A wish came true... A dream became a reality...
This is set to become an actual Death Battle. Check out the Death Battle Wiki's page for it here.
The Joker vs. Sweet Tooth is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
DC Comics vs Twisted Metal! In this battle of the psychotic killer clowns, which one will win?! Will Joker wind up in Sweet Tooth's ice box?
Wiz: Insanity and clowns often go hand in hand. In all of fiction, these two clowns are without question the most insane and iconic.
Boomstick: Joker, The Clown Price of Crime.
Wiz: And Sweet Tooth, The Ice Cream Truck Killer.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle
Wiz: The past of this comic icon is clouded in mystery. The only thing we know for sure is that an unnamed man wore the outfit of The Red Hood, and infiltrated a chemical plant in order to rob it.
Boomstick: Then Good old Batsy showed up and scared the guy so bad he fell into a vat of chemicals. Dumbass.
Wiz: He miraculously survived, albeit disfigured. Now with the guise of a clown, he went crazy.
Boomstick: From that moment on, he became a new, much more sadistic, man. His new name was The Joker.
Wiz: Despite his mental condition, the Joker is stated to have a genius level intellect, and, despite using guns and knives on a regular basis, has a decent array of gadgets and gizmos to take on Batman.
Boomstick: He's also really good at using essentially anything as a weapon.
Joker: Wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil, disappear!
A thug begins to walk towards Joker, but the clown slams his face down onto the pencil
Wiz: He has his iconic Joker cards, which act as shurikens, and a gun that shoots out a boxing glove.
Joker shoots out his boxing glove gun at Scorpion, who then turns in anger
Boomstick: Did this guy, seriously just piss off SCORPION?!
Wiz: He has an acid spewing flower, multiple explosives, and a joybuzzer
Shows Joker joybuzzing someone into a skeleton
Boomstick: Jesus Christ...That's the last creepy thing I can sit through today.
Wiz: Nothing. Anyway, he also has his trademark Joker Venom, which causes whoever inhales it to literally laugh themselves to death.
Boomstick: That's gotta hurt. Speaking of hurt, Joker...cant. He seems to have some heightened resistance to pain after those chemicals burned him.
Wiz: Especially since he had......thisdone to him..
Boomstick: OH GOD WHAT THE FU-
Screen fuzzes out
The words "technical difficulties appears on the screen and Boomstick's vomiting can be heard in the background
Screen fuzzes back in
Wiz: You OK?
Boomstick: Yeah...let's keep going.
Wiz: With his insanity comes unpredictability. He has slight training in hand to hand combat. His style is hard to predict. He is fast and agile. In some incarnations he's even been able to keep up with Batman.
Boomstick: You know just that one guy who's one of the best hand to hand fighters in the world. Though he does have a crowbar most of the time...
Joker(in the video game Injustice) pours gas over Batman, and lights a match
Joker: You're fired
Joker throws the match on the Dark Knight and watches him burn
Wiz: The only problem is his poor physicality.
Boomstick: He's pretty wimpy, and can't stand up to Batman for too long. Also, he's better at setting up complex traps for his enemies than actually fighting them. And lots of his feats, like killing Jason Todd and shooting Barbara Gordon involved lots of planning, or just catching them off guard. Even still, the Joker isn't someone you should clown around with.
Joker: It's true Batsy, I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it's sadly anti-climatic. Behind all the stern and the Batarangs, you're just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...ah what the heck I'll laugh anyway!
The Clown Prince of Crime begins to laugh psychotically.
Wiz: Marcus Kane, was a normal man. He had a wife and children, and worked as an ice cream man.
Boomstick: Like any story that starts out with a normal guy in a video game, this only lasted so long. He was taken over by some alternate personality/demon...thing, and wound up massacring his family Michael Myers style.
Wiz: Only his daughter had escaped from the man now know as Sweet Tooth
Boomstick: OK, this is a new record for not being subtle. I mean seriously, he goes around in an ice cream truck with GATTLING GUNS attached to it that makes this sound
Boomstick: Wears no shirt, polka dot pants, a clown mask, and lights his goddamn head on fire! What do you WANT to get arrested?!
Wiz: He has slaughtered numerous people throughout the years using a giant machete, which he can also throw for a ranged attack. He also has a short ranged shotgun and even a chainsaw.
Boomstick: I'm still trying to get over how he lights his head on fire...well not only can he do that, but he's survived a stab to the face, which lead to him only having one eye. Hey Deathstroke we found a new friend for you! Oh wait, you're kind of just...a hood ornament now. Dammit.
Wiz: Speaking of that, his daughter escaped him. After searching for years, he entered the Twisted Metal tournament in order to get Calypso to magically take him to where she was hiding.
Boomstick: Turns out Calypso is kind of a dick. Once Sweet Tooth won the tournament, he sent him to where she was-her grave, six feet under the ground.
Sweet Tooth: I'LL FUCKING FIND YOU AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
Wiz: Turns out she had killed herself shortly after the traumatic experience.
Boomstick: Sweet Tooth vowed revenge, then died. Then his son dug up his mask, and Calypso brought his daughter back to life and they both became clown killers blah blah blah. Even if he got tricked into getting buried alive, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't fear the brutish, ice cream truck killer known as Sweet Tooth the Clown.
An ice cream truck is seen rolling up to a driveway, letting out it's signature tune. A man walks up to the truck
Passerby: Hey do you have any Ninja Turtles with gumdrop eyes?
Suddenly, a muscular man's arm extends out of the truck, pointing a gun at the passerby's face. The screen cuts to black and a gunshot is heard.
Sweet Tooth gets out of the truck and begins walking towards a house
Sweet Tooth: That was pretty fun. Maybe I should use guns more often.
He pauses and thinks for a moment.
Sweet Tooth: Nah.
He tosses the gun aside and takes out his trademark blade, kicks open the door, and walks inside.
Suddenly, we cut to the Clown Prince of Crime strolling down the street, humming Pop Goes the Weasel. He looks over and sees the dead body next to Sweet Tooth's truck. Screams can be heard coming from the house.
Joker: Well this is no good, killing people in ice cream trucks is MY thing. Well, kinda but whatever. I have a SPLENDID idea!
Joker pulls an RPG, seemingly from nowhere, and fires it at the truck after laughing hysterically.
We cut to inside, where Sweet Tooth is about to stab someone through the chest, and hears the explosion. He quickly finishes his kill and immediately goes back outside to see his precious truck destroyed.
Sweet Tooth: WHAT!? NO!
Sweet Tooth notices The Joker, still laughing.
Joker: AHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHA! Oh? Was that YOU'RE truck good sir? I KNEW you were a copycat!
Joker begins to taunt Sweet Tooth
Joker: Copycat, copycat!
Sweet Tooth: SHUT UP!
Joker: AHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Make me!
Sweet Tooth: With pleasure. You're gonna pay for that truck. One way or another.
Joker pulls out a pistol and Sweet Tooth pulls out his shotgun. They fire at each other and both duck behind cover. They continue to fire at one another until they run out of ammo. Sweet Tooth pulls out his machete and runs at Joker. Joker pulls out his crowbar and stops the blow, preventing his head from being chopped in half. Sweet Tooth takes this opportunity to punch Joker in the stomach, causing him to cough up blood. Joker gets out of range and pulls out his boxing glove gun. He fires and winds up hitting Sweet Tooth in the face, making him stumble backwards.
Joker: You're not looking so good grumpy pants.
Sweet Tooth: AAARG!
Sweet Tooth throws his machete at Joker, but the clown prince barely avoids it. Joker runs up to the now unarmed Sweet Tooth and bashes his stomach with the crowbar, then smacks him across the face
Sweet Tooth: Ugh...
Joker: What's the matter? Have I beat you up too badly?
Suddenly, Sweet Tooth pulls out his chainsaw
Sweet Tooth: Shut up and bleed you motherfucker!
Sweet Tooth swings his chainsaw at Joker, but he avoids it by parodying The Matrix. Joker uses his acid flower on Sweet Tooth, burning some of the flesh on his chest off. Joker then pulls out a bomb. But this wasn't just any bomb. He threw it at Sweet Tooth and it exploded, emitting a green gas. Suddenly, Sweet Tooth began laughing manically, and fell to the ground. He couldn't stop cackling, and he laughed himself to death.
Joker poured gas on Sweet Tooth
Joker: THIS USED TO BE A FUNHOUSE!
He lights a match
Joker: And now it's filled with dead Sweet Tooth!
He throws the match onto Sweet Tooth, causing him to go up in flames.
Joker: I'm gonna burn it down, down, down!
The Joker laughs manically as Sweet Tooth's corpse burns
Boomstick: That was...odd to say the least. Who knew Joker was into P!NK...
Wiz: While Sweet Tooth held the advantage in short ranged combat and strength, Joker trumped the other categories. He had more weapons to work with, as well as the better intellect.
Boomstick: And while there isn't a chance Joker could handle a beating from Sweet Tooth, Joker's unpredictability and better speed allowed him to avoid Sweet Tooth. Looks like Sweet Tooth has become a laughing stock.
Wiz: The winner is the Joker.
???:No not justice. Vengeance.
???: I AM THE LAW!
The Punisher vs Judge Dredd