|Ness vs. Razputin Aquato|
|Season 1, Episode 4|
|Starfy vs Ristar||Jin Kisaragi vs. Mitsuru Kirijo|
Mother vs Psychonauts! these two psychic kids take their greatest powers against each other in a DEATH BATTLE!
Robert: If there's two things in the world that piss me off the most it's children and those hack fortune tellers who rob you of hard earned cash...so what happens when you combine those two into one?
Rei: I would reply but your rude comment about children would disagree. And how are they frauds?
Robert: They aren't, they're just prodigies-
Rei: Like yours truly!
Robert: and Ness, the PK prodigy of Onett.
Rei: or Razputin Aquato, PSI powered wanderer of minds.
Robert: She's Rei and I'm Robert!
Rei: And it's our job to analyze their abilities, stats and feats to find out who would win in a Death Battle.
Robert: Ness' story actually begins in the past, in the small town of Podunk. An ominous black cloud appeared over Mt. Itoi. With this also came people disappearing and reappearing with no recollection of what happened.
Rei: The editor-in-chief of the Mothersday Times, George set out to investigate the incidents the day he published his findings. He and his wife Maria had vanished. But more accurately-
Robert: Aliens... not kaiju, not ghosts, NO! Fucking Aliens.
Rei: The alien race that had abducted the couple entrusted them with an infant alien named... how do you say this?
Robert: ... Screw it lets just call it Alien Giygas. Well Alien Giygas was entrusted by the two humans, because humans make great extraterrestrial babysitters. While Maria did what a normal parent would do with a child, George studied the aliens' PK powers, also known as PSI powers.
Rei: George eventually left to return to Podunk, leaving his family behind. What a great father he was! But that was also a grave mistake as now George had stolen the secrets of PSI powers. It was the tasked by a now matured Alien Giygas to eliminate George so that humans may never know the secrets of PSI.
Robert: However, Giygas doesn't want to betray those who raised him, particularly his beloved Maria, and in the end forces himself to detach from Maria, and begin preparations for the aliens' invasion. Alien Giygas happens upon the apple of enlightenment which foretells that Alien Giygas would be defeated at the hands of a child named Ness.
Rei: To disprove this prophecy he attacks the Earth 20 years earlier than was prophesied. And was defeated by other children, more specifically: the great grandson of Maria and George and Alien Giygas' technical grand nephew: Ninten. Now about 15 years later, a meteor crashes in the small town of Onett, with many confused and two neighbor to investigate, Ness and his "best friend", Porky. After looking at the meteor a bug sized warrior named Buzz Buzz warned Ness of the return of a monster named Giygas.
Robert: And soon after Buzz Buzz got killed by Porky's mother. Ness the had to go through all of Eagleand, FoggyLand, and Chommo to retrieve the Eight Melodies and recruit three other kids to stop Giygas and his tremendous power to save not only the world but the entire Universe.
Rei: And when you need to save the world, you're going to need some serious power to back you up, an Ness holds that power in spades, like with the Gutsy Bat which increases his physical offensive power, his likeliness of getting a critical hit, and can even reflect projectiles and the combat yo-yo is a yo-yo that also increases his attack, but also would be an embarrassing way to go out, I mean by all ways of dying, you die by getting whacked by a children's toy. And the Franklin Badge reflects any projectile, and is perfect for killing aliens and masked men
Robert: But Ness' true abilities come from his PK prowess, like PK Flash α, β, γ, and Ω which all make the opponent cry uncontrollably, and the Ω variety of generates glorious rays that have a high probability of destroying all the enemies on the scene in a single strike. Rockin A is a psychokinetic wave generated by concentration. But Ness also uses some of his PK abilities for defensive purposes like Lifeup, Healing, Paralysis, and Shield.
Rei: And ever since he joined Smash Bros. he learned some of Paula's and Poo's PSI techniques, so now he can use PSI Magnet which can absorb projectiles, Thunder, Fire, Freeze, and Starstorm which shakes stars and brings them onto foes.
Robert: He took down an entire police force and blue-obsessed cult, hurt a dog completely made of diamonds, defeated a Kraken the size of a volcano, took down a horde of zombies, became the second person to create Magicant and beats the crap out of animals and people on a daily basis.
Rei: Aside from his abuse against life, Ness' most impressive feat was when he combined his conscious with the universe, increasing his psychic ability. This and and the power of the Eight Melodies allowed him and his friends to finally finish off Giygas once and for all... But this won't be given to him as this gives Ness an almost automatic win against most foes.
Robert: But even with all of his ridiculous abilities, Ness still bears some minor weaknesses, like his limited PSI, as he has a limited supply that can only be brought back via outside means, and Ness is still a child, who at time face homesickness which will lower his physical abilities and sometimes will refuse to attack, which mostly stems from his pacifism.
Rei: But aside from his questionable morals Ness has smashed all doubts to become the hero the world needed.
Robert: ...That sounds stupid.
Ness: “Listen. Free your mind and KNOW what you must do!”
Occupation: Acrobat, Psychonaut
Rei: In the circus most play their part to amaze the human mind, like balancing, taming magic, and acrobatics. This was the Life of Razputin Aquato.
Robert: Raz was born to and lived with a family in the circus alongside his parents, brothers and sisters. However Young Raz got rebellious after he realized that he had psychic powers but his father pushed him into constantly practicing difficult acrobatics in an attempt to distract his son from his powers, leading Raz to believe that his father hates him for having psychic abilities even though he suspects his father is a psychic as well.
Rei: Though none of that matters as at the age of 11 he basically gave the middle finger to his family and ran off to Whispering Rock Summer Camp after getting a pamphlet from a shady figure, a secret government camp designed to train psychic agents known as Psychonauts, with the goal of mastering his powers and becoming a psychonaut himself.
Robert: All members at the time were against it until Raz proved his power, although he has a limited time at this possible elite military training facility because the counselors contacted his father who would be coming soon, but Raz sought this Camp to heighten his psychic abilities.
Rei: And he would've been picked up, except for the fact that a deranged scientist was taking out the camper's brains to put in weapons like battle tanks.
Robert: Raz soon teams up with Ford Cruller, a former psychonaut to defeat the deranged scientist, sort emotional baggage, kick some Ass-tral projections, and become a Psychonaut before his father come to take him home.
Rei: Being a Psychonaut and a great one at that has many PSI abilities up his sleeve, like his PSI Hands, which are used for Raz's close-quarters-combat and has no relations to any other psychic hero.
Robert: Raz, like Ness can has pyrokinesis, but unlike Ness, he only need to think about it, instead of having to manually create it, and his telekinesis can do the self-explanatory, although Raz is vulnerable to attacks.
Robert: And Invisibility, Leviataion via thought bubbles, and PSI shields, you, know, things that take no effort to explain. Clairvoyance gives Raz the ability to see what his opponents are seeing and lastly Raz can throw confusion grenades, which can ... confuse enemies... are we done here?
Rei: Nope, there's still his acrobatics which allows him to-
Robert: He can maneuver on small poles and platforms and can do some neat tricks... are we done?
Rei: Um, aside from Robert's rude interruption, Raz has accomplished a lot despite his age, like becoming a great acrobat, lifting a 70 lbs. barbell with his feet, defeating a pyrokinetic cougar, befriending the lake monster Linda, Cured several people of their insanity in just a day, earned all of his powers in the same amount of time and becoming an accomplished Psychonaut. But of course like all the good characters, he has to have weaknesses.
Robert: For example, he is almost completely useless without his psychic abilities, which he can lose when he uses too much at a time, and a family curse that makes it impossible for Raz to swim and has almost always nearly lead him to his demise.
Rei: But don't underestimate the legendary psychonaut who will
Robert: Skipping to the quote.
Rei: No! Wait!
Razputin: "You were born with a special gift. But the people around you treat it like a curse. Your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes.
Robert: We're not doing this entire thing.
Rei: Yes, we are.
Come to Whispering Rock Summer Camp, and you can show them all! Back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak. But in this dojo, in this Psychic dojo they make you a hero."
In the bustling city of Onett many people were enjoying just living in the area, especially because of of the more 'violent' people had been cured of their loony way of life. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for one. A rather short 'man' in a black suit and a black fedora and a pair of black sunglasses. He was the only person nowhere near any person along the sidewalk or the nearby stores. All he was doing was examining the surrounding location for any anomalies. He was seemingly disappointed of his lack of any notable observations, that is, until several sparks started to form in the middle of the road and out opened a portal. The portal let out a boy running out with blazing feet and a charred face. This was Ness and he gave off a sigh of relief coming back from wherever he was. The 'man' in the suit was the only person in the entire city who was disturbed by Ness' presence. He then pulled off his suit to reveal a yellow skinned boy wearing a scarf, a pair of gloves, and a leather hat with goggles on them. It was Raz, and he quickly ran to Ness who was cleaning out the soot from his shoes. Raz took Ness by the hand, believing he was an ex-Psychonaut planning to take over the world. Ness was confused at first, but proceeded to walk off in the direction of is home until he was slowly lifted into the air by Raz. Ness repelled the effect with PSI Magnet and wasn't pleased to have the psychonaut get in his way of family. He went into his backpack and pulled out... a yo-yo. With his hat facing the opposite direction and his spirit ready, he was planning to make this bout with Raz a quick battle.
[LAZINESS AND WRITERS BLOCK. WRITERS BLOCK SHOULDN'T EXIST FOR OVER A YEAR]
|Ness vs. Razputin|
|Season 1, Episode 1|
|Air date||September 16th, 2016|
|N/A||Ladybug vs. Spiderman|
"EarthBound versus Psychonauts! Two psychokinetic teenagers enter, one leaves. Who has the better of the two minds and more importantly, who has the abilities to win a Death Battle?"
Eddie: Psychokinesis. The very definition is "the supposed ability to move objects by mental effort alone" and you'd think it's an ability no human should have. But throughout the years, new psychokinetics have risen and fallen, but two have been prominent in recent years.
Magnum: One of them is Ness, a youngster from the fictional town of Onett, Eagleland.
Eddie: And the other is Razputin Aquato, a member of the elite psychic group known as the Psychonauts. I'm Eddie.
Magnum: And I'm Magnum. It's our jobs - well, mostly Eddie's - to analyze both of these combatants' weapons, powers, armor, skills, and other abilities to find out who would emerge victorious in a little something we call...
BOTH: Death Battle!
Eddie: What was that last bit?
Eddie: In the stereotypical post apocalyptic future, the evil Giygas ruled the world. He controlled the minds of innocent humans, animals, and even living piles of puke in order to gain prominence and power. That was until it was discovered that the Apple of Enlightenment foretold Giygas's demise at the hands of the Chosen Four.
Magnum: Turns out the Chosen Four were really just a buncha kids with special abilities. Where was this prophecy when I was in school? I'd be the leader of that crap ASAP!
Eddie: Anyways, a warrior known as Buzz Buzz shot him backwards in time to the year 199X in search of the Chosen Four. What ended happening was a meteorite crash that unfortunately turned Buzz Buzz into a bee but thankfully it landed above the house of Ness, one of the Chosen Four.
Magnum: Wait...Doc Brown wasn't f'ing insane! Time travel DOES do stuff to your head! Besides that, the meteorite crash gave Ness psychokinetic powers known as PK...or PSI if you played just EarthBound.
(Music: EarthBound/MOTHER 2 - Attract Mode)
Eddie: He's got a variety of them at his disposal, including PK Flash, which can cause a random effect and be moved about to deal more damage. Ness also has access to the elemental abilities PK Fire and PK Freeze which do what they say on the box, but PK Fire can send a pillar of fire up from where it hits.
Magnum: Not to mention his signature PK Rockin, an attack so powerful it can cause shockwaves and huge amounts of damage! And also headaches if you stare at it for too long. Sweet Jesus, I should lie down. Can you finish the analysis, Eddie?
[SFX: Door closing, impact on a bed]
Eddie: He'll be alright. Ness also has PK Starstorm, which can rain down stars hard enough to bounce combatant Donkey Kong around, and PK Thunder, a ball of thunder that can be controlled and then hit into him to propel him forward.
- Age: 13
- Height: Around 24 BMI
Eddie: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Magnum: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
A few baseballs are seen flying through the air as Ness successfully hits them all back, hitting down targets. He then wipes sweat from his brow and then sits down on a bench, reaching for a burger [wrapped in packaging reading "SERVICE WITH A SMILE, SMILE!"] and a can of juice before the lunchbox is knocked from his hands, shocking him. Ness recovers the lunchbox but pulls out a baseball bat in his other hand and is prepared to fight. A shadow is then seen as the lunchbox is carefully placed on the ground and Ness readies his bat as Raz rushes towards him, only to be hit in the face by the melee weapon. "Hey! Watch where you point that thing, you runt!" Raz shouted as he pulled down his goggles and entered a fighting stance.
Raz grabs Ness with PSI Hands and then throws him about the arena, yawning while he does so and not realizing Ness used PK Magnet to suck away some of his energy. This allows Ness to escape with Raz giving chase soon after and the two hit each other with constant shots of psychokinetic energy.
Ness awoke and realized he had landed on something soft.