Paul Blart Vs. Mumen Rider is a What-If? Death Battle by Desert Croc. It features Paul Blart from the Paul Blart: Mall Cop movies and Mumen rider from the anime/manga series One Punch Man.
Description[]
Paul Blart: Mall Cop Vs. One Punch Man! They both fight on the side of justice and are known for riding on certain vehicles, but at the same time, they are not the brightest fighters around. When put up against each other, who will win? The Mall Cop or the Superhero?
Interlude[]
Scorchmark: There are many brave heroes who fight for justice, even the ones that aren't all that powerful.
Ripple: Sometimes, they just try their best to do what is right!
Scorchmark: And no two characters fit that description than theses two!
Ripple: Paul Blart, the mall cop of West Orange Mall.
Scorchmark: And Mumen Rider, a C-Class Superhero from Z-Ciy.
Ripple: He's Scorchmark and I'm Ripple.
Scorchmark: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle!
Paul Blart[]
Scorchmark: Paul Blart is a mall cop who has kept West Orange Mall safe from danger for 10 years.
Ripple: He was being picked on a bit, but then a huge event changed his life.
Scorchmark: Paul was busy playing a video game in the arcade and failed to notice that his mall was being taken over by criminals. When he did find out, he made an attempt to escape.
Ripple: But he discovered that his girlfriend Amy was being held hostage, so he decided to stay in the mall and stop the criminals from doing any harm to her.
Scorchmark: Sure, he is fat, but you'll be rather surprised what Paul is capable of.
Ripple: He has some stealth skills and is able to get around undetected when his foe has lost trace of him. He can use this to his advantage.
Scorchmark: Paul is also rather intelligent. He can create weapons, traps and distractions with whatever he can find.
Ripple: In terms of durability, Paul can take a beating. He fell from the roof of the mall while tackling a crook into a ball pit. While the crook suffered scratches and bruises from the fall, Paul was perfectly fine!
Scorchmark: He was also kicked by a horse, something that would break a few bones or kill someone, and wasn't injured at all! What is this guy?
Ripple: Paul's strength is nothing to ramble on about but he is able to knock people out with headbutt.
Scorchmark: But enough of that, let's get to his arsenal!
Ripple: Paul rides a vehicle known as a Segaway. It helps him travel around faster and he has a lot of experience with it. His current version of it is able to withstand bullet shots and is stocked with all of Paul's weapons.
Scorchmark: The weapons are non-lethal, but can still be useful. He has a taser that can stun a person for 5 seconds, two guns that shoot pellets which can knock an average being out and a grenade launcher that shoots marbles all over the floor. This doesn't seem like anything, but they can be used to trip his opponent.
Ripple: The grenade launcher can also fire sticky goo that can immobilize its target. This can backfire though and if it does, Blart gets caught in the goo himself.
Scorchmark: He also has a bottle of Tabasco sauce that he can use to hit people in the eye with. The sauce, I mean. Not the bottle.
Ripple: As well equipped as he is, Paul still has his weaknesses. His is a klutz and can end up in awkward situations. He once got his ass handed to him by a bird he was trying to scare away!
Scorchmark: His most well know weakness is that he suffers from Hypoglycemia. Every now and then, he must consume sugar or else he will pass out and put him at a disadvantage. He always happens to come across something that will get his senses back, however.
Ripple: Overall Paul may be an idiot, but he will do what it takes to ensure that there is peace in his mall, so you would be wise not to mess with it!
Mumen Rider[]
Scorchmark: If you're in Z-City and you see someone with a bike helping a child get their balloon back, you've seen the superhero Mumen Rider!
Ripple: You probably won't see him in action much though.
Scorchmark: Mumen Rider became a hero because he couldn't stand crime and wanted to do something about it. He doesn't seem to have any superpowers, but he has other stuff to make up for it...I guess?
Ripple: Mumen Rider's only piece of equipment is his bike. It is his method of transport and he can get around fast when he's in a hurry.
Scorchmark: He uses his own fists to take criminals down. It isn't known how skilled he is with combat, but he is Rank 1 of the C-Class, so it is implied he is better than normal.
Ripple: One of Mumen Rider's attacks is Justice Tackle. It's just a basic tackle. That's it.
Scorchmark: His next attack is a lot more interesting. It is called Justice Crash and it involves him jumping off his bike before it flies into the opponent!
Ripple: Mumen Rider is also very brave. He will take on anyone to keep peace, even he knows he can't beat them.
Scorchmark: He has a heckload of durability. He took a beating from the Sea King and continued fighting. In other words, he has a habit of refusing to give up.
Ripple: He also took a blow from Hammerhead and had his head smashed into the ground several times by Garou and survived, not without some injuries, though.
Scorchmark: He's no Saitama, but Mumen Rider will do his best to win, even if he knows he can't.
Pre Fight[]
Scorchmark: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all!
Ripple: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
West Orange Mall
It was and ordinary day in the mall. Everone was shopping and kids were playing and the man keeping them safe was patrolling the area.
Paul Blart rode on his segaway keeping an eye out for any trouble when there was a small earthquake. Everyone wondered what was going on.
"Evacuate the building! There's a monster outside!"
Without hesitation, Paul began to help the innocent people evacuate the mall. One person, however, crashed into the mall on his bike
Paul: Excuse me sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. No bikes allowed
Mumen Rider: Where is the monster!?
Paul: The monster is outside...
He looked outside to see that it was gone, what he didn't realize, however, was that Saitama had already killed it.
Mumen Rider: Why would you lie to me? There must be something going on! Unless...
He eyed Paul suspiciously
Mumen Rider: ...You are the monster
Paul: What!? What are you talking about? How can I be a monster?
Mumen Rider: You're probably one of those shape-shifters. You can fool me! I'm going to rid you of this world, evil being!
Paul: You're a lunatic! I won't allow such people in my mall!
The two hopped on their vehicles and got ready to engage in combat.
Paul drove towards Mumen Rider as he rode towards Paul. It seemed they were about to collide with each other when Paul swerved out of the way, Taking Mumen Rider by surprise. He then pulled out one of his guns and began firing at Mumen Rider.
Paul: Eat this!
Mumen Rider got hit by the pellets but was able to resist the damage. He turned around and headed in Paul's direction.
Paul: Uh oh.
Paul drove away from Mumen rider who was able to catch up with him on his bike. The two were now riding side by side. Mumen Rider tried to get in close and bump Blart's Segaway but Blart kept things steady. At the same time, the mall cop fired his gun at his opponent, but Mumen Rider either ducked under the shots, or an obstacle came in between them, preventing the shot from landing. Eventually, Mumen Rider bumped Blart off of his Segaway and sebt him sliding across the floor. As Blart got to his feet he looked up and his eyes widened.
Mumen Rider: JUSTICE CRASH!
Mumen Rider's bike flew into Blart, knocking him back. Mumen rider ran up to him and began to punch and kick him until he landed a blow that sent Blart flying into a Clothing Store. Mumen Rider lost Blart with the attack and entered the store to look for him.
Mumen Rider was looking around for his foe. What he was unaware of was that Blart remained undetected amongst the clothes. When the time was right, Blart leapt out and landed on Mumen Rider. He then began to punch him across the face, but Mumen rider kicked him off. Blart was sent flying and landed next to his Segaway.
Mumen rider got towards Blart just as he got on his Segaway. He was about to hit him when he was startled by Blart performing some crazy movements on his Segaway. He then rolled over Mumen Rider's toe and as he was distracted by the pain, the mall cop made a break for it. Mumen Rider got back on his bike and started chasing him.
Paul drove into an elevator and the door closed, causing Mumen Rider to crash into it. He was left with no choice but to ride up the escalator, so he did just that. When Paul reached the next floor, he realized he could use the time he had to gather some things he needed to defeat his opponent.
Mumen Rider rode around the next floor looking for Blart when he found him standing in the middle of a hallway. He rode towards him and as he did, Blart pulled out his grenade launcher and fired marbles across the ground. Mumen rider slipped and fell off his bike as Paul ran into a sports store.
Mumen Rider pursued Blart and entered the store. He couldn't find anything at first, but then his eyes caught a Robosapian doing a dance.
Mumen Rider: What's this?
While he was distracted, He was completely unaware that Blart was hiding in a hockey suit behind him. Blart hit Mumen Rider with a hockey stick and proceeded to attack him with it. Mumen Rider was eventually able to block the attacks and make a comeback.
Mumen Rider: Justice Tackle!
Mumen Rider tackled blart out of the store and into a wall. He then punched him across the face until Paul headbutted him, knocking him down. Blart got out his grenade launcher and fired some goo at Mumen Rider, restraining his hand.
Paul: Looks like you've gotten yourself into a sticky situation!
Blart attempted to fire again, but nothing came out except drops of goo that landed on his feet. Now he was stuck.
Paul: Well bummer.
Mumen Rider managed to free himself and kicked Paul in the gut, knocking him into his Segaway. Blart got on it and drove towards Mumen Rider, running him over. Mumen Rider was now injured a lot but he was not giving up. He got on his bike and ran as fast as he could. He hit Blart and they both fell from the floor into the ball pit below, with their vehicles following.
Paul grabbed his Segaway and rose up as Mumen Rider tossed his bike out of the pit he turned around and was grabbed by Paul.
Paul: This is for messing with my mall!
Paul was about to headbutt him but then felt dizzy. He eventually collapsed and passed out. Mumen Rider laughed.
Mumen Rider: So I've finally worn you out, huh? Now I can finally finish you off!
Mumen Rider tossed Blart out of the ball pit. As he landed, Paul saw what appeared to be a dirty lollipop lying on the ground. He had no choice but to eat it in order to get back into action and that's what he did. Mumen Rider was prepared to stomp on him but Paul whipped out his taser and zapped Mumen Rider with it, stunning him. He then ran into the Rain forest Cafe. Mumen Rider followed Blart into the cafe. As he he was looking for the mall cop amongst the artificial jungle, he stepped on a fake vine and was tripped. Paul then grappled Mumen Rider who broker free of the grip and shoved Blart away. The mall cop ran into the kitchen and Mumen Rider followed. Mumen Rider searched the kitchen. He was not going to be fooled this time. He was searching the place thoroughly when he saw something that seemed out of place. He got closer to see what it was.
It was a fish tank heater, and it was turned on.
Mumen Rider: Oh cra...
The cafe exploded with Mumen Rider caught in it. Paul Blart walked away in truimph.
Paul: And that's another crook taken care of!
K.O.!
- Paul Blart rides home on his Segaway
- Saitama is seen offering a banana to Mumen Rider's corpse
Results[]
Scorchmark: Mumen Rider really went out with a bang!
Ripple: Mumen Rider may be physically strong and better in combat than Paul, but at the same time, he is also reckless. This is the reason why he is beaten up so often.
Scorchmark: Paul is more intellegent and strategic than Mumen Rider, he was able to lay traps that he didn't see coming, even when he thought he was prepared!
Ripple: And while he is not as durable as Mumen Rider, he is still way up there. He could take a beating from a guy such as Mumen Rider any day of the week!
Scorchmark: Paul also has luck on his side. It's the reason why he is able to overcome his Hypoglycemia in battle.
Ripple: Don't forget that Paul has taken out a handful of criminals before. Mumen Rider has yet to defeat a single foe!
Scorchmark: Mumen Rider may be a superhero, but in the end, it doesn't even matter!
Ripple: The Winner is Paul Blart
