Description[]
"DC versus Digimon! Which powerful, heroic plant will uproot the competition?"
NOTE: This battle will use a composite Palmon. Palmon will be accompanied by Mimi as she was in Digimon Adventures, and her personality will remain the same, but she will also be given abilities and feats from Cyber Sleuths.
Introduction[]
Spider: Plants are rarely considered exciting organisms.
Pixie: Unless you’re a botanist or a marijuana addict, obviously.
Spider: Though they usually move so slowly that they hardly seem alive at all, plants make up a massive life-force, one that our ecosystem could not exist without.
Pixie: So when a hero wields the power of plants, they can end up being powerful enough to shake the world. Like Swamp Thing, the Avatar of the Green.
Spider: And Palmon, Mimi Tachikawa’s digital companion. I’m Spider.
Pixie: And I’m Pixie!
Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Swamp Thing[]
Spider: Alec Holland was an idealistic scientist who sought to end world hunger. Along with his wife Linda, he invented a powerful fertilizing agent called the Bio-Restorative Formula. This chemical would make barren land suitable for agriculture, and would also accelerate the growth rate of plants.
Pixie: Wait a sec, Spider, I think I’m getting a premonition. Comic book scientist… mysterious new chemical… there wasn’t some kind of a lab accident where he ended up getting drenched in that stuff and got super-powers, wasn’t there?
Spider: Quite perceptive, Pixie. Alec and Linda were approached by a criminal organization called the Conclave, who demanded they turn over the Bio-Restorative Formula. Alec and Linda refused, but the price for their defiance would be disastrous. While working in a secluded laboratory in a Lousiana marsh, Alec was ambushed by the Conclave’s thugs and beat to the point of unconsciousness. As he woke, a bomb the thugs had planted exploded. Drenched in his own Bio-Restorative Formula and ignited by the explosion, Alec ran blindly outside, fell into the marsh and died. But Alec’s death proved to be only the beginning.
Pixie: Alec’s formula soaked into the swamp’s plants, and through a combination of comic-book science and magic, the plants absorbed Alec’s consciousness and soul. Alec was thus reborn as the avenging plant-monster called the Swamp Thing.
Spider: Alec would become more than merely a ghost in a body made of plants. He would eventually become the champion of the Green, a sort of sub-space realm encompassing the force of all plant-life in the multiverse. Eventually, Swamp Thing merged with the Green, becoming both its Avatar and its master.
Pixie: Swamp Thing’s power is nothing to mess with. The guy has straight-up out-muscled Superman. Yeah, the guy who can tow planets around and lift a book with infinite pages.
Spider: Normally we avoid using power-scaling, but Swamp Thing consistently shows this level of power. He has held his own against Wonderwoman and Aquaman, who along with Superman are millions of times faster than light and are more than capable of destroying a planet.
Pixie: It gets better. Swamp Thing has accomplished something that virtually no one in all of comics has managed. He has defeated Batman… TWICE. And the second time, Batman had prep time! Not even the guy who managed to take out the entire Justice League single-handed was a match for Swampy. Swamp Thing has also survived a hit from the Anti-Monitor, an entity that literally eats universes for breakfast.
Spider: It’s also worth mentioning that according to the Monitor, Swamp Thing’s power is on the same level as the Spectre, who is the physical manifestation of God’s wrath and has reality-warping bordering on omnipotence.
Pixie: And before you give us any of that “Oh, character estimations of each other’s power aren’t reliable sources!” stuff, remember that the Monitor is literally a stand-in for DC comics’ editors. Doesn’t get much more credible than that.
Spider: In addition to his raw strength, durability and reflexes, Swamp Thing has a variety of supernatural powers. He can control the growth of plants, causing lush forests to grow in the middle of cities in mere seconds. This also extends to many forms of fungus, and to the intestinal flora living inside people’s digestive tracts.
Pixie: Meaning that he can make plants grow inside a person until they explode like a meat-balloon. Good thing this guy’s a hero, huh?
Spider: After becoming an elemental, Swamp Thing gained complete mastery over the four classical elements, Fire, Water, Earth and Air.
Pixie: Now all he needs is Heart and a pair of hot-pink shoulder-pads, and he’s basically Captain Planet. Alec Holland, he’s our hero, gonna bring pollution down to zero!
Spider: By moving through the Green, Swamp Thing can manifest anywhere there is plant life, granting him virtual omnipresence. He is almost completely immune to telepathic control, and can travel between dimensional planes at will.
Pixie: Jeez, this guy is seriously broken.
Spider: Well, while Swamp Thing is a physical god, he’s not a true omnipotent. His body can be destroyed, although his regeneration is so rapid he can form a new body at will almost instantly. While intelligent, Swamp Thing can be outwitted or manipulated.
Pixie: As seen the several dozen times that John Constantine essentially turned him into John’s big, green errand boy.
Spider: Also, Swamp Thing is, by his nature, inextricably tied to the Green, so it’s probable that destroying the Green would kill Swamp Thing as well.
Pixie: If you screw with nature or anyone he loves, you can bet your ass that Swamp Thing will track you down, and when he does, he will end you.
[Comic Panel from Swamp Thing.]
Swamp Thing: Warning… me…? YOU… are warning… ME…? Do you warn… the hurricane? Do you warn… the earthquake? You have taken… that which I love… away from me… I have come to reclaim it.
Palmon[]
Spider: Mimi Tachikawa was raised a pampered child by rich, loving parents. She seldom displayed much courage or strength, and she was seldom asked to, but all that changed during a fateful stay at a summer camp with her friends.
Pixie: They enjoyed the usual summer-time activities, like swimming, canoeing, and being sucked into a digital universe by a bunch of abandoned Tamagotchi look-alikes called Digivices.
Spider: Mimi found the Digital World filled with sentient creatures called Digimon, and while most of the Digimon were friendly, many of them had been corrupted by strange, seemingly mechanical objects called Dark Gears, turning them into violent monsters.
Pixie: Thankfully, Mimi and the rest of the kids managed to befriend some good Digimon, becoming their partners. Mimi’s Digimon was Palmon, the Plant Digimon. Quite a coincidence that the girliest member of the team got the pet monster with a big pink flower on its head, huh?
Spider: Though Mimi initially longed only to go home, she soon learned to face danger alongside her friends, and especially alongside Palmon. She would go to discover that she was one of the Digidestined, fated to save the Digital World from the villainous Myotismon, as well as plenty of other digital fiends.
Pixie: In Palmon’s base form she can use the Poison Ivy attack, extending vines from her hands to grab and ensnare foes. Bet she rules at tickle-fights. She’s also got… uh… yeah that’s pretty much it.
Spider: While Palmon is not particularly powerful in her base form, her connection to Mimi gives her the ability to Digivolve into several, progressively more powerful forms.
Pixie: By Digivolving to Champion Level, she becomes Togemon, a giant cactus with boxing gloves. In this form, she can use the Needle Spray attack to shoot deadly spines like machine-gun bullets, or clobber foes with her Light Speed Jabs. Those are a series of jabs that move at the speed of light, in case you were curious about the name.
Spider: It should go without saying that Togemon is much stronger than Palmon. She was even capable of defeating an Ultimate Level Digimon, Monzaemon.
Pixie: Ultimate Level?
Spider: Yeah, we’re getting there. After Mimi obtained the Crest of Purity, Palmon gained access to her Ultimate Level Form, Lilymon, which is far more powerful than Togemon.
Pixie: So she went from being a big, pissed-off cactus to being a cute fairy in a flower tutu, and that somehow upped her power? Okay, sure. I’ll roll with that.
Spider: As Lilymon, she can use the Flower Cannon, a powerful beam of energy, or binds foes with her Flower Wreath. Later on, Mimi discovered Palmon’s final Digivolution: Rosemon.
Pixie: Wait a sec. You just said that Lilymon was Palmon’s Ultimate Form.
Spider: Yes.
Pixie: Ultimate means final. It’s not very ultimate if there’s another one after it, is there?
Spider [shrugs]: I blame the English dubbers for assuming that children are illiterate.
Pixie [giggling]: Oh, Spider. You filthy, filthy weeaboo, you!
Spider: A dramatic step up in power from her previous form, Rosemon is capable of directly taking on planet-destroying foes like Imperialdramon.
Pixie: She wields the Taming Whip, a, thorny, electrically charged attack that enslaves her opponent’s body and soul… wait, are you sure this is from a kid’s show? Because there is literally no way to make a woman enslaving a person by whipping them not seem horribly dirty.
Spider: I’d… like to offer some kind of rebuttal to that, but Rosemon’s next attack isn’t hurting your case.
Pixie: What’s it called?
Spider [groaning]: Forbidden Temptation. It involves Rosemon getting naked in a rather Magical Girl-esque light-show.
Pixie [grinning evilly]: Well, I’m sure that gave a plenty of pubescent boys some interesting… sensations.
Spider: She’s also got Rose Spear, where she causes her whip to… stiffen… forming a sword.
Pixie: Heh. Heh-heh. Heh.
Spider: Rosemon also has the Rosy Cradle attack, where she uses rose-petals to put her opponents to sleep.
Pixie: Good thing there’s nothing sexually suggestive about a bed filled with rose-petals, huh?
Spider [annoyed]: Oh, grow up.
Pixie: Palmon has one more form, making for a total of… um… I kind of lost track. How many forms have we gone through again?
Spider: Palmon’s fifth and most powerful form is Rosemon Burst Mode. In Burst Mode, Rosemon and other Digimon like her have been able to overcome Digimon who were powerful enough to destroy the entire universe of the Digital World. While in Burst Mode, Rosemon gains access to the Kiss of Breath and Jewel of Heart techniques, both of which allows her to fire powerful lasers.
Pixie: Palmon seems to have a lot more going for her than the average plant.
Spider: She does have her limitations. Burst Mode is only temporary, so she can’t stay maintain universe-shattering levels of power for long. In addition, all of Palmon’s Digivolutions are dependent on her friendship with Mimi. Usually, these power-ups are triggered by her desire to protect Mimi, but if Palmon were to be separated from Mimi, she would no longer be able to Digivolve.
Pixie: Palmon and Mimi may look girly, but they’re one pink-clad duo you don’t want to underestimate.
[Clip from Digimon: Adventures shows Mimi and Palmon pulling down their eyelids and sticking out their tongues.]
Mimi and Palmon: Nyeeeh!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Spider: Alright, our combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.
Pixie: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
* * *
In the middle of a bustling city, a squad of para-military officers are attacking Swamp Thing. Bullets pour into the Swamp God’s body, and he utters a roar of fury. At his command, vines erupt through the asphalt, grab the gun-men and swing them about like rag-dolls, knocking them senseless. At the far end of the street, Mimi and Palmon watch in horror.
“Oh no,” Mimi gasps. “That Digimon has gone berserk! We have to stop him before he hurts any more people.”
Palmon nods. “Let’s get ’em, Mimi!”
Swamp Thing pauses in his attack as he spots a young girl in a large, pink hat run towards him. She appears to be accompanied by a small plant elemental not unlike himself.
“Hey!” Mimi shouts, glaring at Swamp Thing. “Put those people down right this instant.”
Swamp Thing crosses his arms. “This is not… your business… human. Children… should not mettle.. in the affairs… of gods.”
Palmon growls and holds up her claws. “You’d better clean the algae out of your ears, Swamp Breath. We’re not going to let you get away with hurting people. Let them go or we’re gonna kick your slimy butt!”
Swamp Thing scowls and released the gun-men, who immediately flee. “You wish for combat? Fine… I will humor you.”
FIGHT!
Palmon immediately leaps forward to attack. “Poison Ivy!” the Digimon shouts.
A series of vines stretch out of Palmon’s claws and wrap around Swamp Thing’s throat. Swamp Thing stands his ground, looking grumpy while Palmon pulls on him furiously, failing to budge him an inch. After a few seconds, Swamp Thing grabs the vines, pulls them off, then uses them to swing Palmon over his head and slam her head-first into the asphalt. Palmon gives a weak groan while Mimi looks in horror.
“Palmon!”
Swamp Thing clenches his fist. “Put an end… to this charade. You test… the patience… of the Swamp God.”
Palmon shakes her head and stands up. “This guy is really tough. We’re going to need more power, Mimi.”
Mimi nods and holds her Digivice aloft as it begins to shine. Palmon gleams as her body begin to change shape.
“Palmon Digivolve to… Togemon!” Togemon emerges and thumps her fists together.
Swamp Thing cocks his head. “You possess… shape-shifting… and yet you choose… a ridiculous form.”
“You’re gonna regret that one, buddy. How about a taste of my Needle Spray!?”
Togemon whirls like a top, spraying needles everywhere, but Swamp Thing blocks the attack by forming a wooden barrier. Togemon smashes through the barrier with a single-punch and unleashes her Light Speed Jabs. Swamp Thing’s hands flash back and forth as he blocks every punch, then back-hands Togemon in the face, sending her reeling.
Mimi shakes her head. “Still not strong enough… it’s time for Lilymon!”
Mimi Digivice flashes once again, as does the tag on her neck, and Togemon’s body begins to shift. “Togemon Digivolve to… Lilymon!”
Lilymon flies into the air and fires her Flower Cannon at Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing uses his Earth Elemental powers to summon a massive wall of stone, deflecting the attack, then launches the stone at Lilymon. The Digimon tumbles out of the path of the stone, then swiftly flits around Swamp Thing, wrapping him up with her Flower Wreath Attack. With a cry of fury, Swamp Thing uses his Fire Elemental powers, incinerating Lilymon’s flowers. An immense wave of flame shoots out of the swamp god’s hands, charring Lilymon’s body and knocking her out of the sky. Before she can take flight again, Swamp Thing grows vines out of his hands and grabs Lilymon’s ankles. He slams her into the ground, back and forth, six times, then hurls her through a nearby building, demolishing it.
Mimi winces. “Lilymon!”
Lilymon emerges, smiling despite her injuries. “We’re not finished yet, Mimi. We’ve still got time for one more Digivolution! Lilymon, Digivolve to… Rosemon!”
Rosemon appears in a flash of light and menacingly cracks her whip.
“So many… transformations,” Swamp Thing sighs. “Do you believe… that this form… will prove my equal?”
Rosemon smirks. “Believe me, I am far beyond your equal. Rose Spear!”
Rosemon suddenly flies towards Swamp Thing and impales him with her Rose Spear attack. She kicks him off the end of her sword and spins around as her body shines with pink light.
“Forbidden Temptation!” she shouts.
The blast rushes over Swamp Thing’s body, searing him and filling the air with the scent of burnt vegetation, but he immediately begins to regenerate. Rosemon suddenly lashes him with her whip, jarring his body with electricity.
“Taming Whip! You belong to me, now. Your mistress commands you to stop fighting at once.”
Swamp Thing glares up at Rosemon, his eyes gleaming red with fury, his body smoking from the effects of the electrical current. “You would enslave… me?”
Rosemon tries to use her Rosy Cradle attack to put Swamp Thing to sleep, but Swamp Thing completely ignores the attack, blasts Rosemon in the face with a gale-force wind, blinding her, then stretches into the air and brings his fist down on Rosemon’s head, slamming her into the ground. “You would… enslave… a god?”
Swamp Thing leaps through the green and sprouts a new body behind Rosemon, then punches her in the back of the head, knocking her face-first into the pavement. “You are a gnat… biting my skin.”
Swamp Thing manifests a new body in front of Rosemon and hits her again, then appears at her left side, then at her right, making rapid-fire leaps through the Green and pummeling her from all angles. “You are a worm…” he says, continuing to pound on her skull, “chewing at my roots. You are an aphid… tearing… at my leaves. You… are an insolent… pest… putting leashes on a god… and expecting it… to follow… your lead. I ANSWER… TO NOTHING … BUT THE GREEN!”
Suddenly, Rosemon’s skin shines with a pale, purple light, and she catches Swamp Thing’s fist. Swamp Thing looks down, baffled, as Rosemon enters Burst Mode. A rush of gleaming energy hurls Swamp Thing backwards, away from Rosemon. Rosemon smiles and holds up her thorny sword as it shines with power. Swamp Thing rushes towards her and throws a punch, but Rosemon parries the strike. A green fist rushes towards Rosemon’s head, but she blocks it and slashes at Swamp Thing’s face. Swamp Thing raises and arm to defend himself, but Rosemon keeps up her attack, tearing into him with a flurry of slashes and driving him backwards. With the Swamp God staggering, Rosemon puts her hand to her lips and readies her final attack.
“Kiss of Breath!”
As Rosemon blows the kiss, an immense laser erupts from her mouth, completely vaporizing Swamp Thing’s body.
Mimi emerges from behind some cover. “Way to go, Rosemon!” she shouts, beaming. “I knew you could do it.”
Burst Mode ends, and Rosemon turns around, smiling. “You shouldn’t have doubted me for an instant, Mimi. Now let’s go home.”
K.—
Rosemon coughs. She bends over, hacking and wheezing, and suddenly, a tangle of green vines erupts from her mouth. The Digimon gags, tearing furiously at the tendrils with her hands as they continue streaming out of her mouth and her nose, suffocating her. Her body begins twitching and thrashing in mid-air as vines enter her brain cavity, burrowing into her neurons, growing, pressing against her brain tissue. Finally, Swamp Thing emerges, rising victorious as he explodes out from the inside of Rosemon’s skull, destroying her head.
O!
Swamp Things steps away, freeing himself from Rosemon’s remains. Mimi drops to her knees, her eyes watering, staring at her friend’s mangled corpse.
“Palmon…” she sobs, her jaw trembling. “PALMON!”
Mimi buries her face in her hands, bawling hysterically as Rosemon’s body slowly fades, reverting to a Digi-egg. Swamp Thing pauses, uneasy, and glances down at the weeping girl.
He passes a hand over the Digi-egg. “I am a god of life…” he rumbles. “Not one of death... Where even a seed remains… life can flourish.”
The Digi-egg glows and hums in response to Swamp Thing’s power. Suddenly, it hatches, Palmon grows out of the egg, completely unharmed. Mimi looks down at Palmon, confused, and wipes her eyes.
“You… brought her back? But… why?”
Swamp Thing grows a large, pink flower out of his hand, then plucks it and presents it to Mimi. “I too… have ones… I love. Remember… my mercy… leave me in peace.”
Mimi takes the flower, and watches, astonished, as Swamp Thing turns away and vanishes into the Green. After a moment, she grabs Palmon, sobbing tears of joy and relief.
Post Battle Analysis[]
Pixie [sniffing]: So beautiful… wait a sec. Did a female character just lose? Did a female character who is also an anime character just lose to somebody who is neither of those!? Who the hell are you and what have you done with Spider!?
Spider: Well technically Swamp Thing’s a gob of plants and Palmon’s a computer program, so they’re both genderless, but—
Pixie: Cram the excuses and make with the reasoning, Suzy Home-maker, or I’m revoking your Weeaboo Card.
Spider: Right… well, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Palmon’s base form had absolutely no chance of seriously hurting Swamp Thing. Togemon and Lilymon still couldn’t match the swamp god, and if Swamp Thing had at any point chosen to kill Mimi before Rosemon’s appearance, Palmon would have been cut off from her higher level Digivolutions, and the fight would have essentially been as good as over.
Pixie: Obviously, nobody here wanted to see a physical god murder a twelve-year-old human girl. So, the fight didn’t really start until Rosemon came into play. Then what?
Spider: Swamp Thing and Rosemon Burst Mode are fairly even, since both of them are capable of clashing with god-like forces that can end universes. Ultimately, this fight was a question of hax against hax, and while Rosemon had plenty of hax techniques, most of them simply weren’t built to work on Swamp Thing.
Pixie: What do you mean?
Spider: Well, the Rosy Cradle is meant to put foes to sleep, but Swamp Thing… doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t even have the necessary biology to sleep, so it’s unlikely such an attack would have even affect him.
Pixie: Oh, and I suppose next you’re going to tell me that Swamp Thing could shrug off having his soul enslaved by the Taming Whip.
Spider: …Yeah, actually.
Pixie: WHAT THE FUCK!?
Spider: In an issue of Hellblazer, Swamp Thing traveled to Hell. During the fight, Swamp Thing’s soul (more accurately, Alec Holland’s) was ripped from his being and cast aside, and while this ejected Swamp Thing from Hell, it didn’t harm him in the slightest. Yes, it made him less compassionate and humane until his soul was restored, but he said himself that the soul was something that, as a god, he no longer needed.
Pixie: Jesus, this guy is starting to make Superman look underpowered.
Spider: In the end, Palmon simply didn’t have the means to kill Swamp Thing. The only way Palmon could have put Swamp Thing down for good would have been to destroy the Green, and that was utterly impossible. Even if Palmon had been able to destroy every speck of plant life in the multiverse, there would be one plant left: Palmon.
Pixie: Huh… and since Swamp Thing has complete control over plants—
Spider: Right. Swamp Thing could have easily taken over Palmon’s body at any time, contorting and destroying it at a whim. While Burst Mode let Rosemon keep up with Swamp Thing, it was only temporary, and Swamp Thing was easily able to regenerate from the damage done once Burst Mode wore off, up to and including complete physical annihilation.
Pixie: I guess Palmon simply couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
Spider: The winner is Swamp Thing.