|Season 1, Episode 7|
|Air date||8th October, 2016|
|Yang VS Lucario||Maleficent VS Harry Potter|
Nintendo Kings Battle Royale is a What-If? episode of Death Battle featuring Bowser from the Mario franchise, Ganondorf from the Legend of Zelda franchise, King K. Rool from the Donkey Kong franchise, and King Dedede from the Kirby franchise.
These four kings belonging to the king of gaming companies will duke it out to find out who is the true king of all kings!
Blade: Nintendo, the king of gaming companies, creators of Pokémon, Metroid, Earthbound, or Kid Icarus, some of video games' greatest giants.
Lion: But sometimes the hero doesn't fight criminal masterminds, aliens, fucked up demon thingies or gods. They fight kings. Like Bowser, enemy to Mario and the King of Koopas.
Blade: Ganondorf, enemy to Link and the Gerudo Evil King.
Lion: K. Rool, enemy to Expand Dong- I mean Donkey Kong! And the King of Kremlins.
Blade: And Dedede, enemy to Kirby and the King of Dream Land.
Lion: He's Blade and I'm Lion...
Blade: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle Royale.
Blade: To rule a kingdom, every king has his duties. They need to watch over their people, handle the bad situations, take care of the kingdom...
Lion: ...Or kidnap princesses to take care of your spoiled bratty son, because why the fuck not!
Blade: Enter King Bowser Koopa, Mario's enemy since the 80s and onwards.
Lion: His family somehow gone at an early age, Bowser was taken care of by Kamek, an old Koopa wizard with some really derpy glasses. Well, either way, Bowser was a pain in the ass for Kamek to take care of, but somehow, within the time Bowser grew into a toddler, he was a FUCKING baby kidnapper!
Blade: This is when Bowser first met Mario, who would go on to be his enemy since then.
Lion: Bowser's been kind of a jobber to Mario since then, but the dude's so strong it doesn't even fucking matter!
Blade: Bowser with his own raw sheer strength can lift a few thousand tons of metal balls. He has the speed to keep up with Mario, who's been calced at speeds massively faster than light.
Lion: But his fists aren't Bowser's primary weapon. While he's punched castles and clawed Mario before, his main standard firebreath is golden to him.
Blade: Bowser can breathe fire in the form of fireballs, streams of fire, rain, or upgrade them into stronger, blue or white fire.
Lion: And while this doesn't surpass the heat of lava, Bowser's made life living hell for Mario this way!
Blade: Bowser's shell is his primary source of defense, being able to tank getting drowned in lava and blows from Mario. Add in those fearsome spikes that he can launch like a cannon, and you've practically got a walking fortress.
Lion: But aside from all that, Bowser's got a badass flying Clown Car from where he can throw exploding Mechakoopas and rolling cannonballs. He packs Bob-Ombs, which he can throw from ANOTHER car called the Bowsermobile, which looks nothing like him but FUCK THAT, Bowser's way cooler than Batman! But Bowser's main strength isn't in his breath, or his strength, or his car... ...it's his magic.
Blade: That's right, Bowser, despite being a giant crossover between a dragon, a dog, an ox and a turtle, has some surprisingly good magic techniques.
Lion: He can use this magic to make black holes, make thunder, alter gravity by simply roaring, or make stone randomly rise from the ground!
Blade: Bowser's magic has let him turn most of the Mushroom Kingdom into bricks, a feat which was strangely relevant to the story.
Lion: But when Bowser can't win in his current form, he just has to clone himself with a Double Cherry or use the Super Bell to turn into a cat!
Blade: As Cat Bowser, Bowser gains the ability to climb walls, and gains sharper claws for slashing. His tail turns into a swishing whip, and his standard firebreath turns blue.
Lion: And, contrary to popular belief, Bowser's pretty fucking smart! The dude's made hundreds of grand plans and grand schemes to kill Mario, only failing because of the story! Fuck the plot, am I right?
(Cue Castle:- SMB OST)
Blade: Bowser's a walking, talking, feat-achieving machine. He's outran and survived black holes, is strong enough to fight his own castle and lift thousands of tons, survived being thrown into lava, being in space, and even taken meteors to the face. He conquered a galaxy twice, has kept up with and surpassed Mario and Luigi in combat, kidnapped Mario twice, and even stole every last Grand Star. No doubt, Bowser's tough.
Lion: He's only got MANY disadvantages though! He's gullible, despite being a genius, and he HAS been killed before. When he gets TOO hurt, Bowser turns into a pile of worthless white bones called Dry Bowser, who needs a magic pot to be turned back to normal. Still, he's a ruler with an iron fist, and one epic love child of Blastoise, Charizard and Venusaur. Whether he's tennising Mario, playing soccer or fighting him in space, he's sure to be badass while doing so.
"I'm Bowser! I'm grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I'm going to take over the world any day now!"
(Cue Ganon's Castle)
Blade: Long ago, before the realm of Hyrule, there existed a demon king known as Demise, who wished to claim the holy artefact known as the Triforce as his own, to gain his heart's greatest desire. He sent an army of men-
Lion: Red finger-painting men, Blade, get your shit right.
Blade: Finger-painting men-
Lion: RED finger-painting men, Blade.
Blade: Screw it, red finger-painting men to attack the goddess Hylia, who sealed away the Triforce in three different pieces. Power, Wisdom and Courage.
Lion: Then she sent a hero to stop Demise, and died to defend the Triforce. After a few thousand years, she was reincarnated as an ugly princess, the hero became fairy Peter Pan ripoff, and Demise was reincarnated as Ganon, the evil king.
Blade: Like the other two, Ganon obtained a piece of the Triforce, however, unlike the others, he attempted to get them all and eventually only ended up with Power.
Lion: But don't go around underestimating this dude because of being with one piece! He's got strength, and uses it well. He can wield staves, katanas, a sword he obtained after being stabbed, and augment darkness into his attacks!
Blade: Ganondorf can also create light-based magic in his hands and shoot them towards his enemies. He can also use it to unleash his inner beast and become the demonic pig, Ganon.
Lion: As Ganon, ol' Dorfy can use light-based magic to its fullest potential, as well as gaining swords that can slice up castle pillars in both hands. Ganon can also use dark magic to an extent with this form, but mainly relies on his increased strength and swords.
Blade: Ganon's strong. He has claimed the Triforce a number of times, sliced apart pillars, taken on Link and even killed him in one timeline, and once shattered his castle with a single punch.
Lion: Ganon isn't without faults though. He's vulnerable to anything light-based or holy, and is pretty slow. He couldn't keep up with anything Link threw at him. Let's not forget the drama he puts up if he's injured.
Blade: Still, Ganon's the feared Gerudo King for a reason, and that adds to why you shouldn't annoy him.
"These toys are too much for you! I command you to return them to me!"
King K. Rool
Blade: Stealing bananas was always the goal of K. Rool, the arch enemy of Donkey Kong, and the King of Kremlins.
Lion: Not much is known about him, aside from this:- "one day, he stole a horde of bananas from Donkey Kong, which was a big fuck-up on his part. Since then, he's been their arch enemy."
Blade: Being a giant crocodile that terrorizes a family of gorillas, K. Rool has super strength, skill in boxing, and has taken on several roles before.
Lion: These include a shotgun pirate that uses a log that fires cannonballs that can be normal or spiked and actually hurt and a mad scientist with some insane equipment like a helicopter or bombs.
Blade: He can create earthquakes by pounding the ground, and can somehow make cannonballs rain when he jumps. Don't ask.
Lion: He can also roll into a ball despite looking like a drunk fatass crocodile that had too much punch from Donkey Kong, and go invisible temporarily!
Blade: The same is true for his invincibility, and surprisingly... he can also throw his-blade sharp crown like a weapon.
Lion: But when needed the most, K. Rool eats his Crystal Banana, and turns scary-strong! He can create typhoons, make it rain fireballs, shoot landmines, summon meteors and change the weather!
(Cue Jungle Japes:- DK64)
Blade: K. Rool has done some insane things. He's on par in strength with DK, who punched the moon out of orbit, is faster than Diddy Kong, who is the fastest Kong, survived a fall after being punched by DK, right into the ocean and was then attacked by sharks, and takes abuse from him on a daily basis.
Lion: On the downside, he's a mentally affected retard and a complete idiot. You'd think twice before making the same mistake every time with a dumbass monkey, but no. Also he's an idiotic show off and leaves himself vulnerable. Lots. Of. Times.
Blade: I mean, at least he isn't as dumb as DK...
K. Rool appears before Donkey Kong aboard his ship.
Blade: As the self-inserted King of Dream Land, King Triple D has no other real backstory.
Lion: So eventually he came across some little puffball thing, who, for some reason has a fetish for eating and now is his mortal enemy.
Blade: Well, Dedede's more of an anti-hero. He HAS helped out Kirby and Meta Knight in some occasions, but also tends to be his villain a lot.
Lion: Well, for a fatass penguin, he's pretty damn fast, and can surprisingly move around at the speed of light while carrying a big-ass hammer with him!
Blade: With this hammer, Dedede can bash his opponents with turbo-charged attacks, spin it around like a tornado while attacking, or throw spiked minions called Gordos at them. Speaking of his minions, he can also summon Doos and Dees. While a Dee is useless, Doos can actually use electricity.
Lion: His mouth has the power to suck in just about anything, including Kirby. I on ded if he uses it for something else...
Blade: Yeah... shut up. Dedede's also rather fond of throwing around his weight. He can body slam his opponents, crash down on them or simply use his weight to knock them around by sliding at them.
Lion: And when he really needs it, all Dedede has to do, is put on a mask.
Blade: As Masked Dedede, Dedede's hammer turns into iron, and lets him implement fire and electricity into his attacks, letting him launch fire, zap his enemies and make shockwaves that stun the opponent.
Lion: Dedede's also way stronger than he looks! He's kept up in and even trumped planet-busting Kirby in combat, flew faster than the goddamn Warp Star, and taken on Magalor, who's just straight-up a universe buster in his final form!
Blade: And I don't kid when I say he's been able to survive some pretty severe defeats from Kirby as well, I mean, heck it's a wonder how he's still standing.
Lion: You'd think being a faster than light fatass penguin makes you badass, but... Dedede's... kind of an idiot. I mean, he's been taken down by a baby, and for fuck's sake, you'd think he'd know at this point to stop making the same mistakes and jobbing to Kirby, but nooo.
Blade: Ah, yes, babies! Exactly why Dedede is pissed enough to fight three other kings to the death now!
"I NEED A MONSTER TO CLOBBER THAT THERE KIRBY!"
Blade: Well, the combatants are set, let's settle this once and for all.
Lion: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
King Bowser Koopa's Castle...
As per usual, Goombas, Koopas and Paragoombas roamed the castle, on patrol. Every room had at least 10 creatures in it, except for one. In this room, there were four thrones, each as tall as the ceiling, with only the required space for a king to sit upon each. But only one throne was full. On it sat a giant turtle-like dragon with two ox horns on his head. A tuft of red hair crowned said head, and his face was green with two menacing red eyes, except for his jaw, which was colored cream. He had a black spiked collar around his neck and arms, with a giant tan shell underneath his neck. Behind the shell was a green back with giant missile-sized spikes from underneath where stuck out a yellow tail. And last but not least were his four clawed limbs, each of which were the size to easily turn a normal man into mincemeat. This was King Bowser Koopa.
Bowser looked up and around and growled, muttering to himself.
"They're late. What is the meaning of this?"
Bowser's seat was the tallest among them all, with the emblem of a Koopa's head on it. Looking around, the turtle glared at the crocodile-headed throne. He then looked at the throne that had the emblem of a giant hammer. He then turned his attention to the one with a sword on it and growled. Just then, a giant blackish-purple portal opened up above it, startling Bowser. A dark figure landed on the throne, his ragged cape flowing despite the lack of wind.
This figure had red hair worn in backward dreadlocks. He bore no crown, nor a symbol of a king, but the armored, battle-ready, muscular structure and the steel-strong limbs didn't lie:- King Ganon of the Gerudo was here.
"I assume you know why you're here?"
"I do indeed. Another one of your meetings to discuss those men and creatures that mock our kingdoms?"
"Humph. Was there anything else you expected?"
At this instant was when the wall exploded and a fat crocodillian walked in holding a log. He was fat, and had one eye that looked drunk and popping out. This king bore a bejeweled crown and a red cape, and there was no mistaking him as King K. Rool of the Kremlins.
"K. Rool. Take a seat."
K. Rool stumbled in, and looked up at his seat with the crocodile emblem. With the press of a button on his remote, K. Rool used a Helipack to reach the top and plop down. He looked around, before putting both arms together and rubbing the hands.
"Bowser, you called? This better be big."
"Trust me, this is the plan that'll end that wretched plumber and his idiotic friends, that elf, the monkey, and the pink creature."
At the mention of this pink creature, the ceiling above the hammer seat cracked apart, and a fat blue penguin carrying a hammer butt-slammed into the seat. The penguin had a hat nearly identical to that of Santa Claus, a heavy-looking hammer, a red woolly jacket, and underneath, a white vest with two stubby yellow bird feet at the bottom. King Dedede was in the house.
"Well then, Bowser, each of us are here. Tell me your plot then."
Bowser looked around the room, and finally took his fist off his chin.
"Our kingdoms are separate, and we've been overthrown many times."
The other kings nodded in agreement.
"That wretched Link... Soon comes the day my curse on him finishes him off, once and for all."
Ganon simply raised an eyebrow.
"But to the point, the day of our triumph comes..."
As he said this, Bowser started to get off his throne.
"But only one of us will claim victory!"
(Cue Koopa's Road:- GaMetal)
As he said this, Bowser jumped off his throne and landed on the ground so hard the floor shattered underneath his feet. The other three kings smirked. Ganon teleported in front of Bowser and slowly walked towards him, but K. Rool separated them with a cannon shot and started waddling towards them. But within that time, Dedede had slammed into the crack in the ground, and all four kings tumbled into the lower floor. Bowser was the first to get up, crossing his arms before his chest. Dedede was next, putting his hammer to his side. Then came Ganon, rising up and puffing his chest proudly, in combat-ready manner, and balled his hands into fists. Finally, K. Rool stumbled up, and got in a simple combative position.
FIGHT!Bowser started by sliding toward Ganon and delivering a dropkick, but Ganon grabbed him and smacked him into the ground. Bowser's eyes were now swirling in confusion as Ganon picked him up, spinning around and hurling him into a wall, which shattered and covered him in debris. Dedede, who was looking back all this time, shrugged and dashed at K. Rool, delivering a heavy blow from his hammer to his jaw. K. Rool was sent flying, right through the wall, as Dedede dashed outside onto the entry bridge, where K. Rool had landed. Dedede brandished his hammer in one hand as K. Rool got up, and fired a spiked cannonball right at him.
Dedede bashed the cannonball into the sky, as K. Rool fired a few more at him. With quick strikes of his hammer, Dedede sent each flying backwards, rebounding them on K. Rool. The Kremlin King kneeled down, as Dedede dashed at him and hammered him into the air. He then raised his hammer and fired off a barrage of missiles into him. K. Rool landed on the ground behind Dedede, charred and wearing a stunned expression. As he got up, K. Rool looked at the laughing Dedede, and, enraged, hurled his crown at him.
Dedede looked at the crown in mock surprise, and smirked, when the sharp point of the crown impaled him in the chest, causing blood to spurt out. Dedede's eyes widened as he screamed in cartoonish fashion. K. Rool smirked and fired off a blue gas from his Blunderbuss.
Meanwhile, Bowser was wrestling Ganon in the room they crashed into. Ganon strained to push Bowser further, but in turn was pushed back, and punched twice, before being breathed fire on. Ganon walked out of the fire, much to Bowser's surprise, and slammed him into the ground, delivering his elbow to his stomach. Ganon then walked back, and pulled a pillar out of the wall. As Bowser got up, Ganon instantaneously bashed him with the pillar, knocking him into a wall. Ganon continued his advance on the Koopa King, pillar in hand.
At the bridge...
Dedede was still stunned from the Blunderbuss' gas. K. Rool walked up to him, punching him twice, then slamming him into the bridge, cracking it. Dedede's head was now stuck in the bridge. K. Rool followed up by firing his Blunderbuss into him, cracking the bridge. The entire thing shattered, leaving both kings to fall into the lava. K. Rool screamed, then realized he had his helipack. Turning it on, the king flew upwards, and landed on a castle window. The Kremlin King opened a door and walked into the next room, only to fall through a hole into the lava room. When he landed, K. Rool spotted all the bubbling lava, and turned around, looking at the exact opposite of what he wanted to see right now.
Dedede, hammer charged, bashed it right into K. Rool, knocking him into the air, with missiles driving him backwards. As he flew out the room, cracking a hole in the wall to do so, K. Rool's body exploded in half, followed by the missiles exploding to blow him up into a bloody mess, followed by said blood falling in the lava.
Dedede smacked his hammer into the ground, laughing. K. Rool was dead.
Bowser fell down onto the ground, as Ganon walked up to him with the pillar in hand. Bowser reacted just in time to grab the pillar, and tug it from Ganon's hands. He followed up by bashing his head into Ganon, impaling him with his horn. He then punched the Demon King through the wall, and walked out onto the bridge himself. Ganon got back up, rubbing the back of his head, and spotted Bowser on the approach. He augmented a bluish light into his feet, and slowly levitated upwards. Looking down at Bowser, Ganon raised an arm and fired off a ball of light at him. Bowser smirked and retreated into his shell, spinning around and launching the ball back at him. Ganon deflected the ball with his cape, only for Bowser to spin around once more. Ganon growled as he deflected the ball back, but was too slow to react this time as Bowser spun around and reflected the ball right into him, knocking him down. Bowser then charged up a slide kick, and sent Ganon flying into a wall, causing it to shatter and pieces to fall on him. As the smoke cleared off, Ganon levitated into the air once more, this time launching several light balls into Bowser and stunning him.
"Time to finish you."
Chuckling, Ganon walked up to Bowser and pulled out his sword. He slashed the Koopa King twice, causing blood to spurt out, then grabbed him and smashed him into the ground, black electricity surging from his fist. Ganon then raised the sword, and thrust it into Bowser's chest, impaling him and causing more blood to spout out. Ganon then laughed derisively, onto to be caught off-guard by a white fireball that knocked him backwards. Ganon looked down, but Bowser was gone. He then looked all around him, and spotted them.
Three jaguar-like turtles were now circling him. Ganon tried to find the real one, which should've been injured, but no. Every Meowser was perfectly fine. As Ganon tried to find the real one, he spotted his sword lying in the ground. In a quick motion, Ganon had picked it up, but a Meowser pounced at him at exactly that time. Ina quick reaction, Ganon sliced at the Meowser clone, exploding him into dust. The other two pounced on him just then, and started to bite and claw at him. From above, the REAL Bowser, who was slowly recovering, watched with a smirk on his face. As the Meowsers continued tearing away at Ganon, a purple aura began to glow from inside, and, with one black explosion, both Meowsers were destroyed, and who they were pouncing on was gone. In his place, there stood a giant blue pig-like creature, with deadly tusks and long red hair worn in even longer backwards dreadlocks. He had blue, soulless eyes, and was carrying two swords. The Dark Beast, Ganon had entered the ring.
Bowser cocked an eyebrow, then smirked once more as he jumped downwards at Ganon and slammed him full-force, causing the bridge to break and both to tumble down. The two were now wrestling at the moat, lava bubbling around them, with occasional eruptions. Ganon seemed to have the upper hand, pushing Bowser backwards and slashing him twice. Blood spouted out from Bowser's chest, as Ganon raised his sword once more, but Bowser quickly retreated into his shell and spun around, knocking Ganon down.
Bowser grabbed Ganon by the tusks, and swung him around, smashing him into the ground on either side. Finally, he started breathing blue fire on Ganon, causing the pig to squeal in fatal agony. Ganon's skin was the first thing to melt off, followed by his flesh, followed by his bones turning into a charred mess. Bowser then stomped his foot onto the tusk of his skull, flipping it upwards, and smacked it with his head, shattering it into whitish gray dust. Bowser then snapped his fingers, sucking the rest of the skeleton into a black hole, and laughed derisively. Ganon was dead.
Bowser was now walking up the stairs. Dedede was doing the same. Slowly walking up the spiral staircase, both had the same thing in mind. A dead opposing king.
"Bowser! I'm here to clobber you!" was Dedede's choice of words as he entered the ring. His opponent responded with:-
"Breath a last sigh of relief, because it's finally the end, Dedede. THE END OF YOU!"
Both kings dashed at each other full-speed, Dedede slide-tackling Bowser while Bowser dropkicked Dedede. The two then engaged in a physical fight. Dedede bashed Bowser twice with his hammer, then the third time, he smacked it right into his face, firing off missiles as he did so. The missiles exploded, but as all the smoke was gone, Bowser was now in a Clown Car. The King of Koopas laughed as he swooped downwards at Dedede, dropping down giant black cannonballs. The balls rolled at Dedede, who bashed them both away, but a Bob-Omb had already reached him and exploded. Smoke cleared off, as Masked Dedede appeared from the wreckage. Flying upwards, Dedede unleashed a shockwave on Bowser's chest, knocking him from the clown car, causing it to whirl out of control and explode. Dedede bashed Bowser several more times, until Bowser got hold of the hammer and snatched it from him. Bowser swung the hammer into Dedede's stomach, sending him flying into a wall, then threw the hammer away, and straight up ran at Dedede, grabbed him, and jumped out of the castle by tackling the wall and breaking it. The two kings were now in an aerial duel, Bowser clawing at Dedede and Dedede, somehow with his hammer back, unleashing fiery swings on Bowser. Both were unaware of what awaited them underneath. As they continued clashing, both plunged into the lava and were instantaneously flayed alive.
Giant Bowser burst out of the lava, as Dedede flew out. Bowser began running after the penguin king, who turned around and launched several missiles into his face. Unfazed, Bowser continued running at Dedede, breaking through the south bridge, as they were both approaching the north. Bowser opened up two black holes to stop Dedede, but the penguin king simply avoided both. Bowser shut down the black holes and spewed out red-hot fire at him. Dedede was this time knocked down, right onto the north bridge. Bowser walked up to him, but Dedede was already back up, and jumped upwards, delivering a blow to Bowser's snout, as well as his chin. Bowser growled as Dedede attempted to strike at his head, but was bashed away by his horn. Bowser slowly advanced on Dedede as the bridge broke off by Bowser simply touching it. Bowser then started pulling at his hammer, as Dedede did his best to resist. Bowser's tug was getting stronger, but Dedede wasn't about to give up soon. Finally, with an awesome amount of strength, Bowser tugged the hammer from Dedede, its owner included. Now while the hammer tumbled harmlessly off Bowser's head, Dedede flew right towards his mouth. Bowser opened his mouth and snapped his jaws shut in an instant, causing blood to fly everywhere. The Koopa King looked around at the four destroyed bridges and shrugged, then attached his claw to a window, waiting to revert to normal size.
Bowser renters the castle and is shown bossing around his Goombas while Ganon's corpse floats in space. Dedede's hammer is shown broiling in the lava. K. Rool's crown resurfaces right under Bowser's foot.
Lion: Oh. Oh dear. OH FUCKING DEAR!!!!
Blade: Each king basically topped out the last one by a massive margin in this fight. Start with K. Rool for example. His weaponry may trump Ganon's, however... he was severely weak compared to the other fighters.
Lion: We're talkin' someone who LITERALLY jobs to a family of monkeys, has insanity issues, and is slow as all fuck! I mean, do you REALLY expect him to tank a hammer blow from Triple D, live a punch from Ganon, or a FUCKING BOWSER BLACK HOLE?!!!
Blade: Additionally, K. Rool was an idiot compared to the others, and wouldn't last long. Ganon, on the other hand, while vulnerable to holy weapons, is too slow and weak to keep up with the other two.
Lion: Yeah. Ganon's strength may be pretty badass, but to black hole-makers like Bowser who can roll around at the speed of light or planet-busting punch survivors like Dedede make him look like a walk in the park. Let's be honest, Ganon ain't coming back from a black hole either.
Blade: And finally, there was Dedede VS Bowser. While Dedede holds the speed advantage, he was too weak to take on Bowser. I mean, sure, Dedede's taken quite a bit of punishment from Kirby, but you're talking someone who survived falling into the sun with Bowser. Dedede's strong, sure, but nowhere near Bowser's black-hole making, meteor-tanking, sun-falling, thousand ton-lifting level.
Lion: I guess Bowser took the crown in this fight.
Blade: The winner is King Bowser Koopa.
Next Time On DEATH BATTLE!
Lion: Next time on Death Battle...
Magic is a powerful thing.
But will the evil or the good surpass?