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Wario vs Dark Pit is a Death Battle by Peep4Life.

3. Wario vs Dark Pit

Description

Super Mario Bros. vs Kid Icarus! Mario and Pit's rivals meet to determine who is the greater Nintendo anti-hero.

Interlude

(Cues- Invader- Jim Johnston)

Boomstick: Rivals come in many different shapes and forms- some are identical to the heroes of their universe.

Wiz: But some rivals are the perfect example of being the polar opposite of what the protagonists represent. Like Wario, Mario's greedy rival.

Boomstick: And Dark Pit, Pit's aggro doppelganger.

Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick! And it's our job to analyse their weapons, skills and armour to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Wario

(Cues- WarioWare, Inc. Super Smash Bros. Brawl OST)

Wiz: Commonly known as the rival of Super Mario, Wario being "quite the opposite" is an understatement. He's obese, angry and far more selfish and greedy than his red counterpart.

Boomstick: Despite his track record as a castle seizing, cunning and scheming nuisance, Wario has found himself crossing paths with Mario in many ways- whether their paths cross thanks to Wario's manipulation or Mario's stupidity to let him come kart racing.

Wiz: Come on, now: if Mario can set aside his differences with Bowser for the sake of sport, then I'm sure Wario is almost on the top of the invite list.

Boomstick: Yeah, almost like Mario is asking for trouble really.

Wiz: Despite being the rival to Mario, he has been known to lend a hand... for the right price.

Boomstick: That's actually the most sense Wario ever made. I mean, why do anything for free? Wiz! 50 bucks or I'm outta here.

Wiz: *sighs* Fine, fine. *paper is passed between the two*

Boomstick: A pleasure doing business. Wario has embarked on his own adventures too- defeating enemies of all shapes, sizes and strengths and- despite possessing the physical description of all "Yo Mama" jokes, is able to compete in all kinds of sports without collapsing in a heap.

Wiz: He's also surprisingly muscular amid all that fat and has multiple tools and ways he can defeat his enemy.

(Cues- Wario's Theme. Mario Strikers Charged Football OST)

Boomstick: Hey, what's the matter, Wiz?

Wiz: $55 or I'm out of here.

Boomstick: WHAT? Fine, fine. *the money is passed back*

Wiz: A pleasure doing business... As mentioned earlier, Wario is a large man and can luckily for him, throw that weight around.

Boomstick: Wario can use his gut, and even his ass as a weapon- clashing into people with bone shattering impact.

Wiz: Wario's attacks with his backside are more than just a Butt Smash- he can attack and move around by farting. The longer Wario goes without farting, the stronger his eventual release becomes.

Boomstick: Wait? He can move around by flying? Imagine if you or I could do that: "So long, suckers- I'm going to Paris for the week!"

Wiz: The opponents caught in a fart's radius will either become dazed and lose their wits for a few seconds or will be blasted away entirely should the force be too great. Wario also has access to Bob-ombs and can use his signature vehicle: The Wario Bike!

Boomstick: The bike can deal damage to an opponent but doesn't protect Wario from much and can be destroyed relatively easily too. But Wario's not exactly powerless without it; he can use his unorthodox style to throw himself in the air and attack with kicks, corkscrews and punches. He also uses his signature Shoulder Bash, which can deal a hefty blow as well as destroy boxes.

Wiz: He also has a range of throws, piledrivers and the speed to outrun a boulder. If nothing else is going his way, Wario can result to his Chomp attack, where he will literally bite an opponent to try and kill them. Of all the ways to go, perhaps in the mouth of a garlic loving fart machine isn't one of the most favourable. Speaking of garlic, Wario loves the stuff. It's the food that Wario can eat raw and will unlock his true strength form:

Boomstick: Wario Man! So, Superman has Blue Stars, Sonic has Chaos Emeralds, Link can use the Triforce and Wario has... garlic. I'll hand it to him: it's original.

Wiz: While Wario Man, he possesses much greater speed and strength. He can take most attacks without flinching- although not invincible- and his bike riding speed becomes... a little uncontrollable. It's also worth the mention that this form doesn't last very long at all, so Wario has to make the most of the short time and do as much damage as possible.

Boomstick: This wouldn't be in question except for Wario being an extremely arrogant man; he assumes he is far greater than any opponent and will almost certainly take them lightly at some point in the battle. As well as Wario Man, Wario can use Pot to make himself stronger.

Wiz: Those are pots...

Boomstick: Exactly what I said. There are three kinds: The Bull Pot gives Wario additional strength and allows him to cling to ceilings. The second is the Dragon Pot, which allows Wario to shoot fire.

Wiz: And the Jet Pot, which allows Wario to travel faster and even lets him fly for short periods of time. Which is a terrifying thought.

Boomstick: Wario's worst enemy- other than his arrogance- is his laziness. Which is a feature that should surprise few. His main motivation is usually the financial gain and he will not partake if he doesn't feel he is gaining a profit.

Wiz: Also, his power isn't very sustainable and he will run out of his superior forms easily and will lose his power up advantage from taking damage against most foes. But he shouldn't be taken lightly as his unpredictable approach can often defeat some enemies before they realise what hit them.

Wario: See that big sturdy man on the Touch Screen? That's me...WARIO! Now get me some treasure!

Dark Pit

(Cues- Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Ruins of the Temple')

Hades: Our hero's looking a little goth today. I hope the stresses of life haven't gotten you down. That would be ever so tragic.

Wiz: Brought to life by the Mirror of Truth, Dark Pit is the flawed clone of Pit.

Boomstick: He is the personification of Pit's dark side- hence the name: DARK Pit.

Wiz: Physically, Pit and Dark Pit are one and the same- best described by Dark Pit himself:

Dark Pit: We're connected. No you, no me. Two sides of the same coin.

Wiz: They are joined eternally but their differences lie in their attitudes, and their loyalties.

Boomstick: Whereas Pit is the servant to Palutena, Dark Pit prefers to serve no one's purpose but his own. As soon as he was created, he aided in the defeat of Pandora before taking off to ignite his feud with Pit.

Wiz: Naturally, Dark Pit found himself working alongside Pit on numerous occasions in his war with the Underworld and despite maintaining his irritation towards Pit, he saw the bigger threat at hand and aided learned to coexist without outright befriending him.

Boomstick: Y'know, like every anti-hero ever...

Wiz: His self serving attitude saw him square up to Palutena, Hades, Medusa...

Boomstick: Viridi, Pit, Pandora. Man, he really has an issue with everyone in this game doesn't he?

Pit: He does seem pretty aggro.

(Cues- Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Underworld Gatekeeper')

Wiz: Altogether in the Kid Icarus Uprising game, there are a total of 108 different unique weapons divided into distinct categories: Blades, Staffs, Bows, Claws, Cannons, Arms, Paws and Clubs.

Boomstick: This essentially means that Dark Pit is spoiled for choice when it comes to weapon selection but his most notorious weapon is the Dark Pit Staff. This weapon can act as a sniper rifle, as well as firing weaker, but more rapid rounds at closer range. Dark Pit can also use it in melee combat if he finds himself close enough.

Wiz: In various stages of his battles with Pit: his primarily used cannon is the EZ Cannon, which he uses to barrage his foes with heavy shots. This is limited in speed but packs a powerful punch on connection. Like the staff, Dark Pit can use this as a melee weapon too, connecting with heavy impact in slower swings .His use of bows is the Silver Bow, which he can break into two blades as well. This also has a rapid fire firing rate as well as a charged shot in slower succession.

Boomstick: He also uses weapons like the Violet Palm and the Ogre Club which are notoriously close range weapons. The club can fire a ranged attack but it is rather slow and isn't the most favourable weapon in a distant engagement. The Violet Palm can deliver stiff punches as well as firing at a distance but, again, is more likely to be used up close and personally.

Wiz: Dark Pit can also access the same items that Pit can, he can acquire grenades and various auras (fiery and icy to be precise) as well as using throwing items like X-Bombs- explosives that send fiery damage in an X shape. He can also use Jump Pads to force whoever walks onto it to spring high into the air.

Boomstick: Similarly to the Star Fox crew, Dark Pit can use a Smart Bomb, which acts the same way as one from Star Fox, but is massively scaled down as to do slight damage to an individual. He also can use the Daybreak- a three piece staff that fires a relentless charge of energy over foes and causes severe damage. This is will be regarded as his strongest weapon choice as opposed to the Dark Pit Staff.

Wiz: He can also use any bow to create large energy charges from above, which can engulf entire battlefields if he has the time to tune his attack accordingly. And while Dark Pit did have the Power of Flight for the most part of the Kid Icarus Uprising game, this is a feat he didn't accomplish by himself; Pandora's remains lived on in his wings and once she was subdued properly, Dark Pit became dependent on Viridi for flight.

Boomstick: Nevertheless, he remains a quality combatant- rivalling foes with sheer brutality and his weapon variety. Oh, and he will even try out the old classic "face kicking" technique if an enemy is giving him more bother than it needs to. 'The Face Kick': always the right answer for all your challenging enemies.

Dark Pit: So anyone who wants to die, step right up!

Intermission

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

Wario vs Dark Pit intermission

Fight 

Location- Wario's Gold Mine (Mario Kart Wii)

(Cues- Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Solo Menu- Viridi')

Following The War's End (Kid Icarus) Dark Pit had gone under the command of Viridi- the Goddess of Nature. She had been watching over the world below and judged the humans for their wasteful ways. One caught her attention in particular: a greedy little man called Wario.

"He has no regard for the wildlife and plants nearby. His Gold Mine is nothing more than a weapon against Earth's natural state." Viridi explained, as Dark Pit was in flight. "So you want me to eliminate him and destroy his Gold Mine. Seems easy enough." He landed at the entrance of the mine, where he saw several carts of gold being lifted away. He pointed his staff at the machinery and fired, sending several carts toppling over the side where they plunged.

(Music Stops)

The sound of a growl from behind him caught Dark Pit's attention as Wario leaped at him. "Hey! That'sa my gold!" He beat his fists together angrily as Dark Pit drew his Silver Bow. "Let's get this over with!" the dark angel responded.

(Cues- Mario Kart Wii OST 'Wario's Gold Mine Outside')

FIGHT!

Immediately, Wario tried to punch Dark Pit but took a slash to the chest and was sent back to his staring position. He then attempted to use his shoulder barge but Dark Pit dodged and used his Silver Bow to hit Wario with three arrows. Realising he was getting nowhere, Wario leaped onto the Wario Bike and sped right towards Dark Pit. The angel leaped to a side, hanging on to the side of the track before realising Wario wasn't following up his attack. He leaped up and saw Wario racing down the track. He activated what was left of his Power of Flight and chased the fleeing Wario.

Wario smugly grinned to himself before seeing the angel on his bike's mirror. "Impossible!" he complained. He reached down and dropped a Bob-omb on the track, which Dark Pit flew over it before it detonated. He returned fire. aiming just before the bike but Wario swerved to dodge. He then dropped more Bob-ombs, catching Dark Pit out, and creating even more separation. But Dark Pit responded by throwing his own explosive, as a grenade was thrown overhead and knocked Wario slightly off balance.

The chase continued into the mine itself, Wario sped down the ramp and taunted Dark Pit as he landed safely on the tracks below. "Enough of this." Dark Pit declared, landing on the top of the ramp and grabbing his staff. He pointed it just ahead of Wario and fired a shot into the track. Wario's bike was stuck in the gap and he was thrown from the bike's seat. Dark Pit ran in after him, firing with his bow. Wario scrambled behind a cart and used his shoulder barge to knock the cart over, knocking Dark Pit over with its sheer weight. The angel swapped for his EZ Cannon and fired it into the cart, blasting it back at Wario.

"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Wario cried as the cart smacked him into the nearby railing. He grunted in pain, and lifted the cart overhead. He dropped it over the side and then countered Dark Pit's return attack, grabbing him by the wings and throwing him into the floor. "Butt Smash!" he announced, leaping in the air and smashing his ass into the ground next to Dark Pit. The angel was launched up but Wario followed with a Chomp. He took three bites out of Dark Pit before releasing him. Wario then leaped in the air, kicking at Dark Pit, briefly stunning the angel.

(Cues Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Chaos Island')

Dark Pit recovered, and swapped to his First Blade. He slashed at Wario, catching him in the gut but not scoring too much damage. He then countered another Chomp with firing into Wario's mouth. As Wario was reeling, Dark Pit kicked him further down the tracks. He then threw an X Bomb, but Wario ducked the fiery explosion. Dark Pit swapped again, utilising the Electro Shock Arm. He threw a punch with it, but Wario clamped his teeth around it.

The two awkwardly stared each other out, before Dark Pit fired electrical charges from it down Wario's throat. "WAAAHH?!" he grumbled, pulling away from the attack. Wario pulled out a Bob-omb, forcing Dark Pit to dodge. This distraction allowed Wario to let loose with a shoulder barge, he knocked Dark Pit down the tracks and spine first into the cart. Wario then grabbed him by the collar and punched him in the gut several times. Dark Pit freed himself, only to take a hard punch across the face. In a daze, Dark Pit staggered towards another cart.

Wario then grinned, his stomach bulging. He went to let out a fart, which Dark Pit only had a second to think about. He raised an Orbitar and desperately blocked the explosion of the fart. He lowered his guard and while he had avoided the force of the attack, its aftermath caught up to him. Thrown slightly off balance with the vile smell, Dark Pit was unable to counter Wario's offence. After using the Dragon Pot, Wario began throwing fire at Dark Pit, singing the angel.

This happened for several seconds until Dark Pit recovered from his daze. He then pulled up his Orbitars again, firing the flaming projectiles back at Wario. Wario retreated towards his bike. He threw another Bob-omb, but Dark Pit was having none of it. He destroyed it mid flight with his arrows and advanced on a now panicking Wario.

(Cues- Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Boss Battle 1')

Quickly, Wario took out a garlic. He scoffed it right before Dark Pit and transformed into Wario Man. Dark Pit paused, amazed by the transformation. Wario didn't stay still though, and he began assaulting Dark Pit with blindingly fast punches and corkscrews. He grabbed a hold of Dark Pit and threw him into a nearby wall, breaking him through it. The angel scrambled towards the finish line of the course, but Wario Man was right behind him, giving chase on his bike.

He ran Dark Pit over, slamming him into the slope before circling back around. Dark Pit tried to attack with his Silver Bow but Wario managed to destroy it, sending it off the side of the mine. So Dark Pit had to run. He tried to out manoeuvre the bike but Wario was hot on his heels. He threw another Bob-omb and caught Dark Pit in the legs. The angel flew forward, smacking his head against the nearby ramp. Wario sped away again, building up as much momentum as he could before mowing Dark Pit down. He sped towards him, and got closer and closer until...

Wario let out a sluggish groan as he was reverted back to his normal form. "Wha?" he wondered. This was Dark Pit's chance! He grabbed his Ogre Club and ran down Wario, slamming him with the club and wedging him in a nearby wall. Wario struggled against his restraint but it was no use! Dark Pit pointed his staff at Wario, who pointlessly struggled still.

(Music Stops)

"Goodybe!" Dark Pit sneered, firing a single shot through Wario's heart. His body slouching in the wedge.

KO!

Conclusion 

(Cues- Kid Icarus Uprising OST 'Destroyed Skyworld')

Boomstick: Well, I never thought someone with Wario's physique could keep it up for that long.

Wiz: Wario's physical strength may have been impressive, but it really offered nothing against a combatant of Dark Pit's calibre.

Boomstick: Dark Pit could use just about any of his weapons to counter Wario's strength because of the long range advantage. Even when things were up close and personal, Dark Pit still had reasonable melee strength to match- if not surpass- Wario's power.

Wiz: Even with Wario's power ups, he was battling on borrowed time. Time he simply couldn't see Dark Pit off in. Even if he had used all his pots and Mario Bros. style power ups, Dark Pit could repel with his Orbitars and had enough to dish out punishment on a brutal scale.

Boomstick: Turns out Wario just didn't have the heart for this battle.

Wiz: The winner is Dark Pit!

Winner is Dark Pit

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