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Vanilla Ice VS Nui Harime
Ice vs nui by hakuxtemari d8ndikx by lady n gentleman-d8nnofl
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Season 3, Episode 13
Vital statistics
Air date August 7, 2015
Written by Derpurple & ArachnoGia
Directed by Derpurple & ArachnoGia
Episode guide
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Jean-Pierre Polnareff VS Mitsuru Kirijo Josuke Higashikata VS Sakura Haruno

Vanilla Ice VS Nui Harime is a What-If? Death Battle and can be considered a follow-up to Ragyo Kiryuin VS Dio Brando.

Description

It's JoJo vs Kill la Kill again.

These two may not seem as menacing or deadly as their masters but they will assure you that they are the last thing you'd want to see! Will the Psycho Bitch Cutey Nui fall victim to the void or will Vanilla Ice melt?

Interlude

Done by Derpurple

(Cue Invader - Jim Johnston)

Wiz: Minions-

Boomstick: Oh god don't tell me we're doing a Death Battle with those annoying yellow-

Wiz: No, we're not.

Boomstick: Okay good I hate those guys.

Wiz: Minions and henchmen; there are many of them but most seem to be rather disposable, useless and easy to defeat.

Boomstick: But these two will make you wish you didn't meet them.

Wiz: The Spirit and Miasma of the Void, Vanilla Ice.

Boomstick: And Nui Harime, the sadistic yet childish Grand Couturier of the Revocs Corporation. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our jobs to analyze these sadistic minions' weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win...A Death Battle

Polls

Who will you be rooting for?
 
54
 
20
 

The poll was created at 04:52 on August 10, 2015, and so far 74 people voted.
Who do you think will win?
 
59
 
16
 

The poll was created at 04:52 on August 10, 2015, and so far 75 people voted.
Who do you hate more?
 
29
 
36
 

The poll was created at 04:52 on August 10, 2015, and so far 65 people voted.

Vanilla Ice

Done by Derpurple

(Cue JoJo ASB OST - Vanilla Ice's Theme)

Wiz: Vanilla Ice-

Boomstick: Wait who? You mean that old bad white rapper from like the 80s-90s? We're doing a death bat-

Wiz: Vanilla Ice from JoJo!

Boomstick: Oh, nevermind then. Continue on.

Wiz: Vanilla Ice was DIO's loyalest and deadliest minion, DIO liked him so much that when he asked him to cut off his own head for blood he instead turned Ice into a vampire. Though he didn't really know at first, well at all really.

Boomstick: As a vampire, Vanilla Ice can withstand attacks that would prove fatal to normal human beings and even other Stand users. Like for christ-sake this guy was stabbed in the head with a jagged rapier all the way down to his nose and then had his neck snapped to face his back and was dropped down on the ground and he still got back up just fine and just kept going!

Wiz: This would be due to regeneration for JoJo vampires. For instance, one vampire had his whole body exploded into meat chunks to what one said look like "hamburger meat" but regenerated back into its original state in over a minute this was also without the use of blood.

Boomstick: Aside from this great durability and stamina, like any vampire Vanilla Ice can easily be killed with sunlight. And even with this great durability and stamina, attacks that are fatal to regular people can knock him out for a short while leaving him vulnerable. However that may be hard to do thanks to his Stand Cream.

Wiz: Cream is able to create a void by devouring itself and its user that devours everything it touches, by passing all forms of durability. Aside from this, in this state Cream is invulnerable to all attacks and can only be defended against by dodging.

Boomstick: The only problem with this is; neither Vanilla Ice or his Stand can actually see while this ability is being used. Meaning Vanilla Ice has to occasionally stop the ability to see whether or not the attack was successful leaving his head vulnerable to surprise attacks.

Wiz: Cream can also access an alternate dimension and view the surroundings in the physical world. However, it does not exist in the physical dimension when it does this, as it remained undetected by Muhammad Avdol's Stand.

Boomstick: Despite being a competent fighter, Vanilla Ice doesn't use Cream to its full potential. Vanilla Ice is not too bright, he ain't much of a thinker or strategist when compared to the other characters of JoJo. He tends to just rush into things and see how they play out.

Wiz: Aside from this, Vanilla Ice is nonetheless a dangerous opponent having killed two Stardust Crusaders and almost killing a third. Where DIO only killed one and almost a second.

Nui Harime

Done by ArachnoGia

(Cue Nui's Theme)

Wiz: Deep In the Revocs-Corporation, Ragyo Kiyurin was Planning to Cocoon the World In Life-Fibers whilst She Was Scheming she Used her Grand Courtier to Be Her Eyes and Ears and Her Name Was-

Boomstick: Nui Fucking Harime...

Wiz: Being One With the Life-Fibers Nui has all the Abilities of A 'God' she Is a lot More Durable Than the Average Person meaning she Has Enhanced Stamina, Reflexes, Endurance and Other Properties. Is a Expert at Lowering Her Opponents Guard and Playing them into her hands Like Pissing them Off in the Most Innocent Voice... She's also Good At Physiological Manipulation.

Boomstick: No Wonder Nobody Likes Her... Anyways Nui With Her Life-Fiber Induced body Is No Slouch When It Comes to Fighting Her Regeneration and Duplication Makes Her Extremely Hard to Kill not To Mention with Her Shape-Shifting and Is A Master of Disguise, this is One Woman you Don't Want to take out for Dinner.

Wiz: Nui Wields a Scissor Blade Who Was Created By Isshin Matoi which She Killed In the Progress to Take for Herself. This Blade Is Meant to Cut Life-Fibers and is A Add-On to Her Deadly Sewing Arsenal.

Boomstick: She Can Also, Turn the Scissor Blade Into a Scythe Which She Can Change It's Power like How she Said she Was Going to Capsize a ship!

Wiz: Nui Also Wields The Razor-Tape Measure which Is Basically A Weaponized Measuring-Tape and her ability Of Sewing which She Can Unhook Life-Fiber Clothing In Seconds, Turn Her Victims into Mindless Puppets and Much-Much more.

Boomstick: And Getting her Arms Cut Off By Ryuko Matoi Bitch Got what She Deserved She Got New Arms from Ragyo which Are Special Super Bendable Life-Fibers Allowing Her To Morph Her Arms into Anything Like Blades and Wings, I Don't know About you But I'd Morph those Arms into something el-

Wiz: -Nui's Personality Is Not the One to Like, But Her Feats tell a Different Personality, She's Kept Up with the Whole Elite-4 Who were Wearing Enhanced 3-Star Goku Uniforms-

Boomstick: No Wonder they Lose A lot...

Wiz: No Boomstick It's More Of a Title Anyways, She's Bested Ryuko Matoi In combat without Breaking a Sweat, Bested Satsuki And Much More, But Her Personality Is Not Only One Of Her Biggest feats, But Also One of Her Biggest Downfalls...

Boomstick: Yeah, Nui's Kinda Underestimated her Opponent On Multiple Occasions (1st by Getting Her Eye Stabbed By Isshin Matoi, 2nd Ryuko-Matoi where She Got her Arms Cut off), Can Get her Banshi Thread sewn (Or In this Case 'Cut' off) and Always Goes Into a Berserk State if She Is Pushed Beyond Her Cool and Collected Ego and She Becomes more Dangerous and Unpredictable... Definitely Not a Woman you Want to Take out for dinner.

Wiz: Never Get On Nui Harime's Bad-Side Because if you Do You're Already a Goner.

Death Battle 

Done by ArachnoGia

Wiz: Alright the Combatants are Set, let's settle this Debate Once and For all...

Boomstick: It's Time For a Death Battle!!

*Pre-Fight* 

Nui Is Taking a Fine Stroll Like Usual In the Setting's of Cario, Egypt with Her Pink Umbrella, then Something Catches Her Eye a Mansion Larger than The Others. Like The Bitch Curious Girl She Is She Explores the Mansion Unknown of It's Guardian.

As Nui Walks into A Upper-Part of the Mansion She Couldn't Help, But notice a Odd Presence In her Surroundings Then A Voice Calls Out "Leave While you Have the Chance..." A Low and Menacing Voice Boomed in the Area Nui Looked around In a Not so Phased Manor like She Was Expecting Something then She Looked up and Saw that half of Her Parasol went Missing as If it just Vanished into Thin Air.

Then Someone Punched Back With little Reaction on Nui's Face and Looked Up to See that her Challenger was None other than Vanilla Ice "Well You Aren't Fun I Guess I'm Going to Go the Hard-Way On you~!" Nui Replied in a Happy-Tone, "Interesting.. She Seems She Enjoys this Kind Of Pain.." Thought Vanilla Ice "Very Well... You Shall know the Power of the Void!" Vanilla Ice Roared as He Activated his Stand 'Cream' and Got into his Fighting Stance, Nui Just Laughed "I'm Going to Have some Fun until we Take over This Filthy Planet~" She Giggled as She Took out her Scissor Blade... The Battle Of the Obsession had Begun.

*FIGHT!*

Vanilla Ice Ran At Nui And Tried to Kick Her a Couple of Times, Nui Simply Dodged Him And Took a Swing At Him with Her Scissor Blade, Jumped up And Drop-kicked Him into a Wall, Vanilla Ice Stumbled Back Onto his Feet Then He Summoned Cream, With that he Got Devoured by His Stand and The Stand Ate Itself to Form a Void Of Sorts.

"Oh, Boy A Magic Trick I Wonder what You're Going to Pull?" Nui Laughed as She Looked around the Whole Interior of the Room Checking for Her Opponent. Vanilla Ice was In the Void Zooming around The Area Almost Blind Not Knowing Where His Combatant was, "She Must Be Close I can Hear Her.." So He Peeped his Head Outside of the Void (Or Cream's Mouth) To Have a Good-Look at His Location, Nui Took this To Her Advantage and Stabbed Ice In the Mouth while She Had her Back Turned And Cut Ice's Head In Half.

"Poor Thing you're All Done For.." She Said As she Was About to Use Her Scissor-Blade to Cut Off Ice for Good, But He Disappeared... And So Did Her. "This Is What Happens when You Mess with the Void..." Ice Said As He Floated down.. But As he was Gloating and Touched the Ground... Nui Slashed at Ice with her Duplication "You Shouldn't Underestimate me!" Nui Giggled as She Scissor Kicked Ice and Slashed Him with her Decapitation Mode Sending Ice Flying into a Wall of the Dark Room.

"Damn You.. Filthy Scum... KNOW YOUR PLACE!!" Ice Charged at Nui With Staggering Speed and Punched Her To a Wall and Kicked Her 5-7 times Nui Coughed Up and Slashed Ice with her Scissor Blade And Got back On her Feet while Ice Was Still Stumbling Back, "Oopsie, Looks Like you've fallen into my trap" Nui Smiled as She Pulled out what Seemed to Be Measuring Tape and Whipped at Ice like A Whip Damaging Ice "That's not all I can do.." Ice Protested as He Fled to His spun around a Little Void and...

Cut Off Her Leg "My Leg!! Mylegmylegmylegmylegmylegmylegmyleg... MY LEG?!!?" Nui Howled In Pain As She Jumped around, Now Nui Was Angry She Cut Ice as Soon as He Went out Of the Void 9-Times and One Final Slash With her Scythe Mode "Now I'm Angry And I mean Really-Really-Realy!! Angry!!! Like Dislike Angry!" Nui Foamed In a Happy Face, Ice Was Also Angry.. How Dare a Little Girl Mocked Him and Dio's Name He Shall Make Her Pay.

The Two Clashed As they Ran At Each-Other with their Teeth Gritting and Blood Dripping Nui's Arms morphed into Hardened Life-Fibers and Ice Summoned Cream to Aid Him the Two Slashed, Punched and Kicked and Bit away At Each-other Nui Used Her New Arms to Slash at Ice, But Ice Kept Regenerating, Ice Kept Kicking and Punching at Nui, But Nui Kept Regenerating Finally Ice Used Cream's Void to Evade the Attack ultimately, But Nui wasn't Playing around... With Her Immense speed She Almost Teleported behind Ice to Use her Killing attack with a Needle to the Neck "Poor thing This Really is the End for You..." She Said as she Send the needle into Ice's neck "This Is the End!" She Laughed Manically.....

....

...

..

"It Is For you Child..." As Ice Still continued to Go into his Void And Nui's Needle Disappeared And Vanilla Ice Used Cream to Change It's Mass And Consume Nui Whole Leaving Nothing, But Her Arms. "This Is what Happens When You Intervene With The Void.. And Lord Dio..." He Growled as he Left the Area Leaving Nui's Lifeless Arms to Disintegrate back Into Life-Fibers.

*K.O!*

Vanilla Ice Was Reporting to Dio Whilst Kneeling and Nui's Arms Were Gone Leaving Only a Puddle of Blood... "Poor Nui... You Were Always too Head-Strong.. You Need to Learn Better" Said a Strict, Soft and Womanly Voice.

Results

Done by Derpurple

(Cue Theme of Vanilla Ice)

Boomstick: Yes that bitch Nui is dead! She's dead!

Wiz: And she can't regenerate out this one folks. Cream's void can simply put, erase anything out of existence, and there is no plausible way for someone to teleport out it would seem as it erases or "devours" all objects in a violent and painful manner. If a limb falls into the void, you aren't getting that limb back.

Boomstick: Though Vanilla Ice isn't much of a tactician, neither is Nui. Both seem to just rush into battle, but Nui has a more immature style of fighting opposed to Vanilla Ice's rushing into things and offensive style. Nui would play into Ice's style perfectly before she even gets to really do anything.

Wiz: While Nui's durability is good but compared to Ice's regeneration, stamina, and obsession she is outclassed. Yes, someone outclasses Nui in levels of obsession.

Boomstick: All of Nui's attacks would have been useless against Ice's insane regeneration and against his void which even other Stands can't hurt. Not to mention the fact that Nui probably can't even see Cream. Nui wasn't even an arm's length away from a win.

V-Ice Wins

Wiz: The Winner is Vanilla Ice.

Advantages & Disadvantages

Done by Derpurple

Vanilla Ice

+Insane Regeneration

+Insane Amount of Stamina

+Well keep fighting on no matter how much damage is dealt

+Cream can devour anything Nui throws at him

+Cream can easily devour Nui

+Tactic works well against Nui's

=Almost Equally Insane

-Can't see where he is going

Nui Harime

+Bigger Arsenal

+Better Weaponry

+Better Durability

=Almost Equally Insane and Obsessed

-Can't see Stands

-Immature style lands her into Ice's trap