Mortal Kombat VS Marvel! Two nigh-unkillable anti-heroes step into the ring, but only one will step out! Who will win this battle of blades?
Wiz: You don't always have to rely on your fists in a fight. You can also use weapons, such as blades. And these two nigh-unkillable anti-heroes do just that.
Boomstick: Scorpion, the ninja spectre of Mortal Kombat...
Wiz: And Wolverine, the animal-themed anti-hero of the X-Men.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: The Shirai Ryu was a clan of Japanese credited with bringing ninjutsu and other secret martial arts to Japan from China. For years, they were bitter rivals with the Lin Kuei, from which they had originally sprung.
Boomstick: Hanzo Hasashi, which literally translated means "Full Scorpion Man" by the way, was born into the Shirai Ryu clan.
Wiz: Hanzo Hasashi was raised by the Shirai Ryu clan and one of their finest warriors, despite the fact that his father forbade him from ever joining the clan, but done so none the less to provide his wife and son a comfortable life.
Boomstick: Before he was the ninja spectre we all know and love, Scorpion was a master of Ninjutsu, Pi Gua, Hapkido, and Moi Fah.
Wiz: But Scorpion sticks to firing his signature kunai spear at the opponent to impale them and pull them in close.
Boomstick: But that's not the only blade weapon Scorpion can make use of. He can also use several weapons, like long swords, twin katanas and axes.
Wiz: Scorpion's life was then turned upside down when the necromancer Quan Chi, who was disguised as the Lin Kuei warrior Bi-Han, A.K.A Sub-Zero, murdered his entire clan and family. Seeking to get revenge, Scorpion tried to fight and kill Sub-Zero, but Sub-Zero proved to be the superior elemental warrior.
Boomstick: Next thing he knew, Scorpion found himself in the Netherrealm, but please call it Hell.
Wiz: After pledging royalty to Quan Chi, Scorpion was resurrected as a ninja spectre, and thus, his quest for vengeance began.
Boomstick: Scorpion now has the ability to teleport across the battlefield for sneak attacks. Scorpion can also fire explosive fireballs that can burn through opponents.
Wiz: And if that weren't enough, Scorpion is capable of creating portals in and out of the Netherrealm he was spawned from, literally dragging his opponents to Hell.
Boomstick: Then there's the fact that Scorpion's power is able to increase with no limits in the Netherrealm. And when he's done with his opponent, he finishes 'em off with a brutal Fatality.
Wiz: Scorpion can rip off his mask to reveal his true face and reduce the opponent to their skeleton and tear off the opponent's head with his kunai spear and rip the opponent's head off their body - spine included.
Boomstick: He can even transform into a, well, giant scorpion of course.
Wiz: ...Or an adorable penguin.
Boomstick: Wait, WHAT THE F**K?!
Wiz: Scorpion is a nigh-unstoppable fury-ridden ninja assassin. He has managed to defeat the likes of Kung Lao, Nightwolf, Cyrax, Sektor, and eventually avenged his death by incinerating Bi-Han in the Netherrealm.
Boomstick: But as it turns out, Sub-Zero was actually the innocent one. The actual murderer of the Shirai Ryu was Quan Chi.
Wiz: As penance, Scorpion dedicated himself to protecting Sub-Zero's younger brother... Sub-Zero.
Boomstick: Invincible as he may be, Scorpion has been bested and even killed by the younger Sub-Zero since then.
Wiz: Scorpion is also easily manipulated by Quan Chi. And he has also lost to the likes of Shujinko, Taven, Liu Kang, and Raiden.
Boomstick: He was also overpowered by Drahmin and Moloch and he never managed to pull off the power to defeat the dragon king Onaga.
Wiz: Still, the last thing one would want to do is get in this hellish ninja's way.
Scorpion: Blood for blood. Your debt is paid.
Wiz: The X-Men are mutants, a subspecies of humans who are born with superhuman abilities. The X-Men fight for peace and equality between normal humans and mutants in a world where antimutant bigotry is fierce and widespread.
Boomstick: Their leader is Charles Xavier, A.K.A Professor X, a powerful mutant telepath who can control and read minds.
Wiz: Their archenemy is Magneto, a powerful mutant with the ability to generate and control magnetic fields. Professor X and Magneto have opposing views and philosophies regarding the relationship between mutants and humans. While Professor X works towards peace and understanding between mutants and humans, Magneto views humans as a threat and believes in taking an aggressive approach against them, though he has found himself working alongside the X-Men from time to time.
Boomstick: One of the members of the X-Men has to be the most badass man in the world: the Wolverine.
Wiz: But before Wolverine became what he is now, he was James Howlett, a normal kid who was born in Cold Lake, Alberta, Canada, during the late 1880s, purportedly to rich farm owners John and Elizabeth Howlett though he was actually the illegitimate son of the Howletts' groundskeeper, Thomas Logan.
Boomstick: But let me just say that he was the wimpiest kid ever. He was tiny, pathetic and sick all the time.
Wiz: But James wasn't stuck in bed for too long. As he got older, he started to develop strange mutant powers, such as rapid healing and animal senses.
Boomstick: When Thomas Logan murdered James' father, that's when the little kid discovered he had retractable bone claws in the back of his hands.
Wiz: After he was stabbed to death by James, Thomas quipped the oh so original plot twist: I'm your father.
Boomstick: Now faced with zero dads, James took on the name "Logan" (Which is a really poor way to disguise one's identity if you ask me), ran away from home and forgot about everything that happened. No, really, he seriously just forgot about it all. You'd think that finding out he had retractable bone claws and killing a dude would scar him for life.
Wiz: Thanks to the fact that his healing factor slowed his aging, Logan was actually able to live for 100 years. He has fought in both World Wars and Vietnam before joining a special weapons project known as Weapon X.
Boomstick: And this is where he became... Wolverine.
Wiz: Like any other super soldier project, Wolverine got his body cut into over and over, having his DNA harvested and his skeleton infused with Adamantium, a rare, man-made metal alloy.
Boomstick: Adamantium is rare, expensive, difficult to create and so dense on a molecular level that it is almost impossible to break. Even the Hulk finds it hard to break it, you know, the guy who can destroy asteroids twice the size of Earth?
Wiz: Someone also hypnotized Wolverine to erase his memories and turn him into an animalistic killing machine. However, this backfired, because then Wolverine slaughtered everyone at Weapon X.
Boomstick: But hey, still gotta give 'em credit for making this guy into the ultimate weapon! Good job, everybody!
Wiz: After wandering the wilderness and battling the Hulk, Wolverine eventually discovered the X-Men, who would mold him into a real hero.
Boomstick: Wolverine had finally found a place to call home... and a family he did not stab to death.
Wiz: Speaking of stabbing things to death, Wolverine's claws can cut through almost anything. And thanks to his regenerative healing factor and nigh-unbreakable skeleton, killing Wolverine is a feat that's nearly impossible.
Boomstick: You would have to be seriously lucky to figure out that Wolverine's healing factor stems from his brain. But seeing as how his brain is protected by a nigh-invincible helmet, it's probably staying where it is.
Wiz: Wolverine is also immune to disease and is capable of resisting mind control. He also possesses keen animal like senses and expert tracking skills and move faster than the eye can see.
Boomstick: He can even sense animals' feelings and talk to them for some reason.
Wiz: Wolverine also possesses enough strength to lift 2 tons. He has also mastered 15 martial arts and is able to keep up with the likes of Black Panther and Iron Fist.
Boomstick: And should you piss him off too much, Wolverine with enter the Berserker Rage state.
Wiz: When he is in this state, Wolverine loses all self-control and lashes out with the intensity and aggression of a raged animal.
Boomstick: It's bad enough that Wolverine already has a bit of temper.
Wolverine cuts off the top of Cyclops' car in rage.
Wolverine: Tell Cyclops I made him a convertible.
Wiz: Wolverine makes up for his hot-headedness by being a truly deadly X-Man. He's battled Omega Red for over 17 hours, fought stronger beings like Hulk and Thor and even tangled with the likes of Satan himself.
Boomstick: Wolverine's greatest advantage is his insane durability. He has regenerated from near-complete disintegration, tanked blows from the Hulkbuster and even had his soul ripped out. Yes, that did happen.
Wiz: Wolverine has matched Captain America in hand-to-hand combat, stabbed Thanos and Gladiator and even tagged Speed Demon, who can ran at FTL speeds.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, Wolverine's healing factor can by nullified by Carbonadium.
Wiz: There are also two other ways to kill Wolverine, by either drowning or completely disintegrating him, and I mean COMPLETELY.
Boomstick: And as I said, Wolverine's kind of a hot-head.
Wiz: Wolverine's heightened senses can sometimes leave him vulnerable. And as pointed out by Magneto, Wolverine is vulnerable to magnetism.
Boomstick: Wolverine has also lost to the likes of Daredevil, Gambit, Cyclops, and Spider-Man.
Wiz: While he is far from the most powerful character the Marvel universe has to offer, Wolverine is still a force to be reckoned with.
Wolverine: I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do best isn't very nice...
Scorpion glared daggers at the man standing in front of him.
Sub-Zero glared back with equal ferocity.
Sub-Zero: You falsely accuse me.
Scorpion: Lying will not save you.
Sub-Zero: So that's how it's going to be?
Scorpion: That is how it must be.
Suddenly, Sub-Zero was stabbed in the back. Sub-Zero collapsed as his attacker stood above his body. It was a muscular man wearing a yellow-and-black suit. He had three metallic claws emerging from both of his hands, and wore a face that could only be summed up with "I'm gonna kill you, bub!". This man was the very best at what he did, Wolverine.
Scorpion: Out of my way!
Wolverine: Fat chance, bub. You're next!
Scorpion: GET OVER HERE!
Scorpion instantly fired a kunai spear at Wolverine. However, the spear failed to impale Wolverine's skull and it fell to the ground.
As the wound on Wolverine's forehead regenerated, Scorpion pulled out a katana, raced toward Wolverine and attempted to decapitate him with it. However, the blade only made Wolverine wince a little at it collided with his Adamantium-coated neck bone.
Scorpion: Why won't you DIE?!
Wolverine: Well, my bones are coated with the strongest metal around, bub.
Scorpion: Stop calling me that!
Getting infuriated, Scorpion teleported behind Wolverine and delivered a strong punch to the back of his opponent's head. Just at Wolverine turned around, Scorpion punched him in the stomach and face before slashing his chest with his katana. Wolverine retaliated by delivering a large stab to Scorpion as his wound regenerated. Wolverine tried to finish the fight (Thumbs up if you get the reference) by impaling Scorpion's skull, but Scorpion was lucky to have enough time to teleport. Scorpion then charged a fireball and fired it at Wolverine. His skin was obliterated instantly, but his skull was perfectly fine. And if that weren't enough, Wolverine quickly regenerated.
Scorpion: What sorcery is this?!
Wolverine: Healing factor, bub.
Scorpion: I told you not to call me BUB!
Now really pissed, Scorpion teleported in front of Wolverine and proceeded to punch, slash, uppercut, headbutt, and beat the crap out of Wolverine. By the time Scorpion stopped, Wolverine was laying on his back, breathing heavily. Scorpion walked up to him and stood above him.
Scorpion: You will join me in Hell!
He then grabbed Wolverine and lifted him up. And in an instant, both of them vanished.
Before they knew it, both Scorpion and Wolverine found themselves in the Netherrealm.
Wolverine: Where did you take me, fiery?!
Scorpion: We are in the Netherrealm. Here, I become omnipotent. Here, you will finally DIE!
Before Wolverine could respond, Scorpion teleported behind him and slashed his back twice before teleporting in front of him and uppercutting him. Just as Wolverine recovered, Scorpion sliced his stomach open with his katana, spilling his intestines out. Scorpion then punched Wolverine with enough force to send him back. By that time, Wolverine's injury had just regenerated.
Wolverine: Surely you must have learned now.
Scorpion then delivered a savage uppercut to Wolverine's lower jaw.
Scorpion: I shall finish you!
Scorpion removed his mask, revealing his true face: A flaming skull. Before Wolverine could react, Scorpion let loose with a blast of fire, reducing Wolverine to his skeleton in seconds.
Scorpion turned his back on his seemingly dead opponent. He had won...
Or had he?
???: Now you've got me mad, bub.
Scorpion spun around to receive a stab to the stomach from Wolverine, who had entered the Berserker Rage. Wolverine then slashed Scorpion's chest before stabbing him in the throat. Once Wolverine pulled his claws out of Scorpion's throat, blood sprayed out of the wound. As Scorpion covered the wound to stop the bleeding, Wolverine instantly cut right through Scorpion's right arm - cutting it right off, bone and all. Wolverine then cut off Scorpion's other arm, leaving Scorpion defenseless. Wolverine stabbed both of Scorpion's lungs with his claws before tearing out the lungs, throwing them into the air and slicing them to ribbons before they could land on the ground. Wolverine then punched Scorpion with enough force to knock him down. Wolverine stood over him, got on his knees and proceeded to gouge out Scorpion's eyes with his claws. He then forcefully tore out Scorpion's brain and smashed it in his hands like D'Vorah did when she killed Baraka. Wolverine then stood up, rolled Scorpion onto his stomach and ripped his head off - spinal cord included. Wolverine threw both head and spinal cord in the lava before examining his dead opponent. Wolverine picked up Scorpion's body and threw it into the lava.
Wolverine: Who just got fatalitied now?
Boomstick: GET OVER HERE, SCORPION FANBOYS!
Wiz: Scorpion and Wolverine are both notorious for being nigh-unkillable, but it became clear who the true winner was after looking at their stats.
Boomstick: Scorpion was already powerful enough, but in the Netherrealm, it became even more difficult for Wolverine to land a killing blow. However, that still prolonged the inevitable.
Wiz: Scorpion did not understand that Wolverine's healing factor was linked to his brain and would not think of destroying it. Even if he did figure it out, he wouldn't even come close to chipping Wolverine's Adamantium skeleton.
Boomstick: Scorpion's teleportation abilities would give Scorpion an edge, don't get us wrong, (not to mention it would probably get on Wolvie's nerves) but Wolverine's superhuman senses counter Scorpion's stealth attacks.
Wiz: Killing Scorpion in the Netherrealm is nigh-impossible, but there's really no way Scorpion could put Wolverine down for good. Aside from having a skeleton that is nearly impossible to break, Wolverine has regenerated from being reduced to his skeleton and even a drop of blood.
Boomstick: Wolverine's healing factor also seriously slowed his aging, which allowed him to live over 100 years, so therefore, his combat experience trumped Scorpion's.
Wiz: And Scorpion's durability doesn't even compare to Wolverine's. Both have better durability than a normal man, but only Wolverine was able to survive blows from Hulk, Thor, the Hulkbuster, and even nukes and selling his soul.
Boomstick: While Scorpion has managed to fight sorcerers, cyborgs and more, Wolverine was able to fight dudes like Hulk, Captain America, Iron Fist, and other guys leagues above Scorpion's abilities.
Wiz: And even though his animal-like nature would convince you otherwise, Wolverine actually had the superior tactical mind. And thanks to the fact that Wolverine could easily kill Scorpion before they even ended up in the Netherrealm, this was really a fight for Wolverine to win from the beginning.
Boomstick: Scorpion just wasn't hot enough for Wolverine to handle.Wiz: The winner is Wolverine.