Marvel vs DC! The female version of Superman vs Hulk!! Who will win?
Wiz: Fans have always been pitting Superman against the Incredible Hulk.
Boomstick: For some strange reason...
Wiz: But what if we took a look at a more... feminine point of vue?
Boomstick: YEAH! Like She-Hulk!
Wiz: And Supergirl.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skill to know who would win... a Death Battle.
WIz: Ms Jennifer Walters, started out as an attorney, and a good one at that.
Boomstick: I mean, she beat Matt fucking Mardock in court, and defended succesfully her universe in front of the Living Tribunal, you know the ultimate judge!!!
Wiz: One day, she got shot and needed a blood transfusion. Luckily, her cousin Bruce Banner was around and provided a sample of his infected blood.
Boomstick: And that's how she became She-Hulk. SImple as that.
Wiz: WIth this transformation, she has been given powers similar to the Hulk, aka super strength, durability, etc...
Boomstick: While concentrating enough, she can even swap bodies with another person!!! Thus having all the powers and stuff the other person has. Dayum.
Wiz: With her amazing strength, she was able to arm-wrestle Hercules and be so much stronger she let her win, just so the lad dont get humiliated.
Boomstick: And Herc already proved before hand arm-wrestling with him can prove enough to knock the planet out of orbit. Something related with pressure or something like that.
Wiz: One other time, she pretty humiliated the Thing by lifting his maximum with one hand and feel as if she had nothing on her hands. If that's not a stomp, then i dont know what is.
Boomstick: That doesnt stop there. When she wasnt at her peak yet, she was able to trade blows with World War Hulk, and beat the hell out of Thor!!! For once comics provide us with some cool feats.
Wiz: As for durability, she can tank easily blows from Sentry, Namor,...
Boomstick: AAAAAND makes out with Hercules and Juggernaut. Like literally sharing the same bed, with their OP powers and all. That's my girl.
Boomstick: Dont be a pussy, Wiz. Admit it, you like it.
SHe-Hulk: I never wanted this to happen, but now you have to learn the other part of being a Hulk. The part where the people you fight to protect sometimes fear and hate you. And it's the hardest part because sometimes to protect what you love, you have to walk away from it.
Wiz: Kara Zor-El is a Kryptonian member of the House of El, cousin to Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman.
Boomstick: She escape just in time from the explosion of Krypton, just like our good old Supes, but her pod didn't land directly on Earth.
Wiz: Indeed, it first orbited the Earth's sun for many years, to the point that between her hibernation on Krypton, and her waking up on Earth, something like 20 years had passed.
Boomstick: While she though only 3 days had passed. When Superman came to help her, she punched him through the gut. Nice girl.
Wiz: She had her reasons though. As she only thought 3 days had passed, she though Kal-El was still a small baby, unlike the full-grown man standing before her with her family's crest.
Boomstick: And she started her life as Supergirl, a most often out-of-control powerhouse able to trade blows with Superman himself.
Wiz: She is able to easily defeat Cyborg Superman, who has been quoted to have flown through exploding supernovas.
Boomstick: And considering how much energy these bad boys pack, I would want to be at the place of the one she opposes.
Wiz: She is fast enough to keep up with a Flash who was merely holding back-just enough to not hurt her.
Boomstick: She took poundings from a Superman Clone and still lived to tell the tale while being seemingly unharmed. Seriously, I don't want to be at the place of the one who faces her.
Kara Zor-El: Ever since I woke up on Earth, I can't catch a break. Why should I expect this to be any different?
Setting in Metropolis. Supergirl is watching over the city, when suddenly she hears something unusual. A sound of, however controlled, rage. Feeling how similar to her case it is, she decides to investigate it. When she lands in front of the source, she discovers a green-skinned woman minding her own business.
Supergirl: Who are you?
She-Hulk: What about you? Shouldn't you introduce yourself first?
Supergirl: Tell me your name!
She-Hulk: How rude.
Angered, Supergirl punched She-Hulk.
She-Hulk: oh, that's what's it's going to be? Fine then.
She-Hulk replicated with a punch of her own, sending Supergirl flying. She got up, and flied at She-Hulk, sending both her fist in her stomach. It was She-Hulk's turn to be sent flying. When she got out of the rubble, she saw Supergirl hovering above her.
Supergirl: You can't win this.
She-Hulk: You think I can't reach you up there?
She-Hulk jumped, attaining a surprised Supergirl, and punched her in the face. With a shockwave, Supergirl went far away.
Supergirl: O.K. That is it. You asked for it, now you have it.
With a raging scream, she let herself delve into her anger, and blitzed her way at She-Hulk. Before the latter even realised what was happening to her, she got kicked at the other side of the continent. She got back up, coughing blood.
She-Hulk: I need.. To find a pattern... try exchange bodies with her...
She hadn't had time to finish another consecutive blow came in, sending her even further away.
She-Hulk: Only brute force... no technique...
In a miraculous reflex, she managed to avoid the next blow, too predictable.
She-Hulk: I... need to concentrate.
She tried to focus, but to no avail. Supergirl came back even angrier than before, and punched her through several hundred kilometres of earth. She-Hulk was barely standing, heavily breathing. Supergirl came to her, looking at her with her anger showing on her face.
Supergirl grabbed She-Hulk by the neck, before snapping it.
Boomstick: It's always great to see two chicks fight to the death.
Wiz: This fight was closer than one might think. She-Hulk DID have some advantages on Supergirl, that being her intelligence, and their closely matched strength.
Boomstick: However, there was no way She-Hulk could keep up with the Supergirl, seeing as Kara is in the Kryptonian range of power, to be able to keep up with the Flash.
Wiz: She-Hulk's only hope was to transpose bodies with Supergirl. However, the latter didn't have the patience or the temper to let her do what she pleases.
Boomstick: In the end, She-Hulk got Kryptowned.
Wiz: The winner is Supergirl.