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Zangief vs Machamp
ZvsM
Season 5, Episode 15
Vital statistics
Air date October 28, 2016
Written by Maxevil
Directed by Maxevil
Episode guide
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Zangief vs Machamp is a What-if Death Battle.

Description

Street Fighter vs Pokemon! Which of these two wrestlers in tights will take the gold belt of Death Battle.

Interlude

Wiz: Wrestlers come in all different shapes and sizes.

Boomstick: And apparel like tights warn by these two iconic wrestlers in gaming.

Wiz: Zangief, the red cyclone from Russia...

Boomstick: ...and Machamp the Superpower Pokemon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Zangief

Wiz: Zangief is among the one of the strongest Street Fighters of the circuit due to standing at seven full feet and weighing in at 350 pounds.

Boomstick: And despite what he did to my favorite wrestling hero, he still rocks that shin hair.

Wiz: He uses his push and pull techniques to throw opponents off balance, which is how he is Russia' champion wrestler. He also focuses on the combination of wrestling and martial arts known as Sambo, and when he lacks in perfect leglocks and chokeholds, he makes up for perfected groundwork, submissions, and grappling.

Boomstick: He also has many move up his sleeve to make him stand out from the competition the best he can, including his Double Lariat, his Atomic Atomic Suplex, Flying Power Bomb, and his powerful projectile blocking backhand known as the Banishing Flat.

Wiz: But let's not forget his signature move known as the Spinning Piledriver.

Boomstick: He got that move from his childhood pastime activity of wrestling Grizzly Bears while being caught in a cyclone.

Wiz: The problem with that though is that they are not native to Russia, so it is more likely he wrestled the Ussuri Brown Bears, who are twice the size of the normal grizzly bears.

Boomstick: But that is not the only badass feat he has done, as was mentioned in his special appearance in the Disney movie, Wreck-it Ralph, he has mentioned about taking a sparrow's egg a break it into pieces between his thighs, though not recommended to use in an omelet if that egg was crushed between his ass.

Wiz: Yet it wouldn't possibly matter, as he is an idiot due to him being a dimwit, like in the Street Fighter movie, he though Bison was a hero until he learned the truth from one of his supposed foes.

Boomstick: Though despite being a villain to certain, he can also be a hero at times too, in which he is loyal to his country time and time again, though he is more of a follower than a leader.

Wiz: But his follower skills don't matter, as long as he is willing to serve his country via representation.

Zangief: Zangief, You're bad guy, but that does not mean that you're bad guy.

Machamp

Wiz: This Pokemon evolves from Machop to Machoke and finally to Machamp, the Superpower Pokemon.

Boomstick: Looks like a rip-off of Four Arms from Ben 10.

Wiz: The stat that this Pokemon is high on is its Attack Stat, second going to both regular and Special Defenses.

Boomstick: Is that Pokemon on steroids or something?

Wiz: Doubtful, but that Pokemon is so strong, that their well known feet is moving an entire mountain in one hand.

Boomstick: Wow, even more impressive than how Donkey Kong punches the Mario Universe's moon.

Wiz: It has its moves at the ready too like its stat changing moves, Leer to lower its foes' defenses, Focus Energy to raise its chances for Critical Hits, Scary Face to drastically lower the foe's speed, and even Bulk Up to raise its Attack and Defense stats.

Boomstick: And he isn't without damage dealing moves like Low Kick, Karate Chop, Low Sweep, Seismic Toss...

Wiz: Which deals the amount of damage to the foe depending on the user's level.

Boomstick: It can also use revenge with the attack power being twice the power on the same turn, plus Vital Throw, Knock Off, Dual Chop, Wake-Up Slap, and Cross Chop.

Wiz: It also knows Submission which deals recoil damage to the user if the attack hits, and it can confuse the opponent with its damaging move, Dynamic Punch.

Boomstick: Speaking of punches, he can deliver like 500 punches in one second.

Wiz: In average form of Machamp to do that such a feat in one year, that means Machamp could easily deliver 15,768,000,00 punches.

Boomstick: Talk about punch power, such a feat like that with the movement of the mountain feat.

Wiz: Also in Pokken Tournament, it is amongst one of the thirteen different species of Pokemon to confront and defeat Shadow Mewtwo; fifteen including the DLC's of Darkrai and Scizor in the Japanese Arcade version, and that is despite the fact that it is weak against Psychic type Pokemon. Plus, when it is true that it is weak against Psychic, Flying and oddly Fairy types, it does make up for being strong against Normal, Ice, Rock, Dark, and Steel types.

Boomstick: This is one Pokemon to get out of the way or else you are as screwed as hell.

(Machamp enters the Diggersby Land tossing two hammer balls up and down and then tosses them up again only to drop them as it readies itself for fight)

Intermission

IntermissionZvsM

Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight

(Cue the theme song of the Main Menu from WCW vs NWO: World Tour)

We Open up in a wrestling ring with fans cheering on a match that is about to happen. Approaching the ring on one corner is Zangief, sporting his cape as he walks on stage, he then removes his cape, flexes his muscles a bit to woo the audience, pulls out a bottle of beer and drinks the whole bottle and crushes the bottle into pieces with one hand. But just then, he sees something tossed into the ring landing on the other corner, and rolling to a stop was a ball that was black with yellow square like stripes on top and white on the bottom. Assuming that the ball was his opponent, Zangief laughs out of overestimation, that is until he notices the ball opening up which then reveals a gray colored humanoid creature in black tights with four arms, known as Machamp, realizing that the Superpower Pokemon is the real Opponent, the Red Cyclone from Russia himself gets to his fighting stance.

FIGHT!

(Cue the Hoenn Region Victory Road theme (Super Smash Bros. Brawl version)

The two wrestlers charge at each other and then Zangief jumps in the air to try and kick Machamp with both his legs, but Machamp uses his upper arms to block the attack but Zangief was quick on his feet to stop him from landing but is not quick to see Machamp use his Low Kick move, but then Zangief, despite being knocked down, kicks Machamp off to make him lose his balance and Zangief grabs Machamp from behind to use the Double Final Atomic Buster by slamming his back twince in a cricle form and tries to finish the combo off, but the Superpower Pokemon stops the move with his upper arms, then uses his lower arms to Dual Chop Zangief on the sides and use Vital Throw to get Zangief off him, then Machamp charges at Zangief with a Karate Chop, but Zangief uses the Double Lariat, which catches Machamp off guard recieving certain damage, but just as the Russian Red Cyclone himself was about to finish the move, Machamp stops the move with its Low Sweep, and tries another DUal chop to both Zangief's arms, then Machamp uses Bulk Up and then grabs Zangief by the legs with his upper arms and then by the waist with his lower arms and jumps up into the sky, perfoming the Seismic Toss, in which he goes around in circles like he was flying around the world at rapidly fast speeds, but Zangief gains enough recovery in his arms to grab Machamp by the legs and turn the tables on the Superpower Pokemon with his move, the Spinning Pilediver and succeeds, but then it gets shortlived, as Machamp turns the tables back with another Seismic Toss, but Zangief turns the tables again with the Spinning Piledrive, then the two wrestlers in tights themselves try to turn each other's tables as much as possible to try and see who's move would win between the Spinning Piledriver and the Seismic Toss, until both wrestlers crash down back on the ring causing a large boom and a big cloud of dust, until it removed itself revealing two wrestlers lying on the ground, which include Zangief, who is losing a lot of blood that is heavily bleeding out of his head, as for Machamp, he gets up onto the ground and flexes his four arms in victory as the crowd cheers.

K.O.!

Machamp is then crowded by seven Mega Gardvoirs careening Machamp's abs and arms.

Results

Boomstick: Haggar has been avenged.

Wiz: Zangief might have tackled the speed category, but Machamp basically tackled every other category. Including Strength the most, as you can see that Machamp is capable of moving a mountain, in which an average mountain can easily weigh in at a whopping 20,000,000,000 tons.

Boomstick: Holy shit, that can easily beat the 10 tons that Zangief can toss around. Plus, even Machamps de-evolved form Machop can lift up and even beat up 100 men at once.

Wiz: Also,while Zangief has fought Ussari Bears, Machamp is no different with Bear-like Pokemon like Ursaring.

Boomstick: Especially a group of them that know Hyper Beam!

Wiz: No Matter how powerful's Zangief's moves might be, they were not enough to stop the four armed Pokemon.

Boomstick: Machamp Seismic Tossed Zangief out like trash.

WinnerMachamp

Wiz: The Winner is Machamp.

Trivia

  • This is Maxevil's Ninty Fifth Death Battle.
Who would you be rooting for?
 
11
 
23
 

The poll was created at 06:30 on August 18, 2014, and so far 34 people voted.

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