremists to the elusive Cyber terrorists all while usually being all on his own at odds of at least 13 to 1. He's saved Nakatomi Plaza, stopped inevitable crashes of many planes at Dulles Airport when it was hijacked, is smart enough to understand and make connections to the true nature of what his enemies are planning like faking their deaths/destruction of Gold Bars, smashing through walls with his hands and even his head, and even killed a helicopter with a car because he was out of bullets...
Boomstick: Hell, he's done some crazy shit that should've killed him before like tumbling down a flight of stairs with a bad guy, ran across a room littered with glass shards, got shot in the shoulder and still fought like it was nothing, and he even fell off a building over 100 feet with a fire hose to smash through glass to escape a massive rooftop explosion and this is all before mentioning the movies after the first one. I mean, what in the actual hell?!
Wiz: To put in perspective, US Air Force standards state that the human body cannot endure more than 12 kilonewtons of force without a harness over 30 feet. Under similar circumstances, John would be falling with 14.6 kilonewtons of force falling from 30 feet and this is also taking into account that he didn't even have a harness. An ordinary man would have his spine snapped falling from 100 feet without a safety harness... Except for John McClane.
Boomstick: He even survived getting shot at many times within a 747 cockpit and escaped from a copious amount of M67 Grenades in 30 seconds! Either his bad guys got grenades with long fuses or he has insane luck. Given that he also survived not getting crushed by giant tires from a 747, survived an explosion that sent a subway train careening through the station, fell over 20 feet onto a steel container, and even managed to pull off some Captain America shit when he was trapped in a cramped elevator with six other bad guys and killed every single one of them without getting shot in a few seconds. This guy just doesn't seem to die, Jesus Christ.
Wiz: John is quite the amazing hero himself, but he isn't perfect.
Weaknesses[]
Boomstick: For one thing, he is quite the hot-head. He never admits when he is wrong even though he is proven wrong sometimes. Also while he has pulled off some amazing durability feats, he can be shot and hurt by bullets just like any ordinary man. It's also his heroics that drove a wedge within his family in the first place as he placed his duties as a cop before his family, but then he'd work to get them to love him again.
Wiz: Despite these weaknesses, John McClane is the personification of a hero cop and he is willing to put himself in harm's way with dealing with plots far bigger than himself. Not because he wants to, but because nobody else would. That's what makes him that guy.
Boomstick: You better watch out, you'd better not cry. You'd better not pout because I'm telling you why; John McClane is coming to town... With a whole arsenal of old-school kickass and one liners.
"Do you really think you have a chance with us, Mr. Cowboy? - Hans Gruber
"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" - John McClane, Die Hard
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Cop on Cop Death Battllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeee!
Death Battle![]
December 24th, 2014; New York City, New York
There was a radio being played outside of a soup kitchen to the famous Christmas jingle, "Let it snow". A "Black and White" Crown Victoria was parked on the side of the street across from the soup kitchen with an aged, Caucasian man wearing a NYPD shield bearing his badge number.
"No, Lucy. Don't worry, I'll be back home in New York on time for the Christmas Eve party. I know how much this means to you and Jack, but I just have to finish up on a beat in fifteen minutes." John McClane spoke over his cell phone to his daughter. She told him that she always had these bad feelings every Christmas Eve that he would get roped in some big terrorist plot and put back in harm's way.
"Lucy, I know. It won't be that way this time. We're going to have a normal Christmas Eve like a normal family. Even if Holly will be there. Okay? I love you, honey. Bye-bye." McClane spoke sincerely before hanging up the phone.
"Attention, this is dispatch calling to all officers within New York City. We have a 246 in progress at the Vodka Restaurant. Any units close by please respond?" McClane heard over the police scanner and picked up the mic.
"McClane here, I am three blocks east of Vodka. Over." McClane said a little begrudgingly, hoping that somebody else was closer and would pick up the first response.
"McClane, I'm reading your location and it looks like that you are the only one closest to the location. We need you to head over to Vodka and contain the situation."
"Really, dispatch? Just send one of the jugheads from the Academy to take care of the first response. There has to be one closer than me. Over" McClane said annoyed, realizing that he may have jynxed himself saying that he would have a normal Christmas Eve for once.
"That is a negative, McClane. You are the only one closest enough for first response and you have to do it now. Proceed to Vodka with extreme caution; over and out." The radio went silent as McClane just dropped his mic, swearing underneath his breath. "Get the family, come together, have a few laughs...:" McClane muttered to himself as he started his car and turned on the siren on his dashboard before speeding off for Vodka.
Meanwhile, at the Vodka Restaurant; home to remnants of the Punchinello family broke up by a man named Max Payne.
(Max Payne theme - Max Payne 3)
"No, Max! Come on, man! You already busted our balls by destroying our syndicate structure and now you want to kick us while we're down?! Let's just talk ab-" Harry Savino said with much fear before getting the rest of his plea cut off with a quick shot to the head, ending his miserable life. "There, we talked." Max said dryly as he reloaded his empty clip from his Berreta.
"They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger and then, it was over..." Max Payne thought to himself as he holstered his Beretta. He took a few painkillers from his bottle and downed them, chased by a generous gulp of whiskey. He felt the pain he received melt away, feeling like nothing was wrong. He turned back to the trail of dead Punchinello mobsters as he felt certain that the Punchinellos were truly finished and can never rise again. He entered the massive restaurant floor to head for the side exit, but was interrupted as a door was kicked open behind him and the sound of a hammer being pulled back.
"Drop it, dickhead. This is the police." John shouted clearly to Max, who slowly raised his hands above his head and turned around to his new guest. Both men recognized each other for who they were. "Officer McClane. I heard about your Nakatomi achievements. I'd shake your hand and call you a hero, but I'm afraid that I have more friends to visit." Payne said in a gravely voice to John, keeping his hands raised in case McClane may read that as an act of agression to an officer.
"Yeah, sorry Max. I'm afraid you'll have to come with me and explain to the boys at the precinct why a retired cop decided to shoot up a restaurant in public. I know your history with those scumbags and they deserved it, but right now it looks bad. I can vouch for you as best as I can, but you have to surrender and come with me. Back up is on its way in 20 minutes and you don't want to deal with them." McClane reasoned with Payne while keeping a close eye at what he does in case he wants to pull a fast one, noticing that he still hasn't put his Beretta down on the ground.
Payne frowned as he could see that he wasn't going to appeal to John's sense of camaraderie between fellow NYPD officers. "I'm warning you, John. As a fellow New York Shield, stand down. I don't want to force myself to kill you. I still have some unfinished business and would rather not put another dead cop on my list." Payne replied with a stern glare to McClane.
"Then, I guess we'll have to do this the hard way then, huh? You have five seconds to drop the gun or I will open fire, Payne." John said, his grip tightening a bit on the pistol grip. Max just stood there and sighed to himself.
"5..."
"Some things never changes... I guess I shouldn't be surprised given how the department doesn't like me as much as some cops would..."
"4..."
"Even though I have come so far on causing disruption in the criminal underbelly, I always have to put down another life that has nothing to do with my sins."
"3..."
Max stared down the barrel of the gun pointed at him, thinking back to something that Albert Einstein said. "Einstein was right. Time is relative to the observer. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, time slows down. Your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. Stay with it, and you can live a lifetime in that split second."
"2..."
"Sorry, John... But, you're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time." Max thought to himself as his world slowed down. In his heightened state of alertness, he drew his Beretta from his holster and aimed with a single hand for a headshot on John, firing as he pulled the trigger.
"Oh shit!" John exclaimed as he narrowly dodged the headshot and ducked behind cover of a table, flipping it over. "Alright, John Woo. Let's play, mother fucker." John yelled out from his cover, already trying to push back the disappointment that he was going to be late for Lucy's Christmas Eve party.
Fight!
Max fired off five suppressive shots at John’s position as
McClane tried to reach his radio.
“Officer McClane here, I’m pinned down at Vodka and under fire. The suspect’s name is Max Payne, a former
NYPD Shield. I need back-up and I need
it right now.” John shouted over the
gunshots and into the radio, firing back three blind shots from his SIG
Saur. “Copy that, McClane. Back up is on its way. ETA fifteen minutes.” A voice said over the radio, giving John
plenty of discomfort. “The fuck do you
think we’re doing here? Singing
Christmas Carols?! We don’t have fifteen
minutes!” John shouted back irritably before
holstering the radio to his belt and peeked out from the side of the table to
take aim at Max, who was ready with two shots fired back at him to force John
back into cover. John fired three blind
shots in Max’s general direction before popping out overhead to see if Max
ducked into the cover of his trolley.
Sure enough, he did and John used this opportunity to move up on Max’s
position, firing suppressive shots at his cover to ensure he stays there until
he reached his new cover. He got there
just in time for him to run out of ammo in his current clip and reloaded,
giving Max his turn to peek out from cover and fired on his new position.
Max could see that John was trying to get closer on his position. It wasn’t good; he couldn’t stay here to fight John. Not when NYPD back up was on the way. He’d have to fight his way out. He then took this opportunity to sprint out of cover for the back door out of Vodka, firing inaccurate shots on John’s position. John risked to come out of hiding to try and fire back on Max, but the inaccurate shots placed on him was putting too much pressure for John to get an effective kill shot on Max. Max did get clipped in the right shoulder, just inches away from the femoral artery as he pushed through the back exit of the restaurant. He looked to his left down the alleyway and saw the street and plaza filled with people. He didn’t want to risk putting other people in danger, but he knew John wouldn’t risk firing in a crowd as to not cause panic and make it even harder for him to keep up. He jammed the door handle behind him with a piece of rebar and sprinted towards the Rockefeller Plaza.
(Copter Chase – Live Free or Die Hard)
John was at the door, but he couldn’t push through. He tried pushing the door down with his shoulder and got flustered at the idea of Max getting away. He aimed his SIG at the hinges of the exit door and blew them off with three well-placed shots. He then kicked the door off and it just fell away like it was cardboard. Before exiting the restaurant, he took up a MP5A3 and four clips from a nearby deceased Punchinello thug. He then entered the alleyway, swearing under his breath trying to reaquire Max. He spotted him running towards the Rockefeller Plaza. He knew what he was trying to do; he wanted to choose running through a public place so that he wouldn’t get shot at with so many people still around enjoying the Christmas decorations. He sprinted after Max as he saw him dashing onto the other side of the street.
Max chanced a look and saw that John was still giving chase. “He’s good. Definitely up to the reputation of being tenacious as the stories make him out to be. Let’s see if he’s willing to put other people at risk to catch me…” Max thought to himself as he vaulted through a decoration stand, much to the dismay of an Italian salesman yelling plenty of verbal profanities that Max didn’t need to understand Italian to know what he was being called. He chanced another look to John, seeing that he was reaching to his radio. No doubt trying to give new information on where they were going next. He can’t keep running forever with the cops being informed of his whereabouts. He can take out the radio to ensure that the cops would be in the dark without having to rely on the sounds of chaos in order to find them. Max popped a couple of Painkillers into his mouth to soothe the pain in his right shoulder in order to line up his shot. Max turned right around as the world slowed down to a crawl, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, and lined up his shot at John.
John saw this move and tried ducking for cover at a nearby bench, but he wasn’t quick enough to keep his whole body protected as he got shot in his right hand. Or rather, the radio that was in his right hand, but it was now sparking as a hole was blown through the bottom of the Walkie-Talkie. “Shit!” John shouted out loud as the resulting gunshot created even bigger problems as people who heard the gunshot within the plaza now screamed and ran for their lives away from the noise. Many people now stood in his way as Max resumed his escape. John tossed the radio to the ground, knowing it would be useless to try using it; he’d have to hope that the backup can follow the sounds of the gunshots in order to find them. “NYPD, out of the way! Move now!” John shouted continuously as he tried forcing his way through the stampeding crowd, waving his shield in his right hand in order to try and coax people out of his way so that he wouldn’t lose Max Payne.
Max knew now that he would have an easier time of losing the NYPD should this fight escalate any further, but he had to take care of McClane. He had to either lose him or kill him because he knew McClane’s tenacity was legendary from all of the stories of his exploits. He saw a construction site that was empty save for the lone two security guards. From the looks of the site, it was mostly finished which meant that he could duck in and play with the advantage of hiding. However, he didn’t want to kill the security guards just because they happened to be there on the night that he had to be on the run. The guards were inside of the security booth who just now looked up from their Christmas TV Special of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. They heard gunshots and decided to stay in place while the other guard muttered to him to do a security sweep. Max took this opportunity to swiftly knock out the guard with the stock of his Beretta and followed suit with knocking out the guard sitting down in the chair with a swift hook into his left temple and headbutted him, knocking out the second guard before the guard could give off a phone call for the police. Max then sprinted for what looks like the front door of the building, passing a sign that said, “Terrasave HQ Campus”. “Okay, now it’s time that I end this. You brought this on yourself, John.” Max thought to himself as he pulled out his Mac-10 Machine Pistols.
([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCXYccVVpFY Go for it/swimming in the aqueduct – Die Hard with a Vengeance])
McClane saw Payne duck inside of the construction site, noticing the knocked out construction security guards on the ground and inside of the office. He had to bet that Payne was hiding inside of the construction site to try and lose him. McClane gently nudged open the front door, drawing out his MP5 as he creeped on inside of the site.
(Break In – Live Free or Die Hard)
The inside of the site looked like a maze and McClane didn’t like being led around all of these corners where Payne may be hidning in wait, but he also didn’t know if he was trying to escape a different way inside of the mostly finished building, so for obvious reasons he couldn’t just wait and find a way to call for back-up. “Payne! Just come out quietly and this won’t get any worse…” McClane yelled out to try and see if he can hear anything from Payne. He got his answer with Payne coming out from a corner to fire his MAC-10 Machine Pistols. “Fuck!” John yelled out as he got grazed on the arm by a round, trying to duck around a stack of Sheetrock slabs. John fired back with his MP5 to the side of his cover.
Max Payne then moved from out of his cover to a large scissor lift as he pulled out his dual Sawn-Offs and rushed forward onto John’s position, the world slowing down as he fired one shell to pin down John followed by another shell from the other shotgun. Pieces of the rock was sent flying around as Max was closing in to the top of the sheetrock only to find that John was gone from that position. Confused, Max looked around with his dual Sawn-Offs spread out in a V formation. He then saw a trail of blood leading off into the mess hall and decided to follow it. He saw it led to an electrical room where the trail seems to end and decided to reload his dual Sawn-Offs in case he needed to. Max cautiously stepped into the electrical room, performing a sweep from clockwise to try and find John McClane. He noticed that as he went further inside, there was water seeping further out to the entrance of the room. Sensing there was an immediate danger as seen when his state of heightened awareness allowed him to see a shot caused an electrical line to come apart and try to electrocute Max only to be saved mere seconds by shooting out a glass pane to his left and busting through the weakened glass with the force of his body to the outside of the electrical room. Max’s body ached a bit from the impact, but he had to get up. He turned to his left only to get kicked in the head by John. He blocked the second kick with his hands and pushed the leg to the left to throw McClane off balance. Max pressed the advantage by grabbing John’s gun arm, clicking the ejection button for his gun clip, pulled the slide back to eject the round chambered into the gun, and kicked the ejected clip away far from the both of them to the destroyed pile of Sheetrock.
John was now unable to use any of his weapons at the current time, so he decided to headbutt Max to throw him off him. He succeeded and literally pushed his advantage to crash him through some metal barrels. He lifted Max up to his feet and started hooking him into the ribs with his left rapidly, hoping to demoralize him with some broken bones. He then started hooking Max in the head with a left and right combo only to be on the left hook by an arm which twisted John’s left to keep him from continuing and expose John’s guard to Max. Max then punched John in the face with his left to push him off and stagger John. Max took a swig of his bottle of whiskey to dull out the pain before tossing it aside, breaking the glass. John looked groggily at Max’s actions and grinned. “You know, that stuff’s bad for you.” John quipped to Max. He got kicked in the face by Max who answered back, “I hear that enough from my psychiatrist and my partner, Raul…” Max said in a gravelly tone. He kicked John in the face again into a pile of wooden boxes with the label, “Shipping to Kijuju” on them. Max then jumped onto John who was able to reverse his position to be on top of Max when he landed on top of him. John punched Max in the face before taking him by his head with his hands. He started slamming his head into the concrete floor, swearing explicit words at Max.
Max was getting hurt pretty badly, but he couldn’t lose yet. He sent a sharp elbow hit to John’s stomach to push John off him. He tasted the steely taste of his blood in his mouth as he tried reaching for his Beretta hooked to his right hip. He was able to take it out of his holster and aimed down the sight for John’s position only to find that John was heading for a staircase near them. He went into his Bullet Time to try lining up a shot for the only thing that he could shoot, John’s left shoulder. His aim proved true and it made its mark for John’s left shoulder, rewarding Max with a shout of pain from John. He hoped that his shot would cause unsustainable blood loss due to it being on the side near his heart. However, he wasn’t one to leave a kill unanswered and got up to his feet. He reloaded his Beretta and proceeded cautiously to the staircase, following the trail of blood as he went. He knew that John was unarmed and would likely not try to take him head on. He could see the blood trail leading upwards near the top on the 10th floor. He cautiously pushed open the door leading out to an air control room. He dived into his jacket pocket for some painkillers as he was starting to feel the aches and wounds from his body, but looked to find that he was all out of his pills. He’d have to finish the fight without them, especially now that he had no way of stopping any additional pain from catching up to him. He tossed the empty bottle away and proceeded forward.
John was lying in wait on top of a ductwork, hidden from Max’s line of sight as he heard a clattering of a plastic bottle before hearing the door from the staircase open. He had only one chance to save himself and he couldn’t afford from being too slow. He could see Max’s shadow from his spot getting bigger as he lied in wait. When he saw the barrel of Max’s Beretta, he launched his foot in a lever motion to kick away the gun from Max’s hand, leaving him unarmed. Seeing Max’s surprised look, he enhanced his advantage by jumping on top of Payne to force him down on a dolly holding cardboard boxes of oranges. They pushed along with the dolly into a wall where John proceeded to hammer Max’s head with some right elbows. “Motherfucker, I’ll kill you!” John said sharply before getting headbutted off him by Max whose nose was covered in blood from all the punishment. They fought with trading blows to each others’ arms with Max pressing the advantage on John as he kicked him straight in the chest, leaving John on his back against another staircase that led to the rooftop of the campus building.
Max knew that he had to finish this quickly as he didn’t know how much longer that he could keep up with fighting this piece of steel that was John McClane. Max aimed for a punch on John’s neck, hoping to disable him long enough for John to snap his neck properly. Unfortunately for him, John was just fast enough to block the hit and counter with a headbutt. He felt John’s arm wrap around his neck to try and knock him out through an improvised chokehold on the staircase.
“Motherfucker!” John yelled out to Max as he felt himself being dragged upward the staircase by Max. “I’m gonna kill you… I’m gonna fucking cook ya… I’m gonna fucking eat you!” John said to Max as he hits Max in the right temple with his left fist. Max responded with a punch to John’s ribs which caused John to loosen his hold on Max’s neck just enough for Payne to grab John’s head with both hands. He felt Max’s left grabbing him by the back of his head and his right pressing on his chin, trying to twist it towards his direction. He could feel the pressure on his neck as he knew that he had to do something or he was going to end up feeling a bit spineless. He noticed a chain hanging off the ceiling near them and he grabbed it with his left and wrapped the chain around Payne’s neck, causing him to wriggle a bit away from Max’s hold with his left arm. He then proceeded to wrap the open end through the chain that was wrapped around Max’s neck, fastening it tightly on his neck. John then punched Max in the nose, feeling cartilage break under his fist and pushed Max over the staircase railing to have Max hanging from his neck. He then slid down the stairs, pulling Max with him until John crashed into the floor face down. He looked to see Max struggling with his arms to try and pull the chain off him until he crashed into the wall and John heard a loud *Snap*, confirming to John that he had broken Payne’s neck. He looked away as he heard the nasty crunch of bone snapping and looked back to see Max’s lifeless body dangling from the metallic noose around his neck.
(Aftermath – Live Free or Die Hard)
John got up to his feet slowly as he took the chain to lower Max to the ground. “Yippee Ki-Yay, motherfucker…” John said aloud as he dug into Max’s pockets to try and find a phone to call the police. He found Max’s wallet which contained a picture of him with his wife and child, sending a wave of sadness to John. “You left me no choice, Max… At least you’ll see them again…” John said as he placed his wallet back in Max’s pocket and took the phone as he walked away from Max.
KO!
John heads to the stairs leading down as Max's corpse is left leaving a bigger pool of blood underneath him.
Results[]
Boomstick: Holy shit, that was gritty. They don't show you shit like that in movies anymore.
Wiz: While Max is the more skilled in terms of weapons and holds an edge in CQC due to his specialized training, John just outclasses him everywhere else in terms of raw strength, durability, and experience.
Boomstick: Let's face it, John has been in worse situations than Max as he fought against terrorists constantly who are more skilled than just your average gangster. Sure, Max has fought against an army of hired military guns, but he also had help from Raul to take them down while John pretty much ended all of them mostly on his own.
Wiz: Another thing to consider is Max's dependence on his meds and Bullet Time to take down such impossible odds, both of which can't be used without cost. Once he was out of meds, he'd have to deal with his wounds over time as they start to catch up to him while John has had to do that without such luxuries.
Boomstick: Max's Bullet Time would've been his ace in the hole if it didn't also cut down his Adrenaline as well which is another thing that led to Max's downfall. Adrenaline is needed to get that extra boost of speed and strength for Fight or Flight situations. Once he runs low on that, he'd no longer would be able to call upon an extra amount of strength during extreme situations where he would possibly die.
Wiz: Another thing to note is that Max is not naturally a bullet timer without his Bullet Time. Remember that time when Max got shot in the head? That was from a handgun that he could clearly see in front of him during a standoff and yet he still got shot, despite being able to enhance his reflexes with Bullet Time. Leading us to believe that Max can only call upon Bullet Time during certain situations.
Boomstick: "But Boomstick! Max survived a bullet to the head and came right back! Wouldn't Max have the better durability than John?"
Wiz: Actually, no. You see, there is a chance that any man can survive a bullet wound to the head depending on some factors like the bullet velocity, area of the brain that is hit, and whether or not the bullet exited out of the wound. The headshot that Max took was lodged through his left membrane, which actually gives Max a pretty good chance of living when treated by a doctor. Granted it is impressive that he was able to get back up without treatment from a doctor, it is still possible for an ordinary man to live a gunshot wound to the head. Not to mention that he was lucky enough to be saved by Mona Sax who likely did something to bring Max back to consciousness. What isn't possible for any man is to live from falling 100 ft off a building with nothing but a non-elastic fire hose without at least rendering him paralyzed from the waist down...
Boomstick: Which is exactly what John McClane did and got right back up, kicking ass minutes later. Looks like Max just snapped under the pressure...
Wiz: The winner is John McClane.
Next time on Death Battle...[]
An axe slams into the ground after a hard fought battle of a hundred zombies. A brightly colored chainsaw revs loudly in the air. A burly roadie stares down the innocent cheerleader...
Eddie Riggs: Let's rock!!!
Trivia[]
- Max Payne was inspired off of John McClane except made more in a grim tone with dry humor.
- Both are cops from the NYPD.