Rocky vs Hajime no Ippo! East vs West! The Italian Stallion takes on the Featherweight Champion!
Wiz: The underdog. Someone who was put down all their life, has all the odds stacked against them-
Boomstick: But still manage to beat the shit out of you! Rocky Balboa, the Italian Stallion.
Wiz: And Ippo Makunouchi, Japan's Featherweight Champion.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's out job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: Robert "Rocky" Balboa was born to a Roman Catholic Italian-American Family-
Boomstick: Insert Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan joke here.
Wiz: He was inspired by his idol Rocky Marciano and encouraged by his father to become a great boxer.
Boomstick: It didn't really work out at first, and he wound up having to join the mafia to make some cash.
Wiz: Rocky outright refused violent orders from his boss Tony Gazzo.
Tony: Why didn't you break this guys thumbs like I asked you too?
Boomstick: Yeah things were pretty bad for our thick accented friend, until he received an opportunity to fight Apollo Creed, a world famous boxing champ.
Wiz: And thus he began his rigorous training
Boomstick: Said training was with Mickey Goldmill, who trained Rocky to be the ultimate boxer! He specializes in the South Paw Stance, which many boxers don't have experience fighting against. Also, future combatant BRUCE GODDAMN LEE used this stance, so that gives the Italian Stallion plus 5 man points. And he already has a lot considering he's played by Stallone!
Wiz: He has mastered the two punch uppercut combo.
Boomstick: Doesn't sound that hard to master, but it can mess you up!
Wiz: If he needs to, he can switch right out of the South Paw Stance and trip up his opponents, making him quite unpredictable.
Boomstick: This guy can outrun CARS! Not to mention he can punch 7 times per second, and do so for a minute straight without tiring. Hell, he even fought Hulk Hogan!
Boomstick: Don't think about it. Just look at it. Isn't it AWESOME! Oh and Mr. T.
Wiz: Oh godda-
Boomstick: But most impressive of all is when he beat the hell out of Ivan Drago, a literal super soldier who can punch as hard as a bullet train! Hell, he took more punches from that guy that I can count.
Wiz: Speaking of that, Rocky's flaws are...well...he rarely blocks.
Boomstick: He's that kind of stupid huh?
Boomstick: Well regardless, he's a badass through and through, and can kick your ass faster than you call Rocky 5 a bad movie.
Rocky: Yo Adrian, I did it!
Wiz: Growing up with no father in a fishing life, Ippo Makunouchi had one question on his mind whenever he was beat up by bullies: What is it like to be strong?
Boomstick: Something he would learn when a man named Takamura Mamoru saved him from bullies.
Wiz: Awestruck by the strength and bravery of his savior, he asked to be brought to the boxing gym with him, where he was introduced to boxing coach Kamogawa Genji.
Boomstick: And thus, Ippo's training began.
Wiz: Turns out, Ippo had a natural talent for powerful punches.
Boomstick: Yeah, powerful enough to smash through whole trees! He was trained in the Peekaboo stance, which was popularized by Mike Tyson himself. Not as good as a Bruce Lee endorsement in my opinion, but still pretty badass.
Wiz: This stance allows him a strong defense without giving up any power, which compliments his low defense quite well.
Boomstick: Ippo trains hard, running full speed at metal bars, or striking logs into the freaking hillside with a hammer.
Wiz: During training he gained a wide arsenal of boxing moves.
Boomstick: Like the Liver Blow, which is exactly what it sounds like, and the Gazelle Punch, a giant ass uppercut to his opponents skull.
Wiz: But his trademark move the Dempsey Roll is his most powerful.
Boomstick: It's a deadly technique that combines figure-eight weaving and powerful hooks. It even earned him the nickname "Wind God". Eat shit Fūjin!
Wiz: He can even move faster than the eye can see, and throw a One Centimeter Punch.
Boomstick: Wait what? Bruce Lee has a One Inch Punch and this guy has a One Centimeter!?
Wiz: He also sometimes uses the Southpaw Stance.
Boomstick: Seems familiar.
Wiz: Ippo is tough, and has become the Featherweight champion. He has an uncanny ability to keep getting back up after he is knocked down, no matter what.
Boomstick: He's got heart. That's for sure.
Ippo: What does it mean to be strong?
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a boxing Death Battle!
We open up on a wall, where a poster is shown, although the text is in Japanese, it reads: Fight of the Century: Wind God vs Italian Stallion.
Suddenly, a blur rushes past the poster. This blur is none other than Ippo Makunouchi
He is training for said match with his coach. Clips of him throwing punches at a punching bag are shown, alongside various other training clips.
We then cut to a gym, where another man is undergoing similar training. We see the same poster on the wall from before, but this time the text is in English. This is the boxing gym where Rocky Balboa trains. There is a TV in the background showing a rerun of a boxing match between some midget and a weird looking animal
The words "One Week Later" appear on the screen.
Both Rocky and Ippo are standing in different corners.
Announcer: Alright everyone it's time for an intense boxing match of legends! In this corner, representing the west, he's got the eye of the tiger, it's the Italian Stallion, ROOOOCKY BALBOAAA!
The crowd goes wild, chanting "Rocky!" over and over
Announcer: And in this corner, representing the East, Japan's featherweight champ, Ippo Makunouchiiii!
The crowd goes wild again, this time chanting Ippo's name
A referee comes out and the two boxers stand face to face.
Ref: Alright I want a nice clean fight gentlemen! Mayweather is gonna eat his heart out after this!
The ref blows his whistle and the boxing match of legends begins
Ippo opens by delivering a Liver Blow, but Rocky counters with a two punch uppercut combo. Ippo delivers several punches to Rocky's face, none of which he makes an attempt to block. Rocky delivers a powerful right hook to the side of Ippo's head, causing him to stumble a bit. Rocky then unleashes a barrage of punches to Ippo's face and stomach. Ippo falls over and the ref comes out
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4!
Ippo gets up and rushes towards Rocky, using his Gazelle Punch, which causes Rocky to stumble backwards, and fall over
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Rocky stands back up. He uses another two punch uppercut combo, but the uppercut is blocked and countered by Ippo, who uses the Liver Blow. Rocky tanks the attack like a champ and punches Ippo without mercy. He delivers an uppercut straight to his face.
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5!
Ippo stands and then uses his trademark Dempsey Roll, which knocks Rocky over once more
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Rocky shows no sign of getting up, but then Mickey shouts his iconic line..
Mickey: You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder!
Ref: 7! 8!
Rocky stands, and raises his fists. He switches out of the South Paw Stance, which throws off Ippo. This is bad for him, as Rocky begins to wail on him. Rocky punches Ippo in his stomach to the point where he coughing up blood
"I cant lose!" Ippo thought to himself. But it was in vain, as Rocky delivered one final uppercut that managed to end his life.
Wiz: Ippo is certainly a great boxer, and trumped Rocky in speed. However, while Ippo has enough endurance to stand up after nearly any beating, so can Rocky.
Boomstick: His Batshit crazy stamina gave him the win here, after all he took punches from Ivan Goddamn Drago!
Wiz: Drago was stated to be able to punch at around 1850 PSI. Punches like these would not only break a normal persons neck, but completely obliterate his skull. Rocky took several of these punches without any of this happening.
Boomstick: Keep in mind, Drago did KILL Apollo Creed in a previous match, so it's unlikely he would be holding back in the match against Rocky. I guess Ippo couldn't get over the Rocky road ahead of him.
Wiz: The winner is Rocky Balboa.