Peach vs Minnie is a What-if Death Battle.
Super Mario vs Mickey and Friends. Which girlfriend of the main heroes will ge the love in a Death Battle?
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Wiz: Mario and Mickey Mouse are popular mascots of all.
Boomstick: And of course, they have girlfriends like Princess Peach, the sexy princess of Mushroom Kingdom.
Wiz: And Minnie Mouse, the mouse girlfriend of Mickey Mouse.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick:
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find ot who would win a Death Battle.
(Cue Mario Strikers Charged Peach's Theme)
Wiz: Princess Peach, the original ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and the holder of many powers.
Boomstick: One of which seems to be able to be kidnapped by the same turtle for almost three and a half decades. Amazing.
Wiz: Uh, no. Those are not her powers at all. Anyways, her powers are the Vibe Powers, powers that she can use by channeling her emotions, all thanks to the Vibe Scepter-
Boomstick: *pft* Sorry, everytime- Okay, okay. These Vibe Powers come in four. Joy allows her to fly, Gloom increases speed and her tears damage her enemies, Calm creates a healing bubble, and finally the time of the month Rage gives her invulnerable to attacks but slows her down a lot.
Wiz: Other examples of her powers are flotation, can heal herself, and use a magic sheep that puts her enemies to sleep.
Boomstick: The same thing that fucked over Zelda last time. And as always, the Mega Strike Empress Peach. This move, as shown before, can obliterate the human head. Peach also has her fair share of "weaponry".
Wiz: This weaponry consists of a tennis racket, a frying pan, a golf club, turnips that she can pull from anywhere, Perry the Parasol: a living parasol that can stun enemies, and finally, the Peach Bomber.
Boomstick: The hips do not lie in this move as being hit by it can cause an explosion.
Wiz: And she's been known to use power ups as well. These power ups include the Fire Flower, a power that lets her shoot fire balls. The Star power up makes her invincible for a short time. The Mega Mushroom makes her a giant. The Boomerang Flower lets her materialize boomerangs that she can throw for long distances.
Boomstick: The Super Leaf gives her the Tanooki Suit, which makes her able to float, as if that wasn't already prominent, and lets her send projectiles back with a swipe of her tail. And the Double Cherry creates two of her.
Wiz: While Princess Peach may seem like a fragile character, she has survived many end-life things, such as a reality warping blast which decimated everything but left her, Mario, and Bowser virtually untouched while everyone else seemed to perish.
Boomstick: And not to mention she has a lot of experience in combat from her being playable in 37 of over 55 games.
Wiz: However, she is weak and while extremely athletic, is slow. But with her impressive arsenal, combat experience, and durability, Peach might win this battle.
(Cue Minnie's Bowtique)
Wiz: Minnie Mouse is the female character from Disney and girlfriend of Mickey Mouse.
Boomstick: How she looks cute if mouses are ugly?
Wiz: Well, she is a cartoon character, some cartoon characters are not equal to real life!
Boomstick: Oh ok!
Wiz: Now let's move for her abilities, Minnie in the Kingdom Hearts series has magic powers like pearl, a sphere of light that homes in some peoples.
Boomstick: The faith ability lets her summon a large pillar of light under her to knock peoples back!
Wiz: Her purse can be used to knock peoples back, can be used to make a spin attack and can be charged for a powerful throwing attack!
Boomstick: Her revolver lets her fires projectiles, yeah!
Wiz: Her super wonder bow lets her to throws a ribbon like a boomerang and the ribbon can traps people like ropes!
Boomstick: Her window cleaner lets her disappear and reappear, WTF?
Wiz: Her staff lets her use some spells like Double Helix Lightning, a spell that can shoots double lightning bolts, the Gar-fog-din Blinding Fog spell lets her conjures up a thick fog to hide herself, the Giant Spray Can Insecticidium spell lets her to summon a giant can of pesticide which sprays all over the enemy. Poisons insect enemies while causing non-insectoid enemies get sick and continuously cough, the instant barrier spell lets her to brings up a magic shield that blocks off speedy enemies.
Boomstick: The sorcerer outfit lets her to use magic attacks, her magic attacks are limited in this outfit!
Wiz: The sweeper outfit lets her to suck up some things to her large vacuum!
Boomstick: And ar last, her cowboy outfit lets her to fire corks from her pop gun and she has a toy stick horse to run more fast and jump more high!
Wiz: Minnie isn't much experienced and she has no training to combat hand to hand!
Minnie: Just imagine... He'll stride into the room; a light will glow from him. I'll hear music, he'll bring me flowers,and he'll sweep me off my feet! And, I'll know he's the one, when he makes me laugh!
(Cue Invader Jim Johnston)
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
(Cue New Super Mario Bros U Overworld Theme)
An portal appeared in the Mushroom Kingdom revealing Minnie exiting from the portal.
Minnie: What kind of place is this?
Peach is walking when she sees Minnie.
Peach: What are you doing here?
Minnie: I come from a portal that sends me in this dimension!
Peach: Hmm, let's fight to see how strong you is!
Minnie: A fight? Ok i will fight you!
Both girls enters in combat positions.
(Cue Super Princess Peach Boss Fight)
Minnie summons a large pillar of light under her and Peach got knocked back by the light, Peach gets up and she takes turnips out of the grass and she throws at Minnie hitting the mouse in the head, Minnie and Peach coliding the parasol and the purse until Peach knocks Minnie back with the frying pan, Minnie shoots bullets from her Revolver hitting the princess of Mushroom Kingdom.
Peach starts crying dropping big tears in the ground, Minnie runs at Peach to hit Peach back with the purse but it failed because Minnie slipped in the tears and falls down to the ground, Peach swing her golf club at Minnie knocking the mouse back, Minnie charges and throws her purse at Peach but Peach reflects swinging the frying pan knocking Minnie back.
Peach stayed in angry making her be on fire, Minnie shoots more bullets from the revolver but this didn't hurt Peach, Peach charges at Minnie making Minnie be on fire, Minnie screams in pain by be on fire and she jumps to a lake to get rid of fire, Peach is now quietly making the fire disappear, Minnie leaves the lake and she throws her super wonder bow trapping Peach.
Minnie shoots double helix lightning from her staff eletrocutating Peach and freeing Peach from the super wonder bow, Peach equips the fire flower turning into Fire Peach, Fire Peach throws fireballs but Minnie uses instant barrier spell blocking the fireballs, Minnie equips the window cleaner and she wipes her body making herself disappear.
Fire Peach: Huh, where she go?
Minnie reappears behind Fire Peach and she swings her purse at Fire Peach's back knocking Peach down and making her lost her transformation, Minnie wears the sorcerer outfit and she charges a burst of magic and she shots at Peach knocking her back, Peach equips the Star turning into Star Peach, Minnie was shocked by see Peach in Star mode and she throws a pearl at Star Peach but it didn't hurt Star Peach.
Star Peach charges at Minnie and she hits Minnie with a lot of slaps finishing with a kick sending Minnie flying to the air and then Minnie falls down to the ground while Peach star effect goes off.
Minnie: Ouch, how you're powerful!
Minnie gets up slowly and she equips the shield shell, Peach uses Peach Bomber on Minnie but it didn't hurt Minnie, Minnie punches Peach back and she throws another pearl at Peach, Minnie shield chell goes off while Peach gets up, Peach equips the mega mushroom turning into Mega Peach.
Minnie: Oh no, you're giant!
Minnie runs while Mega Peach is chasing Minnie, Minnie drops a paint splotcher making Mega Peach slips and falls down, Minnie throws a baseball chucker at Mega Peach making the baseball explodes until Peach mega mushroom effect goes off.
Minnie: Now is my chance!
Minnie throws a magno flyer at Peach but Peach blocks it with a Toad, Minnie throws a trace chaser but Peach destroys it with a golf club, Peach summons a sheep and she throws at Minnie's head making Minnie sleep.
Peach: Alright, now is my chance!
Peach jumps back turning into Empress Peach, Empress Peach flys at Minnie and she do a mega strike at Minnie's head exploding into blood while Minnie screams in pain, Peach turns back to normal while she lands.
Peach: Did i win?
Peach continues her journey to rescue Mario, Luigi and Toad while Minnie's dead corpse is eaten by two Goombas.
(Cue SSBM Princess Peach's Castle)
Boomstick: No, my childhood character died!
Wiz: Peach is more experienced, more stronger, more durable, more faster and has more weapons than Minnie, Peach weapons are more powerful and this helped her to kill Minnie, Minnie isn't much experienced and is not too powerful to beat Peach.
Boomstick: Looks like Minnie Mouse's day is over!
Wiz: The winner is Princess Peach!