Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman
  • Ahomeschoolingroudon (Redone)
  • Ahomeschoolingroudon
  • Nkstjoa
  • Nkstjoa (Original)
  • Flip D. Switch
  • Simbiothero
Season 1, Episode 7
Vital statistics
Air date March 31st, 2015

Remastered: December 21st, 2015

Written by Ahomeschoolingroudon
Directed by Ahomeschoolingroudon
Episode guide
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Legendary Bird Battle Royale Annie Leonhardt vs Fredrika

Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.


No More Heroes vs Madworld! It's a battle of the crownless kings of UAA & Deathwatch! Who will win! 


Wiz: When it comes down to sports where you kill people you can’t get better than these two

Boomstick: Not to mention their damn weapons! Lightsaber kitanas? Arm-chainsaws? I want!

Wiz: Travis Touchdown The Deadliest Otaku

Boomstick: And Jack Cayman The Master of the Deathwatch Games! He’s wiz and I’m boomstick!

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons armor & skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Travis Touchdown

Wiz: Travis Touchdown is the crownless king of the UAA and has killed every assassin that stands in his way

Boomstick: But before that Travis was just your ordinary otaku & loser obsessed with things like anime & video games. That is until he won a fucking beam katana in an online auction! Now I want to head to Ebay!

Wiz: I doubt they sell beam katanas there..anyway when he got it he became a hitman and accepted a job to kill Helter-Skelter to get him some cash. However this got him into the United Assassins Association a governing body of assassins leaving him a target for other assasins.

Boomstick: However his loser tagline can get thrown out the window with his combat skills! He’s mastered sword wielding and he can slice people up with his katana in seconds! Also he has learned wrestling being able to grapple from mimicking certain moves from wrestling tapes. Also he can turn into a tiger how the hell does that work?

Wiz: It doesn’t..but besides that he also has a motorcycle dubbed the Schepeltiger.

Boomstick: The what?

Wiz: It’s a combat motorcycle being able to clash with other combat vehicles and still drive around without any hassle.

Boomstick: However that’s nothing compared to Travis’s ultimate ability!

Wiz: See when he ends up killing enough people he can access his full rage potential known as Dark Side Mode!

Boomstick: With this Travis Touchdown turns into a monster of a warrior giving him superhuman strength, speed & invincibility but with only a short time limit but it has all of that energy so as if I give a shit however that’s not his only powerhouse up his sleeve! He shows his anime fanboy side by getting out his own version of a gundam!

Wiz: Actually it’s not based off of gu-

Boomstick: Glastonbury!

Travis: Glastonbury let’s punk!

Boomstick: Now that’s a gundam if I ever saw one!

Wiz: It’s not a gundam!

Boomstick: Well how about mighty morphin’ travis touchdown?

Wiz: Ugh..

Boomstick: Anyway the glastonbury has missles, a lightsaber upgrade & a Hail Mary attack which can send an opponent flying into space! Why doesn’t he pull that out more often?

Wiz: Because well..

Sylvia: It is too big and is a public nuisance

Boomstick: Oh that’s a load of bullshit!

Wiz: But even without the glastonbury he’s taken out vengeful spirits, cloud lookalikes, female grim reapers & even another otaku who can transform into a steroid version of himself & a killer macy’s day parade balloon

Boomstick: WHAT!?

Wiz: But even still he has some flaws here and there as even though he is a deadly otaku of murder he’s still has loser qualities like being cowardly & impatient. Also his rage can make him just try to hack and slash through everything in his path and not anything else

Boomstick: But hey how else would you do it? And remember assassins even though you may be number 1 now you may want to treasure it cause the lightsaber katana wielding otaku is looking for you

Travis: You’re the one leaving, in a body bag

Jack Cayman

Wiz: Jack Cayman is one of the deadliest men in the world being a unbeatable player of Deathwatch games he takes it serious

Boomstick: A mechanic and former marine he started without a sponsor reputation or no obvious reason of being there in the first place..except for the hundred million dollar prize! Now I want to join deathwatch

Wiz: Trust me Boomstick no you don’t as it forces people to kill each other off all the time in the most twisted ways

Boomstick: What?

Frank’s Finisher plays

Boomstick: Damn! Who would run something like that? He must have some serious screws loose.

Wiz: The twisted soul named..Noa

Boomstick: Just Noa? His name is just your average name for some pepsi manager

Wiz: But unknown to Noa Jack Cayman is actually working undercover for the FBI in hopes to get Noa arrested for his crimes

Boomstick: But he’s not your ordinary undercover agent because he has a retractable chainsaw for an arm!

Wiz: This chainsaw allows Jack to slice and dice through other Deathwatch competitors in a matter of seconds but he also kills people in the most obscure ways possible like shooting them to a skeleton! Ripping people in half with dual blades! And even punching somebody into a cannon send tending them shooting off into cannon!

Boomstick: Awesome..

Wiz: See with jack he’s able to use his environment to his advantage being able to send somebody into a conveniently placed spike or fan because there’s deathtraps like that all around deathwatch

Boomstick: Also he’s able to use his motorcycle as a weapon being able to throw his motorcycle at his opponent causing them to explode! as well as having incredible brute strength being able to go toe to toe with a supernatural combatant!

Wiz: And it’s these powers allowing him to sweep through 12 powerful combatants including star wars knock-offs, cyborgs, vampi-

Deathwatach Commentators: Awesome rack on her though

Boomstick: Oh how true..

Wiz: And vampires straight out of twilight until the final clash against the black baron. And after the biggest clash the crowd has ever seen he..

Boomstick: Home runned him with mathilda’s bat into a giant dart board to finish off the deathwatch games!

Wiz: Even after the deathwatch games he still remained as skilled as ever with his new weapon the gator tooth.

Boomstick: Whether you see him in deathwatch or not if you piss him off you better get ready for not just a kick to the ass a chainsaw to the ass as well!

Jack: A Madworld... I’ll fit right in


Wiz: Alright the combatants are set lets end this debate once and for all

Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!!

Jack Cayman is walking through deathwatch until he’s approached by another fierce Travis Touchdown. Travis knowing he’s the new #1 in the UAA gets ready for battle

Jack Cayman: It’s about time..

Travis Touchdown: Spare me the mystic crap I came here to fight!

Jack Cayman: Heh..Ready as I’ll ever be..Let the games begin

Travis draws out his beam katana while Jack draws out his Arm Chainsaw


Jack and Travis slash at each other with the lightsaber katana & Arm Chainsaw but Jack overpowers him and slams Travis to the ground but he ends up wrestling with him but Jack throws him at a fan but Travis cuts it down with the beam katana

Jack: You’re a fucking joke!

Travis: It’s game time!

Jack & Travis get on their motorcycles and start ramming at each other but Jack bests him and throws his Motorcycle at Travis but he drives away from it as it explodes and jumps at Jack

Travis: Fuck head!

Travis slashes Jack in the chest causing him to kneel.

Travis: Pain in my ass why aren’t you dead yet!?

Jack: I don’t help people..I kill them

Jack then pulls out his Gator Tooth and slices Travis. However Travis then begins to transform into a tiger and charges at Jack however Jack wasn’t to easy to impress and picks Travis up and throws him upward. Jack pulls out his Mathilda's Bat and home runs him away. Travis changed back but furious

Travis: You’re gonna fucking pay!

Travis enters the Dark Side Mode and stabs Jack Cayman in the head but Jack tosses him aside and starts shooting at him with his dual magnums. However with Travis’s invunerability he just walks through it and slashes at him some more until it wears off. Jack then headbutts Travis into a wall

Travis: Damn I thought this would happen,

Jack: Ready for a piece of the champ!

Travis however sends out Glastonbury. Jack pulls out his missile launcher and tries to shoot at it but Travis fires missiles back

Travis: Time for the hail mary!

Glastonbury then impales Jack and throws him into space as Travis flies after him and charges up a laser

Travis: BUSTER!!

Travis fires it and Jack explodes causing him to disintegrate




Travis uses the money earned from killing Jack to buy himself some more games.


Boomstick: Gundam power!

Wiz: This was a surprisingly even match. At first Jack Cayman had it in the bag outclassing him with his sheer power but when Travis Touchdown pulled out glastonbury all hope was lost

Boomstick: Sure Jack has dealt with the black baron but Travis has dealt with similar foes like Dr. Letz Shake for example also Travis’s glastonbury has the strength to throw a same sized mecha into space while Jack needs a cannon to shoot somebody up to a volcano.

Wiz: Even his missle launcher was useless as it’s speed can avoid any missiles Jack could throw at him let alone block them with his own.

Boomstick: Jack just couldn't touchdown! (Pun created by Agentrockluxury3)

Wiz: The winner is Travis Touchdown

Who would you be rooting for?

The poll was created at 23:27 on October 26, 2014, and so far 63 people voted.

Next Time (Ahomeschoolingroudon)

Boomstick: Next time on death battle!

Travis Touchdown vs. Jack Cayman Remastered will be released on December 22nd of 2015, marking Ahomeschoolingroudon's 1 year anniversary of writing Death Battles

Interlude (Remastered)

Wiz: These are the two most prime examples that the M-Rating isn't enough sometimes, as these two are not only expert at killing and splattering blood all around, they are in a competition of where there's only one rule; It's kill or be killed.

Boomstick: Travis Touchdown, the #1 assassin of the United Assassins Association

Wiz: And Jack Cayman, the overcomer of Deathwatch.

Boomstick: For this Death Battle this time around, Jack Cayman will be not only be getting his feats from MadWorld, but also from his incarnation in Anarchy Reigns as well. And as for Travis' Glastonbury? Well throw that Gundam in an oversized dumpster, because this is a true one on one duel. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

Travis Touchdown (Remastered)

Wiz: Sometimes being considered a ‘loser’ in society is rough, especially if you are immature asshole of a sociopath.

Boomstick: But what if you can take that sociopathic nature into cold hard cash? Or just do it for fun for a flirtatious slut named Sylvia Christel’s organization, named the United Assassins Association.

Wiz: And in this, he was able to become the world’s most skilled assassin, which, even as an everyday otaku he proved was nowhere near impossible. He ended up growing to be a surprisingly skilled fighter in combat.

Boomstick: You don’t say? We’re talking about a bullet timer, who is able to take stabbings in the heart, bullets, energy blasts and explosions with no injury. Literally taking dedication of his otaku personality to the highest level. Or should I say, power level.

Wiz: He’s also a self-taught wrestler, mostly based off of Mexican Masked Wrestling, or Lucha Libre. And while there are plenty of moves at his disposal with this, his specialty is suplexing foes. And this is combined with his swordsmanship, was mostly taught from Yazuka Thunder Ryu’s video tapes

Boomstick: Travis Touchdown, giving rivaling assassins a one way ticket to Suplex City.

Wiz: But his combat abilities go beyond wrestling, as he’s rather competent physically. As he is a skilled athlete, mostly when it comes to sprinting, and he is even able to lift the overweight undead pyromaniac Matt Helms with little strain, before making a suplex.

Boomstick: It’s almost as if-




Wiz: Ugh..


Wiz: And if you expect Travis to be an honorable foe, he isn’t one, at all. He is not afraid to take cheap shots in a fight. But when it comes to swordsmanship, Travis excels in this category for one specific reason. His beam katanas

Boomstick: These, beam katanas which are totally not lightsabers at all are more than capable of ripping straight through people with ease. And along with this, they are able to deflect other beam weapons, along with gunfire. Yet they somehow cannot deflect metal weapons, but considering Travis himself is, like, made of fucking steel I guess it all works out.

Wiz: And there is several different beam katana models that Travis can use, the signature of which is the Blood Berry. It has average swinging strength and speed, making it a good starting weapon on the battlefield.

Boomstick: But to spice up the spraying blood on the United Assassins Association, he has the Tsubaki manufactured by Naomi’s Lab and Doctor Naomi, which is a more durable version of the Blood Berry. Everything else is, practically the same besides this.

Wiz: But this is just a prototype, and along with this is the Tsubaki Mark II, a much more bulkier model which has five rotating laser blades up for Travis’ usage. Although it requires a lot of professional skill to wield for good use.

Boomstick: And lastly of the Tsubaki line, and probably the most badass out of the bunch, is the Tsubaki Mark III, the beam katana equivalent of a long sword. And again, all of these were forged by Doctor Naomi.

Wiz: The Rose Nasty is a pair of curved, receiverless weapons with red blades and differing hilts with hand guards. This allows Travis to dual wield, and it helped with his revenge, as this was the weapon his assassinated friend Bishop Shidux willed for him to possess.

Boomstick: Blood of redemption, am I right?

Wiz: And last but not least, Doctor Naomi’s latest beam katana invention, the Peony. It is the best weapon for sheer strength, and it expands and contracts based on the users ‘Ki.’

Boomstick: There are two things I’d like to say about that.

Wiz: However, the biggest fault with this sword is that the swinging speed is rather slow. But this is perfect for crowd control

Boomstick: Speaking of crowd control, once Travis’ gotten enough kills, he can use the trump card, called the Dark Side mode. Taking his otaku power level to OVER... 8,000.

Wiz: Well at least that part got right, but Travis gains a temporary power boost, allowing him superhuman strength, speed and invincibility. And the kicker, is that it summons three slot machines, which varies his ability depending on the combination.

Boomstick: This includes getting three grasshoppers for the Strawberry on the Shortcake, where Travis’ hair glows bright yellow and his beam katana becomes highly charged. Okay, I think Travis is going beyond otaku, I think he might be becoming a weeaboo. I guess even at thirty that’ll still resonate with you

Wiz: Travis in this form is described as moving like lightning, as the background goes blurry around him, and like this he can absolutely obliterate everything in his path. And the Blueberry Cheese Brownie allows Travis to fire waves of energy, once getting three bells.

Boomstick: The Cranberry Chocolate Sundae, achieved by three BARs causes the surroundings to turn into a monochrome like scheme, where Travis can only walk. When performing this incorrectly, Travis will only taunt at the foes like this. But when used correctly, Travis will execute foes using methods like chopping off arms, stabbing and tearing a crawling enemy in the pelvic region, splitting a foe in half vertically with a jumping backflip, and other methods of brutality.

Wiz: Three 7s causes the ANARCHY in The Galaxy effect to take place, where Travis stops time and unleash a hot pink energy rain, which vaporizes foes, with a money bonus for good measure.

Boomstick: Too bad it’s more rare than winning the lottery. Oh did I say lottery? I meant to say the biggest fucking scam in the history of ev-

Wiz: And lastly, Cherry where enemies’ movement is slowed, where Travis can cleanly slice them apart. And of course, this is achieved through three cherries.

Boomstick: And lastly, Travis also has a specialized motorbike named Schpeltiger, which is a reliable source of transportation and running down thugs. Hell, this was even used against Ryuji.

Wiz: Travis as an assassin has come a long way, and will fight anybody to protect his title as the crownless king of the United Assassins Association. He’s able to take on swarms of enemies by himself, killed off the mammoth of a robot named Doctor Letz Shake, who was able to fuck up an entire colosseum.

Boomstick: Able to fight against Speed Buster, who wielded an insane Elephant Cannon, which is speculated to be the reason why Speed City is in ruins, killed the nicknamed goddess of death Margaret Moonlight.

Wiz: But Travis is not all fun and games, as he has no real form of ranged attacks, and has hardly any formal training. And he can also be a bit of in idiot, as well as his durability not being the Kaede type, as it has limits.

Boomstick: Plus, the Dark Side Mode can also be a hinderance, and the Beam Katana needs to recharge, in one of the most sexual innuendo ways might I add. Plus, Travis struggles to fight against the opposite sex, whether it’s a University student or a bondage bitch.

Wiz: And once the fight against Alice Twilight came to a close, Travis ended up losing it against the United Assassins Association for it’s cruelty, and he ended up taking it out on Sylvia herself, swearing to tear the business apart.

Travis Touchdown: See that? Now THAT was a battle! Look at this blood! We humans are alive, even if we are assassins! Doesn't matter if it's a video game, movie, drama, anime, manga, WE'RE ALIVE! People shed blood and die! This isn't a game! You can't just selfishly use death as your tool! THIS is Alice's blood! I bet you've already forgotten she'd existed! Same way you would've forgotten about me! And THAT'S why I'm tearing down the UAA!

Jack Cayman (Remastered)

Wiz: Gameshows in most cases are usually for fun, and are always harmless-

Boomstick: Wiz, please, watch the fucking Newlywed Game.

Wiz: Wait, that exists?

Boomstick: You know it does, you shit. Now let me handle this, in order to break the squeaky clean tradition of gameshows that present no harm, the city of Varrigan City would become the setting of where the hosting of DeathWatch would take place.

Wiz: Whoever won this twisted game would become the champion psychopath out of them all, as well as getting awarded 100 million dollars for good measure, as long as you stay alive and kill everyone you meet.

Boomstick: And there was only one confirmed person who had came out as the victor twice, his name was Jack Cayman, former marine, mechanic and police officer turned reigning champion of DeathWatch.

Wiz: But winning the battle royale known as DeathWatch is no easy task, as Noa ran this game, a terrorist group known as the Organizers sent out a virus which forced those to kill each other in order to get the vaccine.

Boomstick: Well, now I can see why Jack came back to this, outside of the sheer brutality that anybody would want to see.

Wiz: And in order to survive, Jack had insane physicality that nobody in the DeathWatch  could ever hope to match. He’s able to throw objects like full oil drums, subway seats, and is even able to tear people apart, in the most gory ways one could ever see.

Boomstick: Hell, he can even overpower the mutant Little Eddie with sheer strength alone, and can hold back two metal storage crates getting launched directly towards him with his bare hands, before slicing them open with a single swing!

Wiz: But he is not just an offense player, he is also extremely durable, able to take large falls, getting shot by bullets, and getting crushed by heavy objects.

Boomstick: And lastly, he’s able to dodge or even cut bullets heading straight towards him! And due to his training in special forces, he’s an expert in all forms of combat, even if he improvises a lot. Most of the improv resulting in tearing foes in half, plus Jack isn’t so honorable either.

Wiz: Well, there is no honor to be seen in a bloody massacre gameshow.

Boomstick: And that’s why Jack has his special secret weapon, the fucking chainsaw! Which is mounted cybernetically to Jack’s arm, which can cut through almost fucking anything!

Wiz: However, this weapon does need to be recharged, but this is where Jack’s other weapons are able to come into play. Which includes a spiked bat, which he is able to use so well that he can home run somebody straight into the bullseye on an oversized dart board.

Boomstick: Speaking of lethal sports tools, Jack also is able to wield a golf club. And a torch, which Jack can, eat from in order to breath fire.

Wiz: But in order to focus on the more bladed weapons, such as an oversized spear. Which lacks in speed, but makes up for that with distance and strength. And he also has a katana, as well as a set of daggers, which Jack can dual wield, and can be wielded swiftly, despite them being overall weak.

Boomstick: Making up for this however? Is none other than the Missile Launcher, which is rather self explanatory. And the Magnet Gun, which is basically the expy of Half-Life’s Gravity Gun, where he can pull up objects closer before blasting them at the foe. Heh, I can’t make this description shit up.

Wiz: But there is two stand out weapons in Jack’s disposal, the-

Boomstick: THE FUCKING DOUBLE CHAINSAW! Which Jack managed to receive after the second round of DeathWatch, as this mammoth of a chainsaw can cut through anything! And it’s likely to be the source of his new upgrade, the retractable double chainsaw inside his mechanical arm named the Gator Tooth!

Wiz: However, even if all of this is not enough to take out his foe, he can weaponize anything in his surroundings. Which include tires, sign posts, explosive drums, garbage cans, trumpets, and even oversized masks for Big Bull Crockers, or trains passing by. Or a pair of firearms, which Jack can use to shoot someone down to nothing but a skeleton, until shooting them one last time to burst them to a pile of bones.

Boomstick: And two last things to help overcome foes, is the ‘Power Struggle’, a quick time event that allows Jack to do heavy damage to the foe, or even finish them off. 

Wiz: And for transportation, Jack also has himself a motorcycle, which he can use for combat if he were to get in a bike fight. Even being able to use his chainsaw while riding said motorcycle.

Boomstick: Hell, Jack without his motorcycle can still do some rather impressive shit. He has won two separate DeathWatch games, successfully managed to come out on top against the BloodBath Challenges-

Wiz: Which are basically timed mini-games where you can thwack someone to a dart board, running over greys with motorcycles, and more gruesome events. But besides this, Jack has survived an encounter with Death Blade, the grim reaper. And has killed foes like The Shamans, Herr Frederick von Twirlenkiller, Martin, Rinrin, Frank, The Masters, his evil clone Kojack, and even the Black Baron.

Boomstick: Not insane enough for you? He’s also came out on top against the Blacker Baron and Mathilda, the former of which wielding the ‘Super Sexy Fists of Fire’ and both of them had killed a Kraken, no I am not kidding here. And he also defeated Big Bull, a foe weighing in at a ton who is basically Wendy’s without the finger in the chili.


Wiz: Regardless, Jack still has his flaws. He has limited durability, and if he takes too much damage he can get himself killed.

Boomstick: Plus, his chainsaw, as badass as it is has a limited timer before it needs to be recharged. Which takes far too long for a high stakes fight, plus he usually rushes into battle, and relies on his improvising to carry him all the way.

Wiz: And the Power Struggle can backfire if he does not use it right, and he relies heavily on close range combat.

Boomstick: Can you blame him? Because he’s got the motherfucking chainsaw, double chainsaw and the Gator Tooth! And who wouldn’t want to slice apart foes with that? I thought so. And on top of this, he managed to walk away from DeathWatch to be a mercenary for his own company, as the CEO of DeathWatch, Noa, would find himself assassinated by his son Leo. Finally granting Jack the ability to never get pestered by DeathWatch a second time

Jack Cayman: Time to get to work.

DEATH BATTLE! (Remastered)

Some boring motel room


The scenery of the hotel room was rather, bleak, and was just completely littered in a mess of video tapes, games, and all sorts of nerdy equipment. As such, the room that the room belonged to was none other than some nerd deemed a loser by society, except that this loser in particular was an arrogant, sociopathic, immature asshole named Travis Touchdown.

Travis was just hanging back, putting on one of the video tapes that belonged to none other than the legend in Travis’ eyes, Yakuza Thunder Ryu. Travis was completely zoned out from the real world as he continued watching, even after the phone rang, Travis finally managed to get out of his little zone barely swift enough to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” Travis questioned to the phone, as he waited for a response on the other line, until he heard a familiar voice on the phone. “Travis, it’s me.” Greeted a voice that Travis recognized, he knew it was her, it was, Sylvia Crystal the ranking agent of the United Assassins Association.

“I have arranged your next set of fights, it should be-” Sylvia nonchalantly said, having already forgotten that Travis had already been the number 1 assassin twice, “Woah, woah! Hold it ice cream, I already am the number 1 assassin!” Travis interrupted, annoyed by the fact that he has to get pulled into this shit again.

“Not anymore, you’re now only a mere 199th ranked assassin!” Sylvia explained in a cold tone, as Travis gritted his teeth from the reply and bashed his fist against the desk in his motel room. “Bullshit! I can’t go for one fucking vacation without getting my record trampled on!” Travis roared in response.

“Well, you are my ‘No More Hero’ so you should go get that title back! Now get your scrub ass to Varrigan City located in Jefforson Island, and kill those assassins already!” Sylvia snapped, as she was annoyed that she had to deal with Travis’ annoying part of his personality. “Sheesh, whatever the hell happened to the horny bitch that I knew!?” Travis replied, which caused Sylvia to just hang up the phone in the middle of the call.

“Hmph, Varrigan City, I know I’ve seen that before.” Travis murmured to himself, before he stepped out of his motel room, locking the door in the process, despite completely forgetting to turn off the Thunder Ryu tape he had playing in the background, as he went down the steps and walked straight out of the motel, as he turned to his specialized motorbike colored almost entirely in white and yellow (No I am not gonna make a Wiz Khalifa joke), Schpeltiger.

Travis did not even give a single fuck about putting on a helmet, as he got onto the Schpeltiger and hit the gas, causing him to speed away from the motel, and managed to  get himself the directions towards Varrigan City, somehow, and floored it over there.

Varrigan City

Once Travis sped his way into the area of Varrigan City, he immediately recognized it from a gameshow that he watched some time ago, he just could not remember what the exact show was. At least, until the announcers came into play.

“Greetings gore sport fans, name is Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes, here for a night showing of the Varrigan City DeathWatch, with more blood and guts than the Spetsnaz!” Exclaimed one of the announcers, as the second began to fuss with him. “And the name is Kreese fucking Kreely, and we’ll be hosting this as always, because no dumbass can replace us!”

Travis sprang his head up, as he recognized the two announcers, “Of course, this is DeathWatch, why the fuck didn’t I recognize this sooner!“ Travis thought to himself, as he twirled around what seemed to be a mere metal rod, before a blue beam bursted onto the rod, as it was now a beam katana, and the most balanced out of the bunch in Travis’ arsenal, the Blood Berry.

A bunch of grunts, all of them in somewhat fancy clothing pulled out pistols and knives in their hands, “This kill will make me famous!” One of the goons boasted, as they all began to dash towards the Crownless King of the United Assassins Association, “Die! You hear me Travis, die!” Another shouted, as Travis dashed from the side towards them, as he lunged forward.


Travis swung his Blood Berry at every single goon that was charging forward, creating a large gash on all of their chests, “GAAAAAH!!” The goons cried out, as they were torn in half, with blood gushing from their corpses as they dropped down to the ground, overkill if you had ever seen it. Travis scoffed, as he turned away from the dead bodies mutilated beyond belief.

Travis would not be sitting pretty for long, as extremely loud footsteps were heard close by, as tremors in the surrounding area formed because of what seemed to be stomping from a giant, as Travis stumbled to get back to his feet after falling flat on his face from the tremors, as he turned he saw a completely deformed mutant, with a oversized flail.

Little Eddie had come to meet him, and by meet, I mean kill him.

“Hoo-man, looks like Little Eddie wants some blood to get stained on his flail!” Howard announced, “And this punk better have something up his sleeve, because from where I’m standing, this prick has nothing on so-called ‘Little’ Eddie.” Kreese mused, as they both began to watch what they expected to be a slaughter.

They were right, just not in the way they were expecting, “I’ll murdalize ya’!” Little Eddie boasted, as he heaved the flail’s chain over his head, before swinging the actual spiked part of the flail towards Travis, who dove out of the way, trying to swing his Blood Berry beam katana at the chain.

However, Little Eddie ended up stopping in mid-fight, as his eyes turned from calm to completely widened, as what seemed to be a speck had jumped up onto Eddie’s back, as blood began to drip from his chest. Eddie ended up shrieking as he tried to get this puny man off of him.


What seemed to be a chainsaw bursted through Eddie’s gut from behind, as blood bursted from the oversized mutant, as the mysterious figure ejected the chainsaw from his back and leaped up, as he pulled out a baseball bat covered in spikes, and bashing the mutant right in the head with it, causing him to crash down to the ground, splattering blood all over the place.

“What in the fuck!?” Travis instigated, as he pointed his Blood Berry at the figure, who dropped down to the ground casually, as he revealed his chainsaw was cybernetically attached to his arm, as he was the reigning champion of the DeathWatch competition Jack Cayman.

“You, tell me who the hell you are!” Travis stormed, as Jack turned to him, and puffed a cigar, causing smoke to flow through the air of Varrigan City, “Jack, just Jack.” The reigning champion replied, as he put his fists up, with his chainsaw still roaring as they spoke, but they would not be talking for long, as Travis drew back his beam katana.

“It’s game time!” Travis exclaimed, as they both got prepared for the bloodiest fight that the viewers of DeathWatch would ever see.



Travis and Jack dashed towards each other as quickly as they could, with Travis slightly having the greater mobility when compared to Jack, as Travis curved his Blood Berry up to Jack’s neck, who backed himself up away from the Blood Berry, as he bent down just nearly with his back against the ground, before pushing himself up, striking Travis in the chin with a uppercut.

“Damn, I know that this is gonna be a nuisance when I can’t decapitate this bastard right off the bat!” Travis muttered, as he jumped back onto his feet, taking a quick breath and spitting on the ground, “Let’s do this shit!” Travis shouted, as he swiftly sprinted towards Jack a second time, but to spice things up Jack just stayed put. Travis smirked, as he swung his Blood Berry downwards, towards Jack’s cranium.

But before Travis could land a successful hit, Jack drew back his fist before swinging a hook towards Travis’ gut, “Holy-” Travis was trying to react, before Travis grunted as the hook struck him, causing him to fly backwards, skidding across the ground as he did until impacting a wall of the many buildings in Varrigan City.

“What the hell was that, ass clown!?” Travis questioned in a very groan worthy manner, and Jack definitely found that groan worthy, as he tried to stomp his foot on Travis’ face as he was down once he got back up to him, Travis tilted his head away from Jack’s foot once he tried, as he leapt up in the air.

Travis crashed down right on top of Jack, with his back facing him, causing them both to fall down on the ground, with Jack falling on his face. Travis quickly got back up to his feet, as he punted Jack while he was still down on the floor, and stomping his gut over and over, still putting on that smirk.

Jack was sick of this shit, as this was putting a major hole in his career as the reigning champion of DeathWatch, along with his mercenary company, before he grabbed Travis by the leg as he tried to get another stomp in. “That’s enough of your shit,” Jack stormed, before arising on his feet and whirling Travis around in a tornado fashion, before tossing him towards a field of spikes.

“So long, bitch.” Jack mused, as Travis widened his eyes at the sight of the massive herd of spikes, as he tried to push himself forward while he was airborne, as he began to fall downward. He skidded across the ground, and he was just short of the field of spikes, Travis made a sigh of relief and took a breath, as he dashed towards Jack, now getting angered.

Travis bounced up off of the ground, as he plummeted forward towards the reigning champion of DeathWatch, “You can’t intimidate me with that shi-” Jack mused, as he attempted to swing his chainsaw at Travis’ chest, but Travis swiped his hand away from him, as he dropped his leg right on his gut.

Jack fell back with his back impacting the ground, as Travis grabbed him by the collar and repeatedly socking him in the face. “Didn’t expect that, did ya’!” Travis taunted, as he continued to sock him in the face, before he slammed Jack’s face against the ground.

Travis snickered as he drew out his Blood Berry, as Jack mindlessly swung his chainsaw over and over, before Travis bashed him right in the face with the blunt end of his Blood Berry, which caused Jack to get a small amount of blood on his face, as Travis twirled his Blood Berry back around to his beam end. As Travis was about to swing his beam katana down.

“Fuck head!”

Travis swung his Blood Berry beam katana towards Jack, as he struggled to get loose of the grip that he had on him, and it was ultimately not worth the effort he put into it, as the beam katana in a matter of seconds made contact with Jack’s chest, almost making contact to his heart, with Travis only missing by a few inches.


Jack groaned in pain as he found himself stabbed by the beam katana, as Travis ejected it from his chest, causing blood to rush out from the gaping wound that Jack had received, the reigning champion covered the bleeding before falling limp, as Travis stood up.


Travis put his Blood Berry beam katana up in the air in victory, as Howard and Kreese ended up watching, “Well folks, you saw that right, our reigning champion had gotten himself killed by a newbie!” Howard exclaimed in shock, but also not feeling so bad about Jack’s death.

“Bullshit! Who gives a damn about a fuckin’ lightsaber, when you got a motherfucking CHAINSAAAW!” Kreese stormed, as he was the only one who really cared about Jack’s death. “Calm your shit, Kreese, at least we won’t have repetition for the third time.” Howard replied nonchalantly, but Kreese wanted to see more blood, as he knew if Jack could not kill Travis, nobody else could.

“But hey, at least he didn’t scream like a little girl when he got himself killed.” Howard reported, as he continued to watch. “Yeah, a little girl that can kick your ass!” Kreese retorted, but what they were both surprised to see, was that Travis turned around towards Jack supposed corpse, and he saw that it was starting to move.


“Bastard, why the hell aren’t you dead yet!?” Travis stormed, as he drew back his Blood Berry, Jack refused to reply as he spat a small amount of blood. “Shut the hell up and fight, joke.” Jack replied, as he had managed to charge his chainsaw back up for another round of fighting during his time on the ground.


Jack activated his cybernetic chainsaw, causing it to whirl on his hand, as Jack began to dart towards Travis, as he tried to knee him straight in the face. Jack blocked the knee attack from Travis, as he swung the back of his leg towards Travis gut, which successfully impacted Travis. 

Travis stumbled backwards, as he tripped on the ground and caused him to fall on the ground. Travis pushed himself up, as Jack stomped on Travis’ back as he was about to get to his feet. “I’m fine with playing dirty as well, you know.” Jack nonchalantly uttered, as Travis flipped forward to get away from Jack for the meantime.

Travis pointed the Blood Berry beam katana towards Jack, before dashing towards him swiftly, as Jack stood still with his chainsaw armed and at the ready, and without hesitation, both of them swung at each other at the same time, causing them both to get blade locked with each other.


Travis and Jack were still locked, in a battle of beam katana against chainsaw, to see which one was superior, and who was better at wielding their average weapons. Travis and Jack both pushed themselves forward, in an attempt to push the other back and wail on them.


Jack used all of his strength in order to push Travis down in order for him to bend downward, before leaping upwards in order to make a kick directly at the back of the neck, causing Travis to fall forward.

Jack was not done yet despite this, as he grabbed Travis by the back of the head and lifted him back up to his feet, and began to punch him in the face over and over, as Travis swung his Blood Berry. “Son of a bitch, just stay put so I can cut off your head!” Travis shrieked, as Jack tilted back in order to avoid the swing, before tossing him towards a train passing by.

“It looks like Jack is gonna give Travis a ride on the pain train!” Howard exclaimed, as the train revealed to have spikes on the outside of the train, which Travis noticed quickly as he began to soar towards it. “What the hell is with this bastard and spikes?“ Travis thought, as he slashed the train driving by, ripping a hole through it while also being able to stop himself in mid air.

Jack rolled forward towards Travis, as he smashed his head against his before slapping Travis’ face over and over, showing no signs of stopping the brutality nor showing any signs of remorse. Which finally, Jack ended it off with his chainsaw pointed directly at Travis, before swinging it at his chest.


Jack gashed a long wound into Travis’ chest, as it began to spew blood from said wound, as Travis glared at him. “You’re gonna fucking pay!” Travis exclaimed, as he grabbed Jack from behind, and lifted him up. Travis fell backward, but in turn he slammed Jack against the ground at full force.


Travis immediately jumped up from the suplex, as Jack groaned in annoyance as he got back up, cracking his knuckles as he noticed that he needed to charge his chainsaw back up. Travis smirked in response to this, “Tired, fuck face?” Travis rhetorically asked, as he drew what seemed to be a pair of red curved blades equipped with hand guards.

They were none other than the Rose Nasty, the weapon that his assassinated friend Bishop Shidux desired.


Travis scoffed, he was still completely confident of victory despite Jack clearly having the physical strength advantage, and even if he lost he was not gonna go down without a very bloody fight. Travis ran towards Jack, as he dove towards Jack as he swung both  of the Red Nasty blades, which looked as if they were curves sabers.

Once Travis swung, he managed to carve an ‘X’ into Jack’s chest, which caused him to fall forwards as he tried to swing his fist towards the crownless king of the United Assassins Association, as Travis kicked Jack back up to his feet, as Travis swung his two Red Nasty curved blades together, to what seemed to be a burst of red energy in Jack’s point of view.

Jack did not want to know the result of what would happen if he got hit by the supposed ‘burst of red energy’, especially because it was heading towards his heart, and as such he jumped to the side, causing Travis to awkwardly stumble forward. “Fuck you!” Travis called out, as Jack turned towards him and drawing his pair of daggers.

“Get a piece of the champ.” Jack mused, as once again they both mindlessly dashed towards each other, with nothing but their dual weapons and their urge to kill. Travis and Jack both swung their dual blades, as Jack kneed Travis back up against a wall. “Son of a bitch, get a load of this shit!” Travis retorted, as he swung the Rose Nasty blades a fourth time, but this was four strikes your out for Travis (Even if it is supposed to be three), as the beam katana duo ran out of power.

“Ah hell-”


Jack stabbed the pair of daggers stationary on Travis’ chest, as blood began to run down his shirt, but Travis spat blood at Jack’s eye in order to stun him for the moment. Travis grasped one of the daggers stuck within him, and ejected it from his chest with a squirt of blood.

Travis snatched the other and ejected it alongside the first dagger, and tossed them both to the side. Jack gritted his teeth, as he picked up a tire from the sidelines, before throwing it at Travis in an overhead motion. Travis snickered at the sheer ridiculous sight that he saw, before putting aside the Rose Nasty blades, and instead getting out a different beam katana model.

The Tsubaki Mark I.

“You seriously fuckin’ think that a tire is enough to kill me!?” Travis boasted, as he swung the Tsubaki beam katana at the tire soaring through the air, causing it to get cleaved in two with a spark of blue colored energy. Travis tossed the two halves of the tire off to the sidelines casually, before leaping upwards; and falling straight back down with his Tsubaki in hand.

Jack just groaned, “More of this shit.” Jack murmured as he made a jab at Travis’ chest, causing him to get launched out of the street corner that they were in within Varrigan City, and out in the open on the streets. “FUCKING HELL-” Travis yelled, as he twirled around in the air without his intention, before dropping flat on his face.

Travis shook his head rapidly before regaining himself, and dusting off the residue of the cement on his shirt and vest. He turned back to where the fight between him and Jack was taking place, and he could not spot him anywhere within the street corner. “Now where did that bastard run off too?” Travis thought, as he looked around for him.

“There is no sight of this bastard anywhere, I bet he ran off like a little bitch.” Travis murmured, as he still had his Tsubaki beam katana model drawn if Jack was up to any dirty tactics. What seemed to be a pair of flashlights were activated in a dark alleyway of the city, which caused Travis to go behind cover, as he was about to swing his Tsubaki.

“Time to kill this bastard, for real this time.” Travis promised to himself, as he turned around, but what he saw proved that he would need more than just his Tsubaki for this. Jack was now in a customized motorcycle, as Jack activated the motor, as Travis widened his eyes. “Ah, damn!” Travis exclaimed, as he booked it away from the now Jack going commando.



Jack floored it out of the alleyway, and took chase at Travis across the streets of Varrigan City, with Travis heavily relying on his leg strength to pull him all the way. “Shit shit shit shit shiiiit!” Travis exclaimed, as he continue to flee from Jack’s rage, which due to his constant talking and attitude, he had a ton of it.

Travis dove out of the way of Jack’s careless driving, as the brutal mercenary turned to where he saw him move away, as he turned his motorcycle around in order to continue chasing. But what he ended up seeing was Travis driving his very own mode of transportation, his motorbike Schpeltiger.

“Didn’t expect that one coming, did ya’!” Travis boasted, as both competitors put the pedal to the medal, as they sped towards each other. Both of their motorbikes, or motorcycles found their pilots to hit the gas, as they drove up in order to ram straight into each other.

Both of their motorcycles were momentarily airborne for a brief few seconds, before they made contact with each other, and as Travis’ motorbike was bulkier than Jack’s simple motorcycle. “Now this is what I call specialization!” Travis exclaimed, as he continued to drive towards Jack.

They both continued to slam into each other as they drove down the street, as if this were to be a game of bumper cars, (Or in this case bumper motorcycles/motorbikes) until one of their vehicles would finally stop working. They just continued ramming into each other, mindlessly just trying to kill each other off.

Jack swiftly swerved to the left at the final time that they tried to ram into each other, before Jack had his newly charged chainsaw up in the ready, and swinging it at Travis while he was distracted. The chainsaw ended up cutting straight through Travis’ arm, as he grunted in pain, “Bastard!” Travis exclaimed before Jack rammed Schpeltiger from behind with his own motorcycle.

This ended up causing Schpeltiger to tumble forward as it ended up falling on it’s side, and trapping Travis’ left foot in between the ground and his motorcycle, Jack drove extremely quickly towards Travis as it caused him to be briefly airborne.

Jack leapt off of his motorcycle while he was still airborne, before tossing his motorcycle downward towards Schpeltiger and the wedged Travis, “Grr, screw this!” Travis exclaimed as he cut his Schpeltiger in order to get himself freed from getting pinned down, as Jack’s motorcycle crashed into the motorbike for the final time, as both modes of transportation would find themselves..


They both ended up exploding once making contact, but considering that Travis was not engulfed in the explosion as Jack had hoped it would most likely to be considered a draw. Travis turned back around to where Jack was standing, but he was not standing anymore as he was bolting towards him as fast as possible.

Travis scoffed, “You’ve just signed your own death warrant.” Travis boasted as he drew his Tsubaki, but he noticed that the beam for his beam katana model was no longer there, and he needed to charge it. Travis groaned, “Not this bullshit again-“ Travis thought, before his pondering came to a screeching halt by a sign getting ripped off of the ground.

This was Jack ripping a nearby sign post straight out of the ground, before whacking Travis with the blunt end of said sign post. “Do you think it’s possible for you to shut the fuck up?” Jack rhetorically asked in an insulting manner, before flipping the sign post horizontally, before swinging the sign post at Travis like it was a baseball bat


Travis coughed out a squirt of blood as he was launched airborne for a few moments, before he began tumbling down to the cold, hard, ground below, as Jack followed him in order to not lose track of where he went. Both Travis and Jack met up out in the open, as it seemed as if they were gonna go straight back to clashing with each other the good ol’ fashioned way.


“Lookie, we found them.” Somebody in the distance muttered, as once he revealed himself from the shadows, he was with an entire group of fashionably dressed assassins with all sorts of weaponry ranging from axes, knives, swords, firearms, you name it. But they all had one thing in common, they wanted the championship and the 100 million dollar reward.

“More specifically, we found the reigning champion, and I get to keep his head!” One of the assassins exclaimed as the entire herd began dashing towards both Travis and Jack, “Only if you get there first!” Another assassin retorted, as they all took aim with their firearms or drew their blades.

“Ignore these distractions, just kill them if they get in our way.” Jack instructed, which Travis smirked in response as he shook his Tsubaki up and down rapidly, before the beam reappeared, indicating that it had been recharged. Even if this was gonna be a long fight, at least there will be more bloodshed.


“Woah, it looks like all of the other assassins want their part in the carnage! Though considering how brutal these two competitors are, they are acting as if they don’t have a head.” Howard reported, as the assassins continued dashing towards each other. “You know how a cockroach can live for ten days without it’s head?” Kreese asked.

“Big deal, I went through eight years of marriage without any head.” Howard retorted, as both Travis and Jack punched each other, before rolling out of the way of the ambush of the assassins, with bullets flying everywhere and knives getting swung around all over the place.

Travis attempted to swing his Tsubaki beam katana model at Jack, but the group of assassins were foolish enough to be attacking Jack from the front, where Travis had swung his Tsubaki forward. “GAAH!” The struck assassins yelled, as they were sliced apart by the Tsubaki.

Travis leaped over the crowd of assassins, kicking those who tried to swing their blades at him straight in the face before rolling forward, as he punched Jack right in the face, before one of the assassins grappled Jack by the throat, Travis lost his grin after seeing this. “Hey, that’s my kill!” Travis exclaimed, before swinging the Tsubaki at the assassin


“GAAAH!” The assassin cried out, as Travis pushed aside his two halves of his corpse, not giving a single fuck about the brutality.

Jack shook off the strangling that the assassin gave to his neck, before dashing back towards the crownless king of the United Assassins Association. Travis attempted to swing his Tsubaki forward towards Jack, but the sparks and beam of the beam katana ended up dissipating, as it ended up running out of power.

“Shit.” Travis murmured, as Jack attempted to swing his fist at Travis’ face, but Jack noticed that his foe ended up ducking under the jab in order to avoid it before grappling him. Travis turned Jack all the way around, before slamming him head first to the concrete below their feet.

Travis turned back around to see that more assassins were heading his way, one of which was a lot more elderly than the rest that he saw, as he wielded what seemed to be an oversized revolver, as Travis quickly realized that this was none other than the president of Santa Destroy Bank named Million Gunman.

“All of you are fucking mindless, this is our fuckin’ fight, not yours!” Travis insulted, before putting aside his worn out Tsubaki, and pulling out the second model of the line of Tsubaki beam katanas, the Tsubaki Mark II. Travis rammed up to all of the assassins, before twirling the Tsubaki Mk. II around and..


Travis impaled his Tsubaki Mk. II beam katana model directly through each of the assassins’ chests, causing them to let out blood curdling screams of pure agony as their blood stained the streets and the beam katana Travis was wielding, before Travis curved the beam katana to the right, causing it to slice through the assassins, finally killing them.

“They’ll turn us into heroes!” Another herd of assassins said, as they charged towards Jack, which the reigning champion just rolled his eyes before dashing towards them, as he stomped one of the assassins’ heads into the ground.


The assassin’s skull found itself getting pierced, with a nearly eight inch hole getting engraved into it solely from the stomp of Jack’s foot, another assassin got out his dual katanas, as he swung them both downward at Jack’s arms, Jack rolled backward before grabbing an explosive drum from behind himself. Another assassin walked next to the one Jack was already fighting, and they both charged towards him without a planned attack.


The two assassins were impacted by the explosive drum that Jack had thrown, causing them both to explode in a shower of blood and various organs, and it caused the remaining assassins around them to get disoriented.

Jack took advantage of this as much as possible, as he took out an extremely oversized  spear, before taking charge towards the crowd of dizzy assassins. “It’s your mistake that your minds were shitty enough to think this was a good idea.” Jack stated, before slowly swinging the spear at all of the assassins, despite the spear being used as a stabbing weapon.




All sorts of cries for help were heard from the slowly dying assassins including the ones above, as the only one remaining in their area after all of the insanity was completely horrified, as Travis walked behind him, “I would say I feel sorry for you, but to put it bluntly, I don’t feel a damn thing.” Travis commented, before making one final swing.


Blood splattered the streets once more, as this time the assassin that was sliced apart was killed instantly, as his sliced apart corpse fell to the ground. Travis and Jack ended up turning back towards each other, with Jack snatching a pair of firearms from two of the deceased assassins.


Jack without hesitation opened fire at Travis, showering him with bullets and all of them perfectly aligned due to Jack’s accuracy. But accuracy could only do so much against Travis’ beam katanas, as he swung the Tsubaki Mk. II around swiftly in order to deflect the bullets straight back towards Jack, who wound back up his trusty chainsaw.


Jack cut straight through the onslaught of deflected bullets with his chainsaw, as the severed bullets dropped harmlessly to the floor, as Jack kicked them to the side of the road. Travis leaped forward, as he was surely getting pissed at the fact that Jack just could not die.


Travis hopped forward at Jack, with his Tsubaki Mk. II ready for action, as Jack attempted to swing forward. Travis socked his foe straight in the face, as he attempted to swing the Tsubaki Mk. II beam katana.


Jack tilted his head back away from the swing of the Tsubaki Mk. II, which only infuriated Travis even more than he already had been, as he attempted another swing forward at Jack’s chest.


Travis and Jack both punched each other in the gut at the exact same time, but Travis found himself stunned for a slightly longer portion of time, as Jack began to walk towards him. Travis quickly knew what this meant as he snapped out of his hazy state, before Jack swung his chainsaw downward, as Travis swung his Tsubaki Mk. II upward.


Travis and Jack continued to try and overpower the other, with the Tsubaki Mk. II repeatedly rotating and delivering off faint blue sparks around the two clashing killers, as Travis seemed to be getting the upper hand.


Jack made a left hook directly at Travis left cheek, causing him to stumble back and cough up a small portion of blood, as Jack rolled behind him and made a drop kick at Travis’ back, making him fall forward on his face. Travis twirled himself around and made a spinning kick at Jack’s groin.

Jack stumbled back, but did not receive so much as a scratch from the attack that Travis pulled off, before he lifted the crownless king by the left leg, and repeatedly slammed him into the ground without mercy.

Travis gritted his teeth as he got his face getting caved in up to the ground by Jack, as he tried swinging his other leg at Jack’s face, which caused him to skid a few inches on the ground backwards, but Jack only spat a small spitball of blood at Travis, as it stained his cheek. “Fuck you.” Travis retorted, before getting thrown against a wall.

Jack turned to the left side of where Travis was launched, and ended up noticing there was a garbage can just standing there, which Jack casually strolled to it and grabbing the garbage can, before leaping back up to Travis.


Jack smashed Travis inside the garbage can, as a downpour of blood came oozing down from the inside of the garbage can, Jack removed the garbage can and tossed it to the side before kicking the Tsubaki Mk. II out of Travis’ grasp. Travis threw a punch at Jack as he did, which he put his hand up in order to block.

Jack made one more physical attack, with him slamming the crownless king Travis with his shoulders, before he took out his trusty spiked bat. Travis was momentarily stunned by the shoulder slam, giving Jack a perfect opportunity to unleash a..


“SHIIIIIIIIIT!” Travis shouted as he was launched up into the sky with a twinkle, as Jack placed the spiked bat on his shoulders, scoffing. “You don’t fit, in a Mad World.” Jack retorted.

The Tower, Casino Land


There were a collection of mini-games taking place in The Tower, as there were various assassins trying to best themselves against other assassins by launching them against a gigantic dart board, or killing the Big Bull Crockers. Unbeknownst to them however, what seemed to be a small shooting star was actually Travis falling through the sky, and heading straight towards The Tower.


Travis crash landed into The Tower, as audience members went absolutely ape shit, as many of the assassins were killed upon impact, with the exception of the Big Bull Crockers. A nearby helicopter ended up diving into the scene, and dropping down Travis’ still main foe, Jack Cayman of course.

“You just can’t fuckin’ die, can ya’?” Travis asked, as he drew his last and most useful out of his Tsubaki line, the Tsubaki Mark III. “Shut the hell up,” Jack retorted, as he drew a golf club. “I don’t give a shit what your last words are.”

Travis and Jack made a break for it towards each other, as they swung their Tsubaki Mk. III and Golf Club respectively, with each getting blocked by the other. Both of them swung their weapons again, and it proved to just be the same results as the first. Jack swung his leg as they retracted their weapons back, which Travis snatched while he attempted to kick him.

“Die!” Travis exclaimed, as he tried to swing his Tsubaki Mk. III at the reigning champion, who used his other leg to bash Travis’ face in, causing him to fall to the floor. Travis however had not let go of Jack’s leg, and yanked him down face first alongside him. It was there, that Jack had saw the Big Bull Crockers walking towards him.

Jack bounced himself up to his feet, as did Travis as he tried to make an attack at the reigning champion while he was vulnerable, but Jack was too swift for that, as he pulled out a katana and sliced it at the Big Bull Crocker, as it wailed in pain as blood rapidly dripped down from the ripped open neck.

Jack swung his katana violently at the Big Bull Crocker’s neck a second time, which caused the gigantic foe twice his size to get beheaded, and the Big Bull Mask landing in Jack’s left hand. Travis regardless of what he just had seen continued to take chase at Jack, until he found himself bashed straight in the face by the Big Bull Mask.

Travis stumbled back, as Jack tried to burst his head open with the Big Bull Mask, which Travis used his Tsubaki Mk. III to stab the mask in place, before ripping it out and repeatedly slashing it open, causing it to fall to small fragments on the floor, shattering even further once it impacted said floor.

Jack groaned, before tossing the katana to the side, and getting out a different weapon this time around. The Magnet Gun.


“Not even a fancy gun is enough to do the trick!” Travis boasted, as he dashed towards Jack, but he stopped once he heard clanging coming from the distance. He noticed that a small metal storage crate was slightly skidding towards The Tower, almost as if it were to be getting pulled by force, until it got launched up to the Magnet Gun that Jack was wielding, as he took aim.

“Oh fuck!” Travis exclaimed, as he tried dashing out of the crosshairs of Jack’s Magnet Gun, as he fired the small metal storage crate towards him, Travis was just quick enough in order for the Magnet Gun to barely miss, with it grazing his back. Jack used the Magnet Gun to attract another metal crate, this one being a slight amount smaller than the first, but Jack did not care much.

Jack launched the metal crate towards Travis, who ducked under it in order to avoid getting his head bursted all over The Tower, but Jack just continued to get another metal crate, and firing it while Travis was still ducking. Travis’ eyes widened, as he scrambled back up in order to avoid the metal crate, but he was struck anyway and launched up against the ropes.

Travis bounced back against the ropes, as he skidded forward with his face sliding against the floor, Travis pushed himself back up while coughing out the fragments of the floor he got.

Travis quickly regained himself once he saw that Jack was hunting him down with a katana, as he swung the blade at Travis’ neck. Travis swiped Jack’s arm out of the way so he was not decapitated by the katana, before swinging his Tsubaki Mk. III at his chest while he was out in the open


A large scar was engraved onto Jack’s chest, causing him to try and stop the bleeding as quickly as possible, but Travis was not gonna be so merciful, as he repeatedly punched Jack, with no signs of stopping. That was until Jack hammered Travis down to his knees with his two fists.

Jack equipped himself with a torch shortly afterwards, but his plan was not to ignite Travis with it, instead he was gonna be a bit more, creative than that. Jack took a bite of the fire that was on the tip of the torch, which confused the audience that was watching the carnage unfold, but it quickly made sense as he spat out an inferno of fire at Travis while he was down.

“HOT HOT HOT! FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Travis exclaimed as he darted around The Tower like a chicken with it’s head cut off, before the fire ended up dissipating after a good few moments having past, Travis noticed that the Tsubaki Mk. III had also had it’s beam fade away.

“Looks like it’s time to bring out my favorite.” Travis murmured, as he tossed his Tsubaki Mk. III straight off of The Tower, before unleashing the most powerful and most devastating beam katana model up for his disposal.

The Peony.

Jack turned towards Travis in disbelief, but not in a positive type of disbelief that you would expect, more disbelief that all of this time spent only had evolved into just another beam katana model. “This is honestly the end to all of the time I had wasted?” Jack asked displeased, which Travis smirked in response.

“No, not even close.”


Travis’ entire physical form seemed to have taken a shift, as out of nowhere three slot machines appeared in between the two combatants, to everybody but Travis they had no idea what in the hell this meant. But Travis knew exactly what was going on, he was going into his Dark Side Mode. And as he looked to the slot machines, as he saw he had gotten three grasshoppers.


Travis’ Peony found itself highly charged in a burst of red sparks, as Travis’ hair turned bright yellow, with his viewpoint becoming completely blurry. This did not stop Travis however, as he bolted through out The Tower as if he was lightning, with red arced flashes appearing as he did.

Two of which appeared up against Jack, who was completely confused as to what the hell was going on, “Where is this bastard..“ Jack thought, as he attempted swinging his katana at one of the flashes of what seemed to be lightning, but the katana flew straight out of Jack’s grasp, and it fell all the way down the tower.

Travis appeared distorted for a second as the Strawberry on the Shortcake effect began to fade, but as the effect faded..


Two gigantic scar marks were engraved onto Jack’s chest, as he grunted loudly out of sheer agony, as he had enough of this bullshit. Jack decided to get out the mother of all chainsaws, the Double Chainsaw. This time Jack was the chaser, as he staggered towards Travis before swinging his Double Chainsaw, as Travis swung his Peony.


Travis and Jack were now in the final Desperate Struggle, this time with their most powerful weapons at their disposal, as Travis began to quickly overwhelm Jack with his brute Peony strength, this was his most powerful beam katana model for sure, Jack could confirm that.


Jack did not even get granted enough time to counter attack, as Travis swung his Peony beam katana all the way down, causing Jack to fall on his back.  Travis leapt up and crashed his feet against Jack’s face, before leaping back up in the air and falling on his feet back to the ground.

Jack pushed himself back up, and he, was, pissed.

Jack put his Double Chainsaw to the side for the moment, as he equipped the mammoth of a cannon, the Missile Launcher. “You little shit!” Jack scolded, before he began to rapidly fire missiles at Travis while he was standing there, but he was standing there because the three slot machines appeared again, and they ended up getting the three BARs



The entire surroundings in Travis’ point of view faded into a monochrome scheme, as all he could do is walk, but as such he strolled up to Jack before making a taunt at him. “You’re fuckin’ screwed now, you know that!?” Travis taunted, before he finally ended up making an actual attack at the immobile Jack.

The Peony ripped straight through Jack, as he stabbed him straight through the chest with it, causing Jack to cough up a large amount of blood, and in response to this Travis grabbed him by the back of the head, and repeatedly bashed his face in. He ended up bashing Jack over and over for so long that the monochrome scheme ended up fading away from sight, as Jack got back up exhausted, but he knew he had to end this, as a dual chainsaw in an orange scheme was activated.

The Gator Tooth.

“It’s time to become gator bait, you shit!” Jack shrieked, as he wound up the Gator Tooth, as Jack made his dash towards Travis, either he was gonna die, or he was gonna kill his foe. Travis swung his Peony forward in order to try and behead Jack, but he soon realized that Jack had tilted himself back, as he swung his Gator Tooth forward


Travis held up his Peony to where Jack had swung his Gator Tooth, as they got caught in another blade lock, this time Travis was not even gonna bother with the blade lock, as he kicked Jack right in the stomach in order to force him to back up.

Jack shrieked as he charged down Travis with his Gator Tooth held up in the air like a maniac, as he swung his Gator Tooth forward, but as they did this Travis had activated his last Dark Side mode up for use, as the slot machines were summoned for the final time, and this time they got exactly what Travis was hoping for. Three cherries.


Jack was heavily slowed down by the effect of the Cherry Dark Side ability, which gave Travis the perfect opportunity to finish the job, as he stabbed the Peony right into Jack’s right arm, causing him to grunt in agony. But Jack was not gonna get a break, as Travis curved his Peony in order to sever his arm from his shoulders.

Travis punted the arm equipped with the Gator Tooth upwards, and surprisingly to the audience the chainsaw was still running, as it began to fall straight towards the helpless Jack, as he tried to back himself away, but he was just too slow.


The Gator Tooth was launched straight into Jack’s chest, as it tore straight through him from the top all the way to the bottom, as this time Jack was yelling out of agony rather than just grunting, which pleased Travis’ ears. But this was no time to be a show-off, it was time that this battle was put to a close.

Travis rammed straight into Jack with the Peony, causing him to stab straight through his heart, as this combined with the previous severe injuries gained from the Cherry effect of Travis’ Dark Side mode, blood was splattering all over the place as if from a busted piñata, a very human piñata at that. 

Travis kept Jack impaled on his Peony beam katana for the meantime, as he began swinging himself around in a circular motion that would make anybody dizzy, before Jack was launched straight off of the Peony and straight towards the gigantic dart board, “Shit..” Jack muttered, before he finally impacted the dart board.


Jack’s blood was completely gushed all over The Tower, as Travis just stood there with his arms crossed, feeling triumphant over the now deceased Jack Cayman. But rather than paying respect to the worthy foe that he had fought, he spat a small amount of blood at his bursted corpse.


“And they said I wouldn’t fit in a ‘Mad World’” Travis spoke to himself, as the crowd began cheering loudly for the new victor of the DeathWatch competition. “Well folks, that’s an ending that nobody saw coming! And that finisher is what I call a heart attack!” Howard exclaimed, as he watched. “That’s what I call a dickwad comment,” Kreese retorted, but that was not the point.

“But the crowd has gone absolutely apeshit, and that was an outstanding performance from Travis Touchdown, and the now dead Jack. And I bet now he could go for a beer.” Kreese reported, “And because I could as well, it’s time for us to split, this has been Howard ‘Buckshot’ Holmes.” Howard stated, “And Kreese Kreely!”

“And we’ll see you in hell!” Both Howard and Kreese exclaimed, before the broadcast of DeathWatch ended up coming to an end, as Travis was still in The Tower, watching as the helicopter carrying the dart board, which had the majority of Jack’s blood splattered all over it, Travis just smirked as he waited for Sylvia.

“Now that, is what I call a fuckin’ battle.”

Conclusion (Remastered)

Boomstick: I think that’s a new record for goriest fight, like by a longshot.

Wiz: This was many times closer than our first fight, having excluded Glastonbury Jack had the brute strength advantage, plus the long range weaponry was something Travis did not possess.

Boomstick: But it hardly mattered what Jack would throw at him, because Travis’ durability is fucking insane! As his durability is basically the equivalent of anime physics, Travis could take the likes of stabbings in the heart, shootings, energy blasts, explosions, and even Dr. Letz Shake’s attacks without a problem

Wiz: Alongside this, Travis barely had the speed advantage, and Jack really had to find his own weaponry, while Travis had access to his whenever needed. Jack had access to the Power Struggle sure, but that could just as easily backfire on him as it could help him.

Boomstick: Meanwhile Travis’ trump card, the Dark Side mode is just completely insane. Giving Travis all sorts of abilities that Jack couldn’t even hope to counter

Wiz: And honestly, this just comes down to their respective series. While Jack has always had that sort of realism brought into him, despite having superhuman attributes. Travis is just a complete nut case when it comes to abilities, as they are just frankly absurd, whether it’s Dark Side mode, his durability, you name it.

Boomstick: Now, this isn’t to say that this wasn’t a close fight, hell this was one of our toughest matches to date. But all and all, Jack will just be boarding the second loss group.

Wiz: The winner is, Travis Touchdown. For the second time.